As soon as Panros received the slap, he turned and grunted at Sela.
"Listen tutz, I've half a mind to keep you locked up here. No one, and I mean no one does that to the great Panros Grunyar Lorearthen!" he said with a voice that bellowed throughout the cavern.
"Obviously, yall were so bad enough to end up enslaved by creatures the size of children!"
Puffing his chest, the dwarf reached for small pouch that rested upon his left patch. Undoing it's button and producing a small cigar, he produced a tindertwing and lit the device, taking a large drag before blowing smoke in the direction of Sela.
"Now then. You're deadbeat o'er there's gon be fine. What won't be fine is that we're looking at a cavern filled with them buggers. Unless you wanna remained where you've been for months, then I suggest you start behavin, otherwise I'll do good on my word and leave ye here. Understand, tutz"? said Panros to Sela, who seemed to be the leader of the captives.
Sela shrieks, grabbing the cigar out of Panros's mouth and dashing it across the ground. Her teeth grit, she scrambles to lift her limp husband.
"You are an abomination of a man, dwarf. May your family rot beneath Desna's skies and stay forever in your horrible caves!" Slowly but surely, she drags her husband in the direction of the exit. It's slow going, and it's not clear if they'll actually make it out alive.
The rather worn Bophre looks on with trepidation. She's grabbed one of the chains - probably the one had held her to the wall - and brandishes it like a weapon, but her eyes reveal a sense of terror.
"You're not really going to let them wander off alone, are ya?"
You are an abomination of a man, dwarf. May your family rot beneath Desna's skies and stay forever in your horrible caves!
Panros eyes the woman patiently, and wipes his beard from the fallen ash and tobacco leaves.
"Really tutz, that's supposed to be an insult? I'm a dwarf if you haven't realized that." He then walked over towards where the cigar had been tossed, picked it up, and gingerly brushed off the damage that had been done. "And ye can curse me all ye want, Sela. Your whimsical butterfly of a Goddess got you here. Why don'tcha ask her for her help?" Adding insult to injury, he mocks the woman by forming a butterfly shaped shadow puppet thanks to a nearby torch. "Look, ye can pray to her. Maybe she'll grace you with better luck, ha!"
Satisfied by making Sela feel worse, Panros picked up his remaining bolts and wandered towards the entrance of the kobold jail. Scanning the adjacent room, he signaled towards the others to follow.
Sela spit on Panros's boot.
"Then go back to your cavemen friends and leave us folk alone. I'd rather have stayed a slave than be rescued by the likes of you! At least your friend there has the decency to keep his yap shut!"
Sela stormed - well, stumbled - off, her dying husband draped over her back as best she could manage. Somewhere, in the distance, a butterfly weeps.
Aside from the prisoners, the room appears to hold nothing of value. Piles of various mundane equipment suggest the labors that the slaves had to perform - weaving ropes, tanning hides, and crafting minor articles and tools. The conditions reek of squalor and abuse, to say nothing of the small. No other exits led out of the room.
Bophre stood, chain in hand, watching Sela and Carlo walk off into the darkness with a meager torch.
"You can't seriously be... leaving them? They'll never make it!"
"Buggers" said Panros as he crossed his arms and wiped his boot on a nearby rock.
The nerve of that woman. Perhaps living within this squalor of a cave is best for her!
Still, the idea that two individuals, who had just earned their freedom were wandering about a cavern with untold dangers.
At Brok's glance, Panros rolled his eyes and unfolded his arms. "Fine!"
Sela hadn't gotten far, only managing to stumble her way into the previous corridor. The torch in her hand drooped, and the fatigue from weeks of imprisonment had clearly weighed upon her.
In her anger, she refused to even notice the dwarf's approach.
Panros couldn't help but sigh at the woman's determination. Even for a human, she was equally stubborn, a trait that one would associate with dwarves.
Arriving at a space next to Sela, Panros continued to patronize the woman.
"Listen toots, I admire your tenacity, I really do, but at this rate, you're gonna get us all killed, and I can't let that happen."
