Akimi thinks about their life choices that led to this situation and wonders for the 1,000th time why they didn't just stay a sous chef and let that douchebag Gamsey continue stealing their recipes.
They do manage to wiggle the pinky a bit, so that's some--oh, wait. No, that was just a breeze. Nevermind.
Ellen cracks her knuckles. "Well, here we go."
[ooc]Does that hit? :)[/dice]
x2!!!
She frowns quizzically at her knuckles. "I need to get these things checked out."
Akimi doesn't know what this creature is. Looks like a Jackal. But just really big. And normally Jackals DON'T have a third eye.
Prince Ellen drops the Ogre with a well focused judo chop to the neck!
Dev smiles, "Well, I guess you are down to just one pathetic minion. And now you have to face me."
His hands crackle with lightning, zapping both remaining foes.
But his confidence is short lived, the lightning only singes the bugbear.
Their boss chuckles, "Ah, good try. Well. Not really, but good confidence! You would have been a useful ally, if you weren't human."
His gaze stays on Akimi, sapping their will (again -2 will saves for a round). "Don't you think that's funny? Don't you THINK THAT'S FUNNY?!?"
Yellow Jackal
Blue Ogre (-50 HP, dead!)
Jacques (-5 HP)
Red Bugbear (-4 HP, Studied by Akimi)
Dev
Akimi (Will Save)
Ellen (-8 HP)
Bold may act!
Jacques attempts to scare the bugbear who is standing in front of him by wiggling his eyebrows at it.
Jacques stabs at the terrified bugbear with brave Finley.
+
Then Jacques courageously retreats behind his comrades. "Lure them this way, Finley!"
The bugbear seems to be concerned AND pissed at Jacques, both from being stabbed by him and those damn wiggling eyebrows. Why do they wiggle so much! IT'S LIKE GIANT WOOLY WORMS UNDULATING!!!
He growls as the damn kitsune falls back, out of his reach. Glancing at the setup, he moves over next to Ellen and Akimi and hacks at the good Captain.
for
Yellow Jackal
Blue Ogre (-50 HP, dead!)
Jacques (+3 Temp HP, -5 HP)
Red Bugbear (-17 HP, Feared 1, Studied by Akimi)
Dev
Akimi (Will Save before posting actions)
Ellen (-16 HP)
Bold may act!
Ellen snarls as the bugbear's attack grazes her side.
"Let's determine your approximate AC!" she bellows, launching a flurry of knees and elbows in descending order of accuracy.
Ellen learns approximately that the bugbear’s ability to avoid her punches is limited to her first two attacks. Why? Because after that it collapses into a bloody broken pile.
The Jackal frowns, ”I knew they were weak, but not that weak. Maybe you all are just strong? Perhaps Lamashtu has brought me a worthy challenge after all.”
Yellow Jackal
Blue Ogre (-50 HP, dead!)
Jacques (+3 Temp HP, -5 HP)
Red Bugbear (-37 HP, Ded)
Dev
Akimi (Will Save w/ -2 penalty before posting actions)
Ellen (-16 HP, one action)
Bold may act!
"Oh snap, two in a row!" chuckles Ellen, shaking off a bit of blood from her hair. "Four on one and I'm the only one of us that's bleeding!"
She looks manic... until her brain catches up, and she sighs, shaking her head.
"Unfortunately, the only thing we can offer you at this juncture is death." She raises her fists once more, tails cocking out to either side. "Submit, or give this fight everything you have. Either way, all I can wish for you is dignity."
Either Akimi a) is still frozen in place, or b) collapses to the floor laughing hysterically. Either way, life sucks right now.
Akimi falls to the ground, cackling. They are incapable of doing anything but laugh. It isn’t really funny though.
The mighty Dev launches an electrically crackling shuriken at the Jackal. He refocuses his magic while rubbing his hands together confidently, ”That should do that!”
for and
To Dev and everyone’s surprise, the Jackal just barely manages to duck the shuriken as it zips past his head. ”Oooh, that was a close one. Tricky human. Alright, time I focused on you three instead of my new toy. Dodge this!”
