"I told you, Palo get's mad when something flings poop all over the place. Relas had to chase monkeys for hours when we went through the jungle, to keep them from throwing stuff at her..." He trails off, looking at Relas. "She had to dismiss him and resummon him to get rid of the poo stench."
"Hmm..."Blekk scratches his head, then lightens up, grinning maniacally. "AHA! A DIAPER!"
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"Ugh...that was...yeah," Relas shudders. Then he pauses for a moment and bares his teeth in what approximates a grin. "I guess you could say it was a really...crappy...job."
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Standing up with shock as Ravboom throws the brain jar, "Wha.. why would.."
These 'earthlings' move so quickly and make so little sense. Not even acknowledging the amplified noise CT is making and just turning towards Blekk and turning his head back towards the west, "Focus and you might get to see something die. When that happens poo is excreted."
Turning herself towards the noise and preparing for the impending battle.
The wide corridor at the foot of the stairs has a rough, unfinished feel to its walls and floors compared to the building above. A damp, earthy smell permeates the air, and the hallway extends east to west before finally turning south... and standing there, somewhat taken aback by the appearance of CL4P-TP tumbling down the steps, are two klaven.
"Okay Palo!" Relas nods before heading down the corridor and around the corner, coming face to face with a couple of klaven. Not wanting to give them time to react, he continues bounding forward and attempts to take a bite out of the one in the lead.
Ghaaa!!! More monsters!!! Klaven. Defend ME!!!
Claptrap points to the nearest Klaven, then spends a moment rattling in fear behind Relas.
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Rav steps around the corner of the wall, past the downed bot and then stops in front of the Klaven next to Relas.
"Oh Lomrick's Klaven's throats we'll cuts..."
"We'll burn down his castle..."
"His defenses aren't even a hassle..."
"Oh Lomricks Klavens are worthless mutts..."
"Oh we're going to cut off Lomrick's nu.."
And the last word is lost in the sound of a gunshot as the BoomGar speaks to the Klaven from inches away.
Blood splatters the second Klaven as the lead ball punches an impressive hole through the first one.
"Oh Lommmmmmieeeee...we're coming for youuuuu!" Blekk croons as he runs into the fray.
CL4P-TP's attempts to influence the klaven are maybe slightly compromised by the tumble that the machine endured coming down the steps... whatever, Lomrick's creation barely registers the mental commands - although maybe it is those commands which distract the klaven such that it is incapable of defending itself from Ravboom, Relas and a somewhat teethy Blekk - bleeding from several wounds, it collapses...
Retreating around the corner, the second of the klaven fires its weapon - missing badly - and then, reloading, peers out of cover towards the group - it's expression as inscrutable as each of the genetically modified creations that the friends have battled...
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Ravboom skips forward, using the downed Klaven as a boosting point for his skips.
"Dead Klaven, bullet to the brain..."
"'Nother one soon to be slain..."
"Gonna take this place from Lomrick..."
"'n Feed the Minnoes his tiny little di.."
"'n Pop Open a bottle of Champagne!"
This time, Rav apparently mis-timed his skipping and singing and attacking, because the BoomGar roars during the 4th stanza of his song, cutting off the last word as it punches a massive hole in the Klaven and sprays it's internal organs over the wall behind it.
"You should have been a wordsmith, Rav!" Relas comments as he pursues the second klaven down the hallway and turns the corner, swiping at him with a mighty paw.
The remaining klaven takes a brutal blow to the chest from Ravboom's weapon and is barely able to avoid Relas as he bounds forwards...
Claptrap chases after the Klaven and casts Doom (dc 15 Will) at it, verbally debasing it with dire predictions of the future.
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Hearing CL4P-TP's words, the klaven seems to be - for the first time that the group have seen - actually shaken by the machine's mad utterances...
Hearing CL4P-TP's words, the klaven seems to be - for the first time that the group have seen - actually shaken by the machine's utter maddness...
Abandoning the floating position over Vale's head and diving into her jacket, visibility could mean death! Safely nestled in Vael jacket, "Do not do anything stupid!"
Ignoring, to the best of her abilities, the pile of rocks that dive into her jacket to. Carefully moving though the group to get a good look at the newest threat. Tightening her grip on the sharp stick that has not tasted much blood. I need to be a little more cautious with the magic.
Blekk sidles in between Rav and Relas. "Excuse me, pardon me, coming through, just gonna bite a little bit here..."
He bites the klaven a little.
Leaping forwards, teeth gnashing into the klaven's flesh, Blekk sends the guard tumbling... and as he smiles a crimson smile, the manic goblin feels the life leave the klaven's body...
...the corridor extends further to the south where it ends in a set of closed double doors. Halfway along the passageway, there is a second door to the west... and behind the group - passed in the heat of combat - there are another two doors.
"First thing Palo, Relas, and Rav learn. Never leave closed door behind you." Rav says, going back to the first passed door, and checking it for traps.
Blekk looks at Palo funnily. "Uhh...I know it's probably been a while, but now not the time for a man, Palo. Much less multiple..."he shakes his head. "Geez...keep your head in the game."
Rav grins. "She say Ah-Men, not Aye-Men." Rav says, poking the door with a metal rod and jerking his hand back just in case. "Longshanks have weird words, mean 'Oh god, please god, save my stupid longshank butt and hear my prayer oh god stop it from eating my face' or something like that. They use it all the time, not just in church. Think it mean like, 'Damn Skippy' when not in church. Not know why they not say 'Damn Skippy' if mean 'Damn Skippy' though.."
