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Cassidy Werner's page
54 posts. No reviews. No lists. No wishlists.
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Morfiedev wrote: I prefer Kate's intro, apart from it having too many currently's. I prefer other welcome posts.
Welcome, Kate and Austin!
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redacted: Hey! Your number of [redacted]s per sentence cannot exceed mine!
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A muffled voice from the hallway: "YAAAY! ....Wait. Crap. @#$&."
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zylphryx wrote: the soda machine is "HR" ... and a dispenser of carbonated, sugary, caffeinated goodness. Only in exchange for kittens and quarters.
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Hordshyrd wrote: Cassidy Werner wrote: Sara Marie wrote: crystal: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD INTERN!
jessica: Don't tell her she's the blood intern, it will go to her head
liz: And her head will swell up and axsplode like an overstuffed stirge MWOHAHAHAHAHA. What exactly did you do to earn a spot alongside Valkia? What do you think happened to the other interns? Though I am technically slave labor and haven't added any Paizo employee heads to my shield.
Incidentally, my internship is over in a month, so any of you could claim your rightful place as the Blood Intern by applying.
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Sara Marie wrote: crystal: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD INTERN!
jessica: Don't tell her she's the blood intern, it will go to her head
liz: And her head will swell up and axsplode like an overstuffed stirge
MWOHAHAHAHAHA.
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Jason: But... pumpkin latte. ;-;
(I wish I had context but I don't. The design office is across the hall.)
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One of my favorite parts about being an intern at Paizo is being able to sit back and watch conversations like this unfold:
Jessica: I couldn't wait until I got forced reincarnation so I could make a bugbear paladin!
Sean: I'm a bugbear, I'm creepy! *flails*
John: Did I hear bugbear paladin? What about a troglodyte paladin? Holy B.O.!
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Sutter: You know, like a wiener dog. Only in the most majestic way possible.
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Stephen: Luckily, Jason's hobbling still counts as a five-foot step.

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Tinkergoth wrote: Cassidy Werner wrote: DM_aka_Dudemeister wrote: ArVagor wrote: Well sure, sugar gliders *are* that fragile. But this is the mighty Kopinao! (Seriously, how many sugar gliders have you seen with purple and green stripes and poisonous tail stingers?) This week?
I live in Australia... so like thirty? Fourty?
They're like rats over here. Except they go for the head. I once had to give a presentation as part of a job interview. The title? "Australia: Land of Everything that Can Kill You." Kudos on staying alive, my friend. I love that we have that reputation. That said, what the hell kind of job were you applying for that you gave a presentation like that?
Apparently Madagascar is pretty bad for deadly creatures too, to the extent that the writers over at Cracked have started calling it Little Australia. College admissions counselor. :D
I live in fear for and in awe of Australians. In Seattle, we have just have to worry about hobo spiders.
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Timothy Ferdinand wrote: Cassidy, the text refers to merchants valuing them for their "potent venom", but apart from having the spell-like ability to accelerate poison, there doesn't seem to be any other reference to poison, can you explain? Hi Tim! It looks like some of the formatting got lost. You can find the poison details tacked on to the end of Glide, under the "Special Abilities" header.
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DM_aka_Dudemeister wrote: ArVagor wrote: Well sure, sugar gliders *are* that fragile. But this is the mighty Kopinao! (Seriously, how many sugar gliders have you seen with purple and green stripes and poisonous tail stingers?) This week?
I live in Australia... so like thirty? Fourty?
They're like rats over here. Except they go for the head. I once had to give a presentation as part of a job interview. The title? "Australia: Land of Everything that Can Kill You." Kudos on staying alive, my friend.
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Virgil Firecask wrote: El Ronza wrote: Good lord, who do I have to bribe to have one as a familiar? Sugar gliders are adorable, and this is almost too cute to bear. Actually, if you look carefully I think it was supposed to be one.
The skill line has an extra "+4 Sleight of Hand" tacked on the end even though the critter already has a "Sleight of Hand +8" earlier in the stat block.
So, I'm going to hazard a guess that this is an improved familiar that grants +4 Sleight of Hand to its master.
I think SKR might clean up the post a bit when he gets in on Monday. The +4 Sleight of Hand is a racial modifier. :) I didn't think about statting them as familiars, but I'm happy to do so and post an update on the forums at some point.
