Poog continues oinks with Nordy. Reta hops up on Nord and Nordkeeper drops rope, shoving handfulls of cider apples in mouth.
Nord races out of corner, Reta flailing with...
Dance seems to go on forever, until Nordkeeper yell "I finith cthewing! You off now!"
Goblins 'round ring cheer as Reta walks from ring, first winner of dare!
The foul winch used my ears as reins... why I should come to expect honor from their likes is beyond me.
Reta gets out of the ring and bows to the crowd.
Reta looks at the bottle guard. "See, Reta ride the Squealy Nord, Reta is the bestest Licktoad next to the super awesome-y awesomeness bestest Chief."
Reta looks at the piggy in the pin and kind of feels sorry for him, him is too little to smash, maybe him just misses his other piggy friends
Chuffy next in line. Many gobos shocked; mostly because many don't recongize this Licktoad. Nordkeeper stumble up to Chuffy: "You... I... Nor... are you... apples... I..." Nordkeeper greener than usual.
Chuffy jump on Nord with thud and away they go!
Chuffy start well, but sudden turn send Chuffy for loop!
Loops Chuffy's specialty, and he land on feet safely.
Enjoy the mud, you filthy animal.
Last gobo to try is Poog. Bottle guard takes over Nord responsibilities -- Nordkeeper currently emptying yummy yums from tummy tum. Nord seem less apprehensive -- probably wore down from so many dances. Poog gets on and around the pen they go!
Nord wore down, but Poog overconfidence get better of him and he slide off!
Poog barely catch, saving self from mud and indignity.
Leave it to this scum to snatch defeat from the hands of victory. I do hope he dies last, though I have my doubts.
Cider belch
Slorb address Licktoads: "That mark end of dance. Reta! You dance well with scary Nord. So Chief present you this!"
Slorb hand Reta coveted Dragon Brew Gourd! What envious token!
Reta accepts the Dragon Brew Gourd.
"Thank you, your grand awesomeness. Reta not feared of anything, Reta show all Licktoads she am not feared of any dare!"
Reta stuffs her prize into her bag, she will ask Poog to figure it out later, she has a big stick, not a vast knowledge of potions.
Mogmurch is in awe of the reward! He'd been trying to puzzle out the secrets of fire breath for centuries! Also, the esoteric science of chronology, with similar levels of success.
Maybe Reta will give Mogmurch NOPE.
Mogmurch is drunk on cider apples and high on mutagen, but his study of alchemy has taught him that he'd need to be WAY more enhanced to believe that.
Maybe Reta will trade brew for NOPE.
For all the considerable wealth Mogmurch possesses, nothing could equate to the value of breathing fire.
Maybe Reta will fall asleep and forget about brew and not notice if NOPE.
Mogmurch bites his lip in consternation. He slinks off to the apple barrel to attain further enhancement.
Loops Chuffy's specialty, and he land on feet safely.
Chuffy fail entertainingly. Chuffy believe entertaining failure third only to success. Chuffy believe success second only to sneakiness, but current existential crisis have Chuffy rethinking previous policy of constantly sneaking.
To complete entertaining failure Chuffy scream "AAAAAAH!" as Chuffy fly through air, and laugh maniacally when he execute perfect landing.
Betrayed! Poog betrayed! Nord say Poog give Nord goody goods and Nord let Poog ride. Poog give Nord squished old lucky toad. Poog give Nord pickled fish heads. Poog give Nord pickled potatoes. They a failed experiment, but at least they something. All goody goods go to Nord, but Nord no let Poog ride!
Poog has a history of inability when it comes to riding animals. As a cleric of Zarongel, it is his greatest shame.
Any Licktoad make any crack about Poog no ride animals, and Poog burn that Licktoad in holy fire of Zarongel ju-ju! So zip it up chumps!
Poog will get revenge. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not tomorrow's tomorrow. Maybe not tomorrow's tomorrow's today. Maybe not ever, but one day Poog poke pig. Poog poke pig good.
Muk approaches best Licktoad goblins: "Okays... I's seens somes ofs yous eats... I dares you all..." Muk puts writing horseskin bag in each gobohand... "To eat these bullslugs! In a minute!"