Sensing that his words fell upon deaf ears, Panros motioned to Brok. Upon his ally's approach, the dwarf whispered to the druid.
"Brok, we can't risk bringing them further in the cavern. That Sela's gonna sell us out with her loud yapper. I posit that if we can leave them somewhere, we can clear out this warren, and be on our way. Your thoughts?"
The druid shrugged. Sela didn't seem particularly interested in listening. She reminded Brok of a half-rabid senile bobcat that had gotten lost and found itself in the Verduran forest.
"Sounds good, I guess," he mumbled. "There has to be a better way than killing all the little lizard-guys, though. They're mean little buggers, sure- but killing all of them seems... rude? Maybe they just wanted some 'leaf, man."
Sela visibly cringes at the mention of being stuffed in a back room until the coast was clear.
"I am not going to sit idling by and wait! You're going to wander off and die, and then what will become of us? Dead!"
Slowly, Bophre nodded. "I hate to agree with Sela... but I do. Can't you just lead us out of here?" She gripped her improvised chain-flail a little harder, as though wishing she was more capable. Or more armed. She moved a little closer to Brok, giving him the best puppy dog eyes that a worn slave-girl could muster."Please? Even if it's just to the road..."
Had the situation would've been better, Panros may have looked towards monopolizing on the situation, but any additional time spent with Sela and her gang of captives brought the Dwarf closer towards filling a tankard and mulling over the day. Somewhere on his list, Sela joined the ranks of Doalgari, though she held a special category - dumb toots.
A groan exhaled from the Alchemist, and he pointed towards the stair case the stood at the other end of the room.
"We're going there, and then to the right. The path'll lead us out." And just under his breath, "and good riddance"
It only takes a matter of minutes for the train of beaten and battered prisoners - Sela still struggling with her unconscious husband and Bophre clutching her chain like it would fly away without her - to make it to the outside.
Immediately, the conscious pair of prisoners take long, deep breaths. Bophre casts her eyes to the sky, and her eyes begin to tear up. "I thought I was going to die in there..."
"If the bearded devil had his way, you would, honey."
Shaking off Sela's comment, Bophre turned back to the heroes. "This is the old quarry, isn't it? There's an old road up top of the cliff there. We can follow that back to Belhaim. Should be safe in the daylight, too."
"Well, I guess that's it for them. We'll see you back in Bellhaim!" He said while waiting within the threshold of the Kobold Cavern.
Though, seeing that Brok didn't stir, Panros called out to him.
"Brok, we're sent by the Lady Devy to remove dangers, not deal with whiny captives! I suggest we return to the task at hand, les dem buggers regroup, aye?"
After a moment, the druid nods. He takes out a bit of flayleaf, and prepares his pipe.
"I suppose so..." He inhaled deeply, and Rufus scrambled up to his shoulder to inhale a few of the rogue vapors. "Though I can't help but imagine they'd be a lot less murderous if they'd just had some 'leaf. It's all those caves, Parglo. You're just as angry as them! Gotta get some sun, some trees, and some 'leaf."
After a moment, the druid nods. He takes out a bit of flayleaf, and prepares his pipe."I suppose so..." He inhaled deeply, and Rufus scrambled up to his shoulder to inhale a few of the rogue vapors. "Though I can't help but imagine they'd be a lot less murderous if they'd just had some 'leaf. It's all those caves, Parglo. You're just as angry as them! Gotta get some sun, some trees, and some 'leaf."
"I'll stick to meh extracts and potions, buddy."
Satisfied that the captives had made their slow progress back towards Bellhaim, Panros motioned Brok to come back within the Kobold Cavern. "We's gots a job to finish, and more coin to fill our purse. Savvy?" he said while half grinning at Sela's absence.
With a shrug, Brok simply said, "Your loss."
Grunting, Panros motioned for the unexplored cavern entrance, figuring that more danger and kobolds laid there. In any case, he was worried about Sela coming back and sabotaging his dungeon raid.
