He pulls the cigarette from his ear and delights it and begins to inhale and then exhale. " Wait why dont you have beer and food on your ship? I mean dont you do taco Tuesdays? Also Tuesday you cant have tacos with out margheritas. Which is fun to fly while drinking a couple" he says chuckling his cigarette bouncing in his mouth.
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"Wait, they sent us a survivalist AFTER our trek through the stupid jungle!?" DR34-M12 yelled, her circuits pulsing in anger as she furiously starts coding on her datapad. "I'm going to send Chiskisk such an annoying virus."
"Now if you excuse me, I am gonna see if there is any good beer and food to bring on the ship for later"Seeing Hi-C and thinking talking to Justin about Rover while completely ignoring Rover's presence is the thing to do, Handsome says, "If he's going to bring beer and food onto the ship, then I like him too!!! Our new quartermaster!!!"
"It would be nice to have someone cook food for us."
" Dont blame him, I was getting a bauble thing with another group, ran into Aeon Guards, hounded us a few dozen times before the ship blew. Got the bauble back safe. After I crashed on a moon and had to hotwire some salvage ship to get back to the rendezvous. The rest of the group didnt make it." he says looking at DR3Ms.
" Well hello" he says trying to fix his rakish hair." What was your name again?" he then pauses." You guys got anyone who cooks?If not I know a guy who can get you a chef bot for like practically nothing if you dont ask were it came from"
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" Hey atleast I am here now, and well you didnt die so...that's something" he says looking to Justin. He stares at the ysoki and pulls the cigarette out.He eyes Justin up and down and shakes his head, before putting the cigarette back into his mouth and puffing away.
"Gotcha so I am gonna have to do some reading, haven't had to yet do to somebody being able to cook in all the groups I have been in!" he says still letting the smoke rise from his cigarette as he looks over at DR34M with a rude smile and then back to the others.
"Also is it true that Gobbo is the captain? Bold move having a Goblin as a Captain, might be why you all are still alive?" he says bringing his hand to his chin rubbing it.
A few hours after you all arrive and meet Rover you all receive a transmission from Chiskisk.
"well I was just debriefed on your success by Muhali, I can't wait to hear your version!" the say excitedly through the transmission,"In light of your recent discovery of the Cult and the potential threat to the pact worlds, and possibly the galaxy, the Society has decided to allocate resources to upgrade your ship. If you can make quick stop at Absalom station we've arranged for a 24 hour overhaul to your specifications to better combat the threat. We look forward to seeing you soon!" they say as the transmission cuts out.
"Alright Absalom Station! Haven't been there in like three years!" He says excitedly as he finishes his beer and tosses the bottle in a bin.
"A cult eh? Cool need any deciphering of languages good at that too. I have been around the Pact and Rim, even the Veskarium! Wait did you say you had beer or didn't have beer cause we need beer? and maybe a Chef bot!" he says from the back resting on a panel as he was some sort of panel aloof yet excited.
"No need to ask the question 'Do we need beer?' because we ALWAYS need beer and can NEVER have too much beer. In fact no need to ever ask if we need anything that is consumable, mind-altering, or leaves one inebriated because the answer will always be 'YES, we need it!!'"
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"What about nonconsumable mind-alteration? Because I've got some ideas for some implants that could cut out the middle man for organic inebriation." The Android asked a little too excitedly.
day later you are docked in absalom station at one of the societies private docks. After going over your specifications the mechanics are confident they can upgrade the maiden for you and you find yourselves with about 20 hours of free time on Absalom station. What do you do?
