Heathy's Isle of Dread Thread

Game Master Heathansson

Beldan ignores the troll and concentrates on the matter at hand.

"You aren't very smart, are you? You know a rogue can't beat a wizard."
he continues.
"You are......created of lesser stuff, pink humon. Your Epic Saga is full of failure."

"You know I speak frankly,"
says the wizard troll.

A frank wizard troll, you’ve been looking forward to this haven’t you Heathy? Great stuff.

“Lucky for me it’s not the rogue who’s about to kick your warty green butt then,” mutters Beldan.

"You should all be wizards. Then maybe you wouldn't be such failures."

actually, I was so into the concept of a spellcasting troll that the entendre didn't occur to me until right now.

"Come on, Horsegobbler or whatever your name was, you know she's the brains of your outfit. You're merely the good-looking faceman. 'Cause it sure as hell ain't her."

"HA! You can't beat me, so you resort to hyperbole and insult.
It's okay; I will stab you in your pretty face, then eat your steaming innards, you moronic pink humon.
Plus your mother services gnolls, filthy skank."

LOL! This guy is awesome.

"Gnoll-human hybrids, eh? Are you intimating that your compatriot is really my sister? You have given me much to think about."

"Ha ha! Laugh, you little son of a hyena f$*#er! I enjoy my meat flavored with good humours. You fail, wizard! Your choice of spells is weak! I bet you memorized magic missile today!
I will feed your brains to ice weasels; they are too meagre a fare for me due to their stupidity."

"As a matter of fact, I did memorise Magic missile today. It is a dependable and accurate formula, well-suited or long-distance sniping. Of course, you wouldn't know - I bet you don't even know how to cast it, much less use it well."

What this guy needs is a weaselly little sidekick that says things like "Well, my background is in the arts, and I still think you suck".

"As a matter of fact, I did memorise Magic missile today.

I know. You're a moran.

It is a dependable and accurate formula, well-suited or long-distance sniping.

It's a total waste of a spell slot. See above.

Of course, you wouldn't know - I bet you don't even know how to cast it, much less use it well."

I'm not even going to dignify your blathering with a response. You should just be thankful that your corpse can provide me with protein.

What this guy needs is a weaselly little sidekick that says things like "Well, my background is in the arts, and I still think you suck".

I know, right?

Altai Iscarni wrote:

The Mapper wrote:

>>>>>map01-06.jpg<<<<<

PS: Altai's at A13.

>>>>>map01-07.jpg<<<<<

Elgan's up...

"You know, I bet the corpse-hugger over there memorised Magic missile today, too."

The weirdest thing about those discussions was that there was never proposed any alternatives to MM. What are you supposed to memorise instead? 8 slots of Enlarge person?

"The fail in her is worse. She's not just a gish.....she's a magus. What a waste of a spell to summon her; owell, I just wanted to actually try it out. So I'd have some solid evidence when I'm arguing about what failures magii are."

Hell if I know.

The weirdest thing about those discussions was that there was never proposed any alternatives to MM. What are you supposed to memorise instead? 8 slots of Enlarge person?

I can’t think of too many damage dealing first level spells that are more versatile and potent than magic missile. Of course, the optimisers will tell you that casting spells that do hit point damage is weak sauce and full of fail – who knew? I don’t think they’d advise enlarge person as a suitable replacement though, because buffing your warrior types (who are next to useless in any conceivable situation) is even more pointless. Being marginally less useless is still pretty useless is what they would say (well no, they would probably just say FAIL or Hi Welcome and leave it at that).

Oh, and apparently examples of fighters such as Stig who are routinely dishing out 100+ hit points damage per round on a full attack do not prove that fighters are any good. Fighters should (apparently) be doing that much damage at 6th level to be at all worthwhile.

What we need is a wizard who has a high enough initiative to ALWAYS act first (in the surprise round no less), and cast a ‘save or suck’ spell that will end the battle in one round ... if the bad guys fail their save (the optimisers are strangely silent on what to do if the bad guys don’t fail their saves ... because any ‘decent’ spell caster will have a DC for saves on their spells that the bad guys will surely never make it).

And haste is teh suxxor apparently (another recent revelation for me) ... see enlarge person for why.

