"Well, no one can Caterwaul worse than that, clearly Mittens has lost the Music Round already, and since everyone is vulnerable to Robot attacks then I hope those mechanical monstrosities have her head on a plaque soon."
The pouting Ms. Kevorkia turns a cold shoulder to the feline host, still upset that her Pruning Program was nixed.
Alexander's disappointment in his candidate not being chosen is quickly wiped away when he hears of the first contest.
"Ha! My last foray into music was a hit! I've got this one in the bag!"
He turns to the others and offers a shrug. "Sorry, but one of you is gonna have to die this time around," he says, before looking to Charlene, "So where do you stand without your precious DeathWatch?"
"Oh, no, I am not in the Killer Robot target list my dear Ms. Kevorkia, especially as all Killer Robots were promised a NEW CAR! for surviving this competition, and if I die, who will provide that car? You? Don't make me laugh. HAHAHA! TOO LATE! YOU DID!" announces Meowselsworth down to Ms. Kevorkia, before she hops up onto one of the chairs to offer the audience a keyboard solo in anticipation of this round's bit musical finish.
"Oh, Great", whines Ms. Kevorkia, "New Cars for the robots, so they're materialistic as well as being killers. I very much look forward to Pruning them from among us!"
Turning her attention away from the frivolous, yet admittedly good announcer, Ms. Kervorkia beams her smile at Alexander and claps her hands in glee.
"Oh Yeaaa, I loved your musical contributions, and if people had just heeded the message and used more deodorant then I wouldn't have had to Prune all those silly hippies at the music festivals!"
Too stunned to speak, Eldon finally turns to Charlene. "Gotta say, don't seem right for me to be Team Leader when your not, boss. Don't seem right. Guess that's why I didn't get it, right?"
Eldon then turns to Mittens.
The enigmatic being does seem to understand what music is, at least at a basic level, and begins to make some strange noises. The cosmic emissions produce a dissonant synesthesia in listeners, accompanying the sound with a visual trip not unlike that of one particular famous science fiction film.
"Musical artifice? Such a task is a gross misuse of my dark magic! A veritable farce in the face of evil!" declares Velval in his high-pitched voice.
".. What?! Stephano, no. No, you did not play in a band. No. That's ridiculou--When did you do that?! Stephano! No, shut up. Shut up, Stephano. Shut up."
Then the dark sorcerer pivots to look at Meowselsworth, "Would you stalk these institutionalized robotic vagrants in a game of chance?! Your soul belongs to me! We vote once more that Kitty-kitty be killed in favor of the tournament!"
"Yeah, go to the musical instrument kiosk with the spinning razor array next to it to pick up your instrument. There should be an acoustic there, Mr. Gorski, I look forward to your performance," says Mittens, congenially. At the Hollow's display, the feline begins to trip out for awhile, before receiving a vote from Velval, snapping her out of it.
"Hey, you, settle down!" says Mittens, swatting down a cat treat at Velval's face, "You can't vote for me, because I'm not playing. And since I write the rules, you really don't want me to play, because I will vote for you a million times!"
The Goat that has been standing still as a statue suddenly springs to life.
"Whoa! Hey! I guess I just powered down there for a second. I cant believe I just blanked my way through the Zero Round voting. How embarrassing. Yeah!"
Hamish's speech patterns are nervous and sporadic.
"Wow!, this is scary stuff Huh? Who is gonna die? I don't wanna die! EH!"
Hamish looks over his shoulder only to notice his stubby tail.
"There you are! I thought I had lost you!"
Hamish begins whirling around in circles chasing his tail like a dog.
"Wow The Mitts won the popularity contest I didn't see that coming, I didn't even think she was participating."
Leoian smiles towards Eldon "I'm now looking forward to hearing you play Mr. Gorski. I never learned to play the guitar myself, my parents thought the Theremin would be a more versatile instrument. I sure hope The Mitts can provide one. Maybe we can get together with Huaghh, and get a real jam session going."
He looks up towards Mittens "We are allowed to collaborate to make the best music right? Oh and by the way does your spinning razor instrument kiosk have a Theremin?"
Hamish darts to a stop.
"WAIT! Why don't we all sing about penguins in a fine piercing tenor!!!"
Eldon goes over to the instruments, looking over them until he finds the one he's looking for. Picking it up, he tunes it by ear before getting ready to play. "Well, if it's music you want, here's one my pa used to play. S'pose I should be lucky. Well, here we go."
