White Dragon

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Organized Play Member. 424 posts. No reviews. No lists. No wishlists. 1 Organized Play character.


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338. The Erotic Adventures of the Great Enchanter Nowis - Ostensibly a book of rather unpleasant erotica, this crudely printed and amateurishly illustrated volume details the actions of the titular wizard, Nowis as he uses compulsion spells to force a succession of young women to perform sexual acts with strangers, family members, and animals. The book is derided even by it's intended audience of perverts for it's repetitiveness and crudity.

Disturbingly however, a knowledgeable person who reads the book quickly discovers that underneath the perverse subject matter and banal writing the author displays a intimate practical knowledge of how to use enchantment spells to compel obedience from individuals. A person who can stomach spending a week studying the book gains a +1 bonus to saving throws vs. mind effecting spells. Additionally, a spellcaster with Spell Focus: Enchantment also gains a +1 to the DC of his mind effecting spells.

Interesting. Really nerdy, but interesting. :)

It is kind of nice to see some good gods for tieflings and androids though.

Where to begin?

The Man with the Iron Fists is supposed to be a throwback to the classic Shaw Brothers movies of the 70s and 80s, and in some ways it succeeds. Oddly historically inaccurate setting? Check. Incomprehensible plot? Check. Weird martial arts and weapons? Check. Ridiculous hair and a villain with ludicrously absurd eyebrows? Check and check.

So we're good right? Grab your popcorn, turn off your brain, and embrace the lunacy! What more could you want?

Well, how about a script editor to start?

See, there's just too much going on. There's something like six stories being told here, and the one that's supposed to be the main story is the least interesting.

Now, you might be saying that, "it's a martial arts film, the plot doesn’t matter." But as an example of how muddled the story is, there's a point about halfway through the movie where you sit through an extended flashback that explains how an escaped slave from the American South (RZA, channeling Denzel Washington at his dullest) became a blacksmith in Northern China, and it wasn't until about the middle of this badly overlong flashback that I realized that the blacksmith was supposed to be the main character of the film! That's how badly overshadowed the alleged main character and his narrative is by every other character in the film, from Russell Crowe to several of the background characters. And Crowe is obviously just phoning in his performance.

That's not to say there wasn't entertainment here. Lucy Liu steals every scene she's in, and David Bautista badly made me want to watch a film about his character, but neither of them is on screen enough to stave off the boredom.

Then we get to the fighting.

It's a martial arts film. More than that, it's a deliberate attempt to recapture the feel of the great old Shaw Brothers kung-fu epics of the drive-thru movie era. You have a bunch of actual martial artist and actors with extensive experience playing in martial arts movies being choreographed by the legendary Corey Yuen! The scenes they filmed must have been brilliant! Masterpieces of martial arts and wirework!

Then they were edited together by a bunch of Americans.

Yes, once again a possible masterpiece of action choreography becomes a seizure-inducing mess of quick cuts, close-ups, figures in shadow, and….

G!!%**nit, how f@#king hard is this? There's a reason Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, Jet Li, Jackie Chan, and even f@#king Jean-Claude Van Damme films are considered martial arts classics, it's because you can F@#KING SEE THE FIGHTS!

But noooooo, not here in America, not anymore. Here in America we want to not see what's happening. We want to see a perfectly executed fight scene be turned into something resembling a student film on youTube. We want to see how many epileptics we can discover in the theater!

Damnit, I'm sick of writing about this. Just wait and rent it, that's the bottom line.

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I suspect that "bigger room" is going to be the defining theme of this thread, and it would be great if Paizo can afford it, but beyond that I'm hard pressed to see where there is much room for improvement beyond some minor details.

Sound proofing would be nice, but I suspect that it would be to expensive to do, even if (or especially if) it was something the Convention Center had to do.

More pizazz in the booth perhaps? While it was in a prime location and there was a great selection of merchandise it wasn't as eye-catching as others (like Privateer Press' booth) and I had a hard time seeing it from other parts of the hall.

I would ask that Paizo ratchet back on the number of buttons given away, as I found it impossible to get to the booth soon enough every morning to get that days button.

Very sad. Borders always had a great selection and much better coffee than either B&N or Books-a-Million. But their late, half-assed entry into the internet and e-books market doomed them.

