"You no more boom, boom! Chuffy waiting to laugh at you fall!"
Chuffy loads another bolt and fires at the little bird he already hit.
Mummy Sprattleharsh shouts out.
"You four, you have just 6 seconds left!"
Round 7
-Chuffy wastes no time, but does waste another stirge. It's dead, snagging him another 2 points.
-Mogmurch's up
-Reta
"Mogmurch no know what second is! You be more clear!"
Hoping for a lucky hit, Mogmurch throws his flask of acid at one of the stirges.
Mogmurch only barely misses, the acid flask ending up in the marsh with a soft *sploosh*.
Reta's up
Reta pulls an arrow out and brandishes it like a dagger, making stabbing motions. "RETA SHOW YOU SHE BIGGESTBAD GOBLIN" She shoots at the stirge closest to her.
The arrow misses the stirge and a loud "Wuawuawuawuaaaaaaa....teeheehee" is clearly heard.
That is silenced though as Mummy Sprattleharsh moves forward "Dare is over! Come back to me."
As you get back, she announces:
"Four possible-chieftains they may be, let's hear the bodycount to see."
Chuffy : 4 points. Chuffy is praised for his going onto the poles and planks.
Mogmurch: 6 points, cheering ensues.
Poog : 0 points,
Reta : 6 points, also alot of cheering.
Chuffy : 10
Mogmurch: 12
Poog : 2
Reta : 8
Final dare: Bird Pie Finaly
For the last dare, Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh leads the chieftains-on-waiting back toward the Birdcruncher cave—as they approach, the stink of rotten meat and spoiled milk grows. The scent comes from a horrific “pie” that’s been created in a 10-foot-diameter bowl-shaped depression in the rock—the bowl is only 18 inches deep, but filled with a nasty, not-quite-boiling-hot slurry of spoiled milk, mud, swamp water, mashed-up grass, and dead birds. The top is covered over with an incongruously delicious- and flakylooking pie crust. Several cauldrons of boiling pie filling sit nearby, along with a number of large, dented metal funnels.
Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh explains that the giant birdmeat pie is still baking, and the chieftains-in-waiting will all be tied up and placed in the pie to cook. Each goblin is allowed to carry and wear all of his gear and equipment in this dare. The first goblin to make it out of the pie earns 10 points. The second goblin earns 5 points. The third earns 3 points. Any contestants after the third earn no points at all.
Complicating these matters, though, are the four golden eagles that are going to join the goblins in the pie—these eagles have had their wings clipped so they can’t fly, but they’re very much alive and very angry at their predicament. Killing an eagle earns that goblin a bonus of 5 points, so a goblin who stays in the pie and comes out last can still come out ahead in points if he kills enough eagles.
With the rules explained, the contestants are lined up around the edge of the pie and have their wrists and ankles tied together. As Wise Mummy uses her last thunderstone, all contestants are pushed into the pie.
A goblin has the grappled condition as long as her hands and feet are tied. A successful DC 18 Strength check or DC 22 Escape Artist check is needed to break free of the bonds—both are standard actions to attempt. A free goblin can untie another goblin’s bonds automatically as a standard action.
The pie filling is quite hot, and as the contents slosh out, the goblins add fresh boiling foulness to the pie via the dented funnels. Each round a creature remains in the pie, it must succeed at a DC 10 Fortitude save or take 1 point of fire damage. An eagle that dies of pie burns earns no one points.
On his turn, he will attempt to break his bonds:
and his burn check:
Poog screams in frustration!
Chuffy attempts to wriggle free from the bonds...
freeing himself from the bonds, he hops out of them pie quickly and throws his arms in the air while he jumps and dances around the pit.
"Chuffy number 1! Chuffy no pie filling! Chuffy win!
The birdcrunchers cheer, but that also turns to laughs, as they point at the eagles.
"You no can kill eagles now, maybe friends win by killing eagles."
Mogmurch's unable to escape from his bonds. "Mogmurch no like this! Hey!"
Luckily Mogmurch's able to avoid the burns, but his face still looks really sad. "Why Mogmurch's arms tied behind back?!"
It looks like Mogmurch's about to have a panic attack.
Round 1
-Chuffy wriggles out the bonds like a worm to run away..."brave sir Chuffy"
-Poog doesn't break his bonds, but resists the temperature.
-Mogmurch repeats Poog's action
-Reta
-Eagles
Reta snarls and grins. "RETA TOO BIGBAD TO GET BURNED BY STUPIDBIRDPIES."
"GOOD CHIEFTAIN BEST AT KILLING, NOT AT WIGGLING OUT OF ROPES." Reta swings her dogslicer at one of the eagles.
Round 1
-Chuffy wriggles out the bonds like a worm to run away..."brave sir Chuffy"
-Poog doesn't break his bonds, but resists the temperature.
-Mogmurch repeats Poog's action
-Reta slashes at the eagle, hitting for 3, but it lives.
-Eagles, save for Reta's, make their save.