The cat treat bounces off the plague doctor's mask, and Velval hardly flinches. "Your futile attacks tire me! shouts the wizard. "Stephano! Play me off."
There's no music, just Velval suddenly singing a macabre song with no backbeat at all, and in his shrill voice. A+ for effort and the dancing, while he literally dances out the meaning of the song while singing.
"Yes, spinning razor kiosk has a Theremin. I've done my research, Leoian. And I know your mother. And yes, collaboration is allowed, but you will be judged by your individual performances," replies Mittens.
"Oh Yeaaa, I loved your musical contributions, and if people had just heeded the message and used more deodorant then I wouldn't have had to Prune all those silly hippies at the music festivals!"
"I know, right? Those people revolt me!" he replies, finding himself excited at the prospect of meeting a fellow hippie hater. He had beaten up his fair share of them during his lifetime, but it seemed like she had one-upped him by cutting them into pieces.
Eyes growing dark as the results are announced; 'What no-one else voted? And the draw meant that the establishment puppet was in place. I should have expected that....foolish of me not to. Of course it is rigged in their favour even with a bribe for the robots! At least music...although we need to find out their tastes.'
Bryn watches appreciatively it seems that people are quite gifted. "So, well done. I'd take requests but I am sure you know not my back catalogue. Let us try something light..."
He moves over to the gold-fish scoop booth and borrows the 500 point prize; an electric guitar; "This goes out to the snipers in the guard tower. Let us fill the Blood red skies with sound!"
"That is unless you like your metal BLACK!"
Alina had mostly stayed quiet throughout the zero-th round, other than to giggle when Mittens declared him/her/itself as Team Leader. Now, however, she finally pipes up, eyes wide.
"Wait. A music competition? Really? Like, we're supposed to just pick something and be all musical?"
She pouts.
"I can't carry a tune in a bucket, and I am NOT going to risk breaking a nail on some silly musical instrument!"
She suddenly perks up.
"I CAN indulge in some interpretive dance, though!"
It's as awful as it sounds.
"Enough of this music talk. I have a PhD in murderology. Let the games begin."
Interpretive. Dance.
Aaron stares directly into the nearest camera and makes his opinion of the performance clear.
Of course, Aaron is likewise not blessed with musical talent. The only thing he has going for him is his brief time in the military band; so he steps up on an improvised table and gives his best rendition of the Riviuran national anthem... with the addition of a few choice lyrics that he developed while incarcerated to show his 'regard' for the country that betrayed him.
His booming tenor voice is well trained to project across the battlefield, and he breaks out with verse after doggerel verse of his anthem:
"Mr...sorry Professor Tinkerton, music is a game. Soliciting emotions from your listener. Creating an aural landscape that can take someone away from the mundanity of reality; whilst at the same time showing them that life can be so much more." Bryn's voice rolls continuing his preaching.
"Aaron, that's a good way to describe the racism that disguised as patriotism. I applaud thee." His hands clap together for a few peals that reverberate.
"Alina that's an interesting dance, what where you interpreting? Let me guess the stupidity of this escapade, the futility and boredom created by the masses and their 'unique and interesting' personalities?" He asks curiosity at the young teenager and her motivations.
"You make music sound to be a magic of its own. To make it up to even beyond the levels of the powers that made me who I am. I once made my own music of sorts in my lab. And now it echoes hollowly inside me. It no longer is part of me." His face remains impassively metal.
"Eloquently put, Professor, surely a personage of such a salubrious and colossal intellect will find his own music surely enough." The man loquaciously replies. "Music follows the same principles of science and mathematics; using Fourier series and other harmonics to create a perfect melody. Trying to find that is my task - whilst enlightening others; just as yours is to use science to understand the building blocks..." he adds.
Misinterpreting the interpretive dance of Alina, Ms. Kevorkia offers her sympathy. "Oh, dearie, I don't have any toilet paper with me, you better find a shrubbery soon by the looks of it!"
Turning to the crowd of miscreants, she offers up a positive, enlightening song. "And now for something completely different!"
"Of course, I should have known you would be prepared. It would hardly be fair if not everyone was provided the instrument they're specialized with."
Leoian moves over to the spinning razor kiosk, and starts setting up the Theremin. He looked around at the others "Anyone that wants is more than welcome to join in. Mr. Gorski having heard your skills with the guitar I would be most pleased to play with you. Now anyone play keyboard?"
