
DM DoctorEvil |

"Aid!" the old man wails in the face of Qorinae, "Aid! Is that what you gave. You and your friends are nothing more than a filthy bunch of vagrants! I wouldn't be surprised to learn your company put the gobling up to the assault so you could garner a free meal or two..." and with that comment he swipes your meal, dishes and all, onto the floor.
Just as you are about to respond, the door from the kitchen opens, and a flustered Ameiko bolts out, still wearing a kitchen apron and holding a soup ladle in one hand.

Ameiko K |

"Father!" she yells horrified at the scene and his words. He turns to her and they unleash a torrent of words and gestures in a foreign language.
It is obvious he his ordering her about and she is standing her ground, her anger obviously rising as well.
"No!" she yells at him her face filled with rage. "I will NOT!" and an outrageous string of profanity follows.
Enraged by her response, the older man grabs for the lovely bard trying to entwine is fingers in her hair. Ameiko dodges his grasp, and brains him with her soup ladle, spattering fish stock and potatoes all over herself and her father.
Wounded in pride, and shocked to silence the father stops. He looks at Ameiko raising a trembling finger to point in her face. "That is the last straw! You're as dead to me as your mother!" and with that he turns on his heel and storms out of the Inn, slamming the door loudly as he exits.
Ameiko stands defiant until he leaves, then collapses in tears

Tiberiu Banderosi |

Tiberiu goes instantly to Ameiko and touches her gently on the shoulder. "Is there anything I can do, Lady Ameiko? I'd not say it in other circumstances, but if what I just saw of your father is his standard behavior, you might be well shut of him." He sighs. "My own father was a good man, but I saw plenty grow up in cruel and abusive conditions." He smiles crookedly. "Best to cut those ties, when possible."
Sense Motive: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (12) - 1 = 11
Tiberiu is too distracted by Ameiko's appearance to spare much of a thought for the father.

Ameiko K |

As Tiberiu speaks softly to the bard, she straightens up and inspects the soup ladle, pulling a hair out of the mess and says, "Guess I'll need a well-cleaned ladle now, since jackass stew's not on the menu..." The comment elicits a hearty laugh and cheer from the crowd in the inn, and Ameiko's attitude improves immensely as a result.
She approaches your table speaking softly, "And now you've met my father Lonjiku. Helluva a guy really. Very open-minded. I apologize for the display and his insults to you. Your heroism is not to be denigrated, but rather celebrated. Please accept my apology and stay with us for free for another week, if you would."
She smiles, waiting for your response.

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Slaynn smiles.
"Your father's words are not your own though your gracious words proves beyond doubt that you are more than your father in spirit. Your offer is generous but I fear to overstay our welcome."
His stomach growls.
"I would like more stew if you'd be so kind."

Ameiko K |

"Gladly, my friend." she says and leans to give Slaynn a kiss on the cheek. "Have as much as you will, there is more than enough."
With that, she returns to the kitchen to finish preparations, whistling a happy tune as she goes.
The PC's each earn 100xp Story Award for playing along with this dramatic scene and not causing any bloodshed or irreparable harm. That bonus should give you 822/1300 xp or about 63% to level 2.

Tiberiu Banderosi |

Tiberiu sighs wistfully as Ameiko heads off to deal with the business of running the inn, but then busies himself with his stew and ale, and heads to bed. Tomorrow... he thinks to himself as he drifts off toward sleep. Tomorrow, whatever happens with these goblins, I must see if I can get an act at that theater...

DM DoctorEvil |

Just before they retire, the boys catch the eye of a comely young lass in the Inn. She is well-proportioned with glittering red hair and a winsome smile. She appears to be with her friend, a raven-haired beauty and her friend's beau, a dark bearded man with dark shifty eyes. The red-head notices you, and smiles, winking at the table full of heroes.
Her flirtations are cut short as the sister and boyfriend seem to get into an argument and then get up to leave. The buxom red-head waves good bye and blows you a kiss, but then departs.
Pic of Buxom Red-Head I promise there will be more to come on this front later.
End of Day, 22 Rova 4707

DM DoctorEvil |

Morning, 23 Rova 4707
Your blissful sleep is distrubed by a slight knocking on the door. "Excuse me sirs," says the voice of the matronly Bethany, hostess of the Inn. "The Sheriff is here and asking for you. He asked me to wake you. Breakfast is ready and hot, come down and eat."
She leaves you to prepare and you do find the Sheriff in the common room, a steaming mug of coffee in his hand. Breakfast is laid out, bacon, eggs, rolls, and jam.

