After nearly getting flattened by a clown who really hates fairies, Zindarel heals herself and her temporarily-tiny captain, ensuring their survival.
Illuria finds she can dodge a giant very easily. But aiming at one is another story. The target is huge but being a somethingteenth of her normal height is disorienting, to put it mildly. Complicating matters more is the tiny bullet that shoots the wrong clown on the clown-pyramid. It’s a clown on the second row that gets shot in the heart. A tiny arterial spray squirts from his chest. He calmly plugs the hole by placing a finger on it.
The clown above him loses his balance, flailing his arms wildly. When the driver makes his U-turn, that one clown is flung out of the car. The clown tumbles about, splitting into crows that eventually lie still and broken on the bridge as roadkill.
Castra runs to meet the car, tearing into clown and car! There is a storm of red and blue! Flaming tires fly from the wreckage! Frozen clown tumble and shatter into icy pieces! When the last human-sized clown splits into crows they are ripped to bloody feathers from a red-and-blue whirlwind!
Then… Betty sees a solitary crow with a white face. It becomes a clown who is only a few inches taller than Zindarel and the still-tiny Illuria. He removes a green hanky from his inside pocket, which transforms into a green hat big enough for a human head. He poses as if about to dive in, but is paused.
Crow T. Clown in a leprechaun. He is unable to move. No die roll is needed. You can kill him, or you can take him alive.
_____
Combat is over either way!
Betty Def:1d8 ⇒ 6
Betty is unharmed and remains plus sized!
A go-cart appears in Crow T. Clown’s thought-cloud. On the front is a decal that says SUPER FAIRY-O KART. The O on the sign looks like a cartoon tire trying to run down a fairy that, for some reason, is in a running position.
As it happens, Zindarel’s wings are stuck to her back like socks with static cling. She can’t fly and Illuria is tiny. Thus, when the go-cart falls from the thought-cloud and the remaining clowns all pile in, stacked like a reverse human pyramid…
@Tiny Ladies, RUUUUUN! (d8)
[1-2] Squished! -♥️♥️♥️♥️
[3-5] Car passes over you and you flop around! -♥️♥️
[6+] Safe!
The driver clown beeps the horn!
@Betty (d8) & @Cassie (d4) will saves!
[1-2] The sonic blast literally rattles your bones and makes you feel as if your head’s about to explode! -♥️♥️♥️♥️
[3+] Safe!
After the car passes, those still conscious can strike back as it spins out and comes at you for another pass!
d12 or d-whatever —attack before the clown-cart finishes you off!!
So close to getting Castra with the Super Mario Kart lightning bolt!
Illuria stabs a clown in the toe. He hops about making coi-oi-oing sounds, then slips on a dead crow, falls on his back and shatters like glass. Another clown blows a trumpet, wah, wah, wah, wahhhhhhhh.
Castra strikes a clown with a flaming sword. He and others around him explode in a mushroom-cloud burst! Crispy drumsticks and hotwings rain onto the bridge or tumble into space.
Castra’s blade freezes a balloon man to solid ice. The other dodges the flaming sword but its icy dance partner tips toward the survivor and *POP!* Zindarel bursts the other and Illuria shoots a few birds as she unloads on them.
The gun isn’t very effective at depleting the swarm, but the loud noise scatters them. Instead of attacking, they form Crow T. Clown—six feet tall instead of twenty—and another Crow T. Clown and many more!
Three white dots appear above their heads, and above the dots are a white poofy cloud. One clown’s eyes light up—and from the cloud come bolts of lightning!
@Everyone, will/reflex vs Brain Storm
• Betty, Zindarel d8
• Illuria d6
• Castra d6;d6 (speed boost applies)
[1-2] -♥️♥️ and shrink to fairy size (unless you already are, in which case you just can’t fly) for 1 round
[3-5] -♥️ but remain human size (unless you’re already not)
[6+] safe!
The dancing balloons bob and weave! Zindarel resists her attacker, who deflates a little as he really wanted to eat a fairy with his vacuum-foot. The medusa snakes pop several balloon snakes as they fly by, deflating the dancers who were just feeling awesome for dodging Castra’s lightning-fast blades.
Then to top it all off, a gravestone for Betty pops up as she is crushed by a fist!