He moves into the room, lines up the three of you that are in a nice line and… tendrils of necrotic energy course through the group.
Yellow Jackal
Jacques (+3 Temp HP, -5 HP, Fort Save)
Dev (Fort Save)
Akimi (Prone)
Ellen (-16 HP, Fort Save)
Bold may act!
"Why do I always forget this is a thing that happens sometimes?" grunts the prince as ???? happens to her.
Ellen sprints around, coming up on the far side of the jackal.
Grumbling irritably as they try to catch their breath from laughing, Akimi picks themself up off the floor, plucks up their crossbow, and hustles away for a better shot at the jackal.
◆ Stand.
◆ Pick up crossbow.
◆ Stride 25 ft.
Jacques glares menacingly at the jackal, determined to strike fear in its heart.
Then he darts forward, tumbling towards the monstrous villain!
He pokes the beast with Finley.
Dev seems incredulous that he missed, but bears down and heads on inside to get a cover free angle of attack.
for and
Jacques completely dodges it and even has time to do a backflip to show off. The jackal seems juuust a tiny bit concerned now. Who the hell is this guy? His concern rises significantly when Jacques stabs the crap outta him.
First Mate Dev is so surprised at Jacques backflip that he is hit full force in the neck by the blast of necrotic energy. He clutches up at it as blood pours out. Pissed off and not ready to die yet though, he manages to land his next shuriken into flesh. It sizzles a bit.
Akimi gets up, dusts themselves off and relocates to a better spot.
Ellen's skin burns and crackles from the damage. Blood oozes out of the injury, slowing dripping down her sleeve. She then moves in and manages to land one decent kick against the flat footed flanked foe.
The Jackal seems really really pissed at Jacques. He snaps his jaws at the swashbuckler, then takes him to the ground and attacks again.
for x2 for 18
for
With a mouthful of blood he exclaims, "I will rend your flesh and crunch your bones!"
Yellow Jackal (-46 HP)
Jacques (-33 HP)
Dev (-10 HP, 2 Persistent Bleed)
Akimi
Ellen (-21 HP, 1 Persistent Bleed)
Bold may act!
Akimi mutters a string of swears under their breath in Minkaian, then scurries up to Jacques to slap a poultice on the wound, then scamper away before the jackal can turn his anger on them instead.
♦ Stride 15ft.
♦
♦ Stride 20 ft.
Jacques ducks to the ground to avoid the worst of the jackal's attack and to make it easier for Akimi to reach him, then quickly leaps back to his feat to continue the delightful conversation.
"En Garde, monsewer!"
"Aggh, that smarts," she grimaces at the bleeding wound. Still, her forearms glow, blood and all, and unleashes a series of blows that would probably hit real nasty if more than one of them hit!
Dev repeats!
for and
The captain and the first mate bleed a bit more.
And then Dev’s superior healing factor kicks in and it stops splurting. Ellen’s is more of a drizzle anyway though, she just ignores it.
Dev blasts again, hitting again. The crowd chants ‘MVP MVP’.
Jacques bravely stands and feints to make the Jackal duck, then with no cowardice at all raises his shield! ;)
Akimi moves in and slaps a bandage on Jacques’ arse. A little too hard, probably.
Ellen spins and kicks and punches and spits! One strike lands solidly. The crowd shrugs, it would be a decent set of at bats in baseball, but not that impressive here.
The jackal bites again!
for a miss.
for
Yellow Jackal (-69 HP)
Jacques (-30 HP, Prawn Prone)
Dev (-12 HP)
Akimi
Ellen (-22 HP, 1 Persistent Bleed)
Bold may act!
Akimi grumbles at Ellen's many bleeding wounds and repeats the process, but doesn't move quite as far back this time.
◆ Stride 20 ft.
◆
◆ Stride 15 ft.
Prince Ellen flexes as Akimi tries to bandage her arm, throwing off the bandages.
"I need to stop doing that," she sighs, leaning toward Akimi and relegating one leg to the task of the jackal on the far side.
Ellen knees the Jackal right in his most sensitive spot!