Many Licktoads, already on verge of getting violently sick, get violently sick.
Bullslugs black, wriggly, and size of sausages. Bullslug not too terrible food; wiggle much when fresh, taste like rotten fish, and burst and squeal when bit down on. Avoiding slime bladder delicate procedure -- slime bladder will make gobohurl.
Two more cider apples down, and tangling with Reta still seems like a bad idea.
Swallowing huge, toxic slugs whole, though? Perfectly reasonable.
Suppressing his gag reflex like he taught Rempty to do, Mogmurch swallows slug after slug after slug, finishing off the whole bag in short order. He attempts to crush the empty bag against his well-armored forehead, but is disappointed by the gentle flumph sound it provides. He gets the feeling that the slugs may rise up and overthrow his stomach contents later, but that's tomorrow-Mogmurch's problem. Stupid dogbait won't know what hit him!
For now, though, Mogmurch crows triumphantly, "Mogmurch hungeriest gobbo alive! Swallowing huge slimy load super great metric of personal value!"
Poog eat bullslugs no problem!
Poog hope eat bullslugs no problem...
Poog shoves the first of the five bull slugs into his mouth, chewing carefully in an attempt to carve out the slime bladder and avoid retching all over his own feet.
Poog realizes that his delicate procedure has worked! He didn't vomit on his own shoes! Brilliant!
Then Poog looks over and sees the majesty and terror of what the smarty-smart mask one has just done with the bag-o-slugs.
The majesty... the terror...
Poog crinkles his brow and scratches his... uh... brow?
Maybe Poog abandon delicate procedure and swallow all slugs like smarty-smart...
As Poog thinks on this topic, he mindlessly reaches into the bag before him for a snack, popping the second bull slug into his maw.
Woops! Ah well... I guess delicate procedure work again... hope delicate procedure work again.
That was close one. Almost swallowed separated slime bladder. Poog can't take pressure. Poog just get this over with.
Abandoning all form, Poog tosses the remaining three high into the air. He jumps up and bites down on the three sailing gastropods in one swift motion.
"BLECH"
Was bad idea. Poog should stick to delicate procedure.
"Chuffy own pustules far grosser than any slug, and as Chuffy name imply, Chuffy regularly lick them. Bring forth the SLUGS!"
Chuffy attempts to eat slugs in the most sensational manner possible, leaving the mechanical fallout of that decision in the hands of the GM.
Reta loves slugs, loves squishing slugs, squishes out bladders of each slug as she eats them, Reta loves taste.
Apparently all the jostling around from riding Squealy Nord makes Reta toss her cookies.
Reta obviously not wanting to lose her awesomeness in the face of the other gobos places the blame elsewhere.
"Muk, you picked the ickiest of the icky slugs. Reta normally loves sluggies."
Mogmurch swallow slugs with wild abandon. Wanting to set bar high for personal growth and metrics, Mogmurch do unthinkable and ignore all slime bladders...
Mogmurch successfully eat all slugs in record time, but stomach feel real funny...
Yep, Mogmurch going to lose dinner.
Poog start slow, hoping to avoid slime bladders. One down fine, but when sees Mogmurch swallow all in short succession, Poog get inspired to do same.
Just before time up, Poog finish last slug, but last-minute indiscretions catching up quick...
Very quick.
Chuffy decide best way is fast way, and fast way is hopefully best way.
Chuffy grin as finish last slug...
Slug get last laugh, though.
Reta, not to be outdone, begins munchin on bull slugs, but struggle to eat without also eat bladder. Not be outdone, Reta pulls out all stops to finish her bag.
Not second too soon. But Reta find from others slugs don't stay down long...
Reta try hard to keep slugs down, but slugs try harder to come up.
Hmm... Mogmurch and Chuffy eat bag of bullslugs quick... Mogmurch's spread was more impressive, but Chuffy keep slugs down longer. I impressed with his gutteral fortitude!
Chief Gutwad throw personal sword into mud and point at Chuffy.
