And for the first time, the others discover WHY Elgan usually sleeps outside in a tree.
He snores like a rampaging Balrog,...
;P
Altai settles down again as he finishes rememorising spells. "So, Stig, would you care for a game of chess, just to pass the time?"
<slyly: "Thrree move handicap?"
I guess...the party moves off to the north, after the dragon's mountain, on day two of a five day trek.
After a few hours of wandering through the snowy forest, up ahead they see a ginormous fallen tree 200 feet long and 10 feet tall, about 50 feet forward of them.
On the tree, there is a troll. Short as Pip, though his head and hands seem twice as big as his frame would suggest; dressed in clean robes and coat of weasel pelt.
He has a brace of skunks hanging over the side of the trunk, one of which he seems to be consuming raw and unskinned.
Beldan’s just all shy like a young teenaged boy, though if any opportunity presents itself to show off, impress or help in minor ways, he’ll do it.
"Good morning! I, um... so, how are the, ah, skunks??" Altai can't help but stare at the gremlin.
Beldan’s just all shy like a young teenaged boy, though if any opportunity presents itself to show off, impress or help in minor ways, he’ll do it.
She's in full armor the whole time. And looks out the window more than a paranoid crackhead.
And she seems to want something to happen all her watch.
"Good morning! I, um... so, how are the, ah, skunks??" Altai can't help but stare at the gremlin.
He bites the scent gland, and it erupts. He smacks as he eats.
It really stinks now.
"Real tasty. Mmmmmmm.
Want some?"
"No thank you, I just ate. Say, you wouldn't happen to have seen a baker's dozen or so giant wolves just walk past, would you?"
"Naah. Just skunks."
He keeps munching.
Then,
"So; you the guys killed Horse eater?"
"Yeah, that was me. You guys weren't related or something, I hope? Pals, maybe?"
He munches nonchalantly. Finishes one skunk.
Starts on another.
"Yeah. I'm his little brother."
He munches nonchalantly. Finishes one skunk.
Starts on another."Yeah. I'm his little brother."
<Stig rather uncharacteristically jumps into a conversation with the outsider: "Aam th' yoongest ay eeecht dwarves. Ye coods aye return th' favur by knockin' puckle ay them aff. Ye want th' addy? "
<Pulls out a large flagon and thrusts it out at the skunkmuncher.>
"Skunk, eh? Rinse et down?
"I see. I'd say you're better off without the mouthy git. I'm certainly not making any apologies. He was a wanker, and he deserved everything he got. I have his spellbook, though, if you want it back."
He munches nonchalantly. Finishes one skunk.
Starts on another."Yeah. I'm his little brother."
<Stig rather uncharacteristically jumps into a conversation with the outsider: "Aam th' yoongest ay eeecht dwarves. Ye coods aye return th' favur by knockin' puckle ay them aff. Ye want th' addy? "
<Pulls out a large flagon and thrusts it out at the skunkmuncher.>
"Skunk, eh? Rinse et down?
He won't turn it down. The skunk is really repugnant though.
"That's guiddd."
<Pulls out a large flagon and thrusts it out at the skunkmuncher.>
"Skunk, eh? Rinse et down?
He won't turn it down. The skunk is really repugnant though.
"That's guiddd."
<Stig rips a little cloth off his tunic, rolls it into two balls, and dabs them in white fire--stuffing them into his nostrils.>
"I see. I'd say you're better off without the mouthy git. I'm certainly not making any apologies. He was a wanker, and he deserved everything he got. I have his spellbook, though, if you want it back."
"Mouthy? What, this is our forest. We can say what the f+#@ we want. You're in OUR land.
A!%*!&%."he's all huffy for some reason. He's one of them "free speech" trolls.
With the offer of the spellbook he cocks his head in surprise. Then,
"Well...my big brothers sent me after you to collect weregild for my brother's death, seeing as you killed him, you freely admitted to killing him, and there's no dispute to that."
<Stig rips a little cloth off his tunic, rolls it into two balls, and dabs them in white fire--stuffing them into his nostrils.><Pulls out a large flagon and thrusts it out at the skunkmuncher.>
"Skunk, eh? Rinse et down?
He won't turn it down. The skunk is really repugnant though.
"That's guiddd."
"Nosebleed? I get them too.
Big brothers....broke my nose so many times, septum finaly wouldn't regenerate right. That's why I talk like this....all nasally twangy."
Every time Beldan opens his mouth to speak he ends up gagging at the sight and smell of the troll-eaten skunk.
“Ueergh...”
"Hey, I didn't kill Horseeater because he was talking s#%% - I killed him because he and his githyanki paramour and his zombie buddies attacked us without provocation. His big mouth made me enjoy killing him. There's a difference there."
"Weregild, eh? How much are we talking about here? I actually wouldn't mind paying a little for peace of mind."
"What's wrong with him? he looks ill. Is he got the pocks?"
“I d- splhumffchk.”
"Hey. You gonna eat that?"
“False alarm. Swallowed it.”
"Gute apetit!"
Elgan enjoys the peacefulness that comes throughout his watch. Although he MAY have snuck a couple of surreptitious peeks towards the warrior woman,...
('Whut? She has fahn bone struc-cher!')
He is completely taken aback at the sight of the tiny troll chowing down on skunks. But recovers quickly enough.
"Yeh knows, Dey tastes bettah wit' a lil' muskrat musk. Jes' a lil', fer flavah, yeh unnerstan'?" He offers to the disturbing troll..