In anticipation of figuring out whom she wished to vote for, Finwa sat in a seat and watched the others without realizing that her eyes were closing. It had been a long ride from her home world to this dismal place and now it was taking much more time for anyone to really open up on what they were deciding on.
Eyes drooped then slowly the small being fell asleep, never being able to cast her vote in for Bryn as she had planned all along. It took some time for her to wake up and realize that much had gone on without her realizing it.
Until she heard the music playing, the small being was frustrated with herself for nodding off but the music was making her smile despite herself. Her ears twitched to the sounds and she grinned at others making statements of not being able to sing.
"I am sorry everyone for nodding off." She apologized as she got up. Seeing the instruments she walked over and took a look at some of them then chose one just her size.
"Mr. Mousekewitz, I am sure it would be fun to play with you but this is the closest I know to a keyboard." She held up an instrument with keys on it, "If this works well enough maybe I can help with yours. Let's see if anyone likes this though."
Finwa began to play the instrument then sang her song, Mis-conceptions.
When she was done the female looked up, unsure of her performance.
"Very good my darling, you hav' shamed me in advance. Now however, I vill give it a go," Mars says as he perks up having been quiet for a time."In my old country I vas forced to learn by my father. I'm a bit rusty, but by now so is that keyboard of mine." He laughs to himself as if he has said something extremely witty.
Cardon goes to the keyboard and waits for Mousekewitz's count.
The Hollow hasn't stopped making weird noises this entire time, although the induced synesthesia seems to have toned down.
"Of course, I should have known you would be prepared. It would hardly be fair if not everyone was provided the instrument they're specialized with."
Leoian moves over to the spinning razor kiosk, and starts setting up the Theremin. He looked around at the others "Anyone that wants is more than welcome to join in. Mr. Gorski having heard your skills with the guitar I would be most pleased to play with you. Now anyone play keyboard?"
"I suppose so as long as the boss don't mind. Though not sure what kind of instrument that thing's s'posed to be." Eldon looks hard at the theremin. "Yea, instrument."
Listening to Finwa's song, Eldon looks confused. "Um, it sounds okay. I guess. A nice beat, and it has words. But uh, what?"
"Shamed you? I do not believe so but thank you for the geniality. You will shame me, I am sure. Give it a go Mr. Mars." She gives Cardon a bawdy wink then tilts her head, one ear flipping up in interest as The Hollow continues to be making the sounds. She blinks at the being then nods calmly at him as she considers the sounds.
Her attention turns to Eldon, "It is called a blinko-bliz-chit. It acts like a flute, guitar and keyboard instrument all at the same time. If you know how to tune it properly then you can combine many different kinds of instruments."
Finwa chuckles with a big smile, "It's a silly ditty about a type of chimera created through her mother's sensual get together. I'd say it would have to be a form of magical science uprooted with an intercourse of delineation genes in a rather..." She continues on in her assessment of what exactly the situation for the song could have been for several minutes, her voice clearly musical even while speaking scientific terminology in an almost non breathing fashion which only ended once she completed her analysis, "But basically it is just a funny song to make people laugh."
Eldon listens intently to what Finwa says, nodding appropriately as she speaks, seeming to understand. When she finally finishes, he attempts his own summary. "So, what your sayin' is it's a song about a woman doin' a horse?" Eldon suddenly realizes who he's talking to and gets abit red in the face. "If you'll pardon the coarse language, erm, that is."
Leoian seems quite pleased to have others joining in, he listens to Finwa's song, and smiles "You had nothing to worry about, that was a played beautifully. My friends call me Leo, and if you don't have any objection I'm hoping you'll be one of them. You're more than welcome to play with me, I only asked for a keyboard player as I'm used to playing with one."
He grins finding Cardon coming to play with them as well "Oh good another friend. I'm sorry to hear you were forced into taking up the keyboard, but I'm glad for the opportunity to play with you. To be honest I didn't want to play the Theremin when I was little either, but my mom said I ruin everything I touch, and this was the only instrument I could play without touching it."
"My instrument is a Theremin Mr. Gorski, it generates sound based on the proximity of ones hand from the two antennae. One controls volume and the other pitch." He demonstrates moving his hands in the air above the instrument and causing a warbling sound. "It's better to show you by playing something. Everybody ready? One, Two, Three, Four"
"Mademoiselle Finwa, your voice is magnificent. Let me get you a coffee, to perk you right up." He moves over and gets one from the barrista at the nearby booth; with a nod at the prompt service. "Like my metal; black and strong. Although here is some packed milk, if you prefer." He hads over the hot beverage and cartons.
