Dev nods at the young fox as the sticky foe falls, ”Good work kid. You are well in the running for third in command.”
He pulls an axe and chops up at the gargoyle.
for and
Akimi snorts. "Putting me in any position of command is a terrible idea."
"It's either you or Finley," shrugs Ellen.
Jacques’s bolt zips just past the wing of his barely flying foe. Dev swings up and connects! His blade is turned away by the tough skin, but the flame sears right through.
The gargoyle keeps flapping and continues its assault against the magus, obviously focusing on the biggest threat to it. At least so far.
for
Dev doesn’t look good. Not good at all. In fact, he turns white from blood loss and collapses to the floor.
Hero Points: Akimi 1*, Jacques 1*, Ellen 1, Dev 0
Round 5
Akimi (-24 HP, BaMeD Self and Ellen 1hr cd)
Jacques (-8 HP, Finley on the floor west of Ellen, BaMeD Ellen 24 hr cd)
Dev (-44 HP, Dying 1, Unconscious)
Gargoyle (-17 HP, Flying 5ft up)
Round 4
Ellen (-34 HP)
Bitey Box (-71 HP)
Bold May Act! Anything off the main path provides cover and requires twice as much movement, there is a lot of stuff packed in here.
Grumbling under their breath about finding a less-deadly hobby, Akimi loads their crossbow, scampers up onto a box, and assesses their enemy. The membrane at the root of the wing looks like it has lots of veins in it...
♦ Reload.
♦ Stride 5 ft.
◇
♦
Jacques darts over to the remnants of the bitey box, drops his hand crossbow, and retrieves Finley. "Come now my squire, that is quite enough lolly-gagging from you - to work!" Then he tumbles towards the gargoyle.
Jacques attempts his tumbling routine again...
... and again!
... in desperation he leaps up towards the hovering creature. "Let me show you what I learned at the circus, damn you!"
Ellen steps closer to the garg.
"Sometimes it feels like fighting goes on forever," she gripes, throwing a pair of punches that don't seem to find any raction against an airborne foe...
x2
...and then, realizing her shortness is negatively affecting her reach, leaps up into a dramatic spinning backflip kick and glowing gold, briefly.
"TENSENRIN!!"
Ellen seems like she is just primed to fail, but her last strike slams hard into the creature's crotch. A being made mostly of stone still has to reproduce somehow and that is definitely a vulnerable area (actually barely a crit, but it was!).
Clutching at itself it barely registers Akimi drawing down on it. The bolt misses the wing artery but ends up sticking out of its chest. The gargoyle collapses to the ground (no crit, but just enough damage).
Jacques dances about a bit before realizing that his bestest follower Dervish is bleeding out.
Well, maybe not bleeding out. But certainly unconscious.
Hero Points: Akimi 1*, Jacques 1*, Ellen 2*, Dev 0
Akimi (-24 HP, BaMeD Self and Ellen 1hr cd)
Jacques (-8 HP, BaMeD Ellen 24 hr cd)
Dev (-44 HP, Wounded 1, Unconscious)
Ellen (-34 HP)
Akimi plops down next to Dev and points at the captain. "You. Butt. Here. Now."
They pull out their healer's tools and begin treating both of them in earnest.
Seeing both their patients are still bleeding profusely, they take another 20 minutes to get them both to fighting fit.
Once that's done, they take a moment to patch themself up too, plus one more go at Dev to make sure he's good.
Ellen limps over. "See, now I'm torn about the backflip. On the one hand, it worked. On the other hand, I didn't notice poor Dev got garged. You doin' okay, Deverino?" she asks as the man blinks awake.
"You're a lifesaver, 'Kimi. I wish it was literal a little less often, but - "
And then she compares the careful medical applications to some less-appropriate activities.
"Should've just stayed a baker," they grumble at the captain, but there's a bit of a gleam in their eye to show they're not entirely serious.
Also, having been heavily trained in the fine art of observation, they manage to catch the gleam in Ellen's eye. They turn away before they start panting again. She keeps up and I'm gonna sweat all my fur into mats, they think with forced irritation. They almost open a stitch because they stopped paying attention to what they're doing, only returning to the present when they feel the sharp sensation of pulling flesh and force themself out of their reverie. Quit pouncing the snow, dingus. Pay attention so you can all get out of here alive, then worry about extracurriculars.
"I don't think you're ready to put a bun in any ovens just yet," Ellen grins, then hisses through her teeth as Akimi heals her a little more. "There we go. That's not goin' anywhere. Maybe ever."
She rises from the overturned whatever-it-used-to-be and carefully avoids rotating her cuff too much for fear of pulling the threads out of it. Her ambient magics should help seal the deal - it would be a shame to undo the good doctor's work the instant she threw another punch.
