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Samen stares , mouth agape as Jack tells his tale. "How...." He begins to speak, then closes his mouth and stares at Jack, a puzzled look upon his face.
...What? How? Who IS this boy?
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"Did you... uh.. did this Jack ever return home? I heard rumor of a barony gone missing, but surely that was years ago.."
Yes, a good question! Spaghetti: your mind is cunning, twisty, turny — it lives up to your true name! Vartiomies reaches into the bag and produces a candy on a stick. It's wrapped in paper and labeled ?.
I'm sure Sir Troubletail took care of the baron in the end — after all, the forest thrives still, cold as it is. (She shoots a dirty look at Jaa-Isanta.)
But what of the boy? These fairy tales invariably end with the removing of masks and the protagonist basking in love, or gloried in blood. I simply can't abide cliff hangers, Jack — the cheapest and most unscrupulous of all the literary devices!
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"You ask me how?" The boy sits criss-cross net to Vartiomies. "You've paid your due in full with memories not yours."
"The rascal fled into the wood along a path he'd never seen before. He heard a voice and saw a glimpse of Troubletail, who disappeared around a bend. Anon he came upon a glade. Its center held a chest, against which Peter perched.
"Ah, lad, ye've come at last. I know your Pa's upset. And yet you've saved him and your brov from certain death. You'll see one day. For now, your cares are mine. I'll see you through, if you'll just join me in this chest. You'll want for not, and live a life of endless play. So swears your Rabbit Prince.'
"Dejected, hungry, tired, the boy could not resist. 'You've ever been my friend, kind Troubletail.' His newfound guardian drew ope' the chest, whose painted sides depicted every sort of play in every land in every world. Jack peeked inside and found some steps. Beyond them led a hall lined not with walls but heaps and heaps of toys. Some stirred and waved hello.
The path between the toys led to a lighted space you might well call a room. There sat a comfy chair and neatly folded clothes that smelled like cinnamon. Jack whiffed and, grateful, put them on. He sat and quickly fell asleep within the chair's plush arms."
The boy closes his eyes and pauses for a moment. His face begins to take on a glossy, almost ceramic mien.
"He lay there who can say how long before the Rabbit Prince arrived. He seemed much taller than the boy recalled. Or maybe Jack himself had changed. 'At least my Queen has asked for her new toy. Your lucky day, my boy.' With that he grasped Jack carefully, as parents hold a babe.
"The boy could not quite move his limbs as Peter carried Jack past shelves festooned with soldiers, animals, and tiny furniture. Until at last they came into a regal bedroom with a large, palatial house for dolls. The rabbit placed him in a chair within this house, and there he sat for days or months or years."
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Where Jack had been now sits a large, somehow animate doll, who goes on.
"I shall not bore you with the great indignities that may befall a toy. Nor how the boy escaped into the care of Lady Lumi, whom you know." The doll looks Samen in the eye. "I only wish to know, what was I called? Will you now whisper in this ear my once true name? Or tell me what befell the barony?"
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Samen meets the doll's gaze in silence, staring for a long moment before speaking. "There was a boy, a miller's son, who lived in a village with his father and his older brother." Samen speaks without breaking eye contact. "Like most younger children he thought the world of his brother, second only to his father in wisdom and power.
"One day a stranger came to their village, bedecked in clothing the likes of which the boy had never seen, the saddlebags on his magnificent horse bearing a noble coat-of-arms. To this young boy's mind nothing so exciting had ever happened, though strangely the adults in town were upset by the fascinating man's arrive. Sure his brother would understand how exciting it all was? But no, his brother's mood was plain to see, fierce and mischievious.
"The next day was calamitous. How is a boy to deal when his older brother and his father fight? His brother fled that evening, into the forest, never to be seen again. His father searched and searched--most of the adults in town helped--but no trace was ever found.
"They tried to hide it from the boy--he was too young to understand, his father said--but young children are good at going unnoticed and he inevitably heard the rumors. From that day forward he know--he knew--that the baron had killed his brother. He grew up hating the baron, swearing to get revenge someday. Robbed of his righteous revenge when the baron died, he left that town behind and set off to find a new place."
He pauses to collect himself before continuing. "My name is Samen, the seed from which grows the stout and long-lived tree. My brother's was Birne, the bulb the sprouts the beautiful flower which dies away at season's end.
"As for the baron, he was the wasp--threatening, frightening, but ultimately little threat. His efforts to clear-cut were short-lived and costly--it only takes a few loggers disappearing before the rest demand higher wage or outright refuse to work. Time, money, and other concerns brought a quick and quiet end to his schemes."
His story completed, Samen looks down, suddenly unwilling to maintain eye contact with the doll. Instead, he reaches into bag and draws a lebkuchen shaped like a tulip. Breaking it at the stem, he begins to eat the flower, leaving only the bulb in his hand.
