Goblins III: The Farce Awakens! (Inactive)

Game Master Dave Young 992

Yes, that was him. I figured you'd keep the expendables, and sell the rest. I'm not trying to be lazy, I just thought it would be funny. He and the one you didn't kill were a CR 9 encounter in PFS world. They're like CR 4 to you, though. I just wanted to get things moving along. The gobbies take care of the rest. Tomorrow, you ride.

Nearly forgetting about her wounds, Reta takes out the vial given her and drinks from it. Her face contorts as if she'd just eaten a lemon.

Cure Serious wound potion: 3d8 + 5 ⇒ (6, 2, 4) + 5 = 17

"YUCK! RETA HATE MEDICINE. BUT IT DOES FIX RETA'S OWIES."

Hp's 72/76

Velag shrugs, "Me could have healed you. Pinchies less ucky, and way more funses."

You have no problems while in the city, and a good time is had by all.

The morning finds you and your mounts rested and ready to start out again, a little richer than before.

Valeros is dead. :( Did anyone take his mug?

Mug? What mug? Gutcutter did keep the human's hat that looks oddly like a cup though. Very fashionable

Very cool, though I've never seen Valeros with a hat. Is the mug Gutcutter's new hat?

Indeed it is

I wish I could draw. That would be a sight to see.

Gobbies rides and we watches for monsters and bad hooomid banditses!"

Gutcutter licks the rim of his mughat and pushes it onto his head, twisting it back and forth to secure it. Mounting his not so loyal mount dogs I assume?, he gives Bucko a serious look and nods,

"Rides!"

Yep. Goblin dogs that is.

Reta jumps on the back of her mount. "TIME TO GO PLACE WHERE MORE FUN AND LESS LONGSHANKS. RETA NOT LIKE LONGSHANKS. RETA THINK THEY NOT TRUSTABLE. THEY TRY AND KILL GOBBIES FOR NO REASON. THAT NOT MAKE SENSE TO RETA. RETA NICE GOBBIE." She grins at that before it quickly turns into a scowl. "NOW LET'S GO STOOPIDS! RETA NOT HAVE ALL DAY!" She huffs, spurring her dog on.

Bah. Wolf.

Velag says, "Them tasty though. Not as tasty as gnome, but still."

Velag has a wolf. The other 2 have goblin dogs. The wolf doesn't want to bunk with the gds, for obvious reasons. It has no problem with them, other than that. You have your pick of mounts. Wolves and goblin dogs both work fine for my little psychos. I'm gonna say no ponies. That boy just ain't right.

Bucko and Reta mount their mangy-looking, ugly-as-smurf goblin dogs, as Velag snuggles his wolf before leaping on its back.

Gutcutter likewise gets up on his riding-trained ________.

To Brinestump! they cry in unison.

Such camaraderie. Such idiocy. You have to GM it to believe it.

Fields, mountains, marsh. Hard mode.

You can handle it.

Velag says, "We ride! Then we kill! Then we eat!"

Wolf it is!

With a grin proud of his again flawless strategery, Gutcutter says

Wolf looks scaresiers. Big bads go for the dogs, leave wolf alone.

Velag says, "We ride! Then we kill! Then we eat!"

A warrior-poet. A regular Marcos.

Keep it stupid, simple.

K.I.S.S.

Let's put the X in sex!

Too funny!

"An if finds nothin tah kills we has Bucko surprise cooksing in mah magic pot."

Perception
1d20 + 7 ⇒ (10) + 7 = 17

You leave again, and nothing much happens. Near the end of the day, you take a ferry across the Yondabakari river, and head south to the low hills that lead to higher mountains in the west.

The trail goes alongside a small stream. You're thinking about a place to camp.

There is a rise to the left, with some big rocks here and there. From behind some of those rocks, you find yourselves under fire.

3 heavy rocks fly at you, one hitting Bucko for 35 damage!

You can now see 3 giants laughing stupidly, and reaching in their bags for more rocks to throw at the funny gobbies. They are uphill from you.

Reta! Fight or flight!

Init:
Reta
giants
Gutcutter
Velag
Bucko

Heavens! I hope the gobbies don't get slaughtered by those nasty giants!

THIRTYFI-- JESUS!
How do you guys do combat? I've played PbP with a strict "go in order", and with "everyone before the next baddie go in whatever order"

Yup! Lucky crit! I like to go in order. I'll PM people if they take too long, then I 'll go for them if they don't respond.

Bucko looks to jump behind the rock that just hit him to use it as full cover, while planning his counter offensive...

"Now Youses I hateses more than humanses..and bandits!"

one volcanic storm coming up.....

Velag starts Bayleff up the hill while whispering, "You biggens too stoopit to live.", judging them even as he raises his bow.

Start Judgement (swift action) -> Piercing, Destruction

Composite Longbow: 1d20 + 14 + 2 ⇒ (5) + 14 + 2 = 21 for 1d4 + 1 + 3 ⇒ (4) + 1 + 3 = 8

Not sure how much distance I can cover based on the hill slope, but just a single move and the shooting. Will drop behind Bayleff for cover if the baddies throw at me -- it's DC 15, so I make it even on a 1.

Waitin' on Reta. PM sent.

Reta narrows her eyes at the really large enemies. Hopping off her dog, she draws her blades and readies to dodge more boulders as she prepares to move in for the kill.