Sherriff Belor Hemlock |

As you begin to filter down and eat, the Sheriff addresses you. "Sorry for the early morning, I know how heroes need their beauty sleep and all. But Shalelu Androsana, the local ranger is here this morning, and I thought you might like to attend her briefing. She'll tell us all about the local goblins and any trouble stirring in the hinterlands. Grab some grub to go, and let's get moving. Shalelu is not patient, as you'll see for yourselves."

Tiberiu Banderosi |

The night before...
Tiberiu coughs slightly and tightens his scarf when he notices the young redhead's flirtations. "Well. Then. Er..." And with that, he vanishes upstairs.
In the morning!
Tiberiu wakes groggily and heads downstairs, staring at Hemlock bleary-eyed. "You got a real knack for killing the joy inherent in a hangover, you know that, Sheriff?" He swipes a roll, some jam, and knocks back a slug of coffee. "All right. Lead the way!"

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Slaynn enjoys the rest of his meal before retiring for the night.
In the early light though, Slaynn can already be found in the bar holding a flagon of fresh cool water. Upon seeing the Sheriff and hearing his news, Slaynn nods and grabs a loaf to go.

Qorinae |

Qorinae seems close to drawing on the old man when Ameiko comes out and the whole situation turns perfectly incomprehensible. Fortunately, Tiberiu seemed to have things under control, and the elf sat down, quietly for once. As he was trying to understand how someone could misunderstand everything so completely, a stunning redhead entered and gave him a wink full of promise. He gave her an appreciative grin and a leer to match.
@ GM: Was this the same buxom redhead Qorinae was flirting at before? Shayliss, I think.
Once again, his suave seduction was interrupted by combat, though this time a lover's quarrel rather than a goblin attack. He stands up to go investigate the pressing redhead situation, but finds that someone has spiked his ale with more ale, and instead stumbles up to his room to sleep it off.
When morning comes, he squints unhappily at everything and everyone, but follows the others to see Shalelu.

Uuli |

Uuli has his fill of boar and ale before retiring for the night.
When morning comes, he notes "I'd like to hear that briefing. Let's be on our way if she is impatient."
Rough few days of RL, should be back to normal posting now.

Sherriff Belor Hemlock |

Qorinae, so it is. Sorry I forgot that part from prior to my involvement. It is indeed the same lass, so you can re-enact the scene, but still she leaves before any new action happens.
You follow the Sheriff to the Town Hall. Up in his office you find the mayor, Kendra Deverin, a proper auburn haired woman and the elven ranger Shalelu Andosana whose icy demeanor puts you on the defensive almost immediately.
Hemlock introduces Shalelu as an "unofficial member of Sandpoint's town guard", which causes the elven ranger to smirk. He then introduces you as "Sandpoint's newest crop of goblin killers."
"Shalelu has been busy lately. A day ago, a farm south of the Mosswood was burned to the ground by a group of goblins. She was nearby and was able to rescue the family and drive the goblins off. Obviously our goblin problem isn't going away."

Shalelu the Ranger |

After the introductions are made, Shalelu unrolls a map of the lands around Sandpoint and addresses you, speaking in a clear voice, her words clipped and not wasteful.
"Belor's told me of your work against the goblins—well done. I've dedicated the last several years of my life to keeping them from causing too much trouble around these parts, but they’re tenacious and fecund little runts. Like weeds that bite."
"Anyway, there's five major goblin tribes in the region, and, traditionally,they’re pretty good at keeping each other in line with inter-tribal squabbles and the like. Yet from what I've been able to piece together, members of all five tribes were involved in the raid on Sandpoint. A fair amount of the Mosswood tribe goblins I dealt with yesterday were already pretty beat up, and there was a lot of chatter about the 'longshanks' who killed so many of them. Now that I've met you, it seems obvious from their descriptions who they were talking about. Seems like you've made an impression."
"In any event, the fact that the five tribes are working together disturbs me. Goblin tribes don’t get along unless they've got something big planned, and big plans require big bosses. I’m afraid that someone’s moved in on the goblins and organized them. And judging by these recent raids,what they’re organizing seems like bad news for all of us."