Listening at the door, Ravboom hears nothing... and so, opening the door, discovers a room that appears to be a morgue of some form. Three gurneys extend from the west wall of this long, rectangular room - each bears a humanoid body covered with a bloodstained sheet. A metal table stands askew from the southernmost gurney, and another bears a neat row of surgical implements near the far wall.
The sweet, sickly smell of blood is almost overpowering here - and there is no other exit from the room.
Rav looks the room over, then snags a couple of scalpels off the table. "Never know when really sharp knife come in handy." He looks at Palo, and grins, reminding her of the time he put a knife in his BoomRav and fired it into an Orc's throat, the Orc had been very surprised!
"Ok, next door..." The smell of the morgue doesn't seem to bother the goblin, then again, goblins put up with worse all the time.
Blekk wrinkles his nose. "Huh. Someone making soup in here?" He snags a scalpel for himself off the table as well and stows it in his bag.
Ravboom shakes his head. "Nah, longshanks are all weirded out by death. They have these stu... strange rituals where when someone they care about dies, they bring their body to a longshanks who mutilates the body, pumps all the blood out, cuts them open, reads the past from their entrails and pops their brain out of their skulls. Then they put the body back together, but all the organs are in bags in the body. Then they dress them up, put makeup on them so they look alive, put them on display, and everyone comes along and proclaims how alive they look with their organs inside in bags and makeup on, even though they never wore makeup when alive."
Blekk nods. "Definitely true. Mostly in places where food may be scarce. Or demon-infested. But let me tell you, old people sure are chewy. Uhh...from what I've been told..."
The first two gurneys have actual human cadavers only partially covered by their bloody sheets, and casual examination suggests a precise surgical dissection with the removal of small bones and vital organs. The surgical tools and equipment all appear very well-cleaned. The southern gurney, in contrast, bears a hulking shape beneath its sheet... apparently hearing Blekk's surreptitious theft, the previously motionless shape sits bolt upright, bending at the waist with a smooth, unnatural motion before sliding off the gurney to lumber towards them and attack. A patchwork of rotten cloth and grotesque skin, the creature snarls noiselessly at the friends.
A skinstitch's stuffing juts out of gaps in the sewing and the mouths and eye-holes of its component faces, giving it a horrifying, ragged look. Swarms of vermin and other creatures often find refuge within the straw, and the magic of this construct grants swarms nesting within its body amazing regenerative powers. Despite its ragged appearance, a skinstitch is strong, tough, and agile, though its components make it susceptible to fire.
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"Nope, talked to a Morgue TechNicky last month while researching. They haul out the organs and read the past from them, to figure out why the longshank die. Like, did he eat too much meat, or not enough meat, or did someone poison him with hemlock, or did someone stick a knife in his liver. Things like that."
Rav then looks at the creature, and promptly blows a hole in it.
"Stupid longshank, you dead, now stay down." He remonstrates with it. "Goblins know 'nuff stay down when dead. Longshanks be morons."
Owing to the creature's large size and past experience with similar foes, Relas moves into the morgue and steps just to the side of the door but doesn't advance any further.
"No way, I'm not getting slapped down while trying to get in close," he says with a shake of his head. "It can come to us!"
______
"Fire, huh?" Blekk fishes a flask out of his pocket. "Let's see how they like THIS then!" He hurls the flask at the skinstitch, which explodes in an enormous roar of flame.
"Whoa...holy crap. What did I mix into there? Seems like that was more boom than I thought it'd be."
"Then bust open paper bag I gave you Palo, and throw bag at it, get it covered in dust, then it burn really well."
Hanging back when the smell of blood hits her nose. Shaking away flashes of her own blood on someone else's hands.
Snapping out of it with the loud bang of Ravboom's. Rushing into the room with a hand outstretched, "Fire, right."
Ravboom's shot is accurate... yet the bullet does little more than pierce dead materials - exploding out the other side without the monster noticing. The fire is far more effective though - sending gouts of flame blooming from parched materials...
Still burning, the stitched together creature lurches towards Vael swinging a metal pipe...
"Oh, good, just open bag and sling powder over it while it on fire. Be big burn up now. Even Palo no can miss slinging wave of powder." There's a hesitancy to Rav's comment though, as if he suspects Palo could still miss even with such an area of effect attack...
Rav points the gun and pulls the trigger again.
The cartridge makes a clink sound, and nothing happens. "Stupid contact charge, going to beat that jerk with lead pipe, knew price was too good."
Claptrap is so preoccupied with searching for neat and exotic looking tools that he does not immedeately react to the Skinstitch instead he is scrummaging around the lab looking at everything.
He is really distracted, almost absent minded as he focuses on his "more importiant tasks".
Here. Palo. Aim better...
Claptrap casts Guidance then gets back to searching.
Hoping to take some of the pressure off of Vael, Relas darts around Blekk and attempts to duck and dodge his way past Vael and under the skinstitch's reach...
...and bite at its leg once he's close!
______
Backing up and pulling the cowardly little pile of rocks out of her clothing, "Go be helpful."
Hopefully out of the potential blast radius and yelling over to Palo, "This cannot be the dumbest thing he has asked you do!"
Zipping away from Vael and floating down next to Palo. Touching her arm while lightly flashing with light, "We trust you Palomia. Go light it up."
The frustrating 'click' of the Boomrav is only further emphasised as Relas endeavours to duck past the huge, leathery stitched creature... to then bite at a trailing piece of dead skin that he mistook for a limb - mouldy and rank, it breaks off in Relas' mouth...
Claptrap is so preoccupied with searching for neat and exotic looking tools...
A few surgical tools and a somewhat derivative, and poorly written, manual on golem creation...