At Eldons faux-pas; Bryn claps him on the back with a reassuring manner; "That's at least technically right, mate. But language is nothing to be sorrt about."
Bryn waits in anticipation for Leoian's music, the otherworld sounds of the Theremin combined with the Hollow's warbling was to be an interesting and avante-garde mixture. 'This is just like early-Sigh. Awesome.'
"A pleasure to meet you, Caydon, I take it your keyboard skills are transferable to a harpsicord?" Bryn says with a certain interest, after his organist was forced into mandatory military service. And subsequently died in a 'police action'.
"Liquior? Just go to one of the kiosks....The capitalists have probably sponsored it so that it's free! All we'll have to say is that 'Coke: The taste of the Next Generation'." he continues cynically.
"The viewership is in the Billions!" his ambivalent words are fluctuating between being appalled and glad of the soap-box.
Thinking for a second Bryn concludes; "Alright I'll get my votes in now, but you can see how fickle I am. For leader I will vote the Hollow; not because his is the most aesthetically pleasing but because I tied up the lost round. This can change if one of you performs better." he says with a wink. "Whilst for team loser I will vote, the man we have heard a lot about but never seen. Murder Monk."
"How did I end up here? I never heard of lethal assault by insult."
Eldon listens intently to what Finwa says, nodding appropriately as she speaks, seeming to understand. When she finally finishes, he attempts his own summary. "So, what your sayin' is it's a song about a woman doin' a horse?" Eldon suddenly realizes who he's talking to and gets abit red in the face. "If you'll pardon the coarse language, erm, that is."
An elegant brow rose but her mouth tightened as she tried to fend off laughter, which she was able to do with limited success, "Close enough, I suppose. And I pardon the language. It is a partial truth of a description and works just fine."
Leoian seems quite pleased to have others joining in, he listens to Finwa's song, and smiles "You had nothing to worry about, that was a played beautifully. My friends call me Leo, and if you don't have any objection I'm hoping you'll be one of them. You're more than welcome to play with me, I only asked for a keyboard player as I'm used to playing with one."
Finwa bows to the man and smiles back at him, "Leo and a friend it is then. Thank you for the lovely comment. I shall join in and compliment the music with you and others.
"Mademoiselle Finwa, your voice is magnificent. Let me get you a coffee, to perk you right up." He moves over and gets one from the barrista at the nearby booth; with a nod at the prompt service. "Like my metal; black and strong. Although here is some packed milk, if you prefer." He hands over the hot beverage and cartons.
Finwa would have blushed if it were not for the short fur on her face blocking any such colouration. To be so treated by one such as Brynjård Silenøz, a man who was as artistically inclined with music as she was with her scientific studies giving her such a comment was uplifting. She put the milk on the table beside herself and then the coffee in both her hands as they are small comparative to other's hands and looks up happily, "It is just as I like it. Thank you."
She takes a sip, grins and puts it down to take up her instrument, "Now that you say so, I agree upon the vote for team loser as Murder Monk. It is only natural to remove those whom have not dedicated themselves to the venture at hand. As for team winner ... The Hollow's sounds, or music as it may be, have been fascinating and has kept me entranced. Not that anyone else is a lesser at the music capacity but The Hollow's is so much more ... sanguine and almost unintentional."
The little lady had listened to the others but chose to wait and see what else is said before reflecting upon anything else. She was not looking forward to further votes but for now she was feeling ok.
This was when Wowbanger showed up in complete confusion and she tilted her ears towards the man, "Is that why you are here? Lethal assault by insult?"
"Oohh, it just doesn't seem right, voting for Murder Monk as Team Loser, he's such a great advocate of the pruning program. Sure, his methods may be more a complete re-landscaping, but still it's just a version of heavy pruning." Ms. Kevorkia looks around wide eyed at the other criminals. "If anyone is a robot it's that Theremin-jigger playing fellow, only a robot could like that strange electronic sounding noise. Why, how do we know that isn't the robots speaking to one another, they could be plotting our very demise in front of us right now! And that Eldon fellow, practical, unassuming, down to earth, those are good qualities for a Team leader!"