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DR34-M12 had amassed a sizable amount of combat data in her time as a Starfinder. Given the extensive damage to her chassis during the Jungle trek, the android felt it was a good time to put that data to use. Beneath her fresh layer of synthflesh laid additional dermalplating, stronger and more dexterous synthmuscle courtesy of the update to her nanites' systems, and she'd overclocked her central processor with minimal stress increase. As the ship docked and the crew boarded the station, the android laughed as she danced and twirled, testing out her new body with the new dance routines she'd programmed. The shifting LEDs of her dancing outfit leaving light trails behind her. "Finally! Solid synthetic ground beneath our feet. We should go out and celebrate! We've earned food, drink, and dancing! Also I want to buy a better rifle."
"Sounds great, Sparkle" He says smiling as he lights another cigarette and looks about the station."Gotta turn in my datapad notes to Chiskisk, first then crash at the Starfinder lodge til they kick me out and I have to find somewhere else to rest my head, maybe with Al'ritha The Verthani woman with the biotech implants, best bed, nice and soft bed. Ooo or Xilthessandri Co'Lenthu, Drow Mystic and quite infatuated with me, as was her sister or was she an acolyte! Anywho Yeah a dance sounds good and maybe some food, I could eat!"
Rover steps on the platform looking about the station with apathy, he was happy to be back but at the same time preferred the field and its excitement!
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Using his savings and share of the cash, Handsome goes and buys a ysoki refractor suit. Having done that, he decides it's time re-connect with his people and do what he does best...talk!
Handsome heads down to the lower depths of Absalom where locates a goblin tribe that is scrounging and scraping by. He then spins a story (borrowing and twisting liberally from his adventures) of an ancient degenerate goblin civilization who discovered a perfect means of charting stars. This civilization grew to be so advanced that the supreme grand master degenerate developed the ability to suck the energy out of the stars themselves and harnessed this power to destroy all dogs and horses on an entire planet with a single exhale! However, another ancient race feared this supreme goblin civilization and a great war was fought! The goblin civilization was left in shambles, scattered across space and surviving as tribes of scavengers. But the other race was utterly destroyed in the process, it's existence and identification lost in the mists of time!
"I'm now on a mission to learn more about our once proud civilization and the supreme grand master degenerate. Perhaps some day, through my efforts, the secrets I've learned will once again elevate you and all goblin tribes!!"
"...all for the low, low donation of 100 creds to support my expeditions... whaddaya say???"
Handsome spends the day finding all the goblin tribes he can on Absalom, washes, rinses and repeats!!!
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"We should go out and celebrate! We've earned food, drink, and dancing! Also I want to buy a better rifle."
"You grab your rifle, I'll meet you up in the club."
Hi-C takes an express elevator deeper below the main station areas to where the Verthani sell augmentations on the cheap. Later...
...after the club's been poppin' for a few hours the familiar outline of Hi-C makes his way through the crowd towards the dancing DR34-M12. But this time, it's an outline accentuated by trails of pinpoint purple and yellow subdermal lights!
He approaches the android with an arm outstretched, the flickering dots of light extending all the way down to his fingertips. "Wanna dance?"
"You know, before I met you I would never have thought I'd be comfortable with little machines crawlin' around in my skin, but you seem to do alright. So I found somethin' that'll help in case we ever encounter another terrible jungle. Whaddya think?"
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DR34-M12 took Hi-C's outstretched arm with a laugh and brought him in to the movement of the dance floor. Delighted and surprised by both his augmentations and movements.
"Synthetic is a good look on you!" She loudly said over the music. "You'll love having nanites! It's like having millions of friends looking out for you." The Android's circuits pulsated brightly in happiness. Back home she'd never influenced anyone, at least not in a positive way. And no one influenced her to have fun like her crew. The Anacites and other androids mostly wanted her to stop being her. For the first time she processed that she fit in, that she belonged. "I'm really happy we became a crew! It's been the adventure I always dreamed of!...But let's try to avoid any more jungles."
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Rover began his simple debrief giving them handwritten notes and personal data files to the Starfinders before he went shopping for a few things. He returns with near clothes, a smaller pocket mounted looking datapad with a smiling face on it, a fresh clean shave.