CapeCodRPGer wrote:

IMO its there own fault. Seemed everytime I would go into my local Borders the whole place was rearranged. hard to go in, get what you want and get out when you have to keep looking around for stuff.

I have a friend that worked for them and asked Him about it. He said the upper management kept making the stores do that when the local managers would get alot of complaints about it. Looks to me the upper managment did'nt care what the customers wanted.

Yeah, that's another thing. There really has been a 'rearranging chairs on the Titanic' feel to the place these last few years.

Have you checked out c873788's Guide to Witches yet?

After everyone is eaten, you are digested last.

deinol wrote:

How did this become a discussion about stuff entirely unrelated to Words of Power?

I think because there's not a lot to say about Words of Power.

It's there. A DM or player can use it if they want. But it's to free form to use in either Society play or an Adventure Path and there's no indication that Paizo is going to do much more to support it.

The "historical" Friar Tuck is described as a monk who was thrown out of his monastery for disrespect for authority and is known for his love of alcohol and fine food, so the Drunken Monk archetype might work better.

Just an FYI, because it doesn't make it clear in the SRD, but poisonous frogs excrete their poison through their skin, making handling them fairly dangerous even though captive specimens loose much of their toxicity.

If you're going to have one as a familiar I'd stock up on gloves and antitoxin.

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Another place you might want to look is in the Monsternomicon. The Cephalyx are basically Mind Flayers with a leather and medical fetish.

Will any copies be available at Gen-Con?

Phasics wrote:
WhipShire wrote:
Cheapy wrote:

The issue to me is that there seems to be a difference between just killing a monster or bandit, and making them your friend...then killing them.

Perhaps I'm alone in this thinking.

I know the original intent of your question is about morality but it seems to me if he is charmed their are many ways out of that situation that does not require killing said charmed NPC.

Like... Hey my new friend lets go down to the local law enforcement office or look at these lovely ropes/shackles I bet they would look great on you this time of year... Hey lets go skinny dipping in that great muddy... you first Taa dah naked NPC... just my 2 cents...

would that mean sleeping with a charmed NPC more or less evil than killing them ;)

Oddly enough, the only time I've ever seen the charm spell used that way in a D&D property is in the unusually awful Temple of Elemental Evil novelization from 2001.

Possibly the worst novel ever published by WotC (certainly the worst I've ever actually read), it's especially notable and egregious that the subplot of the evil cult leader using Charm Person to control his kidnapped teenage sex slaves is the most well written part of the book. :(

Foghammer wrote:
Ravingdork wrote:
She was an antisocial scientist.
But also a seductress. She frequently sweet talks people, even before laying down any charm or suggestions. She does it pretty damn well for someone who is "antisocial," too. I make a third motion for higher Cha. It just fits.

Agreed, Ivy's mind control and poison abilities are almost as defining a characteristic as her plant abilities. To the point that sometimes her MC powers overshadow her plant abilities.

I'd suggest making her mechanically a Dryad who's removed her tree dependency.

There's a PrC in the old Complete Mage book that allows this. Blood Mage I think.

I've really come to hate Elves always being stuck in the woods.

Why not put them in Italy, Greece, and Constantinople? Make them the squabbling heirs and former rulers of the classical world, as well as current rulers of the church?

I'm looking at making a Monk of the Empty Hand for Society play and had a few questions about the archetype.

First, the rules state that anything the monk uses as a weapon is considered either a hammer, club, quarterstaff, or shuriken. And while that is fairly comprehensive, it doesn't seem to address how a MotEH would use a whip, chain, scarf, or fire hose.

Logically, I would think that they would all be considered whips, but do the rules say that anywhere?

Second, largely for RP reasons (and the Cleanliness Vow) I'm thinking of concentrating on ranged combat with shuriken. Treatmonk treats this option as experimental, not going very far with it, and I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions for making it work.

Sounds like a good campaign to use the Kingmaker kingdom building rules.

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New magic item...
Elven Earrings of Flight

Aura moderate transmutation

Slot Ears, wearer must be an elf

These earrings appear to be ordinary earrings shaped like feathers. On command, they let an elf fly, without having to maintain concentration, as if affected by a fly spell by flapping their ears like a hummingbirds. He can fly three per times day for up to 5 minutes per flight.