"Honestly, I'm considering figuring out how to make camp and hunkering down for a night . Problem is, I don't really want to leave here through that horrible pain portal again or whatever."
Akimi begins healing everyone and Jacques searches through junk after patching his own minor wounds.
He finds a large wooden lockbox carved with elven runes worth 10 gp to a collector.
While it appears empty, Akimi thinks the dimensions are off and quickly discovers the lockbox’s false bottom. The box contains a pair of items stolen by the warlord from a traveling elf diplomat a long time ago: a pair of boots of elvenkind and an emerald grasshopper.
The emerald grasshopper is a talisman that someone with expert proficiency in Athletics can attach to their armor (I don’t think anyone has this). When that person makes a High Jump, they can activate the talisman to try and jump higher. On a successful check, they Leap up to 50 feet vertically and up to 10 feet horizontally (or up to 75 feet vertically and 20 feet horizontally on a critical success). The talisman is worth 30 gp.
An adventuring pirate can don boots of elvenkind during their daily preparations to gain a +1 item bonus to Acrobatics checks. Once per hour, they can ignore difficult terrain until the end of their turn. These boots are worth 145 gp.
Ellen "oooh"s and affixes the grasshopper to her cloak as a brooch.
Akimi sniffs at the boots. "Not my style. Too loud." They turn around and call, "Hey Jacques! Check out these very fine boots. They look tailor-made for you!"
At the captain's request for sleep, they scratch their muzzle thoughtfully. "I mean, you're the captain, you call it. But I dunno how much sleep I'm gonna be able to get in this place. I think we've explored most of it, but that doesn't mean it's empty."
They shrug as they reload their crossbow and check the trigger mechanism. "But it's not like we can't set a watch." They shrug. "Up to you, boss."
Now they wish they'd brought a tent. For... sleeping in. Privately.
Yep.
Jacques patches up his own wounds while Akimi works on the others and then tries on the nifty boots, which seem to fit him perfectly!
He pats the magus on the shoulder. "Good job, Dave! You are really getting the hang of teamwork!"
He agrees that after all their hard work it might be a good spot for a bit of a nap, though after Finley's recent derelictions of duty he insists on sharing a watch with the sword.
The group agrees to snuggle down for the night. Tons of junk in this room and a bit of thievery from Dev make it a pretty secure place to den up. Or at least secure enough to give everyone some warning if enemies come.
A watch is set and followed. No one has any tents, but a few tarps and cloth are found in the room. Using those, an almost private fort or two can be made by stringing them over the broken furniture.
Sleep comes decently, if you have a bedroll. Otherwise it isn’t very comfy.
No attacks arrive overnight and the next day begins.
Everyone wakes up happy and rested. The door to the north seems to be the logical progression.
At the northeast corner of this odd-shaped room, a wooden barrier only a few inches tall keeps a large puddle of muck from spreading. Next to that, a large bedroll with frayed edge has been laid out on the floor. A pile of clothes and other personal possessions sit near the bedroll. Sputtering torches hang from the walls near the doors leading west and south. The unmistakable odor of manure and fresh mud lingers in the air.
There are no enemies in the room, perhaps they went out on an early morning hunting trip? No matter. A sturdy shield (minor) leans up against the eastern wall near a bedroll.
Akimi takes their time, studying the muck, the personal effects, and the door to the west. On the door, they specifically look for traps and listen for signs of life on the other side.
Ellen... helps? If she can?
"Smells like a farm," she says, though it's hard to tell if she's griping or not.
Akimi is quite sure two creatures live in this room. A large humanoid and a boar. It’s easy to tell from the muck and detritus that a boar lives there, plus the tusk marks on the furniture help. They didn’t really have to dig through the pile of s@!@ to figure out its last meal, but the look Jacques gave while it was done was priceless.
The humanoid is tougher to suss, but if they had to guess, Akimi would put a small wager on troll or giant. Maybe even a giant troll?
No sounds of life are heard while listening at the door.
Akimi does their best not to touch the feces, but they do make a show of it just to see the look on Jacques' face.
At the door, they lean back from it and shrug at the rest of the group. "I don't hear anything, but this place has done a number on my senses so be careful."
They step aside so the captain or Jacques can step through first.
Both Ellen and Jacques charge the door, squirming to get through first. It's almost comical how they struggle like toddlers trying to share a single poptart. Eventually the Captain pulls rank, gets the door open and steps through first.
A raised dais occupies the northern end of this room, on which a rough-hewn altar of stone appears stained with blood and other liquids. A pair of wooden folding screens stand to either side of the altar, each marked with a painted symbol of a three-eyed jackal. The wall behind the altar has the same icon crudely scrawled on it in red paint. At the edge of the dais, two lit braziers cast fitful light throughout the room. The rest of the chamber looks bare, except for a few tattered mats of varying sizes arranged on the floor in rows. Doors to the east and west provide exits.