Hell have no fury like that of a scorned woman
Pulling out his crossbow once more and reloading a bolt, he moved forward.
Taking the southern ingress, Panros and Brok carefully ducked their heads and squeezed into the kobolds' tiny tunnels. Proceeding down the narrow and cramped corridor and deeper into unknown caverns, they went about forty or fifty feet and stopped.
The tunnel forked, with one passage heading to the north, and the other continuing on. It looks as though the northern passage may open into a chamber.
Desperate for breathing room, Panros chose the former and shimmed towards the northern of the two passages.
Ugh, this cave ain't made for a dwarf. All this needless shifting and cavernous tubes. If I had my way, I'd easily set a charge big enough to make a gaping hole and carve a proper system. Filthy kobolds
Panros hefts his crossbow high, not trusting the larger room to be safe. Making his way up the northern passage, it quickly grows wider and its height vaults up, until it is nearly a dozen feet high within the chamber. A small firepit lay on the other side of a trench in the middle of the room, its fires dancing. A few hunks of indeterminate meat suggest recent use. Three rock ledge jut outward from the walls, on the north, south, and western sides.
The trench looks rather deep - perhaps ten or twenty feet deep, and a single natural bridge extends across its midsection. As Panros took another step forward, he froze. There was a scratching noise - slight, but definitely there - coming from the eastern of the rock platforms. No kobold was visible, but keen dwarven senses told him that something was there.
There - another noise. This time from the western platform.
And that uneasy feeling of being watched.
Panros inched further into the chamber, aware that something or someone was making weird scratching sounds. He couldn't just turn back, especially after giving Brok numerous speeches in the past. He was a dwarf after all, a silly, ignorant, special kind of dwarf.
While Brok cautiously followed his friend, Panros bluntly charged into the room. As he crossed the narrow bridge to the other side of the room, casting a quick glance into the trench below, a yelping cry echoed across the room.
His eyes shot up, and saw exactly what he expected - kobolds. Three of them, on each of the platforms. He hefted his crossbow high, spat, and fired. It glanced off the rocky side of the ledge, though it still stuck in the arm of one of the little lizards. It screeched out in a reptilian tongue, and began to twirl its sling.
They all did.
The sound of whirling stone and cloth filled the room as Panros and Brok readied themselves.
East Platform Kobold 1 (the runner) 5/5
2 5/5
3 5/5
West Platform 4 5/5
5 5/5
6 5/5
North Platform 7 5/5
8 5/5
9 5/5
Panros said as he reloaded his crossbow with anger and eyed his targets.
Platforms, eh? HAH! Make 'em easier targets as old grandpa Bunta once said
Among the kobolds that shot at him, one in particular caught his interest - the one who had suffered the fabled - Grunyar-Sticky-Shot. Satisfied that his introductory weapon had done such a number on the kobold, he knew that he was bound for greatness. Hefting his crossbow to a precise aim, he went to finish off that very kobold.
"Look Brok! We's gots a welcoming party! Let's show 'em how we roll!"
Grabbing his own sling, Brok loaded a bullet into the pouch and began to swing, aiming for the northernmost of the ledges. Rufus, ever anxious to feast on the flesh of kobolds, leapt from Brok's shoulder and scurried to climb up the western ledge.
2 5/5
3 5/5
West Platform 4 5/5
5 5/5
6 5/5
North Platform 7 5/5
8 5/5
9 5/5
Brok does his best to land a blow with his sling, but the cover provided by the kobolds' higher ground makes a shot just a little out of Brok's league. Rufus sprints across the room, but not before the kobolds begin to launch their attack.
The three closest to Brok and Rufus send their attacks at the druid, while the kobolds perched on the north and eastern walls open fire on the exposed dwarf.
Perhaps the only blessing was that kobolds were even worse shots than Brok. Despite their high ground, the hail of sling bullets fails to find any purchase on Panros, even as the rocks dink into the stone floor around him. Swinging his crossbow wildly, he settles his sight on a familiar face.