Slorb decree: "His Mighty Girthness choose Chuffy victor of dare! Chief Gutwad generous, and loan you personal treasure from Moot House, Gorge of Gluttons!"
Gorge of Gluttons well-known slashy-stab in Licktoad tribe -- kill many dog and horse alike. Many gobos stare in silence as proclamation made.
"Reta no feel so good."
Especially since Reta puked in front of everyone.
Reta stares in awe at the Gorge of Gluttons loving the idea of killing normal doggies and big doggies.
Reta wonders if Chuffikins needs wonderful smasher. Reta looks at Chuffy with envy and looks at the with Gorge of Gluttons lust.
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Mogmurch's jaw drops. After such a sterling performance, how could he lose? Enraged, he rears back to headbutt Chuffy into oblivion!
He miscalculates Chuffy's position (not remotely the first time) and thrusts his face over his opponent's shoulder, accidentally giving him a warm congratulatory hug. He attempts to crush Chuffy in his mighty grasp, but only succeeds in making this all the more awkward.
Maybe I can still make this work in my favor, he thinks, his stomach roiling. Mogmurch concentrates on bringing the slugs up and, subsequently, straight down Chuffy's back. He closes his eyes and heaves. Here it comes! Sweet revenge!
Mogmurch, having lost his grip and toppled onto his back in the mud, vomits only on himself.
Slorb use common courtesy and wait until most of vomiting have subsided. "In honor of Chuffy, I propose new dare. Hide or get clubbed!"
Goblins sober or otherwise raise cheer. Hide or get clubbed fun game. Goblin hides, and they get found, they get clubbed. Most goblins like because simple rules and satisfy sadistic appetites.
"Licktoads give opportunity for you to hide, then we sound beating horn! If not found by time we sound beating horn again, you win dare!"
Mogmurch turns his head to the side and spits out a mouthful of vomit. This odoriferous effluvia would most definitely prove injurious to my stealth, he thinks. No matter! I have a cunning plan!
Mogmurch carefully scrubs the vomit from his skin and belongings. As Slorb organizes the beaters, Mogmurch sneakily takes off his mask and eyepatch, draws his club, and joins the throng of bloodthirsty goblins. Once the chase is on, he'll split from the pack and crouch under the Teeter Chair - the point that everybody is racing away from. When they fail to locate him, he'll don his standard garb, step out from his hiding place, and make a fool of everybody!
Poog smiles when he hears that the next game is going to be hide or get clubbed. Poog like hiding, and maybe that smarty smart get clubbed. heh heh heh. Just then, Poog gets a great idea.
Poog get great idea!
Poog rummages through his now mostly empty pickle sack. His grimy fist emerges with Dogfinder, Poog's lucky pet toad. Poog spends a moment or two whispering in ribbets and croaks. Poog explains that Dogfinder is to assume his usual role as sentry and alarm. Poog will hide and Dogfinder play look out. If Licktoads get close to hiding spot, then Dogfinder croak the secret croak. Poog will sneak to new and better hiding spot. The plan is fool proof.
This plan fool proof!
Reta vomits all over the ground doubled over in pain before mustering the courage to rise to the occasion.
Reta no let the boys hide better than she. Reta find bestest hidey spot and be sneaky sneaky quiet so no one can find her and she not get hit with big club.
Chuffy, master of stealth, blend into swamp like shadow blend in dark...
Hoard of inferior Licktoads scour swamp to find best Licktoads. Mogmurch clever and try to outsmart drunken Licktoads by blending in.
Mogmurch find pack of gobos and quietly integrate himself in.
Mogmurch do best to blend in; stumble, mumble threats, and look around for other best Licktoads.
One goblin look suspiciously at unadorned Mogmurch...
Mogmurch also look around...
Not much luck, either...
Poog find good hiding spot; hollow log marked for burnination for Zarongel, but special occasion not present itself yet. Dogfinder stand sentry like good captive non-squished toad, but alarm ribbet never croaked...
Licktoad Legend say Chuffy dissolve into shadow. No one know for certain, but no one find.
Reta hide in swamp best she can, but struggle to find place that hide her and constant retching.