#1 attacks Mogmurch and misses on all attacks.
#2 attacks Reta, it wants payback, Reta proves too nimble despite the bonds.
#3 attacks Poog, its talons rend at him for 7 dmg.
#4 attacks , Reta and nearly gets to her.
Round 2
-Poog's up (16/23)
-Mogmurch
-Reta
-Eagles
Poog roars fiercy and destroys his bonds. He quickly runs out of the pie before more talons slice him up!
"Poog eat first bite of eagle pie!!"
The eagle near Poog screeches angrily and tries to bite at him but Poog is too fast and scores 5 points for being 2nd to exit the pie.
-Mogmurch's up
-Reta
-Eagles
Mogmurch figures he'll do the same as Reta, and manages to grab hold of his club. He decides to try and steal Reta's kill.
"Good chief find way to win! Even when cheat!"
Mogmurch again avoids getting burned.
Though devious, Mogmurch misses the eagle by an inch.
Reta swings at the same one as last time. "RETA ALREADY FIND WAY TO WIN. KILL ALL SNAPPYBIRDIES."
Reta successfully decapitates the eagle, the head sinking into the pie.
Round 2
-Poog breaks free and escapes the pie
-Mogmurch attacks but misses the eagle.
-Reta goes badass and decapitates the eagle.
-Eagles: 1 is slightly burnt.
#1 attacks Mogmurch and misses on all hits.
#2 attacks Reta, biting her rear for 4 dmg.
#3 attacks Reta, both talons scraping her for 4 dmg. (21/30)
Round 3
-Mogmurch's p
-Reta
-Eagles
#1 attacks Mogmurch.
#2 attacks Reta
#3 attacks , Reta
Chuffy frowns in anger as he sees Reta start to chalking up the points from eagle corpses, and starts trying to rally the crowd of goblins to cheer for the eagles!
"Bwa! No fair!"
Mogmurch tries to escape from the ropes again, but fails once more.
"Nooo!! Mogmurch no like this!"
"Poog eat eagles, but it look like eagles eat bigmouth Reta first!"
Poog ponders this for a moment...
"...so Poog eat Reta?"
Mogmurch avoids the burns.
Reta attacks the eagle that bit her on the rear. "YOU BUY LADY DRINK FIRST."
Round 3 results
-Mogmurch failed to break free, though he wants to break free.
-Reta cuts at the eagle, leaving it within an inch of life.
-Eagles
Eagle 1 & 3 fail their saves and get burned for 1.
Eagle 1 attacks Mogmurch, all miss.
Eagle 2 attacks Reta, they all miss as well.
Eagle 3 attacks Reta, and ALSO miss all.
It is a bad day to be an eagle.
Round 4
-Mogmurch
-Reta
-Eagles
Mogmurch sees another opportunity, and tries to steal Reta's kill. Just like before, Mogmurch fails.
"Ouchie! Pie getting hot!"
Round 4
-Mogmurch takes a bit of burn dmg.
-Reta's up.
-Eagles
Reta swings at the same eagle once more.
"RETA KILL EAGLES IN PIES ALL DAY."
chuffy continues to encourage the eagles, starting very low, then gradually building into yelling, "bir.. dee. BIR.. dee. BIR.. DEE. BIR! DEE!"
Round 4
-Mogmurch takes a bit of burn dmg.
-Reta stabs the eagle vigorously.
-Eagles. Eagle 1 makes his save, but #2 (former #3) takes another point of burn dmg.
#1 attacks Mogmurch hitting him once with a talon for 2 dmg.
#2 attacks Reta, and fails miserably.
Chuffy though, unwittingly invokes a chant and only to him appears the following image.
Round 5
-Mogmurch's up
-Reta
-Eagles
Poog is getting upset that his supper is being delayed by two errant goblins swimming around in his eagle gravy, and runs to gather more firewood for the pie oven.
"Mogmurch break free now!" Mogmurch declares, but he fails to do so.
He does, however, avoid more burn damage.
Round 5
-Mogmurch fails breaking the ropes.
-Reta's up
-Eagles
Reta licks at the eagle blood on her dogslicer. She she quivers so much that she almost cuts her tongue. "RETA. BIGGEST. BADDEST. GOBLIN. CHIEFTAINLADYPRINCESS." She swings at the most damaged eagle.
Round 5
-Mogmurch fails breaking the ropes.
-Reta slices at the eagle, almost but not quite hitting.
-Eagles, both shake off the pie's temperature.
#1 attacks Mogmurch, 1 talon hits the alchemist for 3 dmg. (17/23)
#2 attacks Reta, almost hitting her twice.
Round 6
-Mogmurch's up
-Reta
-Eagles
His gathering complete into a rough pile of flammable items beside the oven, Poog begins scooping armfulls of the debris into the flames. Unfortunately, for every twig added, there are equal amounts of dust and rocks thrown in, adding little to the heat of the flames. Poog is unperturbed, convinced that he has performed the work of his god here today.
