Tuk Tuk: From his flanking position he'll he'll sink his teeth of the the hated dog...
Goma will dart forward and drag Nurpuls unconscious body out of the fray.
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Teregem takes aim and fires at the dog but the beast easily dodges the attack which leaves him open to Tuk Tuk, just as the goblin intended.
With Teregem's shot driving the dog his way Tuk Tuk latches on to the dogs neck with a vice like grip, his fangs sinking in deep, draining the life from the vicious beast while Goma siezes the opportunity to drag Nurpuls to safety.
Nurpuls is stable but in bad shape. He can't move and is barely conscious.
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On exploring the room Cuddles emerged from the Goblins find this room is a blood-splattered chamber of horror. Dead rodents, snakes, and birds have been variously nailed, tied, and hung around the walls. At the far end of the room, a large cauldron bubbles over an iron stove set against the aft wall, its stovepipe chimney extending up through the ceiling. Inside the caldron they find and arm a leg of a goblin stewing which they realize is Scribleface on finding his head in a bloody burlap sack which sits on the floor next to the stove. The center of the room contains a long, rickety table surrounded by chairs that contain several grisly decorations—a whole family of skeletal goblins, their bones bleached white and bound together by reeds and twine.
"How we fix Nurpuls? Or is he goner?"
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Glab puts his crossbow away and walks over to Nurpuls. "Woooo... Wooooolaaaa!", he says, moving his arms above Nurpuls' body. Glab then dances in circles around Nurpuls as he starts to sing. "Shalala boom YA! Shalala boom YEA! Shalala boom LALA! Lalala boom LALA!" Suddenly halting, Glab bends over Nurpuls and touches his face. "Magic... touchhhh~"
"You can stand up now", Glab says to Nurpuls, still touching the unconscious goblin's face as he casts cure light wounds.
Nurpuls, however, doesn't stand up. "Huh, weird", Glab mumbles. He then casts virtue 10 times to give Nurpuls +10 temporary HP, after which Nurpuls should be able to stand up with 7 HP. "You better heal fast. Maybe weird potion we found helps."
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Teregem looks around and learns that this is the room Vorka prepares her meals but it doesn't look like she lives in this room. He also finds a potion of Cure Light Wounds and Fire Stones which makes sparks when rubbed together. Useful for starting fires and lighting fireworks.
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he drinks the potion as quick as he can
"Strike first better. If we can."
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Suddenly the Goblins hear the cabin door open followed bya viscous scream. "You killed my Cuddles! I will roast you filthy little licktoads. I'll make soup from your bones and stew from your eyes and I'll turn your insides into pie."
Before you stands the most ferocious looking goblin you have ever laid eyes on. Her mouth is her most fearsome feature—it's a bit too wide, even by goblin standards, and Vorka's habit of filing her already sharp teeth has resulted in a snaggletooth grin of mismatched teeth that leaves little doubt as to her preference for tough, stringy meat. Like goblin meat. She wears rags and bits of stained cloth—trophies harvested almost at random from her hapless victims, over her equally patchwork leather armor. While her exact outfit can change in this manner depending on who her latest meals may have been , the one part of her apparel that never changes is her floppy, pointy leather hat—a hat Vorka stole from a human traveller and made crude alterations to in order to make it fit her large, misshapen head.
It seems she had heard the goblins earlier and was prepared. She rushes up to the crow's nest climbing with some magical aid.
Vorka is not alone and her toad companion, Lord Longtongue as she refers to him, remains below as he cannot climb.
Round 1
Glab
Goma
Vorka/Lord Longtongue
Teregem
Nurpuls
Goma: "Kill the toad, I'll summon an eagle to deal with Vorka."
Tuk Tuk: "You would summon another? I am not enough?"
Goma: "You cannot climb. How would you attack her?"
Tuk Tuk: "And who's fault is that? You chose this form for me!"
Goma: "Just kill the toad!"
Tuk TUk: "As you wish..."
Tuk Tuk charges the toad
Goma summons a celestial eagle The eagle will smite and dive to attack Vorka
(smite)
(smite)
Teregem steps up to the railing and throws a bomb up at Vorka.
Eagle takes 2 pts damage, 3 left
Goma: "Hey! stop blowing up eagle bird. It friend!"
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Goma starts to work a spell while Tuk Tuk moves in to attack Lord Longtongue. The two creatures size each other up and then Tuk Tuk attacks. Being familiar with dogs Longtongue is able to easily evade to lunge hopping up into mid air above the wolf. Goma summons an eagle to attack the cannibal while Glab takes a shot at her with her crossbow, neither of which find their mark. Gurgle tries to attack the goblin high up the crow's nest but is unable to reach her and feebly strikes the main mast.
Vorka calls out, “Those ears might taste fine stuffed with eyes.” as she lights a desnan candle which takes off in the direction of Glab.
Lord Longtongue retaliates and attacks Tuk Tuk but is the crafty wolf is able to dodge the straightforward attack.
Tergem in turn intelligently throws a bomb at Vorka. The eagle gets caught in the blast as well and Vokra and Eagle both sustain serious injuries.
Nurpals prays a quick prayer to Hadregash as he throws an orb of acid at Vorka Great Mighty Hadregash this be an enemy of your goblins smite her i will
The eagle will attack Voka
While Goma flings a blob of acid at the toad (acid splash).
