Um... We get sixty, you get forty?
How ‘bout this deal, witch: I keep ALL MY DIAMONDS!!... ‘cause they’re MINE!!... and you get the hell out of here before I decide to turn you all into bloody, squealing monkey goop with my spittle, aye!!?
Fifty-fifty?
If you’d been classy enough to start the offer at fifty-fifty, I could at least have enough respect for you to consider you more than target practice for my CORROSIVE SPITTLE, you cheap little b+@*@!
You drive a hard bargain, as well you should, noble keeper of the diamonds... How about we get, um... forty, and you get sixty?
You’ll get stabbed by a dozen blades at once while you sleep, you greedy, beady-eyed, flying copper lizard-cat! And I’ll get you’re f$%$ing hoard and ALL the f#!@ing diamonds!!
Thursday morning, 9 AM, 18 January—less than one moon until Saint Valentine’s Feast:
It is a crisp winter morning as the Sun begins its westward climb above the eastern rooftops.
The Crusaders enjoy a fine, hot breakfast served by the Cardinal D’Borja’s courteous staff in his dining hall, entertained by English Maestro John Dunstable as he plays a marvelous set of his madrigals on his own organetto of sounding...
As he weaves masterfully crafted notes that, though played on a small keyboard, sound like fairy voices singing romantic sonnets in English, he calls out to Ogon Fox:
Please tell our mutual friend, Maestro Okumura, that I will be praying daily and nightly for his recovery from this fever you say he is indisposed with! I do hope he recovers before I must board my ship back to England... We’ve had so little precious time to enjoy each other’s company and exchange musical notes! He smirks oddly at Fox and winks before turning his attention to a particularly complex and beautiful phrase on his keyboard...
Nearby, a reformed hobgoblin bard in Lucius’ employ busily dictates the gorgeous mardigals onto manuscript paper so the Cardinal’s personal chamber choir can sing them for His Grace at a later time...
To Ogon Fox, in surprisingly refined English: And please relate to Maestro Okumura my own wishes for his speedy recovery... and my request to make copies of his manuscripts for the Emperor! I should like to entertain our good host and master, His Grace, Cardinal D’Borja with his masterful music as well...
The elf dame griffin rider gracefully dances a minuet to the colorful music that pours from the organetto, casting seductive glances at Ogon Fox...
Zagathoth’s lover and Cardinal D’Borja’s scullery maid, Molly, dances seductively as well, her green eyes casting mischievous invitations to Zagathoth...
Another of the wenches at the local tavern has taken to Johann’s great appetite for honeyed mead and adventure, and after crawling out of his bed that morning, goes about her tasks at Palazzo D’Borja, sweeping and scrubbing, but she does so with dance-like moves aimed at enticing the shapeshifter...
Zagathoth endures the temptation for nearly an entire minute before he scoops his woman up in arms and retires to his chambers for several hours.
He arrives at lunch sweaty and famished. In the midst of eating an entire roast on his own, he asks, ”does the horned-man still work on making belts and things? I like having time for making lots of sex but shouldn’t we be killing more things for the pope by now?”
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Johann watches Anabelle sway around, but he soon loses interest.
It was fun, but she was no Tringelda, nor what I imagine Rapunzel to be. Ah! To have a deeper connection... something that really gets the heart racing. Curse that Fox for seducing the proper and beautiful Dame from Deutschland with his honeyed words. Mmmmmmm.... honey.
Johann has had enough of Anabelle. With a mischievous grin, he turns into a the 20 ft long emperor cobra and slithers towards the dancing Anabelle, wrapping around her and hisses in her ear.
Johann watches Anabelle sway around, but he soon loses interest.
It was fun, but she was no Tringelda, nor what I imagine Rapunzel to be. Ah! To have a deeper connection... something that really gets the heart racing. Curse that Fox for seducing the proper and beautiful Dame from Deutschland with his honeyed words. Mmmmmmm.... honey.
Johann has had enough of Anabelle. With a mischievous grin, he turns into a the 20 ft long emperor cobra and slithers towards the dancing Anabelle, wrapping around her and hisses in her ear.
As Cobra Johann coils around her, she goes pale as a ghost, and shrieks!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!
Fainting, she collapses limply in Johann’s scaly coils!
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Johann has a hearty chuckle as he turns back into his bear-human form. But then he gives a long sigh picks her up, and starts carrying her back to her bar. On the way out, he yells to the others.
"WE ARE GETTING SOFT IN THIS LIFE. We need to be out there-defeating evil, and soon! Especially that Fox! Spends more time flirting and playing music that doing what is important in life!"
After breaking their fast at Palazzo D’Borja, the Crusaders of the Catacombs once more take up arms and muster to return to the dangerous, maze-like warren that is the stomping grounds of the Evil Enemy of God and His creatures. Somewhere within the darkness of that unknown labyrinth lies the secret stronghold of the Luciferians!