Vartiomies devours her candies as the tales are told, thoroughly enjoying herself. When Samen finishes, she claps her hands and beams. Just so: "The removal of masks and the protagonists basking in love." I surely do know a good tale when I hear one.
Turning, she frowns at Jack and Samen. Jack-Birne? Garçon? Why are you staring at the floor? Why are you blushing? You must bask harder!
She leaps onto the chairback and holds her chin in her hand, thinking to herself and kicking her boots. Well, even though your reunion's basking-in-love is wholly unsatisfactory, it's the most boring part of the story anyways; I won't deduct too many points. She counts to ten on her fingers. I give you seven out of nine points.
Musingly, she continues: Yes… a far better tale than any I've heard lately — even better than Lady Nightshade's tale of the magic mirror. No, this was drama unfolding right here before my eyes, as on a private stage.
You should visit more often. I'll tell the fiery ones — she gestures at the door through which the party came — to let you pass unharmed henceforth. We can share stories as often as you like!
The doll named Birne and Jack and other things stands up and regards his sometime brother. "I do remember ow. You were my brother, cherished almost more than life itself. And yes, you called me Birne Einbetten. However, I am now a different creature with another, truer-seeming name. I know not what to make of this...”
He gives a slight bow to Vartiomies. ”I know not what your purpose is in this most curious place. But thanks for what you’ve given me today. I hope to tell you tales of victory and joy when we next meet.”
Vartiomies bows and hands the SNACKS bag to the doll named Birne (What an bizarre name, she thinks to herself). Of course. I am known for my generosity, far and wide.
Value: 5000 GP; CL 14
Roll a d100:
1-97: snack of choice.
98: potion of cure light, flavored like snack of choice
99: potion of cure critical, flavored like snack of choice
100: handful of angry honeybees
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”So, you’re brothers then, is that what I’m to make of all this? And Jack is the elder, despite being, well, whatever he is. I hope someone has been taking notes ‘cause that was quite the tale. Can’t say I didn’t find the whole thing creepy and unsettling.”
He eyes Jack’s bag of treats approvingly. ”At least we got something to keep us alive in the wilderness.”
Vartiomies chats with you for another two hours before you can extricate yourself; you get the feeling that the idle talk and distracting story-telling sessions may never end if the charismatic being had her way.
Finally, you part ways, walking through the new doorway while giving promises to return soon.
As the door shuts behind him, Samen thinks back to several things he heard.
Oh, and the other one too, but she's too old to be a princess.
— even better than Lady Nightshade's tale of the magic mirror.
He wonders if this "other one" whose "too old to be a princess" might be the Queen. Futher, Lady Nightshade certainly seems like an apt "true name" for Queen Haijyin. Could she have come this way? And if so, what of her magic mirror?
It's a shame no one thought of these things until now. However, going back up and getting enmeshed with Vartiomies and her talk might cost precious hours, and even turn into an overnight stay at this hour. And with Lumi is still captive and in danger, this doesn't seem like a viable option.
On a more positive note, if Her Majesty herself went this way, it may be an important clue or mean the party is on the right track.
The stairs down lead to a blank wall.
Samen and A Boy find the secret catch that pushes the wall away, revealing the first room of this lower level.
Here the walls are made of limestone and the floors are densely packed dirt that is as hard as stone. It's cool but comfortable down here.
----
This new room is thirty feet high and filled with desert sand; there is a two-foot wide, flattened path that leads to the exit in the south wall. Steep dunes on either side slope all the way up to the ceiling.
Hucklepuck and Samen notice that these dunes look extremely precarious. A misstep might cause an avalanche.
Samen's experience with traps leads him to believe that these dunes will remain stable if everyone walks very slowly along the path.
Along the flattened path ahead, all of you catch glimpses of gold, platinum, and silver in the sand. There may be thousands of coins buried here. You could grab some without causing an avalanche, if you so choose (or spend time carefully excavating the coins for a massive profit).
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"Maybe it's all the talk of fairy tales and fey creatures, but I think those coins should remain where they are. Those stories never end well."
The doll holds his form a while as Vartiomies prattles on. He does not meet Samen's gaze until they are ready to leave. For a moment he wavers. Looking at his glazed, white hands, he screws his eyes and face in a knot.
After a moment, fleshy young Birne is back. He tentatively approaches Samen, asking without words for permission. For a hug.
Heeding Samen's words, you move slowly and avoid temptation. Nothing but small ripples of sand menace you from the weirdly tall dunes.
You open the door and are faced with a massive stalactite blocking the way. A Boy can fit through easily due to his size as can Klaytal (formerly known as "Spaghetti")); however Gate and Samen must each take two minutes on escape artist checks to pass through.
