Open for dotting.
Dotting. Will update stats later when I get back home.
chuffy takes each of his index finders and crushed a bump on his forehead, until it explodes forth.
"Dotted!"
Nasty ^^.
Just waiting for Mogmurch now.
You are the heroes of the Licktoad Tribe, living legends after
you triumphed against the terrible goblin cannibal Vorka
and recovered many fireworks from her lair. Your tribe used
the fireworks to great effect, but one day while you were out
scrounging for more fireworks, adventurers came into the
swamp and wiped out your tribe. You returned to your home
to find it in ruins.
Now homeless, you have decided to travel to the closest
tribe of goblins you know about-the Birdcrunchers. Maybe
they'll have room for you to join! Only, now that you've
arrived in Birdcruncher territory, something seems wrong.
The Birdcrunchers appear unusually nervous and frightened,
cowering around the entrance to their cave. They aren't even
trying to defend their territory. And now, a wrinkled old goblin
with bulging eyes is waddling out of the crowd, approaching
you. She's obviously some sort of shaman-maybe even the
chieftain. If anyone here knows whether or not you can join
the tribe, it'd likely be her!
"I be goblin! I be Mogmurch from Licktoads!" Mogmurch announces as he steps forward.
"Every Licktoad dead. Not us. We need home, you have sharing place?"
Good news for Birdmunchers, Poog is here to teach you all about Zarongel!
Poog advances to the entrance of the cave to better address his new 'congregation'.
Zarongel most holy sacred god of killing dogs, also of fire! If you like fire and hate dogs, Zarongel god for you. As holy priest, Poog learn you new and best ways of killing dogs and making fire. You follow Zarongel, this choice no brainer.
Chuffy steps up to Poog and smacks him on the back of the head with the hilt of his dogslicer, "You forget, announce me. Chuffy Lickwound, Master of the Up and Down!" (title given at end of last mod by Chief) "Why birdcrunchers no defend?"
"Mogmurch also like fire! Mogmurch make fire every day!"
Mogmurch pulls out a bomb. "Who want see big boom? Give Mogmurch thing to boom, he do so!"
"RETA BIGBAD HEADVILLAGEWALKUPANDCUTTHEM IS HERE." She poses like a child mimicking a model. "YOU ALL SEE AWESOME BEAUTY OF A LADY--" She drops the faux-prancing and starts wildly chopping her dogslicer into the ground. "--THAT CHOPPED UP ALL STUPIDBADLAME VORKA AND LONGTUNG INTO BITS." She swings hard enough that she jumps a little with swing.
She calms down after a moment, then takes a bite of a halfling toe and follows it with a human perfume chaser. A couple seconds later, she burps.
The old wrinkled goblin woman steps forward, leaning on a gnarled
wooden staff decorated with puppy tails and horse ears. Sizing you all up with her red bulgy eyes then scrapes her throat. A ratty doghide gown cinched with a rope belt from which hang dog’s paws, a pair of horseshoes, a fearsomely large dead stirge, and the pickled and shrunken head of a bright blue mite decorate her head.
"Well, well! What have we here? Licktoads, by the look of you,and from what I hear, orphans as well, hmm? Looking for a new
place to live, I suspect? Well, you might be in luck, because we
need new blood. Our own chieftains have been ... lacking ... in chieftainish ways. We've been having problems lately with an
ogre and his fire-breathing boars, you see, and any goblins
capable of killing the boars and driving off the ogre ... or driving
off the boars and killing the ogre ... or ... or whatever-well, they'll not only be welcomed into Birdcruncher territory with open arms. They'll be made chieftains, one and all!"
With that, the gathered Birdcruncher goblins suddenly animate into cheers and song. Eager and excited, they surge out of the cave to welcome their saviors, but suddenly freeze as the old woman shrieks out a command for silence. The goblins freeze in place, and she continues in a softer voice.
"But we can't just assume you're the stuff chieftains are made of. You might just be lucky. No, no ... before we accept you as our saviors and before you'll even have a chance to face off against Pa Munch meat and his pig ... I declare we have a Chieftain Moot!"
The gathered goblins erupt into cheers again, and the four heroes know why—a Chieftain Moot is a day-long festival of games and dares, a tradition among the local tribes when the need to select a new chief arises. Those goblins who want to be considered for the role must endure a number of trials during the moot, and if they survive and win, they earn the respect and support of the rest of the tribe.
The old goblin barks a few orders, and the Birdcrunchers scurry off to start organizing the moot.
