Poor Silver and Crimsi struggle with a logjam at the cavern's door while Mitzi hangs back and Siathorn advances just far enough to fling a bit of fire at the bureau - which sails between Grenek and Silver and leaves a small scorched spot in the wood!
The bureau clatters and rattles menacingly before one of its remaining drawers whips free just long enough to slam...
...Grenek! Or rather, the bureau attempts to slam into him but misses!
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Pizazz
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Bureau
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Grenek
Chuffy
Crimsi
Silver
Siathorn & Mitzi
Active Conditions: Inspire Courage (+1 Hit/Damage)
Everyone is UP!
"Goblins quick and goblins burn.
When will Crims get a turn?" wonders Pizazz as the helmeted hero forces his own way into the room.
The battle rages on...or rather, it would have if it weren't for Grenek's mastery of his craft! There must surely be a rift in space and time in this tiny dwelling because for a moment you glimpsed a future where this animated bureau was much more powerful and sturdy than any piece of furniture, animated or not, had any right to be. Then time snaps back into its proper place and the bureau lies destroyed on the floor. As it should be.
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As you stand and savor your victory over the rambunctious furniture, the door in the southern wall slowly opens and you see what appears to be a strange little flying, cat-sized...longshanks-thing. It doesn't really look like an actual people but it has a vaguely longshanks-esque form with wings, pointy ears, and pointy teeth. Aside from the paintbrush it holds in one hand it appears to be unarmed and unarmored.
After staring at you all for a moment it turns to the wooden door and begins painting words upon it.
Hello. Who are you?
"I" says Pizazz standing forward and straightening his bucket.
"Am.... PIZAZZ!"
He offers a small bow.
"And who are you?"
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I am one of the greatest goblins here on this Earth.
The little creature considers your words and then writes an answer on the door:
Hello Pizazz and Great Goblin. Master named me Wit. Have you seen Master? Master left many hours ago to gather fungus and never came back. Master still lives because I hear Master's voice in my mind. 'Kill the blasted chicken'. Many times each day the Master tells me to 'kill the blasted chicken' but I don't know what Master means. So I stayed here.
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"Where, Wit, does Master go to gather fungus?" asks Pizazz, his beady eyes poking out from under the bucket.
"Some Fungus is good to eat..." he points out knowingly to the other goblins.
Chuffy ignores the creature and opens the door on the south.
"Hello Wit. I am Siathorn," she says. "Where is fungus?"
Deciding to let her more talkative companions handle Wit, Chuffy moves forward and investigates beyond the southern door. Wit doesn't seem inclined to stop her and even flutters out of the way to allow her to pass through. Peering through the door Chuffy can see that this chamber seems to have been used as a supply room. There are a few crates packed with various bottles and vials while others hold carefully-labeled bags with tags such as 'eye of newt' and 'bat guano'. A barrel along the wall contains relatively fresh water and some foodstuffs - most notably mushrooms - can be seen along the shelves that line the chamber.
You spot where some rubble seems to have been cleared away along the eastern wall. Looking closer you can see a very narrow tunnel that leads away into the darkness.
Meanwhile, Wit continues to do what it can to answer the questions of the inquisitive goblins. It's a bit slow since you have to wait for Wit to write out each response but at least the creature seems willing to 'converse' rather than try to eat or wallop anyone.
"Where, Wit, does Master go to gather fungus?"
"Where is fungus?"
Master left out front door to get fungus. North passage, I think. Only went with Master to get fungus once.
"Wit, Thats a funny name. Did he make the deadly dresser?" Crimsi says pointing at the now pile of lumber. "Can make a less attacky one for me. It would be nice to have it carry my stuff while I'm out heroing."
"By the way what are you"
Master makes all sorts of things. Master moved here to work and then made me so I could help. Master made the dresser too, to guard against intruders. I'm sorry that I couldn't warn you, even though you're technically intruders. You seem helpful.