HERE LIES
WHA? WHAAAA—??? the tombstone demands to know because suddenly the large woman is up again!
@Betty, you get to act before the enemy.
The gravestone breaks itself over Betty’s head.
@Betty, if your action was an attack, a 3+ prevents the gravestone from hitting you!
Else, d6 Fort!
____
And take action again. The tombstone is broken (dead) when you roll your second action.
The balloon men attack the non-Betties!
@Non-Betties, Reflex saves!
_____
Damage for all enemy attacks:
[1-2] -♥️♥️
[3-5] -♥️
[6+] Safe
____
Take action
Possible targets:
• melee: balloon men
• ranged/flying: crow swarm
As the demoralized minions attack halfheartedly, the clown separates into crows ready for another fly-by…!
The acidic silly string is no laughing matter! Zindarel and Castra retaliate. Three swords burst three balloon spider legs, and lightning from each of Castra’s blades takes out two more. Additionally, the spidermobile’s engine blows (which is bad, even though the vehicle is magically-animated stone and rubber) and the web-(silly-string)-slinger is encased in ice.
The stone doors are kicked open! Three very tall balloon-men climb out from the spidermobile. They wave in dancing S-shapes. One looks about to kick Zindarel, but the bottom of his leg sucks air into itself—and if her tiny wings can’t flap hard enough, the fairy will be gone with the wind!
@Zin, d4 fort save!
[1-2] get sucked inside the balloon-man! (-♥️♥️♥️)
[3+] safe!
The other two balloon men dance around Castra, bobbing, weaving…
@Cassie, d6;d6 reflex!
[1-2] both balloon men strike at once! (-♥️♥️♥️)
[3-5] you dodge one; the other’s attack is not so tough (-♥️)
[6+] you dodge both!
Illuria slices open the red underbelly of the poodleweiner. It whines as air slowly leaks. It tips over, rolls on its back, kicking up its disproportionate little poodleweiner balloon legs. It turns to face Illuria with sad-puppy black circles where eyes should be.
Betty bites! The circles become X’s. A deflated-balloon tongue flops from the balloon-dog’s slack jaw. It’s head rests, squeaking its final exhalation.
From the torn underbelly, A SHlTLOAD OF BALLOON SNAKES SPRING OUT AT YOUR FACE!!!!!
@Illuria(d6) will/reflex!
[1-2] you panic and get hit a lot! (-♥️♥️♥️)
[3-5] you gasp and duck under most of the attack! (-♥️)
[6+] safe
The birds suddenly fly together to form Crow T. Clown again. He makes a fist as big as Betty and punches her in the head!
@Betty, d6 fort!
[1-2] crushed by the fist (KO’d!)
[3-5] punched, but the enemy impales a finger on your horned helm (-♥️♥️)
[6+] safe!
Zindarel takes out at least a hundred birds, darting from one through several to another, and repeating the process!
Castra Attacks!:1d12 ⇒ 6 Funny… I had mistaken your advantage roll as an attack, so already figured damage based on a roll of 6, then realized there was no attack. Botted a 6, so no change to what I was about to post!
Castra’s attack engulfs dozens of crows in flames!
Gunfire scatters the flock (murder, technically)! Panicked caws echo about, and several rainbow colored droppings plop onto the statues of the butchers and the spidermobile. The butchers’ stone heads swell up! Their bodies puff and elongate until one is mostly red and ten feet long—like a giant hot dog!—and the other is yellow. Yellow wraps red like a hot dog bun, and the two twist about to form a fifteen-foot-long dachshund-poodle balloon with stone teeth!
@Betty(d6) & Illuria(d8),
Fort vs. Poodleweiner Bite!
• First to roll [1-2] grabbed and shaken
• Second to roll [1-2] bludgeoned by person being shaken!
-♥️♥️♥️♥️
[3-5] Bounced away by poodleweiner’s nose!
-♥️♥️
[6+] Safe!
The spidermobile grows eight purple balloon legs! It fires its web-gun which now squirts acidic silly-string!
@Castra(d6,d6) & Zindarel(d8),
Reflex to GTFO of the way!!!!
[1-2] You find the string both tickles and burns like hell!
-♥️♥️♥️♥️
[3-5] You find you’re not that ticklish and the string burns like heck.
-♥️♥️
[6+] Safe!
