Goblins III: The Farce Awakens! (Inactive)

Game Master Dave Young 992

Oops, sorry. Giants' turn.

Hurr angrily swings at the one gobbie near him.

Duh... I'm a hit you, stoopid goblun!

Club: 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (15) + 14 = 29 club: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (20) + 9 = 29 confirm crit: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (15) + 9 = 24

dmg: 6d8 + 30 ⇒ (2, 3, 7, 6, 6, 4) + 30 = 58 Ouch! Is your AC at 24 right now?

Oops. My bad. It's actually 25. I forgot to change it under "stats". It was a 24 before I snagged that ring though.

So what would the damage be now exactly?

dmg: 4d6 + 20 ⇒ (5, 3, 2, 1) + 20 = 31 Crit doesn't confirm, then. There, not so bad.

You actually rolled d6's instead of d8's on the previous damage roll.

Whoops. Saw Reta called and then Velag / Bucko go, thought I missed the giants going. Not that it changes my turn, couldn't make it to them anyways.

I'm the 4th giant, Herpy Derp.

correct dmg: 4d8 + 20 ⇒ (8, 1, 5, 8) + 20 = 42

Init:
Reta
giants
Gutcutter
Velag
Bucko

Velag's about to break bad. Stand back!

Sadly, can't full attack as I need to step in.

Velag, both of them, rush forward to help Reta, swinging wide to avoid Durr's reach as he does. "Thanks, extra-longshank. Velag like healing Reta. But me likes hurting you even moreses."

Frosty Shortsword: 1d20 + 15 + 2 + 2 ⇒ (15) + 15 + 2 + 2 = 34 for 1d4 + 3 + 2 + 3 ⇒ (3) + 3 + 2 + 3 = 11 Plus cold: 1d6 ⇒ 5

Velag takes a bite out of Hurr's hit points, and is poised to do it some more.

The grappled giants can attempt to break out, next turn. Bucko can make that highly unlikely.

Waitin' on Bucko.

That's not true, that giant with a club got ear peircing screamed last round

This round Bucko uses misfortune on the free giant.

And the black tentacles keep on holding tightly and not letting go....

Durr damage
1d6 + 4 ⇒ (5) + 4 = 9
Derp damage
1d6 + 4 ⇒ (6) + 4 = 10

OK, so back to Rita.
Round 3
Init:
Reta
giants
Gutcutter
Velag
Bucko

Reta glares at the giant after getting completely pummeled by him and moves in and attacks with all the fury she can muster.

5' step

Pirhana Strike(Full attack)
Attack #1: Main hand +1 Adm. Dogslicer: 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (13) + 13 = 26
Damage: 1d4 + 14 ⇒ (4) + 14 = 18

Attack #1: Off-hand +1 Dogslicer: 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (3) + 13 = 16
Damage: 1d4 + 11 ⇒ (1) + 11 = 12

Attack #2: Main hand +1 Adm. Dogslicer: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (9) + 8 = 17
Damage: 1d4 + 14 ⇒ (2) + 14 = 16

Attack #2: Off-hand +1 Dogslicer: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (5) + 8 = 13
Damage: 1d4 + 11 ⇒ (1) + 11 = 12

AC 25; Hp's 9/76

Where are the tentacles? Don't want to walk into them come my turn.

Where are the tentacles? Don't want to walk into them come my turn.

You won't. It's obvious. They're limiting Durr and Derp. You'd have to walk into their space to be affected by the spell. Do your thing.

Unless I'm mistaken, you get a move and a single attack. The giant gets an AoO, but has to roll twice, and take the lowest.

Flank. Add sneak. Maybe.

Will have to double move for a next-turn sneak, but yup that's the plan. After Hurr swings, I'm starting up the Gutcutter Pinball Machine (Roll With It has to be the most goblin-y feat I've seen in Pathfinder lol)

Something I totally forgot, you can roll an acrobatics check to avoid the AoO.

Yes. Don't forget! lol

Yup, I just found out about that a month or so ago, I'm gonna be double moving between Hurr's ugly legs, even took a feat to lower the DC to avoid movement penalties. Just waiting for Hurr to smash one of you guys... I almost kind of hope I miss the DC so he can take an AoO and let me use Roll With It :)

Reta hurrts Hurr, but the giant is still up. It's a pile of hp with an insane natural armor bonus.

Hurr is hexed, too, but still a serious threat.

Reta needs some serious healing.

Hurr tries to finish off Reta.

atk: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (8) + 12 = 20

atk: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (19) + 12 = 31

Miss.

atk: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (16) + 7 = 23

atk: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (10) + 7 = 17

Miss. She's got like 9 hp. Reta's still in deep.

The hex saved her. Whew! Scary!

The other giants struggle to escape. They don't.

Gutcutter rushes towards the giant, trying to slide between his legs to place himself at an advantage on the other side.

Acro to avoid AoO, stops at E9 if failed, DC Hurr CMD+10: 1d20 + 17 ⇒ (12) + 17 = 29

Ain't it, tho?

Hurr wants to finish Reta.

Round 3
Init:
Reta
giants
Gutcutter
Velag
Bucko

Velag is up.

Hurr swings at Gutcutter.

atk: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (2) + 12 = 14

atk: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (7) + 12 = 19

Gutcutter easily avoids his clumsy swipe, and sticks him for some decent damage, but the big dummy is still standing, too stupid to run.