Wit pauses for a moment to dip its paintbrush again and then finishes replying to Crimsi's numerous inquiries.
Master called me 'homunculus' once, before naming me. So maybe 'homunculus' is what I am. Wit is who I am. If you find Master and help Master, Master might make a dresser for you. Master will have to make another one anyway since you broke the other one.
Pizazz listens carefully, wondering if there is a song in this story. But his nose also knows when there is food to be found and he quickly peers after Chuffy.
"Ohhh eye of newt. Bet that tastes great!" However optimistic he is, the goblin does show a small degree of caution. Peering out from under his bucket he mutters.
"обнаружить магию"
Before looking around the room, and the storeroom in some more detail.
"Look! A tunnel! I wonder if he keeps the best food down there." It would seem that rescuing longshanks can't keep brain-space with prospects of food.
Grenek frowns and opens his mouth to object but then has a realization. These people also longshanks!
"Help longshanks. Help tribe." His voice a confused mixture of relief and puzzlement.
Chuffy returns back. "TUNEL TUNEL, I find TUNEL! Follow me!"
"But tiny, flying longshanks said wizard went north?" Siathorn tries to correct Chuffy. "Must be different north because north we came had nasty choking meanie. It dead now."
When Chuffy hollers back about the presence of another secret tunnel, Wit nods and writes, 'Master sometimes went out the back way too. Not a lot, though. Very tight squeeze for someone Master's size.'
Just to make sure that there aren't any items of interest inside the storeroom Pizazz does a quick sweep with Detect Magic but surprisingly doesn't pick up anything that reads as magical. Perhaps the storeroom really is just a storeroom? There also doesn't seem to be anything else of interest in the actual 'dwelling' part of this shelter, but given that the caves seem a bit dangerous it's possible that Wit's Master took anything of use with them when they left to go foraging.
Though there's some debate on what 'north' really means and whether the group should go back to the intersection they came from or explore this new secret tunnel, Chuffy seems insistent that the tunnel is the way to go. Wit waves goodbye as the brave goblin leads the rest of you forward into the very small tunnel in the wall - so small in fact that it hampers your movements. You'd estimate that a longshanks would have an even harder time passing through here and that anything bigger wouldn't fit at all.
After squeezing and shuffling along for at least a 100 ft. or more, the tunnel finally exits into another tunnel that's got a little more breathing room. It curves away out of sight in two directions, north and back to the west...
Chuffy exits the tunnel, looks around and moves to the north.
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"Hurry up. Hurry up. Some of us are still stuck back here. Maybe I shouldn't have had those extra mushrooms.." sings Pizazz.
"Left is dark and creepy. Choaky twith big hand.
Right has air that's fresh, and chance to meet a band!"
He looks left, wondering out loud "Maybe that would have been quicker. Some head onward. Quick, quick. Lunch waits. And Pizazz will sing to help food go down even better!"
Chuffy bravely continues to lead the group north though the rest of the group likely isn't too concerned with the specific direction, just so long as they can get out of the cramped, crowded passage. Surely the smells leaking out of Pizazz's backside are illegal - and if they aren't, they should be!
Continuing north, the passageway turns sharply and another chamber can be seen just ahead. On the northern end of the room the ceiling has partially collapsed, and a mound of soil rests in the rubble pile beneath. Large white mushrooms the size of, well...a goblin's head, grow from the soil, their surfaces wrinkled and reminiscent of a brain.
In spite of their strange appearance, these mushrooms are just a variety of giant puffball. And they're edible, too!
Two passages lead out of this chamber, one to the north and one to the northeast.
"Eat, eat, eat!" Chuffy starts to eat mushroom.
When he is done he enters right passageway.
”Should take for Crookedtoes!” Siathorn harvests the mushrooms while Chuffy dines.
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As Chuffy starts into the mushrooms, Pizazz rushes ahead to join him.
"Pizazz loves mushroom.s!" he says as he thrusts handfulls into his suddenly dangerously large mouth.
