Chuffy offers one of his spare bug cages.
Stingwings bugs. Chuffy cage hold bugs.
"Where you want Poog put three legged turtle?"
In Poog pocket.
Poog considers Chuffy's suggestion. Thinking that his pocket might be a great place for a three legged turtle, Poog reaches for the patch. Suddenly, Poog stops, a confused look contorting his ugly goblin mug.
"Wait... what is pocket? Poog gots pocket? Pocket also named Poog?"
Poog looks around for what might be considered a "pocket," including any sort of sack that may be used for the stingwing plan.
Reta wants a pocket to put a Poog in.
Reta, obviously bored with this conversations reaches in her pocket and pulls out a caterpillar and swishes it in her hands, rubbing the goo on her cheeks like war paint. She then reaches in her other pocket and pulls out Spotol and gives him the remains of the caterpillar body.
"Reta no fraid of stingy bugs, Reta will move them if boys can't find summin to put them in."
Mogmurch scans ship for any sign of sails, but none to be found. Even what is left of rigging minimal. Likely valuable part scavenged early in ship's first days on land.
Chuffy's bugcage awkward size... constructed for bigger buggies, it too big to handle a stingwing and too small to handle stingwing nest. A bullslug though...
Poog considers ramifications of placing three-legged turtle into mysterious "pocket"... Poog seem to recall it being an article of clothing...
Licktoads scour deck for anything suitable; closest thing can find is lots and lots of vines. Skilled gobo could make net...
Chuffy tired of this issue. Chuffy draw dog slicer, cut off square of dog skin from barky monstrosity. Hand to Mogmurch.
i pull down stingwing nest. You put in this, throw thru door. Fireworks not rescue themselves!
Chuffy take dogslicer and put name to test... doggy had saggy skin, so easy to remove, but still bloody mess (for better or best). Chuffy expertly remove stingwing house from front of boat and gingerly lower into dogskin satchel.
Someone may find day rapidly worsening soon.
Having kind of lost track of what his fellow Licktoads were doing as he considered what a "pocket" was and whether or not he indeed possessed one, Poog is delighted to find that Chuffy has desecrated the corpse of a mangy no good ugly stinking rotten filthy nasty stupid dog.
Holding his hands out in front of him, Poog approaches Mogmurch.
"Here turtle!"
Indeed, in his grubby little hands Poog holds a box turtle. It is missing a leg and seems perplexed as to how it ended up being surrounded by goblins... and stingwings... and dead dogs. This turtle's future does not look bright, and the turtle seems to be aware of this fact.
When had Poog summoned this unfortunate creature? Why had Poog summoned this unfortunate creature?
"Smarty one. Explain to Poog how turtle helps stingwing plan again."
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Mogmurch clutches the safely wrapped wasp bomb and the crippled turtle. "Plan simple," he helpfully expounds.
Mogmurch places the turtle on its back in front of the door. He gives the hive a vigorous shake (delighting in the angry buzzing that emerges), then gingerly places the primed insect bomb on the turtle's belly, holding the loose end of the doghide wrap. He gestures for Chuffy to man the door handle.
"On the count of . . ."
Oh, right, Chuffy thinks numbers are snacks.
"On the count of WINK!" Mogmurch whispers.
Once Chuffy is in position, Mogmurch will give him the signal to open the door momentarily. Then he'll give the hive a nasty kick through the doghide, unraveling it and launching the hive into the cabin just in time for Chuffy to shut the door. Then the Licktoads hold the door shut and laugh and laugh and laugh.
Eat the helpful turtle later.
Chuffy not think numbers are snacks; Chuffy KNOW numbers are snacks. After all, "seven ate nine."
Honor safely defended, even if only in his own football head, Chuffy wait for wink, and upon wink, open door, then after football-ish wasper nest inside door, Chuffy slam door shut!
Chuffy then ruminate on what is this "football" thing he keeps comparing heads and wasper nests to. "Football" is nothing Chuffy ever seen. "Football" is nothing Chuffy ever heard of. But Chuffy just certain to depth of his Gobbo soul (and Gobbo soul have deep, deep depth) that "football" perfect metaphor for Gobbo head and for kicked wasper nest.
