Knights! Chimera! ACTION!! ((COMPLETED!)) (Inactive)

Game Master Legendary Sidekick

Welcome! Here are stats by body-type with one favorable exception for each player.

Aside from Body Type stats, I’m trusting you to be honest about what you’re good at. When you need to roll:

Roll d20 if you’re doing what your heroine is good at, according to your design. Odds of success will always be in your favor. Even with a difficulty of 10, odds of success are 55%.

Roll d12 if you’re doing something your heroine is not good at, including saves that I kinda forced her to suck at. Odds of success are against you when the difficulty is hard (8-10).

I need to get a profile together, hopefully tonight. The games I'm running are popping off, keeping me busy.

No biggie. I don’t intend to move ahead until all four players post at least once each. I’ll sprinkle some scenery to buIIshit you into thinking you know what’s going on.

I moved your stats to the campaign info page, and the info at the top of the screen is a checklist.

▶️ = thing to do
✴️ = battle!
✅ = thing you did

Thank you all for posting on Day One!

About the optional “perception check”… d20 vs d12 isn’t because of any particular strength or weakness. It’s purely circumstantial (positioning, in this case).

Also, if you haven’t guessed by now, if I give three choices for next scene, the further down the list, the further forward we move the game. That said, if you pick the top choice, I won’t slog through the other two. The bottom choice won’t be significantly quicker. It’s just my way of saying “let’s move on” and giving you a choice as to where I point the camera.

Delmoth (Bella the Raptor-Woman) probably noticed by now that, as a player, I can spend forever in a scene… or do unimportant shit that sorta makes sense to my character, like rescue a puking demoness when there’s bad guys to kill. So if I come off as cracking the move-on whip, it’s not you, it’s me.

New things to do* will be addressed in-game in a later Fluffernutter post. I’ll hold off until tonight if there are new posts, or sometime tomorrow if not.

New things to do* will be addressed in-game in a later Fluffernutter post. I’ll hold off until tonight if there are new posts, or sometime tomorrow if not.

** spoiler omitted **

I refuse to open the spoiler. So I have no clue what you are talking about. So hold off, hold on, or hold whatever makes you happy. :)

I was referring to the updated to-do list at the top of the page.

This:
✅ Become a team! Close enough!
▶️ Avenge the barbarians by…(?)
▶️ Find the chimera and…(?)

Delmoth said he won’t be able to post, so I’ll try to let him get another Raptor-Woman scene in before I kick the PCs outta town.

I want blood and gore and boss music sooner rather than later, so I’ll push no later than Monday morning.

Don't take Emi-na's reluctance as anything serious on the part of the player. Every heroic team needs that one character swept up against her will and forced to be a hero!

So, Badia is basically the female half-orc version of Minsc from the Baldur's Gate games. Just without the miniature giant space hamster. :D

Jump on my sword while you can, evil... I won't be as gentle!

Soon. I want Delmoth to get a chance to catch up. Until then, a moment of seriousness:

• I certainly hope everyone is having fun.
• I feel responsible for the fun of all players involved.
• I intentionally wrote the king as a jerk, and in doing so, it seems I unintentionally opened the door to an atmosphere that is generally disrespectful to women.
• In a game with an all-female party, that’s the opposite of what I want.
• My fault for not saying that up-front.

I can assure you that, villains aside, the Huntress team will earn the respect of both men and women in Southtopia. In order for that to be believable, let’s make sure the teammates respect each other.

No player has complained; I’m not naming and shaming. I’m just saying I *think* I see an issue brewing, and I’d rather address it now then let it fester.

Let’s make the rest of the game something my daughters can read.

Well… they won’t read it. Somewhere halfway between that and where we are now will do.

In this medium and being anonymous, my personal feelings can't be hurt.

While my characters will react in game, I by no means want to hurt another player's feelings. I just write what I think is amusing and funny.

PM me should I offend. We'll settle out of court, but you'll have to sign a NDA.

No offense taken here, either. All in good, silly fun!

I appreciate the feedback. PM me if you feel the need to discuss serious stuff.

Now back to me being a goof.

EDIT – and the Queen post updates your goal. You almost know the name of a possible target!

▶️ Defeat the Grape Ape! …or is (s)he the Violet Ape?

I feel like I'm holding you guys back so I'm going to bow out. Too much going on right now.

Happy gaming!

Bummer, but I’m in enough of your games to have noticed you’re busy these days.

To the rest of you, I’m gonna move you on the road toward B-movie-quality violence sometime today!

Spoiler alert: west or east will lead you to your first battle.

Interestingly, if Badia were to carry both magic-users and roll less than five, both people being carried could still roll the magical means.

Meaning only one of you needs to succeed if you work together.

…or there’s that 0.8% chance all three of you roll less than five and the battle happens at the bottom of the chasm!

Or even deeper than the chasm

@Badia, what’s especially hilarious about that video is the lack of energy the guy has as he un-energetically puts one leg over the rail… then the other.

@All, I was gonna do something else with the dead barbarians, then at the last second I thought of those zombie ants.