Tiberiu Banderosi |

Tiberiu swallows slightly, a bit on edge thanks to Shalelu's icy demeanor. "Makes sense, I suppose." He looks curiously at the map. "You range over quite the area! So the goblins you saw were just south of the Mosswood..." he plants a finger on the forest on the map. "Where are the other tribes? Any guesses as to where this kingpin might be lurking?"

Shalelu the Ranger |

"As I said, there are five major goblin tribes near here." says the cold ranger. "The nearest of them are the Birdcruncher's who live in caves along the western edge of The Devil's Platter. The 'Cruncher's are usually not very aggressive."
"To the south are the Licktoad goblins of the Brinestump Marsh. They are led by Rendwattle Gutwad, their obese chieftain. There is also Vorka, a goblin cannibal who also lives in the Brinestump but away from the rest of the tribe."
"East of town are the Seven Tooth goblins of Shank's Wood. These are often seen raiding Sandpoint's junkyard and refuse pile scrounging for food and weapons. Their champion, Koruvus, is well-known for his short temper and prized possession - a human-sized longsword said to be magical. Supposedly, Koruvus has disappeared after finding a "secret hideout" in a cave along the cliffs."
"Farther east are the Mosswood goblins, the largest tribe, but unusually susceptible to in-fighting . Their leader is Big Gugmurt who is tall as a man, and quite muscular."
"The final tribe is the Thistletop Tribe. They live on a small island off the coast of the Nettlewood which is only accessible by a rope bridge. Their chief is Ripnugget and he is probably the canniest of the tribal leaders, reveling in his easily defensible little island."
"Lastly, there is Bruzathamus. He is a bugbear, larger cousin of the goblins, and he has been terrorizing travelers and merchants along the Lost Coast Road. He hates elves in general and me in particular. We have skirmished many times, but neither of us has gained the upper hand so far."
She points her finger on the map at each place, showing the locations to you as she speaks. Finally, she looks up. "As you can see, the goblins are all around you, and they are stirred up."

Sherriff Belor Hemlock |

The Sheriff sighs as he hears this briefing and looks at the mayor. "As I was afraid of Your Honor. We don't have the men or defenses to make a stand if the goblins attack us again, and if they're going to raid the hinterlands, we need more soldiers to stop them."
"With your permission, I want to journey to Magnimar and ask the gendarmes there to spare some men to aid in our patrols and defense."
He asks Shalelu to sniff around Shank's Wood, Brinestump, Mosswood, and the Devil's Platter, looking for the goblins and trying to discern their plans.
He asks you to stay in Sandpoint, and make a public presence of themselves. "The locals seem to have taken a liking to you, and seeing you in town will keep worries to a minimum over the next few days. I shall return in 4 days or so, hopefully with a company of well-trained soldiers."

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Slaynn whistles as he sees the map.
"That's alot of goblins."
Leaning back, Slaynn continues.
"So you want us to be the patrols while Shalelu sniffs out more information. I guess while you're getting soldiers here, we could play the part. We'll have to check every single house to ensure they don't have goblins hiding in their ermm trash and whatnots. What to teh rest of you think?"

Uuli |

After listening to Shalelu talk about the various goblin tribes, Uuli describes the token that they found on the goblin prisoner. "Which tribe would wear that symbol?" he asks. Then, adding a little bit of extra information, "This tribe seems to be involved with the brains behind the raids."
Asking a bit more Uuli wonders, "Have you ever seen a human or elf work with any of the tribes?"
Listening to the Sherriff's plan, Uuli shrugs. "We could help here for sure. I do think time is of a prime importance, though. If 5 tribes of goblins mount a coordinated assault the four of us may not be enough to stem the tide."

Tiberiu Banderosi |

Tiberiu snorts derisively. "May not be enough?! Uuli, if five tribes of goblins attack this town, we're going to be picking the pieces out of the ocean. It'll be worse than Dresdale." He shutters slightly. "No, we definitely cannot let things come to that."
To say nothing of the fact that if things do come to that, I'm as like to turn and run as anything else...
He stares over the map, idly tracing his fingers over the spots Shalelu described. "It sounds like the Birdcrunchers and the Seven Tooths--Seven Teeth? Teeths?--are the most likely to yield quick results, since they're the closest tribes. And the Seven...Dentals...have that champion...makes me think that there might be something to look into there. If you don't mind focusing your investigations, that is, Shalelu."
He frowns, thinking back. "Didn't that token have seven spokes or something? Hey--actually, I think it had seven little spikes." He looks up, face grave. "Definitely should take a look at the ones in Shank's Wood, I'm thinking."