A Bugbear and an Ogre are standing at the Alter. The Bugbear turns and says with a chuckle, "It's about time."
Akimi shrugs uncomfortably, trying hard not to glance at the folding screens; there's a boar somewhere that's unaccounted for, and those would be good hiding spots. "Sorry. Did we interrupt your weekend plans? Couldn't find enough virgins to sacrifice on your blood altar? Not bad digs though, despite all the gore. Sturdy foundations."
They lean in to Ellen and mutter quietly, "Keep 'em talking."
They keep their eyes peeled, but they also hope the bugbear keeps running their mouth. Just a few more moments, they think to themself.
The bugbear looks Akimi up and down as though inspecting a nice cut of meat at the butcher, "Ain't no need for virgins, any will do to sate me. Why don't ya step over and give me a go? It may not be your best, but it'll definitely be your last!"
He starts cackling. It was quite funny.
Seconds tick very slowly.
"Aw, man, dude," Ellen says, clicking her tongue. "You can do better than that, though? Like, I don't mean to just waltz in here and tell you how to live your life, but 'I'm the last you're ever gonna get and honestly it's gonna be, like, mid' can't be what you're settling for. Are you happy like this? Don't you want to - I don't know, learn something, get good at something? Find someone who smiles when they see you, maybe? Like, I'm just spitballing here, but what are you into besides rape and murder?"
He feigns pain, "What? Rape and Murder? You wound me my dear. I would neeeeever."
Akimi thinks it will be easy to keep this guy talking, he seems to love the sound of his own voice.
"See, I am already great at sarcasm too. Anyway, if you want to watch, you gotta pa..."
A richly timbral voice comes from behind one of the folding screens. “Rhunk, how many times have I told you not to lean on the altar? And in front of guests, no less. Shame, shame.” A large jackal pads out into view, his head held high. Reddish stripes run across his dark brown fur, slaver drips from his mouth, and his pointed ears seem overlarge. A third eye, which opens lazily every so often as he talks, sits at the center of the jackal’s forehead.
The bugbear slinks off to the corner of the room as it definitely appears the jackal is actually in charge.
Akimi nods sagely. This actually makes more sense. The bugbear is way too much of a blowhard to be able to actually run anything. "It really is hard to find cronies with manners. Speak of which, where are mine? I'm Miyazaki Akimi, chef detective." They bow with a little flourish. They're not usually one for theatrics, but hells. Couldn't hurt, right? Maybe this creature will be amused enough to not eat the quartet for another half-minute or so. Akimi's still taking in the little details. They're close now...
They could switch off and study the jackal, they suppose, but they decide to stay the course, watching the bugbear from the corner of their eye. Favored leg, handedness, any minute muscular tics or tells. Anything could be the difference between victory and death.
"I am called Ellen," says Prince Ellen of House Foxpaw, Duchess of Something and Duke of Something Else. "A pleasure to meet you."
He takes a big sniff in your direction and shows a long muzzle full of teeth in a smile-like manner.
"Ah, courtesy. A rare sight towards monsters. Most just attack on sight."
He glances at your non-human features, "Perhaps you all have some experience with what that may feel like? I am Mwibah, chosen of Lamashtu. Though I began life as a simple beast, she blessed me with intelligence and incomparable powers to gather her other children here."
Jacques joins the conversation. "And I am Jacques, father of spiders, renowned throughout the lands for my swordsmanship and more, but then I'm sure you already knew that. This - " here he holds Finley aloft - "is Finley, my faithful squire, to whom I am entrusting all the most important secrets of being a hero."
Akimi shrugs a little uncomfortably at Mwibah's statement. "I wouldn't presume to think our situations are the same. Kitsune are... well, not a common sight where I'm from, but moreso than one such as yourself at any rate. The most I've ever gotten was a few curious stares. So... I gotta ask. Why is it that you're here, exactly? What do you get out of being holed up here, aside from prime real estate?"
This one isn't even a filler question--they're genuinely curious. Why is Mwibah here, in this random dungeon in the middle of nowhere? How did a map to this location, marked as the place of "Mwibah's treasure," even get into the world in the hyena's lifetime? Usually that kind of thing happens long after the treasure owner is dead. They don't actually expect much of a response, at least not one they would trust, but even if the creature lies, their answer could tell Akimi a lot.
He warms up even more to the conversation, ”This place is simply a home base. Another of Lamashtu’s boons. Likely once a feeble attempt of some petty fool to gather power, from what I can tell. It was left abandoned for me to find and dedicate to the Mother of Monsters. Though we will eventually range far from here in our conquests, I imagine this place will eventually become a site of unholy pilgrimage. The Scar! Where it all began!”