Fast dismount: 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (9) + 14 = 23 vs. DC 20

Dismount(free); Draw weapons(move); Total defense(standard).

AC 31; Hp's 76/76

The giants again throw more rocks, giggling to themselves like moronic children. Bucko is hit again! He takes 18 damage! This could drop him!

Init:
Reta
giants
Gutcutter
Velag
Bucko

Gutcutter is up.

Gutcutter quickly drops off his wolf

Fast dismount, DC20: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (20) + 10 = 30

and apparently does a triple backflip, landing in a handstand, getting a perfect 10 from all judges

Draws his bow while ducking behind the wolf and starts screaming out in Draconic, Dwarven, Goblin, Gnoll, and Orc, hoping the bigguns understand at least one of these

"GAH! STOPS! WE THE GOOD GOBBIES! WE THE GOOD GOBBIES!"

Looking back at his party he says

"You tell Gutcutter to look out for hoomans banditses. You say nothing about UBER BIG BANDITSES"

Hey I was hiding behind the first rock!

Current hit points -4

Hey I was hiding behind the first rock!

Current hit points -4

Or, more accurately, under the first rock ;)

Bucko Rackingclaw wrote:

Hey I was hiding behind the first rock!

Current hit points -4

Or, more accurately, under the first rock ;)

My belt of the weasel gives me the compression special ability, so semantics aside I should be fine

Giants hurt chef. Giants must die. Nobody takes Gutcutter's good food away.

Bucko's right. I forgot he went behind the rock, which gives him partial cover.

1d100 ⇒ 94

Ok, scratch the last rock. 2 gobbies dismounted and Velag hit Durr for 8. Bucko is still up, and can act to end the round.

Bucko is alive and can do whatever he wants to do. This ends the round. Reta starts the next.

Bucko quickly elects to fill the space around the two giants with black tentacles.....which should grapple them and keep them from picking up and throwing rocks....

"Holds stills big hoomids we eates yous good pieces!"

Cutses outs livers an leavened thems alives so meats stays goods to eats tomorrow!"

Black tentacles.....1d20 + 13 ⇒ (5) + 13 = 18
tentacles placed to grab giants from behind while leaving the front open to goblin slicing!!!

Reta's eyes go wide at the sight of the tentacles. "WELL NOW WHAT RETA DO?! RETA NOT WANT TO GET TAKEN BY LONG-SQUIRMY-TAKEY-THING." She then decides to get as close as she can to where she can't be grabbed by the tentacles.

Double move to where she's out of reach of the black tentacles. Not sure where that would be on the map.

AC 25; Hp's 76/76

You're fighting 3 giants. They're dumber than your mounts.

You're fighting 3 giants. They're dumber than your mounts.

In that case try to trap 2 of the giants in black tentacles area of effect...leaving one free to be ganged up on and taken out first....

OK. Durr and Derp are entangled in the tentacles. Hurr is angry and reaching for his club.

Init:
Reta
giants
Gutcutter
Velag
Bucko

Reta, kill this thing! You can approach him from the north side.

Not sure how close Velag got in his first move -- so I'm not sure if it's another bow shot, or time to leap off Bayleff and slice and dice.

Just place yourself where you like on the map. They got reach, so...

Click the square you want to be in and type your name. Then click the square you were in before and hit delete.

Sorry, Velag. I didn't answer your question. If you ride a double move, you're right in his face. That would provoke, though, and he can kill your wolf easily. I'd say dismount and fire. I'm pretty sure you can do that. Then, calmly approach while firing, then draw your weapons like a bad ass.

[ooc]What's the terrain like? Flat plains? Tall grass? When my turn comes around, basically I want to know if it's high enough to stealth in.

They're uphill from you. There's tall grass where you are by the stream, and also up the hill. You can all stealth it, if you want. If they can't see you, they might attack your mounts.

Velag, now up the hill, leaps off Bayleff and turns him south. "Go. Giants not good." On his feet, he quickly casts a spell, then wills a second copy of himself to appear as he waits for the giants to close.

Swift: Quick dismount
Free: Direct wolf south
Move: Activate Copycat and draw blades
Standard: Cast Divine Favour

Well played, goblin. Well played...

Durr and Derp are in the tentacles. They can't do diddly. Hurr is the giant who can act.

Bucko smiles as the two grappled giants yelp out in pain from being squeezed....

Durr damage
1d6 + 4 ⇒ (5) + 4 = 9

Derp damage
1d6 + 4 ⇒ (1) + 4 = 5

*edit
Bucko is out of range of the hexes (I think??) instead he targets Hurr with the Ear peircing scream (that only he can hear)
damage 4d6 ⇒ (2, 1, 6, 6) = 15
Fort save DC 17 to half damage and prevent being dazed.

"Tonight we diners like gobby kinges!.....I be makin tender vittles o the other two for the pot right nows!"

Just fyi, I moved Reta the 80' I went last round.

OK. Hurr gets an AoO. club: 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (11) + 14 = 25 damg: 2d8 + 10 ⇒ (7, 8) + 10 = 25

But only one. Gutcutter can close in.

Gutcutter comes out from behind his wolf and screams

"BURN UBER BANDITSES! BUUUUUURRRNN!

Looking to Bucko,

"Gutcutter help cook!"

Comp Shortbow w/ Slow Burn Arrow: 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (18) + 13 = 31
Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4

Slow burn adds 1d6 fire on my next turn