The kobold from the beach. The one who ran. With the snap of the bowstring, the bolt launched and knocked the little lizard man flat on his back.
Brok did not fare quite as well - as a sling bullet nearly impacted his head. With his free hand, he quickly reached up and batted it away. It would leave a welt, but little more.
Calling out to the chamber of kobolds before him, Panros erupted a ruckus.
Rushing to a spot that gave him ample range, Panros lobbed a grenade at the nearest cluster of kobolds.
As Rufus scampered up the last bit of rock wall, he found himself face to face with a trio of kobolds. Teeth bared, he immediately tried to sink his teeth into the nearest one.
Brok, meanwhile, grabbed another sling bullet and send it flying across the room, aimed at the same set of kobolds.
East Platform Kobold 1 (the runner) 0/5
2 5/5
3 5/5
West Platform 4 -1/5
5 4/5
6 5/5
North Platform 7 5/5
8 5/5
9 5/5
As Brok launches his projectile across the room, a resounding clunk fills the room as blood spouts from one of the kobolds' heads, the little reptile hitting the floor with a similar thud. Rufus, seeing his opening, jumps on the nearest target, though his teeth only inflict a minor wound.
Defending their perch, the kobolds grab their spears and jab at Rufus, though the little badger is just a tad too difficult to get a real hit on. The other kobolds laughed at the ambushed dwarf, sending a hail of rock towards Panros as they cackled and jabbered on in their tongue. As the dwarf readied his alchemical explosive, they bounced off his head and chest. One of the kobolds, however, became tangled in his own sling - and tumbled forward off the ledge. As the man's skin bruised and bled, he readied his attack.
Hurling it with all of his might, Panros discovered the unfortunate side effect of being pelted with rocks - poor accuracy. Landing just a little too short, the bomb misses the ledge and explodes harmlessly beneath the kobolds of the eastern ledge.
"YEEOUCH!" said the Alchemist as once again, he was beaned with a flurry of rocks. One day, he'll have to create some sort of protection system against stones, particularly the kind that isn't dwarven.
Foiled at his previous attempt, Panros is ever determined to finish the kobolds once and for all.
Switching his attention towards the eastern pocket of kobolds, Panros hustles over using the momentum to toss another bomb!
"EAT THIS YOU SONS OF SCALEY DUNG!!!!"
With a pair of kobolds before him with spears, Rufus bares his teeth and leaps at the closest one, a flurry of claw leading his charge.
Afraid to hit his little buddy, and fairly certain that the mad badger would prefer to finish his opponents on his own, Brok turned his attention towards the northernmost platform - and launched another rock towards the slingers.
East Platform Kobold 1 (the runner) 0/5
2 5/5
3 5/5
West Platform 4 -1/5
5 -2/5
6 5/5
North Platform 7 5/5
8 5/5
9 5/5 (No longer on platform)
While Brok's bullet falls short and tumbles down into the trench, Rufus's teeth find great purchase in the center of the nearest kobold. The little lizard screeches, filling the room with exasperated howling pain before falling silent.
The remaining kobold defends himself with his spear, but his panicked state prevents him from landing a hit. The fallen kobold - spouting what could only have been expletives in his native tongue - stood and grabbed his spear, snarling at the dwarf. The others launched their combined attacked, aimed at Panros...
And struck the alchemical bomb he was in the process of preparing. The man's eyes go wide as the concoction's catalytic process begins too early - and the glass shatters in his hand...
And the flames engulf him, licking at his beard, flesh scorched and bruised. The heavens hath no fury like a Desna scorned.
A rock had broken Panros' bomb. A mere earthen object had not only ruined a specially crafted volatile cocktail of death, but its contents had charred Panros' flesh, singed his beard, and worse of all - made him look like a complete fool. Perhaps upsetting the Capricious Goddess wasn't his best move, but the Mad Alchemist would persevere - one way or another.
Wiping away the charred bits of his beard, Panros eyed the crowd of Kobolds that had mocked him to no break.
"You all have this coming to ye. Play time is over!"
