Once upon a time, there was a girl who had to write a blog. And she really didn't want to because she was sick and could only see out of one eye and because it was Thanksgiving morning. She turned on the parade (because that would help productivity, obvs) and things didn't get any better. Apparently "parade" now means listening to the hosts attempt to make witty banter in between random performances of Broadway songs. She had signed up for giant balloons and marching bands, not this random showcase of songs from Broadway shows that paid money to be featured. She had reached the point where she was a) angry at a parade and b) had not actually written more of her blog because she was TOO BUSY BEING ANGRY AT A PARADE. Great Googly Moogly! Just as she realized that the marching bands and balloons probably hadn't reached the witty banter station and the performances were just filler until then, the marching bands and balloons showed up. And she lived happily ever after and kindly elves wrote her blog for her.
By now you've probably figured out that I am the girl in that (mostly true) story. And you're thinking, "Surely you weren't sick on Thanksgiving or dividing your attention between work and fun?! And surely-er, you wouldn't be the sort of person who gets mad at parades?" Sadly for me, the part about being sick and the part about being a person who gets mad at parades is true and the part about kindly elves finishing my writing is a complete fabrication.
Even with many of these things being true (I mean, seriously, what kind of person yells at their TV because the parade is wrong?!), it is still the holiday season and there are still many things to be thankful for. I'm going to focus on things related to the Adventure Card Game because that's what we're here to talk about. I am extremely thankful that you are taking some of your time to read this blog (even if you're only reading it to procrastinate doing work). And I'm thankful that you love this game that we all work so hard on (and I'm thankful I get to work on it!). I'm also thankful that it is my eye that is not working properly and not my fingers because that would make typing real tough. Enough with the warm fuzzies. Let's jump into the awesome stuff to look forward to.
Obligatory Shark Section
Hold on to your peg legs, kids—The Island of Empty Eyes has the biggest, baddest shark we've ever had!
She's got more teeth than you've got... well, anything.
This shark is not going to put up with any of your nonsense. None of it. And if you bring any nonsense, she's going to eat you and your ship. Speaking of eating...
Other Awesome Stuff Section
These are things to be thankful for. Even if some of them hurt you. And all of them are delicious. Or they find you delicious. Small details.
You guys ever listen to the Beach Boys? They actually put out a fantasy-themed album. It featured a track called "Koko, NO!" Seriously. They did.
(sing) Off the Fever Seeeeeeeeas, there's a tree called Koko, no! For the love of Besmara, stop pelting me with coconuts!!!
So, I love Koko. Koko lobs first, and asks questions later. And if you let her ask questions later, she'll just throw some more coconuts at you. It's not the best for people who intrude on Koko and her domain. If you've managed to keep your wits about you and have the wherewithal to use Fire against Koko, that'll help. But you better knock her out or it's more coconuts to the noggin' for you! When life, or Koko, gives you coconuts, there's only one thing to do. You put the lime in the coconut and drink 'em both up...
I don't know if you like dinosaurs as much as I do but if you're cool you probably like dinosaurs at least a little bit. So check this out—an entire location ALL ABOUT DINOSAURS! And a dinosaur Henchman!
Rampaging Triceratopses are just the buckin' broncos of the Dinosaur Corral. Yee-haw!
I hope you loaded up on Animal allies. And hopefully, you haven't been burying very many cards. If you don't have Animal allies to help you out and you've been burying cards left and right, who cares? Sweet dinosaur cards will make up for that! Unless you get eaten because that jolly little orange dinosaur finds you delectable. It's pretty hard to come back from being devoured. Your fault for being tasty!
There are also some good things in this set. I mean, I gotta give you some reasons to be thankful for the game. Check out this Saltbox.
A salty gun for a salty sea dog.
As you can imagine, this gun is similar to the Pepperbox (which is totally awesome, right?) except it's even better against monsters with the Aquatic trait. Because, just like a Pepperbox shoots pepper and makes things... um... sneeze, a Saltbox shoots salt and gets water things all shrivelly. Nevermind that they live in saltwater. That's none of your business.
Did I mention sweet dinosaur cards? This one is even friendly!
This is my Pteranodon and I shall call him Pterrence.
So, this flappy fellow will pick you up and drop you off somewhere else and let you explore. Plus, there's a d6 in it for you if you have to fight something. I'm pretty sure Pterrence's strategy is to make a loud, squawky sort of sound to distract your opponent. He doesn't really look like a biter. [Ed: I don't see any teeth in there. He must be a gulper.] Anyway, he's adorable and he helps you win. AND HE'S A DINOSAUR! Be careful though, he'll probably try to eat the pturkey at your Pthanksigiving dinner. His ptable manners leave something to be desired.
There's something else that fits in the category of awesome stuff, but I don't want to spoil the surprise. I don't use this word lightly (or ever, except for right now) but seriously, it's amazeballs. If things go well, it'll be the first thing you see when you open your boxes. I so wish I could see people's faces when that happens.
Scenario Preview AKA The Important Stuff
H'okay. So here we are in the part of the blog that is supposed to give you useful information and not just the ramblings of a crazy person.
These cards really make me want mustard.
By now you've realized that I'm going to walk you through The Feast of Spoils, which really is a feast of spoils. So many plunders! And some pretty ridiculous loot to boot. And all this food stuff is making me really hungry for our Thanksgiving feast. Probably I'm going to stop writing until after I eat. Food-coma writing is a little easier to understand than hunger-pang writing.
Some time later...
If you haven't noticed already, the blessings deck is a little wacky for this adventure. I am a big fan of messing with the blessings deck so I'm particularly excited for this. The Shipwrecks also happen to mostly be good things. You still get your turn (and who cares about any bad lycanthropes you might encounter on that turn—there's no blessing on top of the blessings discard pile to pump them up) and you get a chance to add some plunder to your ship. In a six-player game, that's eight chances! You might not hit them all if you burn through the game really fast, but you've got a good chance to add a fair amount of goodies for your party at the end of the scenario. Of course, if you don't succeed, you'll have to encounter The Pirate Council. You remember them, right?
The Pirate Council, or as I like to call them, the plunder plunderers.
Yeah, it's these guys again. Hopefully you don't fail at repairing a ship, and if you fail at that hopefully you don't fail at being charismatic or diplomatic. Just, don't fail. It's really that simple. So, that's just the nonsense with the blessings deck. Let's take a peek at what's actually happening in the rest of the locations.
The locations aren't anything to be too preoccupied with, but they will contain a Ruffian henchman or The Eel.
These guys are why we can't have nice things.
Eventually you'll get a few of the Ruffians out of the way and be able to finish off The Eel when you meet him. He clearly took lessons from Koko on how to lob stuff at you and your ship. Except he's not throwing coconuts. He's tossing bombs around like there's no tomorrow. If you aren't careful all that hard-earned plunder will just float away. So, be careful... which is like telling a triceratops not to rampage. Not as easy as it looks.
Anyway, here's hoping that was a fun preview of The Island of Empty Eyes and I'm crossing my fingers that your brain won't melt when you open it and see our special surprise for all of you. Oh, at the end of this scenario you'll get a class 4 ship feat, so I might as well show you one of the cool new ships.
Aren't you thankful for a ship full of werewolves? I know I am.
As always, thanks for reading and for those of you who celebrate, I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving with your family and friends eating tasty foods (I know I enjoyed my Tofurky!) and playing some games. No, happy elves did not get me to finish this during the parade. I decided writing with a food coma would be a better choice. And since I don't have a clever piratical way to sign off...I'm just going to leave this here.
*mic drop*
Gary Gaby Weidling
Adventure Card Game Developer