"The whole entirety of Asgard is fail. All fighters....pauugh!!! THAT is why trolls will inherit the universe when Ragnarok, Teh twfailight of the gods is over: because....WE........ARE......WIZARDS!!!"

"The whole entirety of Asgard is fail. All fighters....pauugh!!! THAT is why trolls will inherit the universe when Ragnarok, Teh twfailight of the gods is over: because....WE........ARE......WIZARDS!!!"

<Stig decides to interject into the trash talk bellowing match.>

"Honestly, Ah didne e'en ken a trol coods coont its fingers an' toes!"

"How many fingers am I holding up?
I think I'll let you live, stumpy. You're a resource drain on my wizard enemy."

This last page of posts is my homage to Voltaire's Candide.

ELGAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!
Be careful; no steaming hot coffee when you read this page, dude.

Yeah, ol' Donkey Munch has gotten off quite a few zingers tonight. One of the best things about this campaign is the sheer amount of dialogue we manage to stuff into each round, and the trash talk is flying particularly fast and loose tonight.

meh....I can't sit there, dialogue, and time it for six seconds; that'd be suckass.

meh....I can't sit there, dialogue, and time it for six seconds; that'd be suckass.

The trash talk and one liners tend to fly thick and fast when we are waiting for someone to post. It’s all good. I have to say, the comedy gold goes to Kruelaid / Stig (with Heathy as his partner in crime), though I miss some of Gittik’s pearls of wisdom.

yeah...me too. I'm still wild about the drunken Stigg, one hand over one eye; dog pulling a vodka sleigh.

yeah...me too. I'm still wild about the drunken Stigg, one hand over one eye; dog pulling a vodka sleigh.

That whole bit was gold.

Kruelaid's the best. Also, I've been around a lot of alkies, and Stig manages to be both pathetic and funny at the same time - I think that may be the most impressive thing he does. I actually almost feel sorry for poor Stig when I'm not laughing my ass off.

Speaking of fun stuff, this is flat-out hilarious.

Kruelaid's the best. Also, I've been around a lot of alkies, and Stig manages to be both pathetic and funny at the same time - I think that may be the most impressive thing he does. I actually almost feel sorry for poor Stig when I'm not laughing my ass off.

Speaking of fun stuff, this is flat-out hilarious.

Oh yeah, that thread is great. I stayed away for a while, I thought it was going to be another one of those aggravating char-opt threads, but it is very funny. AND informative.

Mph. Sorry to keep you waiting. But I'm glad that you've managed to keep yourself entertained. 62 posts, since 9am? REEELY?!? And thanks for the coffee warning,... ABOUT 20 POSTS TOO LATE! ;P

The elgan-trees leafy head swivels back and forth, trying follow the rapid-fire dialogue between combatants. Finally, with a frustrated shake of it's head, the druidtree directs his personal thundercloud to spit a bolt at Claw, (remembering that Altai mentioned Lightning was good for his personal beast of smiting!) and lumbers forward to add his wooden barrage of blows to Claw's opponent!

Lightning for Claw, move forward 2 squares, use reach to smack on #1!

2 slams! (+ lightning & Fire each hit!)
1d20 + 18 ⇒ (15) + 18 = 331d8 + 14 + 1d6 + 1d6 ⇒ (2) + 14 + (4) + (3) = 231d20 + 18 ⇒ (2) + 18 = 201d8 + 14 + 1d6 + 1d6 ⇒ (6) + 14 + (5) + (1) = 26

that's a lot of jabbering for one round....heh heh.
Elgan tree puts down two solid smacks on the mummy; it's getting down to the nitty gritty, but it's still in the fight at the moment.

Beldan's up.

Lightning for Claw, move forward 2 squares, use reach to smack on #1!

Ba-zim!With his DR, fast healing and now this, Claw is actually above his normal max hit points (flesh golems get temporary hit points from electrical damage)! And he's no longer slow. :D

Beldan rummages in his pack for a potion of cure serious wounds, then quickly kneels and pours the liquid between Hnoss’s rosebud lips. “Stay down,” he murmurs, keeping a wary eye on the nearby mummies. 3d8 + 5 ⇒ (5, 1, 2) + 5 = 13

Hmmm, looking at my character sheet I need to keep in mind that rogue talent which allows me an AoO when an ally strikes an enemy I'm adjacent to. That is a good one if I can remember to use it.