In a quick instant, Panros produced forth two alchemical looking objects. His right hand contained a small but thick jar which contained the most amazing blue sparkling liquid that anyone has seen.
And in his dominant hand held a curious shaped bottle. Its contents were obscured by dark glass.
Using his thumbs to pop the corks simultaneously, the Alchemist downed the contents with earnest. And then...something began to happen.
The damage that he had earned from his constant forays with the kobolds seemed to slowly disappear! Dark bruises changed to the dwarf's natural complexion. Pellet holes patched themselves up, and more notable, the Dwarf's beard grew back.
Before Panros could continue, he started to gag and grasp for air, as if he ingested something poisonous. Seconds later, he grew in size, and looked bestial, like an amalgamation of stone and flesh.
As he took his new form, the dwarf felt much different. As if he was the stone!
With only one kobold still standing before him, Rufus leaped at its face, claws slashing through the air.
Seeing that Rufus had his ledge well in hand, Brok turned his attention to the kobold that had 'jumped' down and readied its spear. Swinging his sling, he launched a rock at its head.
2 5/5
3 5/5
West Platform 4 -1/5
5 -2/5
6 5/5
North Platform 7 5/5
8 5/5
9 2/5 (No longer on platform)
Blinded by his own fury, Rufus failed to find a weak point in the kobold's light armor and scaly flesh. As his attacks fell by harmlessly, the kobold lunged forward with his spear, inflicting a hit!
Meanwhile, the kobold who was now eye-level with the dwarf charged - taking a sling rock across his forehead as he charged. His aim thrown off by the attack, his spear glances across Panros's armor, giving him minor bruises but nothing more.
Panros, hardly deterred by the beast attacking him, lifts his heavy mutagen vial and downs the concoction with a grin. Immediately he feels its effects bolstering his immune system and hastening the natural healing processes.
roared the dwarf as his altered state took form. The chemicals raced through his brain, slowing some synapses, and unbalancing others. Amid his stupor, he felt rage, more than normal.
Without so much of a second thought, Panros brandished a small jar that contained an amber like liquid. Holding it up so that the Kobolds could see, he shook it's contents and roared with a mighty laughter.
Rufus attempts to finish off his remaining kobold, while Brok loads another bullet and sends it flying - panic rising in the back of the usually-calm druid's mind as he sees Panros take hit, after hit, after hit.
Usually it was Brok who was taking the hits. Of flayleaf.
2 5/5
3 5/5
West Platform
6 3/5
North Platform 7 5/5
8 5/5
9 -2/5 (No longer on platform)
While Rufus sank his teeth into the kobold, throwing its spear's accuracy off, Brok send a bullet sailing across the room - and into the spearman harrying Panros's skull. As the kobold hit the dirt, the rest launched a volley at Panros - clearly upset at the alchemist for ruining their ambush with his dwarven fortitude. Fortunately for the lizards, Panros displayed not an ounce of dwarven agility, as multiple rocks rebounded off his head.
Panros angrily thought to himself as he was pelted, yet again, by fist sized stones.
Somewhere within the unstable alchemist erupted a war cry that hearkened the pride of his ancestors.
Furious that his target still stood, Rufus bared his teeth and assaulted the creature with all of his might, trying to tear through the kobold's scales with every fiber of his being. And over the roar of a tiny badger's anger, Brok loaded another bullet and sent it flying.
While Brok's sling fell short, a spurting fountain of kobold blood proved the scale of damage inflicted by Rufus. The tiny lizard fell before the equally small badger, while Panros hefted another bomb high in his hand.
Before he could do anything, though, the kobolds gave a rallying battle cry, and aimed all of their remaining forces at the dwarf. In their panic, only one of them managed to score a hit - a glancing blow against the dwarf's knee. While it stung, the hardy fellow shrugged it off, gave a foul-tempered grin, and threw his latest concoction at the eastern shelf...
Which promptly exploded, incinerating both kobolds in a torrent of fire. They dropped to the ground, clutching at their charred, scaly flesh.