Chuffy open door and Mogmurch kick stingwing house inside. Good kick; would have had nice distance if not for ship mast going through room.
"I been expectin' troubles! I's had an appetite for more gob... WHAT THE F..."
Ruckus inside hut. Buzzes and yells and cusses. Might be best to let this one settle self.
Wasp swarm springs into existence right on top of Vorka...
...taking her by surprise.
Lord Longtung cannot contain self and begins dining on smorgasbord of stingwings. Vorka curses, steps out of swarm, and casts spell. Stingwings accost Lord Longtung...
Longtung continue chomping on stingwings, but too many to control. Vorka finishes spell, and air filled with squeals and screechies...
Longtung get out of stingwing swarm and try eatty-eat more; harder with screechies, though...
...Screechies stop screeching.
"Longtung, open blasted door stupid frog!"
Mogmurch holds the door shut with all his might and giggles uncontrollably.
I love it when a plan comes together!
Chuffy hide next to door, ready to SNEAK ATTACK first enemy exit cabin.
Door leading into Vorka-home begin thudding loudly.
Lord Longtung approach door and begin pounding on it...
...though not effectively enough.
Vorka desperate and cast spell.
Stingwings swarm Longtung; least scary thing in cabin.
Lord Longtung make another desperate attempt at door...
...and make little progress.
Sound of barking begins, and more slamming at door...
...with little effect.
Vorka cast another spell.
Stingwings continue dark work...
...felling Lord Longtung.
"NO! Lord Longtung! They... they pay for this! I eat out their eyes! I cook their guts and eat those too! I... won't even cook guts! Eat them all! Gnaw them till they dead! DEAD I SAY."
Vorka run to door, braving stingwings, to force open...
...and successfully catch Licktoads off guard...
Shink
Chuffy make good on promise to stab first thing that come out door...
...but only graze.
Stingwings continue assault...
...and Vorka beginning to feel it.
Chuffy give look of shock.
Vorka not only keep dogs and horse, but summon them? That far worse than eating other Gobbos! We must end her, Licktoads!
Chuffy moves as necessary to flank Vorka, sneak attacks her. If no flanking is available on Vorka, Chuffy moves to flank awful magic dog, sneak attacks it. If no flanking available on either, Chuffy attack without flank, Vorka first choice, awful magic dog second choice.
Mogmurch edges away from the door, admiring his handiwork. Vorka was ugly enough to begin with, he thinks, but with all those stings? HA! I definitely need more of THIS kind of bomb! Oh, and speaking of which...
Chuffy, delighted by the explosion, still instinctively recoil from the burnings.
Chuffy instincts not certain whether they enjoy a bonus to that save from the wall between him and the explosion.
Reta pulls out her bow and shoots Vorka.
"You die now!"
Poog draw sword and attempt to slice Vorka...
...and try as he might, can't connect. Stupid walls.
Reta fire bow at Vorka, but shot wild and all big-headed gobos block view!
Mogmurch step back and attempt to give occupants of boathouse something to think about, but Vorka dodge...
...though bombs do not concern themselves with dodges.
Nasty doggy try snap at Chuffy from around wall...
...and get Chuffy on his ankle, biting down hard and about to wrench poor foot off before POOF... disappear!
Chuffy step up and swing on Vorka, filthy dog summoner.
Chuffy sword stab true, but Vorka's thick skin protect her good organs.
Vorka's hand glow with fiery purpose, and she reach out to show Chuffy what that is...
...as flaming hand try to throttle Chuffy, Chuffy weave away unharmed.
Stingwings continue assault on Vorka...
...and Vorka much worse off for it.
Assuming filthy Dog Woman still standing when Chuffy turn roll around, Chuffy slice her, then five foot step North so that if Vorka step out Chuffy can SNEAK ATTACK! on next turn.