Jeff de luna wrote:

Given the time Elves have to waste learning obscure skills, I suspect many could wiggle their ears (if they desired to). I put a lot of effort into into it when I was 9 or so.

More seriously, ears (particularly prominent ones) are often part of the body-language of animals. Elves, having larger ears, might have evolved them similarly. This might substitute for eye-rolling and other ocular body language impossible with a monochrome eye.

"Don't you dare flick your ears at me young elf!"

And if the DM is still going after your PC's spellbooks, I'd suggest being a Witch and taking a small familiar that doesn't leave your person.

A snake coiled around your arm, a centipede that lives in your cloak, a spider that makes it's home in your hat, or a toad that squats on your head. ("What's with the toad on your head?" "What toad?")

That way your familiar can't be targeted directly and is covered by any defensive spells you cast.

Of course, you're going to get a reputation as the creepy guy with bugs crawling all over him. But then, that's why they invented the spell Vomit Swarm isn't it? :D

Richard Leonhart wrote:

p.s. I don't know much about metal, and altough I always tought they wear long wild beards, I can't think of a single metaller with a beard ...

Rob Zombie.

Make it a gunpowder-powered engine...just don't forget to have your players make a save vs. deafness.

Fun fact, Red Sonya is almost completely a creation of Marvel comics. Robert E.Howard did write a character called "Red Sonja", but she was a gun-totting swashbuckler in Renaissance Europe who fought against the Ottomans.

So a Fighter/Gunslinger might be more appropriate. :)

Andrew Betts wrote:
carborundum wrote:

I can get a Galaxy Tab 10.1v through my phone provider with a nice deal - or I can save up for FOUR MONTHS(!) and get the Galaxy Tab 10.1 - not the 'v' version.

I'm vaguely sure the 10.1v has no USB connection, but if I can insert an SD (or MicroSD) then I'll be happy too.

Anyone in the know who can advise?

Last I saw the 10.1 does NOT have an SD card (micro or otherwise). Its part of the reason I opted for the Iconia A500.

How does it handle Flash?

DR 10/magic and silver, so load up on those silver and/or enchanted bullets.

Andrew Betts wrote:
Just got an Acer Iconia A500. Absolutely loved it.

I've been looking seriously at one of those, for the full USB slot if nothing else.

How does it handle pulling PDFs, pics, and other files off a USB stick?

It sounds like you're already running with the character, but you might want to consider making him a Low Templar.

Turin the Mad wrote:
Vow of the Third Person: The monk must speak in the third person in all forms of communication. A monk with this vow increases his ki pool by 1 point for every 5 monk levels.

Aaaad we have a new leader on the board! :D

Ullapool wrote:


One of my characters, a magus, wants to go into the Bladebound archetype from the Ultimate Magic. It's on page 47 if you want to look it up. I'll wait . . .

Ok glad you're back. Basically it gives the magus a legendary weapon that grows with the magus. The thing is, it's very clearly expressed that the blade is more of a companion than a servant, it's conscious, and stuff.

So what I'm looking for here is any inspiration we can together come up with for how this blade finds its way into the magus' hand. Is it something the professor has in his house? Is it a treasure in the prison? Is it for sale, ultra-cheap in the scroll shop? Given the thinking-sentient-blade there could be some cool connections with the 4th module having to do with Cthuhlu-like otherworldly stuff - could we foreshadow that?

Recall that Bladebounds get their blade at level 3. So I have about a level to line this story up and make it happen.


There are a couple of other threads on the Bladebound, and the most common comparison people seem to be drawing is to the Zanpakutō from the Bleach manga/anime. That is to say that the blades are powerful spirits the characters summon, and are bound to, that take the physical form of weapons.

Awesome idea!

You might want to look into either the half-ogre or half-giant. The half-ogre gives +4 to strength and the half-giant is treated as one size larger when grappling, bull rushing, etc...

The h-o can be found on the Pathfinder SRD and the h-g is in Dreamscarred Press' Psionics Unleashed.

Have you checked out c873788's Guide to Witches?

You could go the Battlestar Galactica route and have Baldur be the leader of a group of refugees fleeing from the utter destruction of their home world/plane.