5 goblins come close to Reta's hidey spot. Reta concentrate on not vomiting while the pass...
One gobo close, but keep walking, distracted by noise in swamp.
A sense of satisfaction settles upon Chuffy as he stands incredibly still among the swamplands. This be Chuffy raisin tray! By be unseen Chuffy be seen! Chuffy mysterious and complicated. Chuffy's existential crisis abates. For now.
Mogmurch narrows his eyes.
You cannot hope to beat Chuffy in a hide-off, he thinks. He is simply the best there is.
Beating horn now bleating horn, and all Licktoads return, no (sanctioned) clubbing occurring. Mogmurch successful in blending with other goblins, not familiar with unadorned head. Reta and Poog find good hidey spots. Chuffy... still mystery.
Chief Gutwad hear stories of how braggart better Licktoads hid so good. Gutwad seem impressed by one in particular.
Slorb speak: "Mogmurch, you show smarts and adaptionbility in the face of head smashes. His Royal Girthness award you, for use on trip, the Ring That Lets You Climb Real Good! Use smartly and bring back, or else!"
While gone, new addition. Not new to Licktoads, just new to area today: Rusty Earbiter.
Rusty Earbiter used for practice. Practice for many things! Crawling practice! Escaping practice! Ear protect practice! Rusty Earbiter a coil of wires, bent swords, vines, thorns... good for practice! Owners of three ears already on Earbiter need more practice.
Bloody nose guard pipe up: "Yous sneaky, and yous clever, but is yous tough enough to go through the Rusty Earbiter!?"
Licktoad gobos cheer and chant; want to see you go through Rusty Earbiter.
Reta, still looking green, thinks to herself while looking at the task ahead.
Reta no feel so good, sluggies still taste in back of throat, worried might turn into worm at this rate, might help with going through Rusty Earbiter.
Poog looks at the Rusty Ear biter, determination evident in his beady eyes.
Zarongel protect Poog. Zarongel protect Poog. Zarongel protect Poog.
Poog closes his eyes and FEELS his way through the barbed, bladed, slicing coiled contraption.
Reta volunteer first to enter Rusty Earbiter!
Reta take time to assess best point of enter, and find nice wide place to put big goblin head through, but progress slow. Then progress no... Reta try and try to push through but something snag -- probably dress.
Eventually, Licktoads get bored of Reta's effort and Reta forced to back out way she came -- relatively short trip.
Poog, lubricated by faith in Zarongel, next to attempt Rusty Earbiter. Poog carefully make way through coils, eyes closed, much to excitement of Licktoads. Zarongel faith lubrication work, and Poog escape with both ears!
Chuffy braves the Earbiter
Escape Artist = 1d20+8-2 = (19)+8-2=25, (15)+8-2=21, (11)+8-2=17, (15)+8-2=21, (5)+8-2=11, (12)+8-2=18.
(These all include the -2 penalty for Sickened.)
Mogmurch observes his brethren's attempts to squirm through the deadly coil. This tangle of pain could easily take off one or more of my favorite extremities, he thinks. No matter! I have another cunning plan!
Mogmurch carefully tucks his ears under his mask, then patrols the buffet area one last time in search of suitable personal lubricant that would permit him to squeeze through the horrible tunnel without harm. He slathers whatever brine, grease, slug slime, or what-have-you all over his body, then begins his squirm through the Earbiter.
His clever precautions seem to be paying off, but Mogmurch starts to get too cocky for his own good...
Chuffy enter Rusty Earbiter, and through careful maneuvers make it through okay!
Mogmurch slather self with nasty stuff... mud, slime, bits of bull slug... oh... um... origin unknown, but now not time to pontificate on origins and destinations of bull slugs!
Mogmurch enter Rusty Earbiter and do real well until very end. Major snag hold Mogmurch up, and exciting run through Rusty Earbiter no longer exciting.
Mogmurch finally come out, but not before Licktoads lose interest in effort.
Hmm... Poog do well. Zarongel venerable God, and I may do well to reward his favored son.
Chief Gutwad point at Poog and motion to come closer. As Poog approach, Chief Gutwad remove robe from shoulders.