Mogmurch jumps at the chest, and gets the items he wants most. "Mogmurch take shiny necklace and weird thingy!"
Reta stomps on the ground. "HEY, RETA CHIEFTAINPRINCESS. SHE DECIDE WHO GETS STUFF." She looks around at what everyone has grabbed. "YOU LOYAL GOBLINS. ANTICIPATING WHAT RETA WOULD SAY YOU SHOULD TAKE."
She snatches three of the potions.
"RETA TAKE TWO HEALYDRINKS AND ONE DRINKTHATMAKESFIRENOTHURT."
The Munchmeat Farm lies about two-thirds of a mile from the Birdcruncher village. As the bird flies, it's a relatively short distance; on foot through the trackless tors, it's an hour-long walk to get to the farm. Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh's map is crude but accurate and unless the PCs deliberately ignore it, they reach the ogre's home-but not without incident.
About 45 minutes into the walk, the heroes have approached close enough to the farm that they attract the attention of Pa Munchmeat’s animal companion Bacon Piggy. When the heroes arrive in a relatively wide valley with little undergrowth, everyone but chieftainess Reta fails to spot Piggy hiding in a patch of huckleberries. She quickly alerts the others.
Round 1
-Chuffy
-Mogmurch
-Reta
-Piggy
-Poog
Chuffy moves closer to the bacon, taking out his club as he does. He then assumes a stance of total defense.
"Chiefness Reta! We eat this bacon, can we?!"
Since there is nowhere to hide and get sneaky, Chuffy will "hide" behind Reta! Chuffy delays until after Reta's turn and follow behind her as she moves, hoping to avoid drawing an attack from piggy and getting an opportunity to either move around and flank, or allow Reta to move around piggy and provide flanking.
"Reta Big Bad Chieftoness is tribe boss, she SHOW piggy who Big Boss be!" And with that said he gives Reta a push forward.
Reta will move into just inside point-blank range and shoot at the piggy.
"CHIEFTAINPRINCESS RETA STICK PIG WITH ARROW. THIS LITTLE PIGGY GO 'OWOWOWOWOWFULLOFARROWS' ALL THE WAY HOME."
Round 1
-Chuffy pushes Reta
-Mogmurch moves ahead
-Reta double moves so she can shoot next time at PBS range.
-Piggy rushes at Reta, opening its mouth and letting a cone of fire at her as he is close. Reta made her save but takes 3 fire dmg. Piggy gobbles down another object.
-Poog's up
Poog hits piggy for 3 fire dmg.
-Chuffy pushes Reta
-Mogmurch moves ahead
-Reta double moves so she can shoot next time at PBS range.
-Piggy rushes at Reta, opening its mouth and letting a cone of fire at her as he is close. Reta made her save but takes 3 fire dmg. Piggy gobbles down another object.
-Poog bolts piggy for 3 dmg.
Round 2
-Chuffy
-Mogmurch
-Reta
-Piggy
-Poog
Chuffy double moves
Mogmurch completely circles the bacon to provide flanking opportunities for those who are better in melee. "Take out bacon so we eat!"
Chuffy double moves
it never works for me? I always get an error message. sorry.
Reta jumps back and draws her bow. "STUPIDBADLAME PIGGY NOT BURN RETA. GOBLINCHIEFTAINPRINCESS ONLY GET BURNED WHEN SHE COMMAND."
Round 2
-Chuffy quickly closes the distance between him and Piggy
-Mogmurch takes a detour to provide flanking
-Reta shoots but it bounces off Piggy's hide.
-Piggy "OOOOOOOIINK!", he sounds angry and aims his tusks at Chuffy. He misses though.
-Poog's up
"Zarongel teach you all better way to hurt piggy. You thank Zarongel later."
Poog advances and casts Bless.
-Chuffy pushes Reta
-Mogmurch moves ahead
-Reta double moves so she can shoot next time at PBS range.
-Piggy rushes at Reta, opening its mouth and letting a cone of fire at her as he is close. Reta made her save but takes 3 fire dmg. Piggy gobbles down another object.
-Poog casts bless on the quartet.
Round 3
Round 1
-Chuffy
-Mogmurch
-Reta
-Piggy
-Poog
Mogmurch takes a 5-foot step north so he can better flank with Chuffy, and swings his club at the bacon.
Mogmurch's angle is good, but slightly off the mark.
Meanwhile Reta and Chuffy are looking at an angry Piggy.
Reta shoots again. "CHIEFTAINPRINCESS RETA AND ZARONGEL SAY YOU DIE, STUPID PIG."
She five-foots behind Chuffy. "USE BURNYDOGSLICER TO CHOP UP STUPID PIG FOR CHIEFTAINPRINCESS RETA, CHUFFY."
Round 3
-Chuffy stabs at Piggy, after screaming "FLAME ON!", but he misses, waving air.
-Mogmurch provides flank for Chuffy and tries clobbing Piggy to no avail.
-Reta steps back, Piggy is too close for comfort.
-Piggy sidesteps 5 ft and breaths fire, but not too accurate, as Reta and Chuffy take but 1 dmg.
-Poog casts bless
Round 4
-Chuffy
-Mogmurch
-Reta
-Piggy
-Poog
"Mogmurch try again!" Mogmurch yells, and after taking a 5-foot step south that's exactly what he does.
Mogmurch now hits Piggy on the ass, not much, but he hurt it.