Perhaps because they don't need to focus so hard on squeezing through the claustrophobic entrance, A Boy and Klaytal notice a scrap of green cloth haning off the rock here; likely the garment was torn when its wearer squeezed through.
A Boy recognizes it as traditional hunter's garb — in fact, it's the exact same hue and material as that worn by the your erstwhile "hunstman."
A very narrow path threads through clusters of stalagmites and stalagtites in this newly-revealed room.
Out of the corner of his eye, A Boy sees one of the larger stalactites move.
Gate recognizes these creatures as Piercers, aberrations that disguise themselves as stalagtites, waiting to ambush unsuspecting victims by dropping from the ceiling and crushing them. Some are large, and others are rather small.
Alerted to danger, the party now notices that there are smaller stalagmites creeping about on the ground. They seem to be armed with projectiles that will shoot at passerby. These, Gate recalls, are the offspring of the Piercers and are called Pea Shooters. All told, there are about twenty Piercers and a dozen or so Pea Shooters.
How do you get through this room?
Please let me know how the party proceeds, or if you have another idea.
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Klaytal mumbles, "Cannot believe you two are BROTHERS all along. I hope Samen gives that poor lad a hug."
"Welp... I think I could take my chances running and jumping out of the way of all that. Jac— erh, Birne I think you seem pretty resilient as well. How about you two? Gate I don't think chest hair alone is going to work on these sharp spikes."
The boy named Birne looks to his companions. "What would you like? I'll gladly sing you down the path, or back your fight with tricks and guile."
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Samen, ever stoic, stiffens as Birne approaches. How could he be so small, so fragile? He was always so much taller than me... The shock lasts a moment, and then he relaxes, opening his arms to the boy. He looks so young...
------
"If Birne can move us past in safety, I see no reason for us to take unnecessary risk."
You teleport just past the aberrations, landing in the most logical spot: the threshold of the archeway to the next room.
Click.
Gate looks down and realizes he’s teleported directly onto a pressure plate! Before anyone can react the walls on either slide rumble inwards, crushing all of you (whole party, no save).
The walls slide back, and you hear a mechanical ticking, as if the trap is resetting. Gate is still on the preasure plate.
The room beyond is large and split in half; it seems as if you’re on a high ledge, and the lower half of he room sinks away into darkness.
Several of you notice that almost every inch of the room before you is trapped. If you step forward you will set one off. There is room for one person to step to the Northwesternmost square.
Your backs are to the Piercers and pea shooters. If move back they will fall on your head. Forward is more traps.
The crushig walls trap clicks away...
"Friend Floofy, why not stay for now while we make haste? Our hero, always, yes?" The boy sings charmingly while laying hands on the Gate's massive, bulging biceps.
He scampers and leaps through the room beyond.
A Boy moves under the living stalactites.
A medium one falls towards him!
However, he nimbly avoids being crushed by the aberration and takes no damage.
A Boy barely makes it over the traps, pushing himself off the wall to move diagonally. While perhaps not the most elegant of leaps he has taken, it gets the job done.
"Gate, step over here off of that pressure plate!" Samen eyeballs the traps, then seeing Jack's success in navigating them he follows behind, trying to stay on the same path the boy took.
”This is all somehow my fault then, is that what you’re saying? Gate steps off the plate.
Gate steps to the only safe square!
Samen, like his brother, makes an inelegant but efficient leap over the traps.
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Klaytal makes the last — and longest — leap!
He nails it.
With everyone safely across you can lower yourselves down into the second half of this room.
Klaytal and Samen note that the wall to the North seems fake.
The fake wall seems like a magical effect but you can't seem to identify this effect.
Otherwise, this area seems empty. To the south is a hallway opening into another large space.
The boy spreads healing around before poking his head through the fake wall.
"...through? If you say so, I guess." Samen waits for everyone to be ready and healed, then breaks down the false wall.
As Samen knocks against the wall, something on the other side suddenly pushes through! Everyone leaps back as it sloshes into the room from the chamber beyond. This quivering mound of yellowish-brown sludge surges toward you. It looks like this.
Gate and A Boy aren't sure what this is. It looks oozy.
Samen is up!
This creature has an aura that is always on. Starting with Samen, please make a fortitude save at the beginning of each turn you spend within 10 feet of it.
You are slowed for this round, and 1d4 rounds afterwards.
"Ggggrrrrrrooooooooooossssssssss!" Samen says, slowly drawing his sword and taking a 5ft step back. He seems to be moving in slow motion.
Sensing multiple opponents, the strange ooze splits into an identical half.