When they arrive at their "promised land" they might not be inclined to listen to anyone saying "we were here first".

Gregg Helmberger wrote:
I would caution you not to go crazy with the familiar as a combatant. Replacing one is really expensive and imposes a significant hardship, not to mention costing you all the spells you've pumped into it through scrolls and whatnot. The best familiars are the ones that don't get noticed, not the ones that can scrap next to the witch.


As a Witch, using your familiar in combat is sort of like a Wizard using his spellbooks as melee weapons.

In fact, it's worse. A Wizard can have multiple copies of their spellbooks as backups.

While I'm as starved for new Oracle content as anyone I think your player could get what he needs by using the Wasting curse.

Just replace "Your body is slowly rotting away" with "Your body has one or more open, bleeding wounds".

Just that it's historically appropriate as well. "Doc" wasn't just a nickname, Holliday actually was a doctor. A dentist to be accurate.

You might want to see if you can do anything with an Oracle with the wasting curse, as that would probably represent his lifelong illness better.

Both are good options mechanically, so what it's going to come down to is your character concept.

Take the magic cat if you want a familiar that will either play into the traditional image of a competent, mysterious mage or fade into the background if your PC is trying to be subtle.

Take the half pseudo-dragon/half butterfly if your PC is trying to look FABULOUSSSS!!!

jemstone wrote:
KaeYoss wrote:
Firest wrote:

Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Yes, but where will we get a turkey baster at this time of night?

Why, Turkey Baster World, of course!

It's right next door to Spatula City!


deinol wrote:

Big chains like those, they don't care about getting RPG books right at street date. The delays are all most likely caused by them only ordering a giant order from the distributor once a month or so. It didn't make it into this month's order, so it'll happen on the next one.

I could be wrong, but it happens to just about every RPG book around release. People make the same complaints about the 40k RPG books from FFG as well. I'm fairly certain it isn't Paizo or the distributor's fault, but the way the big chains order books.

However it happens it's good news for the FLGS. When I picked up my copy the manager mentioned that I'd gotten the last copy and that it had just flown of the shelf.

When I told him that Borders and B&N wouldn't be getting UM in store or shipping it until July 12th he was surprised and pleased.

My suggestion would be to take the Fox familiar, call it a young wolf, and then take the wolf later as an improved familiar.

ntin wrote:
Firest wrote:
Foghammer wrote:
Jiraiya22 wrote:

Including atmosphere, the Earth is about 15 trillion cubic feet. As a 20th level caster you can make 400 10 ft cubes with the Greater Create Demiplane spell, so 40,000 cubic feet per cast. It will take 3.8 billion casts to equal the volume of the Earth and its atmosphere. To cast that many permanency spells at 22,500 gp per cast it will cost 87 trillion gold pieces, plus 2 trillion gold for the cost of forked metal rods which are the material component for the Create Demiplane spells, so you will need 89 trillion gold pieces. One gold piece is 9 ounces, so you need 800 trillion ounces of gold, which is about 880 million american short tons of gold.

So for the low low price of a 1.5 billion square foot block of gold you can have Earth.

I was bored, I'm done now.

That covers materials, what about labor costs?

Just offer free t-shirts, everyone will show up to help.

Wow Pinkey and the Brain?

Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

JRutterbush wrote:
I agree that it's an awesome flavor thing, but I also agree that it's not necessarily 20th level in power. How often do people actually get that high in games? I'd love to see this sort of cool thematic stuff that can be done in a game that people can actually play in. It's not that much more powerful than a cool mount. I can see it being a Major Hex, and toning the abilities down a bit.

Or a lesser version being a Major Hex, then getting better as your PC levels.

It's not just Borders though, I checked with Barnes&Nobles and they're getting Ultimate Magic on July 12 as well.

So I just went ahead and bought it at my FLGS.

Fine, fine! You've convinced me. You can have a scimitar.

But you're still not playing a Drow!

jemstone wrote:
Hama wrote:

That "just lava" Is the reason we have atmosphere, because the mass of the entire earth gives it enough gravity to keep the air around it. Also, a hollow planet would be cold. Very cold. And mos probably a barren, frozen wasteland, with nothing to keep it warm on the inside.

There you go mixing hard science and fantasy gaming again.