Also, I decided to put PC Stats back up top. Italics are GM gifts. Emi got a new toy because she happened to reveal her powers to another sand wizard in town. (Common power was a highly amazing coincidence. Wizards of the Coast have beach-themed magic. Other Jeff manipulates sand, usually into a castle shape! You can check their profile if you really want to know the other four… but you’re fighting alongside them, so you’ll see.) Badia and Randy will get bonus items too.

@Emi (and Randy), you will always have access to your magic. What you’re good at is just for the cinematics. You, the players, tell me how sand and earth magic work, and I’ll use the d20 to determine how well. Rolls above 10 are like high damage die rolls. Nat.20s are nat.20s (you don’t roll again to confirm).

@All, loved your first battle posts! @Randy, really loved your interpretation of losing initiative!!

@Randy, theme music is more than welcome. I just now discovered the Big Lebowski mix. I was actually looking for the track from the movie when they fight the nihilists.

Also, a 10 won’t be that effective. You did kill… just not so many. The description of the spell itself (pebbles, ripple effect) is absolutely perfect. Please, going forward, let me be the one to tell how many bad guys you kill. A natural 20 would do exactly as you described, and Badia would also multi-kill with a 20. Even teens might take out a couple guys.

I like the imagery, so despite the average roll I’ll keep the midair flopping but have several zombies land on their feet, and some on their backs.

EDIT - Badia’s post provides a perfect example of what I mean. She knew a 6+ would force the grappler into the death hole, so she correctly narrated that bad guy death. She cuts off her next attack at the die roll. (Though the player probably guessed that an 8 is enough for one kill.)

I'll try to be better at guessing

No worries. You’re playing a total BS rules-lite non-system. You did nothing wrong. I didn’t explain combat, figuring you guys will mostly guess correctly and when you don’t, I can explain.

Just to add: there is no GM roll. If you need to defend, I’ll do as I did with Badia.

Any turn where you defend (save), defense is your first (possibly only) roll; consequences of failure can be a loss of one heart, two hearts and/or the inability to attack in that round.

You may be stuck with a d12 for defense. (In this battle, Badia: d12 will, Emi: d12 reflex, Randy: d12 fort… and d12 vs a grappling barbarian if you’re not Badia!)

Why can't it be d20 if the defense is magic?

For you, yes: d20 vs magic is a thing. Like Badia gets d20 vs strength.

And if there were a fairy player, she would want to use those wings to stay away from grabby foes! Fairy vs. strength is the one place I’d crank the difficulty to 11. (Fairies also auto-succeed in situations where flying or being tiny helps.)

no....I mean Someone fires an arrow at my character, and he reflexively uses magic to cause a stone shield to erupt from the ground.

no....I mean Someone fires an arrow at my character, and he reflexively uses magic to cause a stone shield to erupt from the ground.

Well… I gotta have some weakness to exploit!

But anyway, you get d20 to reflex vs. attack in broad daylight as a GM gift. I can change that to outdoor environment, for the quick access to a stone shield, if you prefer. (It is actually slightly better your way, since this covers caves and night, and either way, broad daylight kind of implies outdoors.)

EDIT - @Randy, see the PC stats tab. I made the edit per your above post. (You can always access your magic to attack, but to do so as a reflex action, you need to be outdoors on solid ground.)

Also, if the earth splits, that’s vs. magic for you. Your reflex save bonus doesn’t cover earthquakes if you jump out of the way (d12), but you have a better option: use magic to stop the earth from splitting (d20 for you, plus if you succeed, no consequence to any player who rolled and failed reflex).

@Randy, don’t forget that (1) to succeed at defense you gotta beat my number. How you do it is just cinematic, and (2) the attack is separate.

That said, I did give you a free counter attack with your nat.20 defense. I don’t want you to feel like you wasted a nat.20 on a dodge.

You should maintain a rules list as they come up.

Oh, right! You meant the rod failed and—got it!—you’re writing fails as attempting magic you don’t know. Okay, so you were aware you got hit.

The only thing you seemed to miss is that you get to hit back. I usually mention that in the spoiler, or if you can’t attack normally, I tell you that.

Both of you roll 7 or Less:

You lose ♥️♥️ as he slams your heads together repeatedly. You’re stunned. You need to roll a 10+ on your next attack to hit!

So after getting heads conked, you’re down to 1 ♥️ and you need to roll a 10+ for your attack to hit. But you can attack.

Updated PC stats tab. I assume you will all got into the hot spring (even if yo just dip a toe in).

@Randy,
I’m fine with the bone being another reason for you to roll d20 attacks (you’re a pimp, so a “pimp stick” is a melee weapon).

Regarding an overpowered ridiculous item like the sand snake scrolls, you already have one—it will be revealed next GM post. Hope you’ll like it.

@Badia,
Yours will come too. Like Emi-Na, you happened to create a character who shared a trait with an NPC. I hope you’ll find Badia’s prize worth the wait.

…I will give a thematic effect to your pimp stick. Just thought of one that fits. Next GM post, will reveal.

Badia the Mermaid

My 11-year-old said (yesterday, in the pool) she would build an underwater hut if she suddenly became a mermaid while swimming. Then she said to her sister (8), “Now let’s pretend we’re mermaids, like we always do when we swim.” Somehow the game switched to pretending to be “obnoxious boys.”