The birds are scattered and very far. You may wish to deal with the more immediate threat: the balloons.
Take Action!
Betty changes several birds to the pigeon channel. These birds are harmless and just poop on the statues.
Damage to enemy, plus if Illuria rolls a one or two defense, damage is halved.
Zindarel stabs the clown and find’s a crow’s head skewered on her blade. Its body and other dead crowd flip-flop and death-spiral to the ground. One leg is pummeled into feathery blood-blobs by three burly statues. When Castra strikes the other leg, it freezes from foot to knee—an explosion blows the entire leg off—red and blue lightning dances about the entire giant clown! Dead crows fly out by the dozens, sizzling and bursting like a grotesque fireworks show!
Betty’s remote causes several blue balloons to fly up out of the clown’s shirt pocket.
If she focuses on certain balloons, she can listen to music, catch a movie, or learn something!
A black balloon marked (¡) simply explodes an blows the clown’s face off.
His birds separate and attack! There are too many, but Illuria’s butcher statues form a wall with the spider-mobile!
Betty d6, the rest d8!
(Cassie, roll defense twice!)
[1-2] Birds hurt! -♥️♥️♥️♥️
[3-5] -♥️ as most birds smack into statues trying to get to you! (Enemy also takes damage!)
[6+] Safe!
Zindarel has little trouble kicking the birds as they whizz by. Perhaps being smaller than a bird makes it relatively easier to hit—the human-sized swordswomen hit very few birds. Betty’s remote impairs the birds’ vision, causing some to veer off course and shatter their skulls against animate statues of butchers and bikers.
The birds swirl about,
Twirl about,
Whirl about
The girls
The birds-a-plenty
Form a clown twenty
Feet tall, he towers!
He holds a bouquet of flowers
—Squirting flowers
That spray acid showers!
@Fort saves!
[1-2] Aaah, it burns! –♥️♥️♥️♥️
[3+] Let your smile be your umbrella?
On the other side of the bridge, you see an unnatural fog. Six gravestones protrude from waves of whitened air, which read Here lies:
Birthday Boy, dear friend and great co-boss
Kurtis Blow, good for a laugh and a half
Dimpled Chad, I can’t stay mad at you, cherry-cheeks ^^;
Mister Tea, but I CAN stay mad at you—burn in hell, you whistling putz!
Vinnie Trillo, your voice is recorded so it’s almost like you’re not dead, but you are, so that sucks
What’s-His-Face, sorry I forgot your name… it just happens when you got a brain made of three crows
@everyone, will saves!
• [1-2] You’re so distracted you get caught off guard!
• [3+] You’re not thrown off by the weird tombstones, even if you did read them all!
Thousands of crows caw noisily! They swoop at you in a razor beak frenzy!
@Those who made their will save:
• Take action to retaliate!
_____
@Those who failed their will save:
• Roll a d8 to defend in whatever way you can!
[1-2] ♥️♥️♥️♥️ damage!
[3-5] ♥️♥️ damage
[6+] safe!
(No further action yet.)
Emi-Na dances away from the splashing acid with uncanny grace!
The wizards are inspired to help finish the one-armed minions. Donny quips, “You guys are dead in the water” as he casts Tidal Wave.”[/b] Other Jeff says to a seemingly demoralized zombie, “Your revolution is over, Mr. Zombarian. Condolences.” He buries the creature up to its neck in sand.
KO▬▬▬
Randy not only stops the earth from swallowing Walter—he slams it shut with such force, two of the minions surrounding Badia topple over the cliff’s edge! He then uses a strip of earth to strike again! (@Randy, the nat.20 from the defense earned you two kills. But I still need a roll for the attack. I did say only a 3 would hit and… Randy’s atk:1d20 ⇒ 3 …there’s a 3. Dead then!)
Walter runs up alongside Badia, agreeably replying, “Damn good fight, lady! An honor and a privilege to fight at your side.”
Apparently his idea of honor involves biting a zombie’s ear off and spitting it high into the air. Aside from Walter’s foe, only three zombarians remain.
And those three see they cannot get through Emi’s barrier. So they attack the source! They point their fists at Emi—and the fists launch straight at her! They expand in flight—and as they strike the barrier of swirling sand, they burst into a splash of acid!
Emi, get outta the way by rolling a d12 Reflex Save!