Pointing at Reta "I'm not deaf, speak plainly child."
"Now, i am Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh. Come, we have things to talk about."
Poog take on Chieftain Moot, Zarongel tells me every night that all problems solved easily with fire. Even fire.
Poog stops to think about things for a minute...
To Mummy Sprattleharsh: What kind of goblin chieftain gives away his crown to new goblins? Is current chieftain part of Moot too?
Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh ignores Poog at first.
It is at the cave when you can sit down that she speaks.
"That, little Poog, is not important now. First you must rest, you traveled alot, yes? Moot tomorrow will be great, lots and lots of busy stuff. Now, ask what you want."
A few goblins warn you that, unless you want horrible things to happen to you, you should never offend Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh.
In detail:
Sprattleharsh is a figure of both terror
and love for the Birdcrunchers. They
whisper that she made one
warrior who offended her
vomit up a handful of spiny
toads, and once set fire to a chief
who interrupted her. One story
even relates how she made a goblin
who tried to curse the tribe write down
the word "breathe"-after which he
promptly forgot how to breathe and
died on the spot. The Birdcrunchers
happily confirm how wonderful she is,
if asked, and how any new ruler would
be wise to listen to her-or else.
Poog's more than reasonable Wisdom kicks in, and he chooses his words more carefully...
Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh, Poog sorry. Please don't make Poog write words!!!, as he prostrates himself before her, begging forgiveness.
He quickly stands up, his tiny mind flitting to the next topic.
Poog can help make big fire to warm your toes! Do you like fires?
Poog begins rushing around and collecting anything that appears remotely flammable in the immediate area and piling them in the centre of the cave.
Mogmurch's mouth drops, and he nearly drops his bomb on his own foot. He stares at Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh, and utters the one sentence he can pronounce properly: "The grammar is strong in you."
The alchemist puts away his bomb, and follows after Wise Mummy. He sits down, quietly listening to Poog's rant as he continues to stare at Sprattleharsh with wide open eyes.
"RETA BIGBAD, SO SHE TALK BIG AND BAD. SHE ALWAYS TALK LIKE THIS. JUST ASK STUPID POOG, MOGMURCH, AND CHUFFY." As she says their names, she points at them with her dogslicer.
She takes a good look at Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh and stops, the confidence as she suddenly seems to realize who she's talking to.
"POOG LIKE STUPID JIBBER-JABBER TALK STUFF, RETA SHOW HER BENEFIT-SENT NATURE AND LET HIM DO IT."
She falls back behind the others and continues eating halfling toes. She pulls down her bridal veil over her face.
Poog sorry. Please don't make Poog write words!!!
Mummy Sprattleharsh merely stares with a stoic face at Poog.
"Hm...."JUST ASK STUPID POOG, MOGMURCH, AND CHUFFY."
"Girl, if you become chief at the moot, you can talk big. Now...you rest, birdcrunchers will prepare for the moot."
Like Mummy Sprattleharsh says, the birdcrunchers outside the cave are very busy making preparations. That evening, a huge feast is held around the cave’s central bonfire. The feast consists almost entirely of various bird dishes—seagull soup, charred grackle, raven’s-eye pudding, vulture-ups, spicy sparrow poppers, and squeaky beakies are just a portion of the often-challenging dishes presented to the 4 arrivals during the night.
Mogmurch isn't particularly interested in asking anything. He just takes all the food he can and eats as much of it as possible.
"Mogmurch like food! Birds crunchy, yes!"
Poog simply stares into the large fire, with occasional incoherent mumbling. He looks away only to load his arms up with more bird pieces to crunch.
Whenever Chuffy gets a chance, he sneaks a spicy sparrow popper into Mogmurch, Poog, and Reta's bowls. Then anxiously awaits the surprise look on each one's face as their mouths begin to burn.
quietly commenting to each just prior to biting into their "secret" poppers, "Birdcrunchers need steal hot sauce from human city. Food taste blah. How you like?"
Poog suddenly sits bolt upright, then begins running around flailing his arms.
Bad fire! Bad fire!
All other goblins at the table burst in laughter as Poog runs around.
"That be future chief? He not can eat birdcruncher yumyums?"
"Hahaha, he not breath fire...pfftt heheheh."
After the majority of the feast has calmed, Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh comes forward. All the goblins fall silent and their eyes widen. In her hands she holds the birdcruncher chieftain crown, a crown made out of bird skulls and bones and wings and twigs. She places the Crunchy crown near the bonfire.