"Oh its 4 Arms and Sparkles!" he says coming over clicking his heels to go form his regular clothes to his trademark coat with a crimson red satin button down with a high collar, his pants becoming bell-bottom jeans of a deep almost black violet with fingerless leather gloves and platform deep violet with matching soles.
"Hey guys meet Iggy Pop my best friend and loyal companion/computer a guy could ask for!" he says pulling Iggy form his special spot on the jacket to smile.
"Pleased to make your acquaintance, fellow Starfinders! I am Iggy, 'Rovers' Artifical Personal Assitant and Informant. I am pleased to meet his newest friends and associates' The artificial persona says in an ancient Chelaxian accent with hints of robotic accent mixed in.
Once finished he put the palm-sized computer back onto his jacket and generally looked happy."Been a minute and having to buy him back from Big S was not fun, I regret dating the Vesk, hips still hurt when it rains"
Tonight is a weekend so shots are actually buy one get one free! only 2 creds for 4 shots!
"Don't get me wrong Ssereska is gorgeous with just a hint of purple on her eye crests and knew every Wailing Fungus songs Lyrics!! Just...the human body can only take so much of her..well um love" he says seeing the shots and smiling.
"4 atomic Mushrooms Please.." He says before he could finish Iggy speaks.
'Rover that is ill-advised you already drank three-fifths Veskarium Vodka and one half Castrovilian Green Curasou' The voice says as Rover slumps and shakes his head.
"Yes Mother" he says switching the language from Common to Azlanti.
"Say my dear..um..Dreamz care for a dance!" he says with a wink as he bows holding out his hand.
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Dreamz took the hello shots and downed it, setting her sensors alight. "Alcohol suspended in fruit powder and bone meal? Organics come up with the craziest things." Downing the second one as well The android took Rovers hand and dragged him to the dance floor. "Yeah let's keep this party going!"
Getting pulled along he begins to fall into the class steps he saw in a variety of cultural videos.
"I am a bit rusty, been out in the Vast too long" he says with a sly lie hoping the android buys it.
The night goes on with many a laugh and many more a drink until the sun rises and the revelers return to their docked ship, now upgrade to handle much more deadly threats.
WELCOME TO BOOK 3!!!
As the crew piles onto the ship and begins warming up the engine and typing to coordinates in the Diaspora, you get a last minute communication from Chiskisk, The shirred Host's signature refined enthusiasm transforms into anxiety and near panic,"I'm so glad you are following up on this cults activities! The prospect of some kind of massive star weapon like what I've been reading in the reports is too dangerous to ignore." they go on,"Sure cultist prophecies can rarely be taken at face value, but your jungle trek on Castrovel seems to at least prove that there is some validity to it. Before you take off I wanted to let you know that the society is currently petition outside benefactors for assistance in this endeavor and, if you do determine the cult to be a legitimate threat to the pact worlds we will be sure to see you correctly outfitted and compensated for your trouble. Good luck Starfinder's." the message ends moments before the drift engines are fully fired up.
days later the Ship jolts out of the drift into a bleak sight on the view screen: irregular chunks of rock and ice and occasional ominous fields of green and blue floating through an empty void, with a vast field of stars for a backdrop.
Justin has A drink and falls asleep into his pile of Qabarat university books.
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Taking a drink outta his recently opened beer, he coughs then speaks."Ship..er on the sensors"
He then drinks a bit more pointing at the screen. Hoping to get the others to pay attention as well.
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"Not replacing you just having a backup you know in case... "
"We should probably say hello. I mean not EVERY ship is going to start shooting us right? I mean someone other than the goblin should say hello. "
Between studying for qabarat, tinkering with the engines, and playing call of duty Vesk war..erm.. training on his rifle you barely see Justin the entire trip. He does randomly prestidigitate the new human though.
The other ship is lurking around behind a large asteroid, The ships AI identifies their movement pattern as stealth based with a 82% of attack probability.
