Overheard at the Paizo office


Off-Topic Discussions

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Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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Sara Marie: I had a question about a character i'm building adn jessica said you were working on these rules right now and might could help me.
Sara Marie: She's a mermaid and I want to put armor on her fins and then armor spikes on that....

jason: I will kill you


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I can picture Jason humming "under the sea" while setting the office on fire

Project Manager

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Sara Marie: I had a question about a character i'm building adn jessica said you were working on these rules right now and might could help me. She's a mermaid and I want to put armor on her fins and then armor spikes on that....

Gary: can i have spiked tentacles?

Sara Marie: lol, no response which i assume means he's on his way to customer service with armor spikes

Christopher: So, if you can enchant armor spikes like weapons, what happens if I make them dancing?

Crystal: Can I buy armor spikes on my armor multiple times and get more damage?

Sara Marie: if he runs into james office and grabs a dogslicer, pelase let me know

Jessica: will do, but I think James has an armor spikes question for him too so he might use it on him first

Christopher: Best. Day. Evar.

Jessica: Rob's still in Jason's office.

Ashley: send the intern in for a rescue mission. no scratch that. I like her

Jessica: I can't. She had a question for him about armor spikes on a mount.

Sara Marie: no response from jason. ooh wait. "I will kill you"

Christopher: Success!

Crystal: Sara Marie says you're making all kinds of crazy promises to her for my mermaid game!

Jason: You are all dead to me.


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Can my alchemist get armor spikes for her tumor familiar?

Licensing Coordinator

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Can I multi class as a druid/alchemist so I can take an ape animal companion, give him a tumor, and then give them both armor spikes?

Follow up question:
If I cast animal growth on the ape animal companion, does the tumor gain reach also?

Editorial Intern

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I have fulfilled my mission quota by facing things far scarier than Jason. 1-2-3 Not it.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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crystal: redacted

ashley: im going to have to create a file for the mental images i do not need

christopher: I have many things to help you fill that file, Ashley.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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cs erik: It sounds funny in my head, but if I say it out loud... that's how I get punched in the face.

Licensing Coordinator

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Sara Marie wrote:
cs erik: It sounds funny in my head, but if I say it out loud... that's how I get punched in the face.

who would do-haHA


Lilith wrote:
John Compton wrote:

While checking off completed projects on our white board

Adam: What is that? Does that say "fajitas?"
John: Whaaa?
Adam: Oh, nevermind. I saw Faiths & Philosophies and thought it said "fajitas."
John: "Faith & Fajitas" sounds like quite the religion.
Adam: Sounds like Texas.

Damn I could go for some fajitas right now.

+1

Liberty's Edge Digital Products Assistant

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Jessica Price: SUMMON THE CAVE RAPTORS

Christopher Anthony: Sorry, the cave raptors are getting fitted for plate barding with armor spikes. All we have available are uncaffeinated interns.

Jessica Price: SUMMON THEM

Editorial Intern

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RAWR.

Dark Archive Software Developer

Robot Chris: what a time to look at chat


Sara Marie wrote:

crystal: redacted

ashley: im going to have to create a file for the mental images i do not need

christopher: I have many things to help you fill that file, Ashley.

You have no idea just how many things that are out there for that file ... o.0


I see that armor spikes are a new fad in Paizo. Will this influence the incoming artwork for Wrath Of The Righteous and accompanying books?


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Overhead at the last dungeon delve on Sunday of PaizoCon 2k13, otherwise known as Shaqnarok:

Wes Schneider:: Is your character made of more than twenty percent water?
Player: Um...yes?
Wes Schneider: Then Shaq drinks you! Roll a Fortitude save.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

I'm betting Jason's favorite comic book character was Archangel. Considering that if he was stated in Pathfinder not only would he have armored wings, and not only could those wings be spiked, but he could also fling those spikes at people.

Note to Paizo: Have Jason make an armor spike flinging enchantment that can be added to spiked armor.

The Exchange

Jessica Price wrote:

Gary: can i have spiked tentacles?

I read that as testicles...

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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liz: Do not want goblin beer.

liz: It would probably taste like fermented pickle juice

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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Andrew: I have 50 art orders for this Adventure Path and this is the only one with a human in it.

Dark Archive Software Developer

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Crystal: You get all worked up when you're walking around with the smell of murder on you.

Paizo Employee Chief Technical Officer

Sara Marie wrote:

liz: Do not want goblin beer.

liz: It would probably taste like fermented pickle juice

Unfermented pickle juice is lazy.

Webstore Gninja Minion

Vic Wertz wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:

liz: Do not want goblin beer.

liz: It would probably taste like fermented pickle juice

Unfermented pickle juice is lazy.

...So I'd find it in a goblin camp, is what you're saying...

Paizo Employee Developer

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Rob: I'd pick a nightgaunt over a shantak any day, because not only will it fly you around, but it'll also tickle you when you're feeling down.


brock, no the other one... wrote:
Jessica Price wrote:

Gary: can i have spiked tentacles?

I read that as testicles...

Ow... Could you imagine using that as a weapon?

1d4 + 1d4 SAN damage...