Entering again by the same familiar ways they have previously traversed and pacified, with support from the Holy Knights of Saint Michael, the Crusaders come once more to the chamber where lies the hateful shrine to Asmodeus and the magical teleportation circle, guarded by a squadron of paladins, nine strong, who salute the heroic Crusaders grimly as they come down the hewn stone stairs...
Saluting grimly as the Crusaders come down the stairs into the chamber with the teleportation circle and the vile shrine and idol of Asmodeus, nine steadfast Knights of Saint Michael greet them in Italian: Hail, Crusaders! Welcome back to your holy task! May God and Saint Michael guide your weapons against our wicked foes!
Another paladin: We have kept the way clear of dangerous monsters and vermin... And have met with no unknown trespassers since we arrived...
A third paladin: Yet, we have at times felt as though we were being watched...perhaps from afar, via magical means... to which the others agree...
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Johann takes in the face of each companion individually. Quinlan. Boga. Lucius the Lucious. Zag. The Fox. Each a good man, so to speak, in their own way. He would die for any of them.
Johann just hopes they haven't grown soft in their time of lavious living. As the paladins report on the teleportation circle, Johann starts doing stretches and squats to loosen up the muscle.
He asks Quinlan to cast mage armor on him with the pearl of power.
And without much other fanfare, turns himself into the monstrous bear! He is ready to go.
And without much other fanfare, turns himself into the monstrous bear! He is ready to go.
The paladins make way and uniformly cheer in chorus as Johann morphs into dire bear shape!
In Italian: Long live the Bear! Long live Cardinal Lucius! Long live the Fox! Long live Quinlan the Mage! Long live Boga the Hand of Jan Hus! And long live Zagathoth the Destroyer! Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!
The magic teleportation circle seems almost to call the Crusaders...
The Fox fiddles with his new belt one more time, and settles into the feeling of increased fluidity. He approaches one of the paladins, with whom he became acquainted during his martial training. With him he goes through a few moves of the defensive style he learned, like a much-shortened last sparring match. "Thank you for all your hard work with me on that, in the week past."
Lucius finds himself standing on a similar circle graven on a landing at the top of a stairway that descends into darkness...
There is a charged feeling in the air... Lucius’ hairs stand up uncannily...
[dice=Perception]d20+16
The Cardinal examines his surroundings with senses both magical and mundane.
The inquisitor cardinal detects the sound of a dry, reptilian voice muttering in Draconic, as one talking to oneself, echoing in the depths down those dark stairs... Perhaps the jingle of coins and rattle of jewels as something about the size of a horse slithers over a hoard?
The presence of magic ahead is detected...
Lucius concentrates on the magic he can detect and mentally chastises himself for not taking more time to learn Draconic.
The magic he detects comes from a copper ring on a step some thirty feet down the stairs from the landing Lucius is standing on... It appears to radiate faint abjuration magic...
Johann steps through the portal... passing through, he immediately lifts his snout and sniffs the air...
[dice=smelling the air (perception)]d20+13
A bouquet of scents: the smell Johann has smelt in the air during lightning storms; a smell of copper; and an unfamiliar, unpleasant, reptilian musk...
[dice=Spellcraft]d20+7
Lucius attempts to discern the ring's enchantments...
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"There is a dragon ahead." Lucius whispers in the bear's large ear. [smaller]"Cover me while I collect the ring ahead of us."
Lucius takes a moment to cast Silence on a copper piece, which he holds in hand as he carefully approaches the ring before collecting it and returning to Johann, leaving the copper piece behind him on the stair so that he can speak again.
"This will help someone resist electricity." He murmurs.
The Fox watches Lucius and then the Bear vanish from where they stand on the circle, nods one last time at the paladins, and then follows his companions into the unknown...
On arrival, he picks up the signal from Lucius and makes efforts to be discreet in his movements.
A Draconic rumbling echoes faintly in the darkness down the stairs...
Ssrraax sshallashk zrraggrr... Drriix sshlizzix grryrryzzt...
Zagathoth hesitates for a moment, wondering how long it might be from the time he enters the circle until he can next make sex. When he realizes that even the fox has stepped through already he rushes into the circle with doomcresent drawn.
Zagathoth's eyes go wide as he dutifully picks up the ring and puts it on. "We are going to kill a dragon for the pope?" he asks seeming rather impressed.
The silence coin keeps the heroes’ discussion from reaching the dragon’s ears, and it keeps the dragon’s musings from reaching their ears as well...
Once the entire party has passed through the teleport gate, they assume a strategic marching order and begin a cautious descent of the stairs, checking for traps or alarms, but finding none. Descending in silence, the party retrieves the silenced coin and carries it along as they navigate the bending corridor at the bottom of the stairs.
Another corridor branches off to the west before the main passageway enters the terraced chamber of the dragon... A pale glow emanates from that direction, opalescent in color... The main way also glows with an azure radiance that reminds one of being underwater... or perhaps it is an electric blue glow that crackles ahead...
Left into the chamber with the many strange symbols on the floor tiles? Or straight into the dragon’s lair?