The snout, obviously. If you thought it was something else, obviously you aren't a jackal.
He wipes blood off his face and growls. Seems he isn't far from death, but not there yet.
Ellen bleeds more.
Then it stops. Yay. :P
Yellow Jackal (-97 HP)
Jacques (-30 HP, Prawn Prone)
Dev (-12 HP)
Akimi
Ellen (-23 HP)
Bold may act!
Jacques leaps up and stabs at the jackal, eager to deliver a killing blow!
"Haha, Finley, yes, that is just the way! You are getting the hang of it - I knew that all you needed was a bit of tutoring..."
Then he administers some healing to himself.
The foxes fell the foul fiend! Jacques finishes it off by severing the Jackal’s jugular. Blood sprays as he collapses to the ground dead. The room is silent, save a few gurgling breaths until death and eternal reckoning finally come for the evil foe.
Jacques inserts Finley into the heart of the jackal, allowing his squire to savor the sweet taste of victory!
Akimi puffs out a breath, then sets about tending to the remaining wounds on Ellen and Jacques. "Well I'm definitely worse at killing than at healing, but honestly, I'm okay with that."
They take another ten minutes because why not. It feels like the head honcho of this dump is taken care of, they can take a breather.
"Dammit, Ellen, stop flexing," they grumble as they try to rebandage her bicep again.
"I can't help it! Flexing is part of my meditation!"
To prove her point, she Wholenesses her Body.
"...Now I need to meditate again. One sec."
Six hundred secs later, she rises, good as new, more-or-less.
"Always feels bad killing a well-spoken opponent," she says. "Or really anything that's not undead. How's everyone doing? How's morale?"
Dev glares at Akimi, ”Still bloodied over here. But whatever, I guess I’m not as important as Jacques.”
"Would it help if I flexed at you, bestie?" Ellen asks, doing so regardless.
Akimi snorts. "Oh, don't get your knickers in a twist. I can only tend to two of you at a time and I didn't see a point starting one when the others aren't finished. Now c'mere, ya big baby."
Akimi grumbles under their breath as they set to work on Dev.
There's a trickle of blood from one ear, but otherwise the magus is back in shape. They pat him on the shoulder as they walk away to start looking around the room. "You'll live."
Akimi searches the room and easily discovers the following.
Peering behind the folding screens, the 'heroes' can see a pile of furs on the ground of the eastern part of the dais, while the western screen hides a small cache of bloody clothes. Akimi examines the bloody clothes and finds the torn and bloodstained garments belonging to three Sarenites, sized for a human, a halfling, and a dwarf.
Among the clothes is discovered two potions of healing (lvl 2) and a potion of mending as well as some coin (73g).
Over in the pile of furs is a sun-like wheel thingy. If picked up by Akimi, it feels pleasantly warm. Like a room heated by the midday sun on a spring afternoon. The room fills with an agreeable smokey scent, almost like a really tasty barbeque.
A shelf on the back wall has a small collection of books. They appear to be written in some unknown language. However, thumbing through the first few pages of a couple of them it is quite apparent they are recipe books.
______________________
The rest of the complex is devoid of monsters. Probably fled after you obliterated almost everyone else.
Akimi hands off most of the stuff to the others, but squeals in delight at the discovery of the recipe books. They plop down on the ground and begin to try and suss them out.
Interested in what could be inside, Akimi takes ten to twenty minutes to suss out some of the titles. They are somewhat disturbing.
To Serve Man
Elf Flambe, and other meaty recipes for the scrawny buggers
Halfling Soups, twenty ways to get the most out of a small serving
And so on...
"Hey, Doc, whatcha got?"
Ellen slowly turns white.
"Maybe we burn this."
Akimi feels their stomach turn and drops the book. They don't even hesitate, pulling out flint and tinder and setting the book--and any others containing these atrocities--alight. This is beyond an affront to everything they see cooking as.
Once the book(s) are reduced to ashes, they hug their chest and shudder. "I need a bath. A long bath, hot enough to scald my fur off."
"Maybe a bath with some onions and carrots?"