"Tomorrow....Birdcrunchers will have a new chief, a chief who Will beat back the ugly ogre Pa Munchmeat from Ravenroost."
She turns to you 4, "The one of you who is best in the moot's dares will be crowned chief. Plus, they get to take anything from the chieftain's chest."
The other goblins go ooooh and aaaah.
Where is chieftain lacking in chieftainy ways, Wise Mummy?
Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh looks Poog right in the eyes.
"Right now that is of no concern. He is out fighting, in his leave we need new chieftain."
Mummy Sprattleharsh dismisses it herself for the time being.
The goblins around seem to be less noisy as the question of Poog was heard, lots of eyes staring in his direction.
Poog doesn't think he is being told the truth...
That being said, he is more than happy to participate in the Moot.
Reta says, in her typical volume, "RETA BEING QUIET UNTIL OTHERS FINISH JIBBER-JABBER."
"Mogmurch like moot! Already know which goblin win moot, haha!"
As Mogmurch continues eating he takes a bite of the spicy sparrow popper. "Uh... UH... UHAUAHAHAAAA!! MOGMURCH ON FIRE!"
He jumps up and down, then throws himself on the ground and starts liking the ground. "FIYAAAA!! FII...! FII...!!"
"Fire gone," Mogmurch says calmly as he sits down again, and continues to eat.
The other goblins burst into laughter again.
They are now watching which of the 2 remaining goblins will jump up next.
chuffy snickers, thoroughly enjoying the reactions to his prank. He eagerly waits for Reta's reaction!
Reta, seeing the other goblins defeated by the spicy poppers, suddenly puts away her halfling toes and jumps up, her arm pointing up in the air in a declarative pose. "RETA BETTER AT EATING THAN STUPID POOG. SHE SHOW YOU AND SHE EAT ALL THE YUMYUMS."
She grabs the remaining Spicy Sparrow Poppers and gobbles them down as fast as possible.
Reta gobbles up the 10 remaining spicy poppers greedily and under the watchful eyes of the birdcrunchers she then stands still. Her ears turn a slight shade redder and a sweatdrop can be seen on the temple, but she pulls through.
"Yaaaaaaay, ladygoblin in white cloth great at eating!!!"
The next day Mummy Sprattleharsh and the other goblins lead you outside, to a small valley south of the Birdcrunchers' cave.
Mummy Sprattleharsh explains:
"Today, you have 3 dares. The one who scores best becomes the new chief. The first dare, shooting blind at the seagulls. You will be blindfolded and shoot seagulls."
You are each given a shortbow and 3 arrows. Mummy Sprattleharsh will release 3 flocks of seagulls from the cages, which require a Perception to pinpoint and a normal attack roll to hit AC14, with 50% chance of hitting.
Flock #1 Perception DC8
Flock #2 Perception DC11
Flock #3 Perception DC14
Poog is a little dejected that he cannot see well enough to light the arrows on fire.
Flock #1:
Poog hears a satisfying thunk after his shot.
Flock #2:
Poog hears the flock and fires!
Flock #3:
Poog points his shortbow at random targets, but doesn't seem to notice anything. He fires anyway as his arms get tired. You forgot third flock!
After several minutes, Poog removes his blindfold.
Where are my birds?, Poog shouts over his shoulder as he sprints off to try and find his prizes.
Poog hits a seagull from the 1st flock, scoring 2 points. It lands in the valley, ready for the next supper.
He hears the second flock take off, but misses. A loud yelling and laughter is audible.
He does however, though barely, miss the sound of the third flock taking off.
Mummy Sprattleharsh looks harshly at Poog. The goblins being silent briefly, wondering if a potential chief-to-be will befall something.
"Your ears must be worse than the wrinkles on my head."
To Poog's relief she doesn't.
"Poog not know how use bow!
flock 1:
odd=hit, even=miss
flock 2:
odd=hit, even=miss
flock 3:
odd=hit, even=miss
Chuffy pulls the puss soaked blindfold off, with a smug smile, he "thinks" he hit all 3. "No goblin beat Chuffy with bow and arrow! Try and top that silly worm eaters!"
Chuffy's sences seem pretty accurate today.
The first flock draws his attention almost immediately, but the arrow goes wide.
Laughter and *booh* can be heard.
Focused after the first try, he flawlessly hears the 2nd flock take flight, but the arrow misses again.
Again the other birdcrunchers mock Chuffy for his poor shooting.
The third flock's a charm, as Chuffy both hears and hits.
This time a few *oooh* can be heard.