"Ohh, why did the pixie move to a new home?" he asks in between mouthfuls.
"Because the old one didn't have mush-room!"
He chocks for a moment on a mushroom as he laughs hard at his own joke.
Chuffy and Pizazz take the opportunity to have a mushroom snack while Siathorn is more pragmatic and makes sure to harvest some to take back to the tribe later on. The mushrooms are quite savory and really hit the spot, though Pizazz - and by extension the rest of you - might regret the indulgence later on after they've had some time to digest.
And amazingly, this chamber is blessedly quiet and free of angry monsters with grabby hands and unruly bits of furniture. There's been no sign of Wit's longshank master yet but it's definitely been nice to have a few moments where things aren't attempting to eat or pummel you.
Once snack time is over, Chuffy decides to head down the right passage that leads away to the northeast. You don't have to proceed very far before you begin to see light from up ahead - daylight. It looks like this passage is the one that will lead you outside, presumably putting you on the other side of the mountain and into the valley where the longshank knights are said to be holed up.
Silver looks at the north passage.
Pizazz burps happily, and then farts even more happily.
"Ahh, music to my ears... and nose!" he laughs.
"Time for find longshanks. " he adds, energised by the snack.
He heads off to the entrance and looks out over the valley.
"Me want you to look at other rooms, might find more mushrooms?"
"No time," Siathorn says. "Not dead dead army on the move! Need longshanks in a hurry."
Although the group seems to be in agreement to hurry onward and out of the caverns Silver does take the time to go have a quick peek into the other passage that leads off from the mushroom chamber. The passage gives way to a small natural cavern with multicolored fluted stalactites clinging to the ceiling. To the north, where the chamber narrows, a nearly five-foot-wide hole descends into the depths.
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Reasoning that you might end up passing back through the tunnels again, the group then decides to press onward into the valley beyond. The tunnel exits the surface on the wall of a lightly wooded, V-shaped valley that runs north to south, more or less. The northern end terminates where the surrounding hills meet, while the southern end opens onto broad plains.
Not far to the southeast from the tunnel entrance stands a wall of sharpened wooden poles. Within this roughly made palisade many longshanks in shiny armor move about, some atop ferocious-looking horses. The sounds of metal being worked and the smells of cooking fires are noticeable even from this distance, which you'd guess is about 300 feet.
As she looks around, Crimsi thankfully doesn't spot any immediate dangers in the vicinity and so beckons the rest of you to join her outside.
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Pizazz straightens his helmet, looking a little apprehensively at the rather large number of Heavily Armed longshanks. Still, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Like an arrow between the eyes...
Clearing his throat, Pizazz blows loudly on his whistle for attention. Then, taking it out of his mouth he clears his throat.
"Hello Longshanks!" he calls out, in as friendly a fashion as a goblin really can.
"I have some good news for you. And some bad news!"
Hmm, that didn't come out as well as it might have.
"The bad news is there is a very large number of dead creatures heading this way. A very large number. You have large number too, but they have much larger numbers. And they are DEAD already. Dead is bad."
Having made this clear, he thinks for a moment, trying to regain his train of thought. As he does so the bucket falls down over his face, and the next few words are muffled. Finally, straightening he says.
"But we have good news for you too! We know secret way out of here that you can use to escape!"
"Come quickly. Quickly. And no eating the mushroom.s"
I wonder if longshanks in big armor will fit down narrow passage. Oh well. Hopefully the other passage meets up. Oopse, should have checked that first I guess. Too late now.
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Siathorn pulls out the wooden carving and chases after Pizazz. "Wait! Wait, Pizazz! We supposed to show carving so longshanks know we friendly goblins!"
Now that the group has found the longshank knights Pizazz decides to take the initiative, blowing loudly on his whistle to get everyone's attention. From within the camp you can hear several startled exclamations and curses and the head of every single knight that you can see from your position on the hill - which are several, likely pulling duty as sentries - swivel in the group's general direction. There's a pause after Pizazz gives his impromptu speech and a voice calls back, wary, but without any overt hostility.