He continues, ”As to what is beginning here, it is simple, really. The people out there running the world have persecuted and slaughtered my kind for far too long. We will overrun the cities and destroy their cultures. Only we will remain to rule over Golarion. This could be a great opportunity for folk like yourselves to carve out a spot in that world. No more hiding your forms, no more distrustful looks, the ability to be who you are.”
Jacques listens to the jackal with interest and no small amount of scoffing. "Well, well, will wonders never cease! A hyena that that wants us to join us in his dastardly plans for world domination! D'ye hear that, Finley? Jest think of the ignominy that would greet us if we was to wind up the henchmen o' this here Lord High Hyena - " he turns back to the jackal for a moment - "What'd ye say yer name was agin?" Without waiting for an answer, Jacques continues, "Now see here, pup, we already has the ability to be what we is, which is heroes. Now you just tell me: how many hero stories do you know what end with the heroes as lackeys o' the lackey o' the mother of monsters? Why even ole Doov over here ain't gonna fall fer that rigmarole! No, no, pup, it's clear ye ain't properly heard o' the Father of Spiders, nor the rest of our merry band, or ye'd be showing a mite more respeck, I'm thinking!"
"If you'll excuse him; he's sort of the Rhunk of our group," Ellen says with a wry smile.
At Ellen's comment he very briefly glances at Rhunk and then turns back to her, "Ah yes, consider your companion ignored in this conversation. So are you interested or a fool like him with delusions of grandeur? The world is not so clear cut as 'heroes vs. villains'."
Ellen folds her arms, deep in thought.
"I agree that monstrous folks reach more persecution than they deserve; it's true among even humanoids of different types," she says. "But I have heard it said that Lamashtu's aims are not of equality but of conquest. Is that untrue?"
He shrugs, "Equality for monsters. Not so much for anyone else. How is that different than just allowing the opposite?"
Akimi sighs and rolls their eyes. Gods, every other dimwit on Golarion has aspirations of world domination. Must be something in the water, they think.
"Yeah, yeah, I get it. 'The world hurt me so I'm gonna hurt the world.' Cap'n's right, plenty of non-humanoids get the short shrift. But I don't hide what I am--can't, point of fact. Either I'm a fox on four legs or a fox on two, I don't have a tailless form. Not that I'd hide it if I could. I'm proud of where I came from. You know what else I'm proud of?"
They check their crossbow to make sure it's loaded, then heft it threateningly into both hands. "My human father who saved my life and raised me. So allow me to make you a counter-offer."
They point the crossbow at the hyena. "Eat bolt, douchebag."
With the bolt flying towards the Evil three eyed Jackal, everyone tries to quickly react!
Mwibah snorts, "I like your passion little one! You will make a good sacrifice to Lamashtu." His third eye flashes open and stares intently at Akimi, boring into their soul. It then speaks words that seems to slooowly drip out of its mouth, at least to the target, "Eaaaasy there. You will spooooil the meat if you fight tooooo hard."
The Ogre rushes forwards and swings at Ellen, interposing itself between her and Mwibah.
for
Jackal
Ogre
Jacques
Bugbear (Studied by Akimi)
Dev
Akimi (Attack Roll to Resolve, -2 Will Save, Will Save to Make)
Ellen (-8 HP)
Bold may act!
Ellen huffs as she shrugs an axe wound into her least favorite shoulder and watches the other sail wide--clearly he had expected her to dodge?
"You know that thing in plays where the villain starts making a lot of sense and then just boils an orphanage to make it clear he's the bad guy?" She flexes, and the axe pops back out. "I'm just saying, you had me in the first half, I'm not gonna lie."
The bugbear snorts, ”Orphans aren’t very tender, you have to slow roast them.”
The bolt sails well wide of the target. Maybe they should have talked this out a bit more to get a better surprise attack in. And then the magic hits their body, freezing them in place.
Akimi seems as though their motor impulses are blocked before they can leave their mind, freezing them in place. It's gotta be very frustrating!
Jacques is up!
Jacques darts forward and attempts to tumble through Blue.
+
Jacques panaches his way to victory! Or at east a really sneaky deft little dart and stab. The Ogre is not impressed. Well, maybe it is impressed with the move, but not with being stabbed. It definitely hit a vital organ too. (Crit)
The bugbear moves up into flanking and tries to repay the favor, stabbing t he pointy end of his longsword as Jacques!
for
For one hit and one miss, durn!
Yellow Jackal
Blue Ogre (-26 HP)
Jacques (-5 HP)
Red Bugbear (Studied by Akimi)
Dev
Akimi (Paralyzed 1 rd)
Ellen (-8 HP)
Bold may act!
When the bugbear misses with its second strike, Jacques seizes the chance to deliver an opportune riposte!
But, alas, he is too off balance and accomplishes nothing.