Chuffy has earned 6 points by hitting a seagull in the 3rd flock.
"Why Mogmurch not use bombs?!" Mogmurch objects when he's blindfolded.
"Huh?! Where everyone?! I not know where shooting pointy sticks!"
When Mogmurch shuts his mouth for a second her hears the first flock. "Mogmurch hears it! Mogmurch shoot!"
Mogmurch does as he says, and actually manages to hit something.
The act's repeated with the second flock, and Mogmurch start laughing loudly. "Bwahaha! Mogmurch bestest pointy sticks shooter ever!"
After boasting so loudly Mogmurch just pretends he didn't notice to not pretend where his last arrow went.
"Mogmurch shoot everything!" he declares, somewhat nervous after his last shot.
Mogmurch takes his turn and scores a hit at the 1st flock, the seagull falls down....somewhere.
The 2nd flock of seagulls seem nervous, having seen the previous flock's casualty. To no avail, as Mogmurch shoots down one from them too.
The 3rd flock's release, like Poog, has not been noticed. He shoots into some direction, the arrow flying out of sight.
The birdcrunchers *Hahaha, skull-hat do good, but bad there!*
The goblins now cry for Reta's turn.
"Lady goblin now shoot!"
Reta puffs out her chest. "SAVED BEST FOR LAST! RETA SHOW HOW TO SHOOT DOWN STUPID BIRDS. SHE SHOOT BIRDS EVEN WHEN NOT BECOMING NEW CHIEF."
"SEE. RETA BEST BIRDKILLER EVER."
Reta grinds her teeth. "THAT JUST BAD LUCK. RETA NOT DO THIS WITH BLINDFOLD BEFORE."
"STUPID BLINDFOLD CHEATED!" She immediately starts ripping the blindfold apart in her teeth as she stomps about.
Reta proves her hearing is in shape today.
As the first flock is released, she hits one and it drops.
She has no trouble hearing and shoting at the second flock either, though it misses the bird by a few inches. The arrow lands betwee the feet of a goblin spectator. "EEEEEKK! Goblin lady not shoot birdcruncher!!"
Likewise the third, she both hears and shoots the correct direction, but she fails to hit. The arrow is nowhere to be seen after it flew away.
Reta has scored 2 points in this dare.
Scoreboard:
Chuffy 6 points
Mogmurch 6 points
Poog 2 points
Reta 2points
After cheering and mocking by the birdcrunchers, Mummy Sprattleharsh brings you west, where a particularly low valley has subsided
into a permanent swamp of nasty standing water. A failed
attempt by the Birdcrunchers to build a bunch of huts on
stilts left behind a haphazard arrangement of wobbly posts
protruding from the boggy ground. The goblins have
laid wooden planks across several of these posts, creating
narrow bridges that stand 10 feet off the ground.
In this dare, the contestants all begin on the southern
shore of the bog and are fitted with wide, clumsy, human
boots. A single stirge on a 5-foot-long tether is tied to each
of the red posts. The goal of this game is to kill as many
stirges as possible (preferably by stomping, which qualifies
as an unarmed strike, but any method of stirge killing is
allowed) without falling into the swamp below.
However, the dare comes as no small challenge:
Human Boots: The big boots the goblins wear are cumbersome and reduce the wearer's speed by 5 feet. In addition, the goblins attempt Acrobatics checks at a -2 penalty while wearing the boots.
Planks and Posts: Each plank and post is 1 foot wide and slightly unsteady. A successful DC 7 Acrobatics check is required to move along a plank; a goblin falls if she ever rolls 5 or less on such a check.
Stirges:
A total of 12 stirges are tied to posts. Each stirge can attack anyone within 5 feet of its post. Killing a stirge earns a goblin 2 points. Once all 12 stirges are dead, the dare ends.
Falling:
It's only a 10-foot fall from a post or plank to the swampy ground. Those who fall are disqualified and can accumulate no more points during this dare.
Last Goblin Standing:
The dare ends automatically as soon as only one goblin remains on the planks and posts.
That goblin earns 5 points.
The Dare
Roll initiative please.
Unable to create link on map. error code.
Chuffy double moves to 3 set of planks from left, and up 3 (moving at 1/2 speed on planks. ending with red dot on top left corner of chuffy's square.
Round 1
Chuffy double moved and is now on the planks.
Mogmurch is up.
Poog & Reta
Stirges
Mogmurch makes sure to not touch the planks and stay on shore as he steps forward. He takes a bomb, and throws it at one of the stirges.