Cardon begins violently playing the keyboard on Leo's que, while chaotic it matches with well with the warbling tones of the theremin. The melodic theremin accompanied by the rhythmic crashes of the keyboard. During the performance Cardon begins to laugh quietly, until he is almost hysterical. Still he plays on, taking hints from Leoian's playing.
"Vhy this is the most fan I've had since zapping that reporter!" He shouts in between bouts of laughter.
Bryn gives a little wink to Finwa as she softly blushes. Then he steps back watching the performance, the wildly rhythmic clashes and ethereal music sets his foot a tapping. It's all he can do not to join in and sing along with them but this is there performance. Maybe they can do another song.
"Oohh, it just doesn't seem right, voting for Murder Monk as Team Loser, he's such a great advocate of the pruning program. Sure, his methods may be more a complete re-landscaping, but still it's just a version of heavy pruning." Ms. Kevorkia looks around wide eyed at the other criminals. "If anyone is a robot it's that Theremin-jigger playing fellow, only a robot could like that strange electronic sounding noise. Why, how do we know that isn't the robots speaking to one another, they could be plotting our very demise in front of us right now! And that Eldon fellow, practical, unassuming, down to earth, those are good qualities for a Team leader!"
Eldon brings a hand around behind his head, "Well, thanks for that. Sounds darn near a compliment, it does. I suppose I should return the favor right there. Turnabout and all that."
"Wait, wait. I gotta vote for the boss. Sorry about that miss, I really am. But I already put my hat in with the professional sounding lady already, so I've got to go there."
"Er, wait, that's not how that works, right? I get something like two votes, ya? Let's see, I suppose I could give one to each, right? That sounds fair. So yea, let's do that then."
"Wait, wait, no. Lemme think, that's one for leader and one for loser, right? And don't want Ms. Kevorkia there as a loser. Lemme think this one through. Wait, I get two votes for bein' team leader last round, right? So that's two votes, so I can vote them both. And a coin flip to decide who gets the third."
"Darnit, still not right. I tied, so I didn't get that one either. This is confusin'. So leader's gotta be the boss then. That's right, Boss is leader. That's it."
"Now loser Who's going to be the loser? Just don't seem polite to call someone a loser. So I'll just not vote anyone a loser for now."
The red cowled creature that has sat in prayer this whole time to prove its devotion finally rises.
Without any preamble, the monk approaches The Hollow and bows.
"Of all those amongst us, you are closest to perfect. I can only pray that these other fools will learn from you before we are all forced to suffer further in this pointless game."
"In this politically correct era, you can't be too careful. Pedro from Napoleon Dyamite was convicted of hitting a pinata of Summer and was convicted as an adult of political libel and assaulting an effigy with intent to discredit. I was convicted of lethal assault by insult when older people died after my biting wit left them speechless."
"How.. enlightening. I'm sure you all understand that my talent is not specifically in creating music, nor in performing it, but in the difficult task or organizing and managing a group of temperamental, high-maintenance musicians. Ahem. My musical entry is the fruit of the organization of which I am an important - nay, vital - part."
A huge screen lowers as the lights dim. Banks of subsonic woofers to supersonic tweeters begin to rattle as the music of DeathWatch bombards contestants and audience alike.
Once the music dies down and people's hearing returns, Charlene straightens her jacket and speaks over the ringing in everyone's ears. "Some of you may recognize that as the concert which resulted in our ban in Finland. This caused the move to the Arctic Circle for the next venue. Sorry if it inconvenienced one of the other 'contestants'. The band decided to surprise the Finnish audience - and all the rest of us - with a new national anthem drawn from the ancient Finnish Necronomicon. Who could have predicted Mustakrakish's arising? Not I. Besides, the audience all signed waivers. It was perfectly legal."
She nods at Eldon. "As agreed, my vote is for Eldon Gorski for team lead. I keep bargains. You would all do to remember that."
After the various compliments and comments on its musical talents, the Hollow turns its shadowed hood to those addressing it and says,
The sounds continue while it speaks.
The sounds stop.
"Ah, so the Murder monk appears! Now tell me where have you been hiding? Is it because you're a robot beneath your cowl? Or is it because you are a pedestrian murderer....think hard, else I may not alter my vote." Bryn laughs capriciously as then the DeathWatch music starts and he gets into it, singing along. Obviously his style is slightly away from there's but it's obvious why they are the universes top band!
The Scandinavian nods at Eldon's chaotic voting, there that's how democracy could occur...
"Certainly as the lead in a band. I am!" Bryn says confidently.