Mogmurch, out of his traditional explosives, reaches into his bag of tricks and lobs a vial of acid at Vorka.
Poog holds his Dogslicer over his head ready for Vorka to step through the door. Once Vorka steps out, Poog will be prepared to hit him real good.
"Ok, big headed gobbos, you make Reta look bad. Reta try again, Vorka take this!"
Reta yells loudly as she tries another arrow to the face.
Poog ready weapon for Vorka to step out of boathouse... though be very difficult for her to exit boat-house at moment...
Reta fire arrow, but still too crowded. Would have to be almost perfect to actually hit target, she thinks.
Mogmurch throw acid at Vorka, and kersplash!
"Stupid stingwings! Stupid goblins. My eyes. Stupid acid. I'll... I'll..."
Life fade from Vorka's eyes. Maybe that just blood fading. Close enough. Licktoads back away from door as stingwings leave cabin and disperse once outside. Inside of room chaotic... could be Vorka, could be Licktoad handywork... hard to say, but probably mostly Licktoads.
Room definitely full of goods, but red chest has look about it. That look.
Mogmurch rushes at the chest, wiping ashes, dead wasps, and guano from it and giggling gleefully. He savors the moment, takes a deep breath, and opens the lid...
The red chest calls to the Licktoads, like a primal beast howling prior to the feast. Having spent years in the service of Vorka -- the poor, tortured soul -- its surface has certainly seen better days, but the vermilion remains succulent in the eyes of those yearning to know what relics may be safely stored within.
Mogmurch lovingly wipes away the residues of constant neglect while Chuffy runs his skilled hands along the seems, corners, and mechanisms of the box -- this chest has been scorned, and may not be quick to love again. Reta and Poog make their approach into the room when the gravity of the situation finally takes hold. Reta's armaments fall loosely to the floor as she makes a slow, astounded march to the chest. Poog drops to his knees, a single tear flowing from his cheek as he thanks Zarongel for such divine province.
The chosen Licktoads gather around the chest in anticipation. Mogmurch's eyes, though barely visible behind his skull-mask, quiet clearly depict a yearning reserved for dog-butchering or carnal sin. Chuffy finishes his examination of the chest, giving Mogmurch a reverent nod.
The clasp on the front, though tarnished, issues a satisfying metal-on-metal rub, then clunk as it bounces off the wooden chest. Mogmurch's fingers wriggle into the seam of the chest. He lifts. Creaking -- joyous creaking -- the sound of wrongs being righted, of secret things being laid bare for the world! The Licktoads gather around to witness The Opening.
Within the chest lay a number of munitions; indeed, the Licktoads have hit a veritable motherlode: 14 fireflingers, 20 itty-bitty-bangs, and 7 birdbooms.
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Poog immediately begins to dance around and sing.
"Licktoads is da bestest ones;
Betterest than moons and suns;
Sparks go bang;
Blades go clang;
Other tribes just turns and runs."
Truly Poog filled with spirit of Forework! Also, possibly insane.
Mogmurch joyously chimes in with his own verse:
"Licktoads find the sacred cache,
Hid in Vorka's secret stash!
Grab the lot!
Get them hot!
Burn our enemies to ash!"
He parades around the cabin with his arms full of the destructive bounty. Surely this merits at least another festival, if not a celebratory raid on the longshanks' town!
Best Licktoads load up all fireworks and everything else valuable that they can lug comfortably this trip. As Licktoads leave, Poog has revelation pertaining to religious moment: fire has taken hold of full-quarter of pitiful fence!
Trip home is uneventful, though self-restraint difficult to muster.
Best Licktoads return triumphant! So much so, Chief Gutwad proclaim big feast be held in honor of heroes!
"Second-best Licktoads! I very pleased with what you bring back. And that you bring back Licktoad relics too. Don't have to behead any goblins. Some days, that might upset me. Today, no beheadings!"
"I bestow honors on you! Great honors!"
"Poog of Zarongel! I heard of your fine works! Tonight, I proclaim you now Boss of Big Fires! You still Boss of Little Fires if want."