The second ooze tries to push Klaytal out of the way but can't — even with the swashbuckler flat-footed. It is forced to squeeze into the available space, around the corner of the broken wall.
Whole party's up — remember your fort saves.
The boy pulls out a bottle, steps forward, and tosses from behind the cover of Gate.
Klaytal will (slowly) try to slice the nasty, gooey muck in front of him.
"Oh come ON! This is disgusting!!!"
Samen slowly steps forward and swings his sword as hard as he can. It feels like swinging through syrup.
Gate, wondering why everyone else is so slow, full attacks the original ooze.
----
The air fills with the stink of burning flesh as the alkali flask sizzles into the oozes.
Klaytal and Samen, though slowed, are effective against their attackers.
Gate hits the original ooze twice; his last attack skitters off its thick hide, which looks and feels very much like congealed fat.
Ooze #1 lashes out furiously at Gate, the last creature to hit it. The ropey tendril slams against Gate's exposed chest, burning off a long, diagonal line of hair!
Ooze #2 flails weakly against Klaytal, who was also the last creature to hit it.
Gate -17 HP, not slowed, missing chest hair
Hucklepuck -0HP, not slowed
Klaytal -0HP, slowed
Samen -0HP, slowed
Ooze 1 (original ooze): -47HP
Ooze 2 (spawn ooze): -9HP
Whole party's up!
Samen continues his slow-motion assault.
The boy curses and steps back. He sings a brief bawdy verse about the little old lady who lived in a soapbox, and his friends are shielded from the oozes’ acid .
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Gate howls in anger as more of his chest hair is lost!
He continues to slice and dice the first ooze, as though his masculinity were on the line.
Bits of exploded ooze chase the sound of Gate's howls through the air.
You make quick work of the second ooze.
Klaytal and Samen find an onyx box buried under the dirt floor of the ooze's exposed chamber. It has an engraving:
When you’re finished with my contents, make use of my twin
Inside is an intricately carved antler that features fey creatures chasing loggers along its length.
This is a wand of major image (CL 7th, 17 charges)
Covering the floor of the entrance to the next room is a 5-foot wide band of clay; if you stand in it for more than 2 rounds you sink at a rate of 1 foot per round.
The space beyond — the largest yet — is covered in a thin layer of sticky clay. There are large letters, written in common, impressed into each 5-foot square.
Stepping into the clay here doesn't make you sink, but it makes you move more slowly and clumsily. If you let the clay clump up on you, its effects are cumulative.
At the far end of the room on a low platform are three statues , but the boy can't identify them for the party.
On the wall nearby is written a riddle:
What is the best way to travel through life?
Eventually you figure out that you have to step across the tiles to spell E A R T H G L I D E, which is what any earth-aligned would think is the best way to travel.
This room is riddled with tunnels (not pictured on the map). Most are quite small, but some are the width of a human adult’s shoulders, oval shaped, and worn smooth. These have been made by giant centipedes!
Here you find pieces of the vermin scattered about. You note that these have been expertly dealth with; a specialist’s knowledge of both weak and vital points has been demonstrated by the attacker to kill with maximum effectiveness and efficiency.
While you inspect this area, five centipedes come out and attack you! They are excactly like the ones you encountered with the "huntsman" and are easily dispatched.
You find a lock of hair on one of these centipedes. It's the same shade as Lumi's hair.
There's a scattering of dust and debris throughout the L-shaped room that lies beyond the centipede warrens. There are two old, broken statues in here made out of clay. There is a dark stairwell on the far end that leads further down.
You notice a pair of petite boot tracks that enter this room. They lead to a rucksack left in the middle of the floor, step to the East, and then vanish. This rucksack looks like the same rucksack you saw when the huntsman was killed.
You also notice a second pair of tracks: those of a large, barefoot humanoid with only 4 toes on each foot. These walk to the wall and disappear, as if the creature walked through the wall. Several of you might recall the fire-based Azers moving through the walls on the level above.
Gate's figures out that the barefoot tracks are over 8 months old, whereas the small boot tracks here are relatively fresh — perhaps just days old but certainly no more than a week.
You have found a wand and a lock of Lumi's hair in the previous rooms. Here, there's an empty magical bag and two sets of strange footprints (one of which are a set of petite boots that vanish into thin air, and another set that is of a four-toed humanoid who seems to walk through the wall).
You have a moment to process these new clues before something happens. What do you make of them? Do you identify the items you found, or share any theories?
"I think that Lumi may have come a passenger within this bag. But... Where's she gone from here?"
Samen prods the bag a little with his sword. "Anything in here?"
When Samen asks his question, a disgusting squishing noise rises from the darkness of the stairwell ahead, as something massive is worming through the portal…
A huge, rotting version of the fiendish centipedes wriggles in:
Whole party is up!