Hnoss is kinda sneering disgustedly at the critcher. Her belly seems iron, but she's pretty grossed out.
Gjetost is perplexed, and maybe a but bored. He's kinda stony anyway so he's hard to read.
“Pfft. Ogay, thad’th bedder,” says Beldan, spitting then covering his mouth and nose with his hand. “Tho whad do we owe you? We’re in a hurry. The value of thad thpell book countth againthd id.”
"Hey, I didn't kill Horseeater because he was talking s*#& - I killed him because he and his githyanki paramour and his zombie buddies attacked us without provocation. His big mouth made me enjoy killing him. There's a difference there."
"Weregild, eh? How much are we talking about here? I actually wouldn't mind paying a little for peace of mind."
"Hey, I didn't kill Horseeater because he was talking s#!~ - I killed him because he and his githyanki paramour and his zombie buddies attacked us without provocation. His big mouth made me enjoy killing him. There's a difference there."
"Weregild, eh? How much are we talking about here? I actually wouldn't mind paying a little for peace of mind."
I'm rootin for ya dude. Take care of business....
Oh; I'll be gone tomorrow night; I got some research to do at work till 10 pm so....
"Hey, I didn't kill Horseeater because he was talking s*#& - I killed him because he and his githyanki paramour and his zombie buddies attacked us without provocation. His big mouth made me enjoy killing him. There's a difference there."
"Weregild, eh? How much are we talking about here? I actually wouldn't mind paying a little for peace of mind."
duuuh.....vomit is funny. so I missed this.
"The sum they quoted was 30,000 gold marks for Horseeater's death."
"Really? With such an estimate, your big brothers put several of their personality traits on display. They are optimistic, they are misinformed about the value of currency, and, finally, they are ignorant about Horeseater's many personality defects. That sum is, to put it in delicate terms, b%%#@@~ crazy. How about 300 gold?"
"Heh heh. My turds are worth 300 gold."
“He was a troll. You should pay us.”
"That's quite...elitist of you, hewmon. Who's the troll now?"
“He was a troll. You should pay us.”
<Stig shakes his head and looks up at Altai.>
"Ye want Ah shoods kill heem?"
"That's quite...elitist of you, hewmon. Who's the troll now?"
"Ah dornt want tae kill ye. Nae offense ur naethin', it's jist mah job."
"HEY! What did I do? You can't kill me. That would be evil."
“We’ll we’re not paying him that much. It’s highway robbery, seriously, that rude troll wasnot worth that much alive or dead. So we’ll be on our way. If runty troll here wants to try to stop us, then I guess we’ll have to kill him, otherwise we all go on our way and just pretend this unpleasant exchange never happened.”
"It brings up another question..." Altai turns from Stig to the troll. "Say... What's your name, anyway? Say, Ponyeater, seeing that we're not going to pay your big brothers 30.000 gold, would it add anything to the weregild if we killed you too, especially considering it doesn't sound like the big boys like you very much? Take all the time you need in answering this one."
"HEY! What did I do? You can't kill me. That would be evil."
"Frae th' swatch ay ye, an' judgin' by yer dietary choices, Eh'd say killin' ye is a gift ay mercy."
"Highway robbery?!? His children will suffer. His wife is a widow now. They're the ones who have been robbed.
You elitists just think trolls are inferior to you. Well I'll tell ya! We have feelings too! We breathe, cry, laugh, love.......
all that crap!"
"It brings up another question..." Altai turns from Stig to the troll. "Say... What's your name, anyway? Say, Ponyeater, seeing that we're not going to pay your big brothers 30.000 gold, would it add anything to the weregild if we killed you too, especially considering it doesn't sound like the big boys like you very much? Take all the time you need in answering this one."
"Maurice.
Naah, it wouldn't add anything. I'm a cutting."
"HEY! What did I do? You can't kill me. That would be evil.""Frae th' swatch ay ye, an' judgin' by yer dietary choices, Eh'd say killin' ye is a gift ay mercy."
"Don't tell me you don't eat animal flesh. Hypocrite."
"Highway robbery?!? His children will suffer. His wife is a widow now. They're the ones who have been robbed.
You elitists just think trolls are inferior to you. Well I'll tell ya! We have feelings too! We breathe, cry, laugh, love.......
all that crap!"
"Fur mah part, ef someain woods hae killed mah Mammy when Ah was a lil sucklin dwarrow, eh'd probably be th' laird ay mah ain ben an' owner ay puckle mines. Canty an' successful. Swatch am me, aw Ah hae is a keg ay hootch an' a hammer tae pick th' meat it ay. Parents ur highly ower rated."
"Bah. Ol' Horseeater had no wife or kids - if he had, he wouldn't have been slumming around the woods of Mittlemarch with a gith and a gaggle of zombies. And even if he had any family, he was clearly incompetent and stupid. They would be better off without him."
"Also, Maurice - your continuing line of absurdities lead me to doubt even the existence of any big brothers. I think you're trying to just scam us for gold."
"Don't tell me you don't eat animal flesh. Hypocrite.""HEY! What did I do? You can't kill me. That would be evil.""Frae th' swatch ay ye, an' judgin' by yer dietary choices, Eh'd say killin' ye is a gift ay mercy."
"There's eatin' flesh an' 'en there's eatin' erse flesh. Tois completerlay differn hings."