She nods. Closes her eyes;
Beldan, Elgan, Gjetost gain 21 h.p. as holy light bursts from Hnoss.

The troll backs up 15 feet taking an a.o.o. in the process, to i j -3/-4; casts a pit at Gjetost's feet; reflex save d.c. 18 or 10d6 ⇒ (6, 6, 5, 2, 2, 4, 5, 5, 2, 6) = 43 falling damage; reflex negates; no spell resistance.

The gith attacks Stig, crits him once; 22 h.p. damage....
The mummy at g7 moves to f6, attacks Beldan twice, hitting once for 14 h.p.

The mummy at e9 attacks claw, hits once, 18 h.p. damage.

*YOWR!!* With rediscovered speed and strength, Claw rends the bog-zombie next to him.

Two attacks against the bog-fellow in E9. Attack 1: 11+16+3(bard)=AC 30, damage 10+8+3(bard)=21. Attack 2: 9+16+3(bard)=AC 28, damage 11+8+3(bard)=22. If it falls, he takes a 5' step to DE 9-10.

"You talk much, but say little, troll. Your prattling will be your downfall." Gjetost jumps over the hole in the ground and follows the troll into the forest, bushes and small trees cracking beneath his bulk.

AoO first - 9+19+3(bard)+1(haste)-3(power attack)=AC 29, damage 10+16+3(bard)+9(power attack)=39. Reflex save 12+6=18, so he just made it; he then follows the troll. Attack roll 20!+19+3(bard)+1(haste)-3(power attack)=AC 40, confirm roll 8+19+3+1-3=AC 28, damage 12+16+3(bard)+9(power attack)=40x2=80. Ouch!

Claw almost drops the mummy; not quite.....

the troll starts shrieking; "please don't kill me! please! please! it was only a bit of sporting!!!"

he's hacked hard twice by the stonegiant.

Stiggy; Pip; Elgan up to bat. I gosta crash......
Epic. Game.
Woah....good time to make a decent save AND a crit.

Deciding that Stig probably has the githyanki swordswoman under control, Altai runs after the retreating troll. Spotting a flash of gold between the trees, he fires off a bolt of negatively-charged energy.

Move to B5 (thanks to my Boots of striding and springing) before hitting the troll wizard with Enervation. Attack roll 13+9=touch AC 22 minus some amount for cover, damage 3 negative levels.

Pip, Elgan and Stig to go. BTW, I have Elgan in FG 11-12 now.

Woah....good time to make a decent save AND a crit.

It really was... My dice seem to roll a lot of 9-13, but every once in a while they really rip off some wild sequences. He'll need to repay the karma gods next turn, I expect. Oh, and as I've said before, Gjetost is an absolute monster.

He's drained.
"Aaaah! Aaaaah! Enervation? You used f$@@ing enervation? OMFG what a f$~!ing idiot! Aaaaaaah!!!!!"

I gotta crash....
HUZZAAAAAAAH!!!

"Boccob's beard! Enervation is a fine spell. You clearly know nothing about the art of selecting and preparing spells. In fact, I'm starting to think you're a sorcerer."

Sorry, another quickie blink in. Pip has Cure Crit Wounds, if he can get to Hnoss he'll pop it off on her

4d8 + 12 ⇒ (8, 2, 5, 5) + 12 = 32

Seeing Hnoss crumpled, Pip atempts to revive her

steppin in....
Pip's reflex from that last fireball;
1d20 ⇒ 5

Pip can get to her and heal her; he gets to e7 I reckon.

Stigg; Elgan up to bat.

steppin in....

Pip's reflex from that last fireball;
1d20

(edit)

Altai Iscarni wrote:

The Mapper wrote:

>>>>>map01-06.jpg<<<<<

PS: Altai's at A13.

>>>>>map01-07.jpg<<<<<

last map...

That leaves Pip at 7 hit points. He may want to use that healing spell on himself, especially now that Hnoss is awake again.

I think he made it with bardic bonuses and whatnot.

Yeah, you're right. I just deleted my old post to avoid confusion. He took 20 from the cold bomb, though; he's getting a little ragged.

Back in an hour;

Stig/n/Elgan are up to bat!!!