It's a world in which gods, demons, magic, and people with pointy ears abound. A wizard can literally create something from nothing with the snap of his or her fingers. Joebob The Mighty Left Hand Of Croom, God of Drunken Brawls, can hold up the Sacred Tankard and shout out "CROOOOOOOOOOOOM ON YA!" and whollop a Dragon for a skintillion points of damage and later go out carousing with the Dragon's (now deep into her cups) dearly lamenting pixie girlfriend.

No one in a fantasy game worries about "atmosphere" - they ask "Is there air?" The molten core of the world doesn't keep it warm, that's what the SUN does! Or, if not the sun, the warmth of the Creator Gods! If the world is hollow, it's hollow! Hidden civilizations! Dinosaurs! A sun that never moves! Travis Morgan, The Warlord of Skartaris, striking out from Shamballah The Golden to bring freedom and unity to the entirety of the hidden world!

Or is that Mike Grell and DC comics? I can never remember.

My point being that while the catgirl population is clearly out of control, there's no need to slaughter millions of them by bringing hard science into a conversation about creating a world using fantastic magical power. ;)

Plus, not only can you greatly reduce the weight of material needed by making the world completely hollow, but you can also stick a sun on the inside of the sphere as well and double your living space.

Or, if you left it lightless what kind of ecology could you create in a black void the size of a planet? Shadow corrupted air elementals? Huge schools of Beholders? Cities of Mind Flayers built on huge, floating monsters?

According to a few anime/manga I've seen (Sayuki in particular) if you kill a thousand demons, or people with demon blood in them, you become a demon yourself.

Foghammer wrote:
Jiraiya22 wrote:

Including atmosphere, the Earth is about 15 trillion cubic feet. As a 20th level caster you can make 400 10 ft cubes with the Greater Create Demiplane spell, so 40,000 cubic feet per cast. It will take 3.8 billion casts to equal the volume of the Earth and its atmosphere. To cast that many permanency spells at 22,500 gp per cast it will cost 87 trillion gold pieces, plus 2 trillion gold for the cost of forked metal rods which are the material component for the Create Demiplane spells, so you will need 89 trillion gold pieces. One gold piece is 9 ounces, so you need 800 trillion ounces of gold, which is about 880 million american short tons of gold.

So for the low low price of a 1.5 billion square foot block of gold you can have Earth.

I was bored, I'm done now.

That covers materials, what about labor costs?

Just offer free t-shirts, everyone will show up to help.

Int as a dump stat?

"Look out, our foe's foul undead have escaped his control! They're running wild and attacking him!"

3.5 Loyalist wrote:

No, I've played second darkness, the battles in the ruins against the drow bring some memories back. The surface elven skirmish groups spread out, did their own thing, had trouble backing each-other and the pcs up, violence was dispersed and not concentrated. There was no cav, there were no heavy or medium infantry, or heavy polearm barbs or fighters to kill monsters quickly, there were no notable leaders leading the attacks to bravely drive the drow back and finish it quickly. It was piece by piece, and all over the place, with one troop type on the high elf side.

And if they were so fantastic, why are the pcs needed, and why have the drow been having victories and putting the surface elves under pressure? That the way the elves fight and what their capabilities and tactics are is quite predictable really works against them.

You can't really use the Elves fighting against the Drow as an example of how the Elven military would act in a major war.

Remember, the war against the Drow is a secret. The forces deployed against them aren't the best forces the Elves have available, they're the forces the Winter Council believes they can trust, intimidate, or make disappear in order to keep the secret of the Drow's existence.

As a result you have a group of individuals chosen either on the basis of their ideological purity or because they're expendable to the Council, rather than their ability as soldiers (and note I said soldiers, not fighters. There's a difference!) or to work together as a team in battle.

brassbaboon wrote:

I concur with Mistress. Wizards can, so witches should be able to.

I was hoping this thread was about role playing that "communion." My male witch gets his first play time tomorrow. His familiar is a scorpion. He is flavored as a."voodoo witch" so I intend to make that communion as creepy as possible.

Any suggestions?

I'm not sure if there are any scorpions that do this, but there are several types of creatures that carry their young on their backs.

So every morning your PC's familiar has a fresh batch of baby scorpions on it's back, one per spell, and the PC has to eat them one at a time.

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