8+:
Your luck hasn’t run out yet! (Donny might survive this fight!) You expect that they can only pull this Hand Cannon stunt twice. And that the next attack will be easier to dodge if there are less left alive to launch their fists at you. Take out as many as you can!
7 or Less:
You lose ♥️♥️ and wizards get hurt! Don’t let the bad guys get away with that!
KO▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
The whirling sandstorm proves to be extremely powerful! Zombies charge the source: Emi-Na!
Emi, roll a d20 Will Save because these f@&#ers are scary!
8+:
The whirling sand holds! You can keep it going AND attack!
7 or Less:
Zombarians get through. You lose ♥️, and some Wizards will get hurt too. You still get to attack!
Randy could help keep the wall up… but there is another threat! From behind, the earth is beginning to split under Walter’s feet! Oh, and the cracks are forming straight at Randy too!
Randy, roll a d20 vs. Magic to save yourself and others! (Or a d12 to jump out of the way and only save yourself!)
7+:
You are unharmed! You don’t know who made the earth split, but who cares? There are still zombies to kill!
6 or Less:
Jagged rocks pierce your technicolor dreamcoat! You lose ♥️♥️! Bright side: you can use the jagged rocks to attack! (Rolling a 3+ will get you at least one kill with this round’s Earth Magic attack.)
Badia is surrounded from all sides. Good thing she has a lot of space to dodge up!
Badia, roll a d20 Reflex Save to avoid multiple stab wounds!
9+:
You dodge! (19+, you can opt to narrate a defensive move that successfully makes two enemies kill each other.) Land in a more advantageous position and attack!
8 or Less:
You get stabbed a lot and lose ♥️♥️. You’re not gonna take that s~#~. Hit back!
KO▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
Badia rushes at the enemy! He’s right there at the edge—it would be almost too easy to knock him off! But… all the axe does is shave the zombarian’s head! Fungus flies everywhere as the enemy wraps Badia in greasy tendrils!
Badia, you’re stronger than this musclebound mook! Roll a d20 to outmuscle him!
6+:
You fling him off the cliff. You get to attack someone else! So roll another d20 to do that!
5 or Less:
Your arms are pinned your sides! The tendrils are crushing you! It’s not until you feel the pain that you manage to bust free! Your arms hurt like hell… but you do have that axe…
You lose a ♥️ for failing what was effectively a defense roll. You can still attack, so go ahead an roll a second d20.
Emi-Na sends a wave of sand straight at the enemy. The one with the periscope eye is rendered blind! Three others slip in the sand and grab the cliff’s edge. Well… two of them do. The chunky thump, thump, splat sounds suggest at least one of the men will not come back up!
About a dozen men rush Emi, Randy and the Wizards, while a couple others slowly approach Badia.
Emi-Na & Randy, you can get another attack in before the enemy is close enough to hit you! Roll a d20 to attack! Let me know your goal in regard to defending yourself, other PCs or NPCs.
The drumming stops, and is replaced by a new sound. A wet, sticky, spidery sound rising from the steaming depths of the chasm.
Slimy tendrils of flesh grab the cliff’s edge, and at once, over a dozen human-ish forms volley up onto the plateau.
The men are all broken in some way. Broken ends of limbs are replaced with worming tendrils. One man has only half a head—loose plant-like flesh writhes from his slack jaw, and a single eyeball swivels about on erect sinew, like a periscope.
Those missing entire limbs have logs for arms, or walk ten feet tall on three-or-more gangly branches that protrude down from the waist. Many have mushrooms sprouting from their backs, or their scalps, and two have bushy fungal beards.
The stench of odd fungus and dead flesh is overwhelming!
Zombie barbarians reek! Fort saves!
• Badia: d20
• Emi: d20 (it counts as fort vs. poison)
• Randy: d12
7+:
You are unfazed by the smell of death! And these barbarians are dead—make that UN-dead!—zombified by some kind of weird Southtopian fungus. They will kill you.
But now they are conveniently standing at the edge of a cliff. Act first.
Making your fort save means you won initiative!
6 or less:
Gross! You gag on the stench! Pull yourself together! There’s a zombie apocalypse in progress…???
The gagging just slows you by precious seconds, so the enemy will act before you do. You are still at full health. Effectively, you lost initiative.