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Awh, no one's ever made me my own artifact before! I'll start harassing my GM to let me use it straightaway. Thank you. :)
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Alexander Augunas wrote: Orthos wrote: Only the raptors know the truth. We must send our most daring reporter. Or we could just send Intern Cassidy. Apparently the Paizo Warehouse staff trained the raptors to not attack interns. Too much messy paperwork otherwise. Interns must take contract work during subscription week to avoid being attacked by the raptors. Incidentally, the raptors look suspiciously like the warehouse crew.
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zylphryx wrote: Cassidy Werner wrote: Not cave raptors, but the creeping crud. I didn't even go to Gen Con!
Behold the result of our scheming.
Armor spikes and a vorpal bunny hidden in an innocent looking box?! Insidious! ;)
Great decoration btw. How did he react when he saw it? Thanks! Mika from the warehouse helped. :)
He signed heavily, begrudgingly let me place the armor spike crown (not pictured) on his head, opened his office door... and sighed again. While he acted resigned on the outside, I'm pretty sure he liked it at least a little, because he left the spikes on the front of his desk. The ones on the door had to come down almost immediately--dear Mr. Mona took 1d3 damage after failing his Reflex save.
Jason hasn't even learned his lesson--he's leaving for Dragon Con next weekend.
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Mr. Pilkington, Philosoraptor? Delightful. :D
The same rules apply to interns as apply to pets, thank you very much. One intern per flight can be stowed under the seat for an additional $80 charge.
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Adam Daigle wrote: Cassidy Werner wrote: There may or may not have been a directive on the project management whiteboard to BRING BOOZE on Tuesday... FOR FREEDOM! FOR HUMANKIND! And yet, there was no booze.
And I was disappointed.
Maybe if you'd take your intern to Gen Con, she would have been so grateful she'd have brought some.
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Drejk wrote: Did the others returned from their trip?
Don't they seem different? Don't they act strange, as if not exactly being themselves?
They seem to have applied the zombie template to themselves, yes. I may invest in nerf guns.
There may or may not have been a directive on the project management whiteboard to BRING BOOZE on Tuesday... FOR FREEDOM! FOR HUMANKIND!
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Not cave raptors, but the creeping crud. I didn't even go to Gen Con!
Behold the result of our scheming.
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Ashley, Chris, we must hold an official Office Shenanigans meeting. The purple monster's ideas intrigue me.
No, Drejk, that was just Mika. :D
Did you know that the warehouse employees have superhuman strength and endurance? On that note, back to subscriptions!
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We found the beginnings of a wasp nest under a pallet in the warehouse today. Clearly, this is a sign that the cave raptors have allied with a Calistrian cult. Rethinking helping the warehouse during subscription week.
Have dropped parents off at the airport for Gen Con, adding to newly-developed abandonment issues. Don't leave me, forum people.
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Drejk wrote: Spider decorations? There were no spider decorations in the designers' office... Spiders serve as a Jason Bulmahn deterrent. Sadly, they work on interns as well.
zylphryx wrote: Just remember, if you fill someone's office with packing material, just be sure to leave a bottle of their favorite alcohol on their desk ... it will delay the inevitable payback. One of the first things I was taught at Paizo is the concept of ~*~INTERN IMMUNITY~*~. But I like your style.
I am pricing large quantities of party hats and gray spray paint for use in one office. I am open to ideas for Wes's office, James's office, and the development and editorial pits.
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Most Paizo employees have flown to Gen Con. While not desperately trying to get subscriptions out with the warehouse crew, I sit in my dark office and listen to the cave raptors scuttle around in the walls. I think the spider decorations hanging in the designers' office across the hall are starting to move.
Very few supervisory staff members remain. Contemplating office pranks.
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James Sutter: Where's the best place to get a beer around here? Also, how do I kill a werewolf?
James Sutter: Dear Google Maps, How I kill werewolf?
Jessica: Also not something that's going on the Overheard thread.
Cassidy: ...Oh. Really? I was just typing that. D:
Jessica: Nothing is safe.
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[Source redacted]: Patrick is essentially a llama, except with less spitting.
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I have fulfilled my mission quota by facing things far scarier than Jason. 1-2-3 Not it.
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Michael Kenway wrote: I never saw any raptors, but that was before internistan was created for it's brief existence in the warehouse. . . There will be no planting of a flag on a desk in the office were you are allowed to sit. Unless you wish to wage war upon Project Management and Licensing simultaneously! You will be defeated! There is no doubt. Unless Jay and I have already formed an alliance with Project Management. Where does that leave you?
Oh, I know.
In the walls with the cave raptors.
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Laruuk wrote: Welcome!
Make sure you check the ceiling above your workspace at regular intervals...
Thank you! What for? My current list of things to watch out for consists of cave raptors, Pitax, and Cosmo.
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