Justin headplants against a transparent aluminum tube zapping with light. The arcs of electricity reach out for him before passing on their way down the floor.
"Thank you Sunny "
Dreamz gave Egg a lung crushing hug as the crew said goodbye. "You better keep in touch. Also you better come visit, because I'm not going back to that stupid jungle planet."
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"Combat already? I'm glad I had background piloting simulations running while we were in the stupid jungle." Dreamz said as she lurched the ship in to evasive maneuvers.
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Apparently unable to convince any goblin tribes of Absalom to donate to his worthy cause, Handsome will at least attempt to trade his amazing(-ly false) stories in exchange for free drinks. After boozing it up and yelling "Woo-Hoo! Party!" all day long with various goblins, Handsome joins up with the rest of the Starfinder crew at the docks, just as drunk as everyone else.
After three days on the ship of listening to Handsome drunkenly scream "Woo-Hoo! Party!" Hi-C hides the liquor in the last place Goblins check: the section of the fridge reserved for vegetables.
"Hair of the GOB!!!" declares Handsome as enters the ship and dives straight into the ship's supply of liquor. "Woo-Hoo! Party!" screams Handsome over the next three days while he attempts to maintain a level of intoxication such that he never suffers a hungover. That is until the third day when all of the ship's booze mysteriously disappears.
Handsome searches EVERY POSSIBLE LOCATION! The bridge's glove compartment. The pipes under the sink. The ship's exhaust ports (from the outside). The trash compactor. The sewage processing unit. The ship's reactor (after donning an anti-radiation suit, that is). Each one of Hi-C's hands. In between the pages of Justin's brand new university books (a few pages of which Handsome rips out to blow his nose). Down the barrel of Dreamz's new laser rifle. All throughout Rover's quarters because it's most likely the new guy's fault, right?
Absolutely mystified and stumped, Handsome comes to the only logical conclusion possible... He stumbles onto the bridge, head pounding with a massive headache and says, "Guys, I <hic!> drank every last <hic!> drop of alcohol on the ship! <hic!>"
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Handsome hits a button, opening a channel on all hailing frequencies and speaks in a threatening voice, "Yaaarrr!!! This be the fearsome Pirate Gob!!! Ye may 'ave 'eard o' me an' me crew! If ye jettison ye cargo now n' turn 'round now, we be amenable ta sparin' ye lives, y'hear??? Else we be sendin' ye to the land o da dead, y'hear???"
"All power to the engines...."
'Cause y'all are still babies
Grumble grumbles..."The facial recognition on Fitches nannybot gets hacked ONE Time... "
"Oh are we pirating now? Okay um, let me see what these scanners can do?" he says as he puts the beer on the little lip over the screen and begins to fervently work the keys and screens.
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"It would be nice to have someone cook food for us."
Justin looks over the plate of fried ksarik, mountain eel en flambe, and candied spider monkey apple
"Really? "
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Handsome's hail is answered by a woman's voice,"Thats a good one kid, no crew would ever follow a goblin. Now brace for a warning shot ye yellow blaggards and prepare for a boarding'!!!" the voice is from a gruff female human by the sounds of it.
SPACE COMBAT BEGIN!
Engineering phase
Justin diverts energy to engines.
Piloting Phase
DR34-M12 outmaneuvers the pirates!
and the pirates take an evasive intercept course towards the maiden as Rover scans them and discovers that there are 4 life forms on board, and this is a medium explorer with 10 speed and good maneuverability. It's AC and TL are both 15 and is currently at 75/75 HP and each quadrant has 15 SP and its Core PCU value is 150. Lastly he discovered its forward arc has a light particle beam.
"Only a good crew would follow a goblin. Now prepare for an non-warning shot!" Dreamz shouted over the comms as she maneuvered the maiden behind the enemy ship.
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"Isn't she familiar with the Dilbert Principle of management? I mean thats how she got to be captain isn't it? "