"Aaagh! Mogmurch want out of pie!" the little alchemist screams hysterically when he fails to break his bonds again.
"No, no, nooo!!"
The other birdcrunchers laugh, the last two are in the pie longer than they expected.
2 halfling toes lady-goblin kill another eagle.
Nono, 3 black feathers skullcap breaks bonds first.
"RETA KILL ALL CRUNCHYSNAPPYBIRDIES"
She swings again at the same target, bloodlust in her eyes.
Round 6
-Mogmurch fails to break again.
-Reta fails her save, but with valor and rage she now sliced the eagle in 2.
A certain golbin cheers, as he just won 2 halfling toes!! Woohoo!
-Eagle vs Mogmurch, it hits him with both talons for 7 dmg.
Round 7
-Mogmurch's up
-Reta
-Lone Eagle
Poog, increasingly bored at staring at the combat-filled eagle pie hops back in and uses his standard action to untie Mogmurch's ropes.
"There, now eagles pie finish faster."
Guys, for the sake of progress, your bonds are now boiled pretty decently.
You get a +4 circumstantial bonus to escape your bonds.
Mogmurch is unaffected by the temperature. Grabing his club he is able to whack th skull of the eagle, whch disappears into the filling.
Reta breaks her bonds, agitated by the denial of the kill, but gets out 3rd, scoring 3 points for the scape.
Poog jumps in once more to cut Mogmurch's bonds and they exit.
The birdcrunchers cheer, but it drops silent as Mummy Sprattleharsh comes forward.
"You four have tried well, 3 have done well.", she eyes Poog. "Now you follow me." The four of you follow Mummy Sprattleharsh as she walks towards the central space of the caves.
"I shall share with you the outcome of this dare and the Moot."
Scoreboard:
Chuffy scored 10 points> Total 20 points.
Mogmurch scored 5 points> Total 17 points.
Poog scored 5 points> Total 7 points.
Reta scored 15 points> Total 23 points.
"Reta wins, Reta is the new chieftainness!", cheers start as Mummy Sprattleharsh takes out the birdcruncher crown, made of leather straps, feathers and a bird skull up front.
"Also, Reta, you get to appoint 3 sub-chieftains, after which you can loot the chieftain chest."
The Birdcrunchers, as it turns out, have a
particularly large cache of treasure. There are several items
in the large and filthy chest that the PCs can make use of.
Among the 840 gp in assorted coins, art objects, trophies,
jars of pickles, shiny rocks, dented armor fragments, broken
dogslicers, and bird parts in various stages of decay are the
following items of particular interest:
4 potions of cure moderate wounds
1 potion of fire resistance
1 wand of lesser restoration (9 charges)
1 +1 flaming dogslicer
A Small cloak of elvenkind
1 bead of force
1 necklace of fireballs (type I)
5 ounces of sovereign glue.
Mogmurch kicks the pie once out. "Mogmurch done good till last dare..."
After curing himself back to full health Mogmurch feels much better. He walks up to Reta and grins. "You be good chieftain! You have loud voice for shout at goblins!"
Reta beats her chest and howls, leaping about like a maniac. "RETA GREATEST GOBLIN EVER. NOW EVERYONE KNOW SHE BIGBAD. SHE RETA BIGGESTBADDEST!"
After a minute or so, she calms back down and focuses on her goblin companions. "RETA REWARD GOBLINS LOYALTY TO RETA. YOU BE SUBCHIEFTAINS."
MOGMURCH, YOU BE SUBCHIEFTAIN OF BOOMYTHROWFIRES AND TASTY DRINKS.
CHUFFY, YOU BE SUBCHIEFTAIN OF SEEINGENEMIESFIRSTFARAWAY AND SNEAKY STUFF.
POOG, YOU BE SUBCHIEFTAIN OF HEALYHURTY MAGIC AND ZARONGEL STUFF."
Chuffy, while disgusted about losing the chief title by only 3 points, tries to disguise his excitement over being anointed as Sub-chieftain.
He waits anxiously as the chest is opened. "oooooooh, Chuffy LIKE fiery hot poker! (+1 flaming dogslicer) Chuffy of the up and down might also want some drinks of feel good (potion of CMW)."
The tribe has a feast that night to celebrate the crowning of the new chieftainess.
Of course, with the great power comes great responsibility.
"Yes, you are now birdcruncher chieftain. But tomorrow, you and sub-chieftains must undertake the great quest, the quest to defeat or drive off the evil ogre "Pa Munchmeat".
As chieftainess Reta and her 3 sub-chieftains are about to set out, Mummy Sprattleharsh warns them before they go that Pa Munchmeat's fire-breathing pigs breath fire, and Pa Munchmeat hits hard.
She gives you a crude map detailing the route to the dreaded farm, then almost gives you the boot to not come back until the job is done.
Poog gets everyone healed with charges of his wand.
"Poog take potion and wand, but can make enough fires from Zarongel's help. You take items and help Poog burn. Poog be good subchief for Reta, we make bacon now?"