"Chuffy! You stab well, and stabbing necessary part of Goblin life. You now appointed Overseer of Village Stabbings. I ask you oversee stabbing of previous overseer. She not know yet."
"Reta! You tough, and we need tough gobos protecting village. You now Head Village Watcher. Chuffy may help with easing current Head Village Watched out of position."
"Mogmurch! I have something special for Mogmurch. You have booms and wit and... well, there been rumors. I present to you forced marriage to daughter, Gupy Wartbits-Gutwad! Lots of love, and if rumors true, you need every bit of it."
Reta joins in:
"Reta smash them in the face
Chuffy sneaks from secret place
Mogmurch bombs them
Poogy gods them
Licktoads is the da bestest race"
Mogmurch blinks in disbelief! Did Chief Gutwad really offer/mandate a marriage to his voluptuous and notoriously amorous daughter? This might be just the thing to spice up/supplant my marriage with Rempty!
"Poog!" Mogmurch calls, "Ready the wedding fire!"
Poog looks over to the smarty mask one, happy that he has finally won his respect... or at least happy that the mask one no longer wants to stabby stabby Poog.
Feeling excited that he has been asked to perform a task that he can carry out with zeal, Poog starts spinning around in a circle.
"BEHOLD... Da Fire ah Matree Mohnee!"
As he spins, Poog begins chanting to Zarongel. His spinning gets faster and his chanting gets louder. The tips of his little goblin fingers begin to glow with bright holy light.
Heroes of Licktoad tribe enjoy revelry of job well done and forced betrothal. Best Licktoads make lesser Licktoads to dares leading up to the actual ceremony -- Chief ordaining Mogmurch kiss Gupy and give him many (more) grandbabies. Bedding ceremony took place immediately after wedding ceremony, both carried out at furious pace at behest of Gupy.
Life continue as normal for Licktoads after. Poog do good job setting many things, some living, on fire. Reta do good job watching. Chuffy do good job stabbing. Mogmurch do good job to walk most days.
One day, Slorb requests Best Licktoads see Chief Gutwad for important business.
"Licktoad heroes. Tribe has urgent need. Firework shortage have tribe morale low, and you know where last stash was. Must be more there. Must be. Go back to ship and find more. If none there, we make other plans."
Mogmurch bites his lip in consternation, then winces. In the future, I need to NOT have Rempty and Gupy participate in face-munch contests.
"Firework cache plentiful, but Licktoads snatch all up," he says. "Maybe more firework below deck, but not explore there yet. Maybe even bigger supply! Other Licktoads with me?"
Chuffy with you! Licktoads bring back more firework or stab stuff trying!
Mogmurch thinks a moment. "You know, those two things not necessarily mutually exclusive."
Few activities mutually exclusive with stabbing.
Best Licktoads return to ship to search for fireworks. Most of pitiful fence now charcoal, but rest of site seems untouched except from maybe vultures and crows. Check ship... all cabins, insides, outsides... no more fireworks. Chief Gutwad wouldn't listen, but still check.
With no treasure, Best Licktoads return to camp, but something not quite right. Camp quiet. Too quiet.
Best Licktoads return to camp to find they, in fact, only Licktoads. Bodies of many (maybe all) goblins piled high and set on fire all missing an ear. Why only one, though? If going to eat Goblin ear, why not get both? Especially if dead -- they won't miss it?
Home has been raided, and after search, only few things of value survived plundering.
Now homeless, the remaining Licktoads have decided to travel to the closest tribe of goblins they know about—the Birdcrunchers. Maybe they’ll have room for them to join!
When the Licktoads arrive in Birdcruncher territory, something seems wrong. The Birdcrunchers appear unusually nervous and frightened, cowering around the entrance to their cave. They aren’t even trying to defend their territory.
A wrinkled old goblin with bulging eyes waddles out of the crowd, approaching the Licktoads. She’s obviously some sort of shaman — maybe even the chieftain. If anyone here knows whether or not the Licktoads can join the tribe, it’d likely be her!