Velag's turn.

bump

Velag cackles, "Now come fun part," and wills some of his glee and hatred into the sword in his left hand. Swift -> Bane (Humanoid [Giant]) He looks up and says, "Step 'round, Reta, help Velag kill better." Flanking gets precise strike and +4 to hit.

Left Hand: 1d20 + 13 + 2 + 2 + 2 ⇒ (13) + 13 + 2 + 2 + 2 = 32 for 1d4 + 3 + 2 + 3 + 2 + 2d6 ⇒ (1) + 3 + 2 + 3 + 2 + (5, 4) = 20 And Cold: 1d6 ⇒ 1

Right Hand: 1d20 + 13 + 2 + 2 ⇒ (17) + 13 + 2 + 2 = 34 for 1d4 + 2 + 2 + 3 ⇒ (2) + 2 + 2 + 3 = 9

Left Hand (Iterative): 1d20 + 8 + 2 + 2 + 2 ⇒ (11) + 8 + 2 + 2 + 2 = 25 for 1d4 + 3 + 2 + 3 + 2 + 2d6 ⇒ (3) + 3 + 2 + 3 + 2 + (5, 5) = 23 And Cold: 1d6 ⇒ 2

So, that's 52 weapon damage, counting the bane, and 3 cold damage

Bucko cackles wildly to keep the free giant under a misfortune hex..assuming he is still alive...

And the black tentacles keep on holding tightly and not letting go....

Durr damage
1d6 + 4 ⇒ (5) + 4 = 9
Derp damage
1d6 + 4 ⇒ (2) + 4 = 6

Hurr dies at Velag's first blow.

Bucko can do something else, if he likes.

Targets a captured giant with misfortune...

Durp for instance....

We're back!

Check 1-2, check 1-2...

Whoo! With Hurr dead and Bucko's hex, I believe that puts us at the top of the order with Rita, leaving Durr and Derp remaining.

"We be goblins, we make pots pies from giantses kidneys and eyes!"

Black tentacles

Derr damage
1d6 + 4 ⇒ (4) + 4 = 8

Durp damage
1d6 + 4 ⇒ (3) + 4 = 7

"We eats all the meats lights an darks we eats thighs we eats hearts!"

"Shoots thems whiles theys stucks!!!"

Cackles to extend the misfortune of Durp

Back is good.

Velag whistles and bounces from one foot to the next, ready to spring forward to chop up another biggun... as soon as it's his turn.

Reta remains just outside of the tentacles, watching the giants suffer round after round with glee.

Delay

"Stoopid bigguns. Can't even move."

"Shootses thems with arrows!"

With all 4 gobbies shooting, the giants will die a slow, screaming, painful death before the spell wears off, so auto-win for the Licktoads. They might get out of the tentacles, but whatevs.

Well, that was easy... Do what you want.

"Healy dirts for everyones!

@GC
2d8 + 8 ⇒ (7, 2) + 8 = 17
@RB
2d8 + 8 ⇒ (2, 1) + 8 = 11

@BR2d8 + 8 ⇒ (5, 7) + 8 = 20

@CG2d8 + 8 ⇒ (2, 3) + 8 = 13

"Now we eats, giants besters than horse!"

"Everything betters than horse."

Yelling for his wolf,

"HEY! MISTER FURRY FOUR LEGS! GET OVER HERE!"

There is plenty of fresh kill. You have time to carve out the tastiest bits, and do what you will.

Velag digs into a giant and emerges with a heart as big as his head, shouting gleefully, "Lookit! This almost as good as cowmans!"

He drives one of his blades into his prize, then whispers a prayer to the Grey Man, causing the blade to burst into flames, cooking the heart from the inside out.

As he starts to sniff the tasty cooking meat, he begins to cackle, "This going to be tasty!", then pauses, a more serious look on his face. "We not going to go back to warn longshanks about bad giantses, right? We never get home if we keep going back... also, they run out of bars if we have burn one down every time we there."

The flames of his blade wink out, and he lifts the heart and takes a big bite, then offers it to Reta, "Want bite? It not as good as cowman, but still tasty." He pauses, "Need more good healie-touches? Velag fix all better."

"Should be more gobbies here to eats. We should find other giants and tells them wes gonna kills them all's."

"Wees needs to finds tha best parties, livers!"

Bucko starts with good intentions but quickly decides to make a cauldron of gravy, with lots of salt and pepper, to which he adds giant brains....

"Breakfasts!"

Dipping the tip of an arrow into the brain stew and licking it for a taste,

"Mmm, headthinks is the best parts! Velag, what is cowman? You sees all the weird things when Gutcutter not here. First flyin' lady, now cowman? Yous seein' things."

Bucko sets a fire and cuts some sticks, attaching the giants balls to the sticks he begins roasting balls....

"Giants has any goodies Velags?"

They have nothing you'd want.

I disagree! Braaaaaiiiiiins

"Stoopid giants throws bigggs rocks, Bucko needs plans for makes stoopid giants rocks misses."

Slurps his gravy and brains....

Velag answers Gutcutter, "They about this big, but made of cow. We eat them on ship-thing. Them tasty. Make good steaks. Should try find more of themses."

He then looks at Bucko and says, "You less fun to heal, but could use spell, if need it."

"Sure I not feels very goods, stoopids giant rock landeds on mes."

Bucko whips up a web shelter to spend the night in and rest.....

"We all eatses and restses and feels betters tomorrows."