Qorinae |

Qorinae listens, his head spinning with dreams of conquering goblins, and is very nearly ready to rush off to the closest tribe when his companions start asking questions. For a moment, he is stunned. But as he listens, he hears sense in what they are saying.
"The seven points could certainly be teeth," he says, trying to sound thoughtful. "But rather than rushing off blindly to Shank's Wood, should we not consider a strike against the closest tribe? If they are united, that would be the most likely place for them to launch an attack from." And the shortest walk before we face an enemy and add to our legend! he manages not to say aloud.

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"Why not forify the town a best as we can first? Set out escape routes or safe places for those unable to defend themselves and let us go to glorious slaughter?" Slaynn asks even as he leans back.

Tiberiu Banderosi |

"Ugh," Tiberiu grunts. "Good ideas all. Perhaps...I suspect Slaynn is right, though I'm not so sure how I feel about 'glorious slaughter.' I'd rather stay home, thanks very much. But if we need to, we should make protecting the town our first priority."
He glances at Shalelu and Sheriff Hemlock. "What do you two think? Fortify the town, and then...? I'm still thinking Shank's Wood, but I leave that to you, Shalelu."

Shalelu the Ranger |

Shalelu looks at the group, with a cold light in her eyes. "Hemlock tells me you already withstood an attack by all of these tribes. They left many wounded and dead in Sandpoint, it's too early for them to try another."
As the party passes along the token with the seven jagged points, she examines it closely. "I have not seen it's like, but I don't believe it belongs to the Seven Tooth goblins. They normally have a string of teeth for their totem. Did you find strings with teeth among the dead goblins?"
Her eyes show a pale fire as you mention a human or elf working with the tribes. "They have never been organized to work together before. I guessed someone or something was banding them together, but they must be powerful and persuasive indeed to get these disparate tribes to work together. As chaotic as the little runts are, they can barely pull of inter-tribal activities, let alone complex plans on a large scale."
"I will ride to check out the tribe nearest first, but I don't expect to find much here. The closest tribes are the least war-like usually. Perhaps it will turn something else interesting up. I plan to come back and report when my reconnaissance is done."
She rises, clearly preparing to depart for the rode, her discomfort with sitting still and inside for so long, readily apparent.
"Are there any more questions?"

Sherriff Belor Hemlock |

Hemlock shakes hands with Shalelu and he also makes ready to leave town. "I am not sure a house-to-house search will do much to calm the population or if it will bear any fruit, but if you must then you must. Please do not get any grand ideas to go on a pre-emptive strike against the goblins yet. While I am gone, the town needs you here, in case something else goes awry."
"Do you need anything before I make for Maginimar? The sooner I am off, the sooner I will return with a detachment of soldiers."

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"None that I can think off." Slaynn shakes his head... already thinking of a rather boring week or so..........

Tiberiu Banderosi |

Tiberiu sighs. "None that I can either. Wish we could do something more...solid. Hmph. Well, be safe, Shalelu, Sheriff Hemlock." He turns to the others. "S'pose we'll be the PR team for the moment. Well, I should be able to help with that, at least."

Qorinae |

Qorinae frowns as his dreams of heroic assaults on goblin tribes are wrecked on the rocky shores of practicality. A moment later, he smiles, as he remembers a certain redhead he had met when they first arrived.
"Well, it looks like we're bound by our obligations to remain here for now, so...." He gives a grin and turns to leave, stopping a moment later to turn to Shalelu and the sheriff. "Er, yes. Safe travels. We'll hold down the ... er ... fort."

Uuli |

Uuli shakes his head. "I've got nothing else other than good wishes for the both of you. I do hope you'll find something interesting."
Then he continues, "In the meantime, Let's get something done. If we can find more clues about this new symbol, we may help the cause."