2 0/5
3 0/5
West Platform
6 -1/5
North Platform 7 5/5
8 5/5
With little options left, and personality, Panros continued to hurl insults and slurs towards the leathery skinned creatures that had been his bane since joining the adventure.
While Rufus scurried his blood-soaked way back to Brok, the slightly mad druid loaded another bullet and fired.
North Platform 7 4/5
8 5/5
Unfortunately for Panros, the battered dwarf took another hit from a new direction. Casting a quick glance towards his assailant, a confused druid offered a sheepish grin.
Inspired by dwarven rage, he lifted his crossbow and fired again - but scored only a minor blow through a kobold's arm. As the creature yelped out, it dropped its sling and held its claws up.
"Yarp, dar thal sko kal?"
Pelted with another rock, Panros was horrified to see that it was his comarde at arms that scored such a hit.
"JOINEN DEM PURSES, EH?" said Panros as he sputtered and frowned at Brok.
Panros grunted and roared, sensing that the kobold that had dropped its weapon was cursing some foul extremity or perhaps casting magic. In his altered state, not even a coherent Panros would allow such an action to go unpunished.
Fumbling to load his light crossbow with another quarrel, he took aim and bellowed, "YEAH! ILL YARP PAR CARP YE!!!" as he shot at the unarmed kobold.
"Uh, sorry... You're looking a little bruised, though, Parkour..."
Brok grabbed his sling and tried again, this time aiming a little higher.
Meanwhile, Rufus ran his little legs across the room, joining Panros near the center...
With another crossbow bolt flying across the room - and missing - the kobolds began to screech in an even higher pitch than before. Scrambling as fast their legs could move them, they jumped forward and off of the ledge.
North Platform 7 2/5
8 5/5
There's a sickening crack of bone as one of the kobolds hits the ground and rolls face first onto the rocky cavern floor. The other, however, begins to bolt for the exit. Unfortunately for him, Panros blocks the only bridge out of the eastern side of the room.
"NO. NOT RUNNING AWAY DIS TIME BOY!!!!" roared the belligerent dwarf as he fit another quarrel and fire upon the kobold in range.
Rufus saw a kobold charging at him. He knew what he had to do.
He returned the favor.
Brok hastily stashed his sling at his side and grabbed his staff, moving to the opposite end of the little stone causeway and bracing for impact.
"You are not allowed to move past this point! Or something not-so-subtly hinting at a specific moment beyond the quasi-dimensional rift in spacetime and occurring concurrently with this moment in at least four other parallel universes!"
8 -5/5
While an angry Panros pierces through the kobold before him with a bolt, Rufus hastily charges up and misses his attacks because of his insatiable bloodlust. The kobold wastes no time in running past the pair...
And skirts past Rufus, only to come face to face with a large druidic fellow. Brok grins as he lowers his staff...
And cracks the kobold across the head, sending him sprawling down into the ravine.
The sole surviving kobold stands, whimpers, and backs himself against the wall, hands outstretched in an expression of surrender.
bellowed the belligerent brute as he eyed the new game. To Panros, Kobold were on a list where he'd grant no mercy. The list was long, and probably rivaled an Abadites ledger, where somewhere near the top of that list was Doalgari.
Tossing his crossbow to the ground, Panros brandished his family's warhammer, an item that hardly qualified as an heirloom as his brothers had earned the better weapons from the Lorearthen Clan.
Now, in more earnest times, Panros may have bestowed his pedrigree and accomplishments before his foe, but Kobolds didn't deserve that privelidge. Hoisting the heavy weapon, he brought it's flat side upon the cowering lizard, and attempted to reduce it to paste.
As the dwarf stomps up to the kobold, the poor little lizard begins to quiver. It knows that its life is about to end, and wishes it had made peace with his gods.
The dwarf's hammer comes down, and the kobold's skull explodes, spattering Panros with fragments of bone and muscle.
A strange silence falls over the room, with only the heavy breathing of a (very) battered dwarf filling the void.