Anyway… I think you know I, as narrator, was kidding that mermaid magic delayed you. The unavoidable ape fight delayed you and the need for healing delayed you more.

Had Donny died—which the Stranger would not have liked—the healing spring would not have been an option. (You would have had a means to heal a little, though. I’m not a monster!) In this case, mermaid magic (sans spring) would have given you a chance to catch up to the knights. You’d move from one enchanted body of water to another. But in my opinion—as the guy who wrote this crap—is that the path that increases you max HP is the better one.

I don’t know if you guys click on Theme Music links, but I hope someone besides me gets a kick out of them. They Might Be Giants and Smooth McGroove are, arguably, not the weirdest musicians I picked from. I think you’ll agree when I post the Act III boss! (I mean… *if* you click on those links.)

You should try some Ween...no pun intended. They are great and weird

Been a while—I remember that band!

Gonna let PCs work through this a bit. I’m curious as to how Emi might weigh in, but in any case I’ll post after you make a decision. Or if that doesn’t happen today, in the interest of maintaining our rocket-up-the-ass pace, I can always make poor Sir Willis say, “I’m not dead yet, ack, barf, [insert more helpful last words here], gag.”

Flo will introduce herself as Flo, likely next time she talks, assuming you believe her and she stops fearing for her life. So far you only know Tom is the goat. That’s a New Englander thing, not that I care enough about football that killing off a goat named Tom had any connection to Tom Brady leaving the Patriots. Years of hearing Tom the Goat made that an easy name to use for a goat. Real-life Tom the GOAT can play for whatever team he wants, and I won’t be a MasshoIe about it.

Had you fought, I’d have given you a chance to stop. Aside from her begging mercy (as in her story), the lion would have done damage like
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️½

I mean you’d’ve lost half a heart from its hits. ’Cause it would have fought you half-heartedly.
Errrr…….. get it?

The least amazing coincidence is players asking where the other knights are as I’m posting the reveal.

The best coincidences were having a frog-worshipper and a sand mage. Yes, the bonus items are created after I know of your characters, but the frog head on the chimera and sand as one of the beach-themed magi elements were both planned before recruitment.

I stifled my urge to tell you that. Toy for Badia available soon, assuming you don’t all doubt Flo’s story and murder the chimera.

The switch axe was my weapon of choice in whatever Monster Hunter was out ten years ago. (Tri) I never tried gun lance or war horn (or for that matter, an MH game that had those weapons), so if one obviously-an-MH-weapon works like it does in the game, and the other two function in a totally different way, that’s why.

RtS(MM) is the switch-axe wielder’s HP bar. I noticed I had two RtS’s… after posting. It then occurred to me that the characters they’re named after have nicknames, both of which happen to be M-words, hence the tacked on parentheticals.

EDIT - could’ve gone with ORtS. Other RtS; Other Randy. Oh well.

GM Fluffernutter wrote:

Like many of his biologically-male clients, Randy’s rocket enlarges considerably and goes off prematurely

If we are to bash males as a group... You forgot to mention their small manhood.

I’m bashing people who go to brothels, not all men. And from a professional’s POV. Granted, my knowledge of the working girl’s perspective is limited to Lili Von Shtupp’s song in Blazing Saddles.

Also, the rocket is very big. I guess a compensation line, like what they say about muscle cars?… well… I didn’t want to tack on more of that. 15 is my limit on dick jokes.

^That said, if I crossed a line with you, sorry. Misread on my part.

The Misfit wrote:

GM Fluffernutter wrote:

Like many of his biologically-male clients, Randy’s rocket enlarges considerably and goes off prematurely

If we are to bash males as a group... You forgot to mention their small manhood.

I’m bashing people who go to brothels, not all men. And from a professional’s POV. Granted, my knowledge of the working girl’s perspective is limited to Lili Von Shtupp’s song in Blazing Saddles.

Also, the rocket is very big. I guess a compensation line, like what they say about muscle cars?… well… I didn’t want to tack on more of that. 15 is my limit on dick jokes.

^That said, if I crossed a line with you, sorry. Misread on my part.

While I believe I am responsible for my feelings and you aren't

I was teasing you. No one believes you are trying to hurt someone's feelings.

I'm happy bashing men or woman as a group or individually. People are jerks sometimes and they deserve to be made fun of.

@Randy, cool!

@Emi, yes, I meant the attack roll is how you turn the attack around. But I’ll add chip damage to Robert the Strong from your nat.19. (I throw in counter attack damage when the roll is high and your narrative works.)

I’m at the airport waiting for my wife’s bro and sis. So I’m very available now, but will be busy soon.

In the interest of not screwing you out of the reward you earned (+♥️ for sparing surviving knight and smartly taking the fight outside so the chimera wouldn’t die helping you, so +♥️ for both Sam and Flo surviving), let me know if you want me to flat out tell you how to heal.

Please and thank you! :D

It's the fuchsia sand snake, isn't it?

Yes! Erasing GM post since you got it!