Chuffy takes a quick hop as the hair is singed off his toes. "Owww big hot bacon try to burn back!"
Chuffy looks for a prime spot and tries to cut out an important organ.
min 1
min 1
"Chuffy slice big bacon good!"
Chuffy slices some bacon for 9 dmg. Piggy looks furious.
Poog notices the heady smell of the pig's blood mixing with the scorching burn of his firebolt has added a delicious aroma to the immediate vicinity...
Round 4
-Chuffy slices at the bacon for 9dmg
-Mogmurch hits Piggy for 2
-Reta steps back 5ft and shoots piggy for 5 dmg.
-Piggy oinks in pain, but starts goring Chuffy, his tusks hitting the rogue viciously in the side for 13 dmg. (13/26)
-Poog's up.
Poog starts screaming obscenities at the pig, making his rage (and hunger) clear to the walking breakfast meat.
"POOG EAT FAT PIGGY THEN KILL IT, IN THAT ORDER!!!"
There is much gnashing of pointy teeth.
He starts circling around towards Chuffy, seeing his injuries.
Poog yells at Piggy, but it's not impressed. Its eyes still hunger for destruction, and perhaps its stomach for your bodies.
-Chuffy slices at the bacon for 9dmg
-Mogmurch hits Piggy for 2
-Reta steps back 5ft and shoots piggy for 5 dmg.
-Piggy oinks in pain, but starts goring Chuffy, his tusks hitting the rogue viciously in the side for 13 dmg. (13/26)
-Poog tries to intimidate Piggy, but it has no effect.
Round 5
-Chuffy
-Mogmurch
-Reta
-Piggy
-Poog
Mogmurch swings his club again after taking a 5-foot step.
He hits a toadstool instead of the piggy. "Bwah!"
Reta's eyes widen at seeing the normally unflappable Poog enraged, and she begins trying to outdo him, snapping her teeth and hopping about as she strings obscenities into compound words, as she is known to do. "CHIEFTAINPRINCESS RETA EAT PIGGY FIRST, STUPID POOG."
Somehow, she finds a moment to actually shoot her bow.
She then five-foot-steps behind Chuffy.
Reta hits Piggy with an arrow to the shoulder, though not deep.
Round 5
-Chuffy's up
-Mogmurch misses, but hits a toadstool.
-Reta hits Piggy in the shoulder for 3 dmg.
-Piggy
-Poog
Chuffy 5' step down to get flanking with Mogmurch.
"Oinker no make Chuffy bacon!"
6 fire damage
Chuffy lunges forward, driving his dogslicer into Piggy's neck.
The raging Piggy slumps to the ground.
Poog makes use of his wand of Cure Light Wounds on Chuffy:
and on his chieftain:
"This not Zarongel healing, but good enough!"
Poog starts poking the dead pig with his javelin.
"Poog pretty sure dead pig is dead." He looks to Reta, "We eat now?
"Mogmurch all hard work! He flank, you no hit without!"
Mogmurch takes a good look around to see if he'll find anything of interest on or near the piggy.
Aside from the scorchmarks Piggy has caused breathing fire upon the 4 goblins, Mogmurch sees nothing of interest.
Poog is interested in whatever the pig was swallowing right after doing his fire breathing. He will look around and try to scoop them up, if it had more.
He then carves off a few fist-sized pieces of delicious, singed pork from the pig with his short sword and puts them in random hidey holes in his clothing. Not finding any pockets left, he throws the last one in his mouth.
Speaking through the mouthful.
*Umph...* "Poowg... rweady!"
"OOOINK!!!!!!"
"Food not fight back. Bad food!"
Poog's stabbing at Piggy caused spasms. ^^
"PIG KNOW RETA SUPPOSED TO EAT FIRST."
Reta dives into the pig, gnawing and gnashing at its flesh and bones.
After some good munchy-munchy from the soft bits, since not all flesh was as edible, the goblins continue their trek to the farm.
Surrounded by a rickety wooden fence and thick mud, Munchmeat Farm slumps in a soggy valley between two low tors. A slimy-looking creek winds through the farm, which is barely anything to look at. A house in the center of the fenced-in area leans against two hefty buttresses holding up three large beams. It's balanced on numerous thick log stilts
that create a cage-like hollow in the mud below the building. North of the house are a few filthy chicken coops, and to the west an upturned boat, propped against the fence, has been built into an impromptu shelter. A shed sits to the south of the building, and south and east of this shed are a few tired stretches of garden that look like they're best at growing mud and weeds.
A single rickety farm gate allows passage through the wooden fence here, below an archway made of broken branches and bleached bones. A sign hangs from the arch, its words scrawled onto the wood with what looks like blood. Three severed, maggot-covered goblin heads sit on poles driven into the ground to the left of the gate. A second sign leans against these poles under the heads.
It says in common: "Trespsrs wil b eatn!", another says [b]"Yous gobluns taste YUM! Send moar gobluns!"
The gate is unlocked. The fence is generally about 9 feet high but is very shoddily made; you can climb over it with a successful DC 5 Climb
check or wriggle through it with a DC 12 Escape Artist check.
"Fence no stop Chuffy Up and Down Bacon Maker!"
Reta is halfway up the fence when Poog opens the gate. She quickly glances back and forth, as if contemplating whether she should get down. She finally huffs and starts climbing again. "RETA DON'T NEED POOG TO OPEN DOOR. SHE BETTER CLIMBER!"
[Spoiler=Secret]
[Spoiler]