"Angels in the guise of goblins, come to be our salvation? Approach the gate so that we may get a better look at you! But beware - no tricks or other treachery!"
The gate in question appears to be the one entry to the longshanks camp, situated at the southern end of the palisade. Crude watch platforms have been erected and at least a dozen longshanks stand watch here, peering intently up at the hillside that you're standing on.
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Pizazz grabs the statue and holds it in front of him like a tailsman.
"No, no. Not angels. Goblins. With the voice of angels to be fair. yes, yes. Pizazz of the angelic voice.".
The said goblin straightens up, the bucket on the top of his head putting an unexpected weight on his neck and tipping his whole head backwards. For a moment Pizazz's eyes bulge out of his head as the bucket threatens to choke him. However after a heroic wresting effort, the bucket is put back into place, perched on top of his head.
"Ah hem." he says, clearing his throat as he approaches the gate.
"This goblin and his heavenly voice
has come to offer 'shanks a choice.
to fight the dead or run away
decision to be made this day."
Pretty happy with his effort he stands proudly in front of the gates waiting for an answer.
We in the search of food, our tribe hungry. Also an army of something is headed along the way.
"No tricks," Siathorn says. "Big army of not-dead dead things head this way. Crookedtoe tribe seeks help from longshanks in shiny armor and fearsome horses to help us defend tribe."
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Grenek nods emphatically. "Help longshanks. Help tribe."
As you draw close to the gate you're able to get a better look at the longshank knights, many of whom regard you with looks that are more wary - and even curious - than hostile. And in a way, it makes sense. Given what Chief Velkik had said about the knights seemingly being cornered here in the valley you imagine that they're likely more worried about the undead hordes than goblins right now.
But even in dire circumstances, there's room for levity. A few of the knights crack small smiles as they take in the sight of Pizazz and his bucket helm and one or two even chuckle out loud as Siathorn proudly strides forward with fearless Mitzi at her side.
Once they catch sight of the idol of Sarenrae, however, a visible change ripples through the group. Several of them can be heard murmuring prayers to Iomedae and others turn to whisper to each other, some excited, some surprised, others very serious, but all of them hopeful.
"Oof...well lad, I don't know about having the voice of an angel but it's starting to look like I might not have been far off the mark otherwise," one of them remarks and you can tell by the voice that it's the same one that bid you approach the gate. "And I don't think any of us are inclined to look a gift goblin in the mouth right now. Come in, I'll take you to our leader; he'll want to hear your story himself."
And with that, assuming you accept, the guards stand aside and allow you to enter into the palisade. You're guided to the largest and most elaborate tent in the camp, which boasts gold-embroidered flags bearing the symbol of Lastwall.
"I don't know what we'll be able to do about food for your tribe but Watcher-Lord Ulthun is a good man. If you can convince him your story is true I know he'll repay any debt ten-fold," your guide remarks. "Watcher-Lord, sir! The goblins from the gate," he calls out as he opens the flap and ushers you inside.
Despite the fine fabrics the tent is constructed from, the interior of this large pavilion is anything but fancy. A few boards lay across upturned barrels to form a table and several cut logs serve as chairs. What looks like a large map is laid out on the boards, smooth stones and other small items set in place of the troops they represent. A human-sized cot rests in one corner with thick fur blankets piled atop it and a few continual-flame torches provide bright light.
Sitting atop one of the chair-stumps, flanked by 8 guards, sits a regal and imperious-looking man in the shiniest of shiny armor and wearing a red cloak.
"Now this is an unexpected visit to be sure," says the man, his voice clear and full of authority but tinged with unmistakable weariness. "I sense no wickedness in your hearts, and I wonder whether providence's hand is at work. Tell me, why are you here in this camp?"