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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christopher: Your ranks in Craft(manifesto) are of no help here.

crystal: But that's where I put all my ranks!

crystal: That and "Perform: mobster monologue"

...

robot chris: I read that as Lobster Monologue

Project Manager

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Meanwhile, in the warehouse:

Matt: So your animal companion is... a human?

Mika: Yes.


Sara Marie wrote:

christopher: Your ranks in Craft(manifesto) are of no help here.

crystal: But that's where I put all my ranks!

crystal: That and "Perform: mobster monologue"

...

robot chris: I read that as Lobster Monologue

You's tryin' to get smart wit us?

Liberty's Edge Digital Products Assistant

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Jessica Price wrote:

Meanwhile, in the warehouse:

Matt: So your animal companion is... a human?

Mika: Yes.

Well, I think calling Cosmo "human" is a bit of a stretch. Just use the stats for ape.


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens Subscriber
Crystal Frasier wrote:
Jessica Price wrote:

Meanwhile, in the warehouse:

Matt: So your animal companion is... a human?

Mika: Yes.

Well, I think calling Cosmo "human" is a bit of a stretch. Just use the stats for ape.

...with the "Creepy Mustachioed" simple template applied.

Editorial Intern

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[Source redacted]: Patrick is essentially a llama, except with less spitting.

Project Manager

Sara Marie: roombas on the other hand

Sara Marie: i have STAIRS planned for them

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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cosmo: Isn't there a Geneva Convention against stairing a roomba?


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The Geneva Convention does not apply when the Roomba is weaponized into a Sharkatnado

Dark Archive Software Developer

Crystal: Cosmo's good at making people feel what he wants them to feel.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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cosmo: Cosmo schadenfreudes all over himself

robot chris: NOT ON THE RUG

cs erik: THIS IS HOW WE GET ANTS!

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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sara marie: and in return for you mockment, i will throw products at you

christopher: In that case, I'd like to request a life-size Merisiel plushie.

cs erik: plushie.... I don't know if something filled with knives can be considered a plush...

Paizo Employee Chief Technical Officer

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Sonja: Did you cross off [redacted]?
Andrew: I crossed it off with the thick side of the marker!
Sonia: Woooo!

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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cs erik: She's dual wielding correct punctuation! You better watch out!

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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cosmo: You can tell when I'm getting close to combustion by the increase in frequency and volume of whining

ashley: kind of like a tea kettle

Dark Archive Software Developer

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Robot Chris: I have no idea what this is for. I'm just going to put it back in there and forget I saw it.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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justin: ... and everyone takes 80d6 of damage!

Spoiler:
80d6 ⇒ (5, 2, 6, 4, 3, 3, 6, 5, 1, 5, 3, 1, 1, 6, 4, 4, 2, 1, 4, 4, 4, 6, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4, 2, 4, 5, 2, 6, 3, 3, 2, 6, 2, 6, 1, 2, 2, 3, 3, 6, 1, 6, 2, 6, 2, 4, 3, 6, 1, 1, 3, 4, 2, 6, 6, 1, 2, 3, 2, 4, 4, 2, 2, 3, 2, 1, 2, 1, 6, 4, 1, 2, 1, 3, 4, 1) = 254


Sara Marie wrote:

justin: ... and everyone takes 80d6 of damage!

** spoiler omitted **

Tis but a scratch.

*keels over dead*

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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robot chris: wondering what goblin desert is
liz: A goblin desert is a place with no pickles and no fire.
robot chris: er ... dessert
liz: Goblin dessert? Fried pickles with frosting
christopher: And dog meat

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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sara marie: this is would be an awesome kickstarter
sara marie: need: $1000 to draw several things with armor spikes
sara marie: pledge $20 and get PDF with art
sara marie: pledge $50 and get PDFs and a print of your choice
sara marie: pledge $100 and get all teh prints
christopher: $1200 Stretch Goal: Picture of Jason Bulmahn's rage-contorted face when it's delivered.


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Methinks someone from Paizo should seek out some real armor with spikes on it, ask to borrow it, and wear it to work one day.

Paizo Employee Paizo Customer Service Algorithm

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Tels wrote:
Methinks someone from Paizo should seek out some real armor with spikes on it, ask to borrow it, and wear it to work one day.

Spiked armor doesn't offer a bonus to CMD against defenestration, and probably grants Bulmahn a circumstance bonus to his CMB for the maneuver as well. I'm going to have to pass on this one.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

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Crystal: I'm too lazy to open the PDF. So I stood up [to get the book off the shelf]

Robot Chris:I'm too lazy to post that in the overheard thread

Christopher: too lazy to comment on the laziness of others.

Sara Marie: sigh, i guess its up to me

Liz: Jump on that grenade Sara!

Crystal: Jumping sounds like a lot of work for a Monday

Christopher: Flop disinterestedly on that grenade.

Justin: meh, just let the grenade come to you

Paizo Employee Developer

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Jason: I'm not sure this monster is powerful enough yet.
John: I know just the thing to fix that. If [REDACTED].
Jason: I like it. Run with that. It's sufficiently cruel.


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Mark Moreland wrote:

Jason: I'm not sure this monster is powerful enough yet.

John: I know just the thing to fix that. If [REDACTED].
Jason: I like it. Run with that. It's sufficiently cruel.

Super Sekrit REDACTED Decoder:

"you add more armor spikes, it'll be more powerful."

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