DM DoctorEvil |

The elven ranger rides off, followed a few minutes later by the Sheriff. Both are headed out on missions to help Sandpoint defend itself from the goblins, while the heroes are left back in the village to bolster the morale of the village.
Anything in particular you want/need to do or see in town? If not, we can flash forward a bit to the evening. If so, lmk what it might be and we'll play it out.

Tiberiu Banderosi |

Tiberiu, realizing that he has some free time on his hands, nods farewell to his companions (promising to see them that evening) and makes a beeline for the renowned Sandpoint Theater, hoping to procure a chance to perform (hopefully many chances, actually).

DM DoctorEvil |

There are only a few things that Sandpoint is known for in the wider world of Varisia: an outstanding natural harbor, the Kaijitsu Glassworks, and of course, the Sandpoint Theater.
This impressive playhouse put on some of the finest shows in all of Varisia, certainly more than enough to compete with finer stages in Magnimar or Korvosa.
The Theater is owned and financed by one larger-than-life character, Cyrdak Drokkus. It is he who answers when Tiberiu arrives at teh showplace later that morning.
Drokkus is dressed in a motley assortment of clothes, wild colors and patterns, his hair an unkempt mess and dark make-up on his face. His fingers are inkstained and he chews the nub of quill pen as he answers the ringing bell.
"Yes, yes, what is it? Oh, it's you....a real-life Hero here at my doorstep...Imagine!" he flusters. "What can a simple fellow like me do for a great big hero like you?"

Tiberiu Banderosi |

Diplomacy: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (8) + 2 = 10
If you would like to skip ahead to tonight, DM, feel free! Don't want to hold anything up. :)

DM DoctorEvil |

This is the time for some side adventures, so we can play it up a bit. You can spoiler or not here, at your choice.
Tiberiu
The showman is impressed with you certainly. "Come in, come in, let's see what we can do. Kapenia dancing, I must say that is quite a treat." He shows you into his study where he has been working on his latest play script. Sitting in an easy chair in the room already is another man, older, and quiet well-dressed. "This is Jaspar Korvaski. Jasper, this is one of the Heroes of Sandpoint, and get this, he is also a dancer and performer. Amazing!"
Korvaski rises, you can see he has a military bearing and manner. "Welcome, friend of Sandpoint! You are well met, indeed!" he smiles and offers a firm handshake.
Cyrdak steps in. "Let us see you dance, man! If you are any good, you will be a big draw." He winks at Jasper and leads you to the stage. "Ok, Hero, let's see what you've got." the playwright goes and leans against the warrior, who wraps his arm around him while they watch.
Make a perform skill check, knock them dead!

DM DoctorEvil |

Qorinae
You ask and are given directions to Vinder's General Store, the home of the memorable Shayliss Vinder. As you approach, you see the buxom red-head on the porch. She waves and calls to you.
"Just what I needed, a big strong Hero! I'm so glad you come by when you did. You see I was in the cellar getting supplies for the store, and there was just the biggest rat I have ever seen down there. Will you be a hero, and go see what you can do about it? I'll show you where..." she bats her eyes in a comely fashion as she speaks about her distress.

DM DoctorEvil |

Uuli
As you walk back from the City Hall to the Dragon, you are confronted by two individuals. One is a short, gnome with a trimmed beard, and wild hair. The other is a scholarly man with black-horned rimmed glasses and a scholar's robes and chain.
"Well met! Aren't you one of the Heroes of Sandpoint! You are, I can tell." says the gnome in a high-pitched voice. "Join us, oh do! We are headed to a meeting of the Philosophical Society, and we would love fo r you to come as our guest. Won't Ilosari be so jealous, Brod...he'll eat his hat, I promise! So, will you come?"
The gnome looks at you curiously, then grabs your hands and starts walking you down the street, not waiting for a reply. "I am Veznutt Parooh, local cartographer, and this is my illustrious friend and emminent scholar, Brodert Quink, formerly of the University in Magnimar. Say hello Brodert."
Without waiting, as the other man opens his mouth to speak, the gnome continues unabashed. "The Society meets once per month at the Curious Goblin, that's quite a name now isn't it...I wonder if old Chask will change it what with the attack and all. I bet he won't. Anyway..." the gnome goes on speaking, not letting anyone else get a word in edgewise.