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Shouldering her way to the front, Crimsi makes her best (worst) curtsy and says "We were sent by the Great Chief Velkik to offer the Cornered Longshanks a path through the mountain and out of these dire straights in exchange for there help in teaming up with us to safely move or tribe away the the Dead not Dead army." in a rush to be first in front of the handsome longshank. Finally finished she takes a deep breath and smile as big as she can at the leader blinking her eyes.
"Help Longshanks. Help tribe." Grenek nods along yet again, apparently having forgot the rest of his vocabulary.
Pizazz, eyes wide at the man's armor, quietly takes off his bucket in an unobstrsive manner as he can manage and starts to try to "polish" it.
"Crimsi tells truth. For once." he buts in.
"We travel through big dark cave. Take you to goblin camp other side of mountain. Then all together goblins and longshanks flee from bad dead creatures. Pizazz will sing great song celebrating this!" he adds.
Happy that some of the mud and moss from his bucket is gone, he proudly puts it back on his head.
"Come, time means little to dead, much to us though."
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Pizazz opens his eyes as he speaks, doing his best to look goblin-sincere.
"Come. Statue says we speak truth!" nods the singer as he straightens his bucket.
"Yes, yes please, help us!"
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"Yes! We are redeemed goblins," Siathorn says, holding out the wooden carving. "Although Siathorn has trouble remembering which goddess did the redeeming."
Ulthun listens intently to your story and to the words each of you - those that volunteer them - have to say. While he does stare at Grenek with some concern and simply raises an eyebrow at Crimsi's rather awkward attempt at flattery, his demeanor grows visibly warmer as he listens to the rest of the group - especially so at the presentation of the idol of Sarenrae.
"Iomedae grants me the power to look into the hearts of men, women...and goblins, among other things. And just as before, I sense no wickedness or deceit there after hearing your tale," Ulthun begins, his tone quiet but full of conviction. "Your tale is one full of danger, danger that you and your tribe could have avoided, and yet you came to us. To seek our help yes but to offer a way out of these dire straits. And I believe the sincerity of your words. This alone would have been enough to convince me."
Ulthun now rises to his feet, eyes shining with an inner fire. "But you bear an idol of the Dawnflower, something that to my knowledge no goblin has ever done. And I know now that our meeting is not mere chance or circumstance but the hands of Iomedae and Sarenrae themselves at work! Come, come with me," he beckons to you and to his guard before striding from the tent.
Outside, the Watcher-Lord kneels down next to Pizazz for a moment and points to the whistle that sticks out from the goblin's pocket. "Ah...Pizazz, was it? May I borrow this for a moment?" Seemingly uncaring about any germ potential the longshanks commander takes the whistle and blows into it. Though the sound is rather silly it does the job of getting the camp's attention well enough.
"Thanks lad," Ulthun whispers as he passes the whistle back to Pizazz. With all eyes on him, Ulthun clears his throat to address his men:
"The path we have chosen for the present is full of hazards, as all paths are; but it is the one most consistent with our character and courage as a nation and our commitment to the safety of this world. The cost of this safety is high but the men and women of Lastwall, and her allies, have always paid it. And there is one path we shall never choose and that is the path of surrender or submission."
"But there are combats worthy of you, of us, combats in which it is glorious to conquer and advantageous to die. This, holed up here in this valley, is not one of them - not when the hand of providence has shown us another way forward! Another way to keep to our feet, to continue to fight for all that is good in this world! These six that you see before you," Ulthun gestures to the group, "came bearing an idol of the Dawnflower and news of a way out of this valley, one that the undead host knows nothing of. I fully believe that this is no mere coincidence, no cheap trick or wicked deceit, but the hands of Sarenrae and Iomedae reaching out, offering salvation to us all!"
Ulthun pauses, looking around at the gathered men, meeting their gazes with unflinching conviction and determination. "And we shall take it. And live on, to fight another day. Begin preparations to evacuate immediately!"
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