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The goblins rally seemingly brave in before this terrifying foe. Glab carefully takes aim and fires another bolt at the druid canibal, but misses. The eagle however has better luck and is able to claw at Vorka while Goma successfully launches a blob at the druid which only does a little damage but it's all adding up.
Vorka is furious and says confidently, "You aren't the first little goblins that think they are a match for the mighty Vorka. I think I'll roast you!" and suddenly a flame appears in her hand. Another round of the lit desnan candle goes of at Glab hitting him pretty painfully, and nearly blinding him.
Lord Longtongue turns his attention to Gurgle who just tried to attack him. He retaliates with a bit of his own but he too seems equally inept as both creatures are unable to cause any harm to one another.
Teregem the craziest of goblins lights another bomb on fire and hurles it towards the crows nest and it explodes, killing the eagle and spraying the goblin with fire and shrapnel.
vs. 17
The eagle rakes at Vorka
and Goma lobs another acid splash at the druid toad
The eagle will slash at Vorka
And Goma will once again lob acid at toad
Eagles AOO
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With a an attack from the eagle and a blast of acid from Goma the canibal's life leaves her battered body and she falls to the deck before the goblins very dead and making quite a mess. Lord Longtongue seeking his precious mistress fall to her death leaps of the boat and disappears into the swamp.
The goblins search the place and find the man-things—objects that once belonged to the crew of Kaijitsu’s Star but were left behind when the crew abandoned ship which are certainly worth something. All of these items (broken and functional alike) are strangely decorative, depicting colorful serpentine dragons, towering cliffs, delicate humanoid figures, and strange pagodas—not that a goblin would know a pagoda from a tool shed. Even the filthy or broken clutter here could be worth about 600 gp to the right collector, but as they are mostly made of bamboo, exotic wood, and in some cases paper, they’re probably more fun to burn. Among the more obviously valuable objects are 140 gp, a bejeweled silver and jade lantern built to look like a coiled dragon worth 150 gp, a dozen masterwork shuriken, an ivory and gold fan depicting a gecko walking amid cherry blossoms worth 80 gp (the reverse side of this fan has been used by Vorka to draw a crude map of Brinestump, not unlike the one Scribbleface created, and contains a secret that the goblins are unlikely to decipher anytime soon), a long hairpin with a red pearl at one end worth 150 gp, a wand of create food and water with only 2 charges left, and an elixir of love in a crystal vial shaped like a heart (the vial itself is worth 50 gp).
The red chest, though, is the object of the heroes quest. Unlocked, it contains several fireworks. The chest itself is heavy and worth 150 gp, and there were obviously once many more fireworks within (Scribbleface managed to steal many of them by sneaking into this room while Vorka was out hunting), but those that remain should be more than enough to satisfy the chief for at least a few days. The fireworks in the chest consist of 14 Desnan candles, 20 paper candles, and seven skyrockets.
Goma will unceremoniously dismiss the eagle and spend a minute to bring back Tuk Tuk before doing anything else.
Tuk Tuk: "Well... I see you survived."
Goma: "Yes, I summoned an eagle to attack Vorka atop the mast"
Tuk Tuk: "No need to tell me about it. Why should I care?"
Goma: "Hey, don't be like that, I would have kept you around if you could have climbed the mast."
Tuk Tuk: "No, no, don't worry about me. Just send me away anytime I'm no longer convenient."
Goma: "..."
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T eregem looks to hos compatriots and smiles. A job well done in his mind. His team successfully took down one of the worst creatures to walk this earth. But now what? He looks at the fan and other gear, then to the candles. Jewels, boom sticks, might and intelligence. That is what we have. Perhaps it be not so wise to give these to chieftain, who sits fat on a throne. Perhaps with all this, we could take throne to? He pauses and thinks about it, then breaks out laughing. just kidding! We should hurry and get back!
"We take all good stuff then burn! burn! burn!"
Tuk Tuk: "Perhaps you will want to summon a pack animal now?"
Goma: "Oh get over it!"
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Fire would be fun, but first there is just one last thing for me to do.With that, Teregem climbs up to the top of the mast, pulls out his dagger and begins to hack away at Vorka's neck, detaching her head from the rest of her body. Climbing back down he spreads his grin wide and says. Now we have proof of her death, that we are not cowards who hide and just steal this stuff from her!
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The goblins walk away from the burning ship (really cool slow motion scene in my head of the goblins walking away with the massive ship on fire in the background) returning to the village victorious heroes with the feast is given in their honor, and His Mighty Girthness Chief Rendwattle Gutwad decides Goma Gashi who played the most prominent role should marry his daughter—the fearsomely corpulent and ferociously lusty Gupy Wartbits. The other heores are given prominent tribal positions as well. Glab is announced the Hero Overseer of Village Stabbings and Tergem is awarded the title of Boss of Big Fire Hero. Nurpuls isn't forgotten either and is the new Head Village Watcher.
What the goblins do with the fireworks they recover, and what happens when they figure out the meaning of the images and map symbols scribbled onto the back of the ivory fan found in Vorka’s den, sets into motion a series of events that will have repercussions far beyond Brinestump Marsh, in the distant land of Minkai. These events await discovery in the Jade Regent Adventure Path.
The End
Awww, now I'm sad :-)
Good game, thanks for running it. Is there any chance you could run "We be goblins 2"?