Tiberiu Banderosi |

Perform (dance): 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (5) + 4 = 9
Tiberiu springs lightly up onto the stage, then realizes that they're not going to be playing any music. "I, uh...I admit I should have mentioned this before, but I usually have musicians provide a little something. What's dancing with no music, after all, right? Still...I guess I'll give you one of the festival dances, that's usually a good crowd one." He bows low, then sets himself, takes a deep breath, and begins.
It's not...bad...but it doesn't make much sense without the music. His tempo ends up a little off, as well. When he finishes, he bows with a flourish and hops down, trying to keep his disappointment and frustration off his face. Ugh. That was a terrible choice. Should've done a show dance...at least then it would have been a more ambitious project, they might've cut me some slack...

Qorinae |

"Rats?" Qorinae says, trying not to sound disappointed. He is about to start explaining how rats are something better handled by a cat or a small dog than by a hero when she bats her eyelashes and for a moment, his mind goes blank. He grins at her and gives a low bow.
"I'm not sure you need an actual hero to sort out a problem with rats, but I can't turn away a lady as beautiful as yourself in her hour of need." He pats himself down, making sure he has all the usual equipment, and then gives her a nod. "Let's go down to the cellar and have a look at these rats." Though his eyes might imply there are other things he'd rather have a look at.

DM DoctorEvil |

Tiberiu
"Well," says Cyrdak cynically. "That was nice. Not something you see everyday, eh Jasper?" He nudges the larger man in the ribs slightly. "Tell you what, hero. How about I give you some free tickets to our next performance tomorrow night, and you come and sign some autographs or something. We don't really have a place for dancing in this weeks performance. Do come, though, a star like you will really help pack the place." He gives you a smarmy smile and a cold-fish handshake and offers you set of tickets.
Jasper looks at you with a sardonic grin. "Might want to stick to goblin-killing, son. Looks more your speed." He claps you on the shoulder and turns to go back to the office following the playwright. As you stand there dejected, you hear them both laughing from inside the office.

DM DoctorEvil |

Qorinae
Shayliss giggles as you agree to help her pest control problem. She leads you to the cellar steps below the general store. The cellar is dark an dank. She lights a small lantern and urges you down the steps, hanging back slightly behind you.
As you get down to the basement, she whispers "It was just there, behind that salt barrel." she points to a large barrel that is set in a corner. Qorinae steps over to investigate, pushing the heavy barrel to the side but he sees not rat nor evidence of infestation. The cellar is dry, clean, and well-organized.
Qorinae pushes the barrel back, then turns to the girl -- only to find that her bodice has come off, and she slips into the elf's arms wrapping him in a passionate embrace.
When Qorinae comes up for air, the girl steers him toward a cot that someone has set up against a wall. She sits on the edge of the makeshift bed and beckons him to sit with her.
I think we can keep this PG rated, just let us know if you fall for her wiles or make some excuse to keep your chastity intact for now.

Tiberiu Banderosi |

Tiberiu nods his thanks, smiling, and promises to come to the performance--but the instant the other two are out of sight he hangs his head and sighs, clutching tight to the ends of his scarf. Guess it's back to street corners for now. Fools! They'll see! One day they'll all see! On his way out of the theater he half-heartedly kicks doorframe. ...I'm not much of a megalomaniac villain.
Defeated (at least for now), he heads back to the Rusty Dragon.

Qorinae |

Qorinae advances slowly towards the salt barrel, ready for anything.
Or so he thought.
"What about the rats?" he says, and then falls back helplessly on the cot.
"OK, never mind," he finds himself powerless to resist her enthusiastic seduction and the scene quickly fades to black.
That DC 1000 will save was way out of line.

DM DoctorEvil |

Tiberiu
Dejected at his failure, Tiberiu strolls back to the Dragon head-down. He enters the bar and orders a big tankard of ale from Lars and begins to drown his sorrows.
Lars engages the Varisian performer in conversation. "Vhat ess wronG, leetle man? Jou are lookinG wery blue. Did sometinG bad happen to jou?"

DM DoctorEvil |

Qorinae
During the acrobatic maneuvers on the cot downstairs, you keen hearing catches the sound of something, but what is it?

Qorinae |

perception: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (19) + 7 = 26
stealth: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (6) + 8 = 14
"Someone's here!" Qorinae whispers, squirming out from under the girl and ducking behind the salt barrel as he franticly buttons his pants.