GM Friendly Sauce’s Dead Suns

Game Master friendly sauce

"Egg, target the enemy and make sure ship happens to them, not us!" says Handsome with a toothy smirk.

Diplomacy encourage DC15: 1d20 + 9 + 1d6 ⇒ (9) + 9 + (3) = 21

Egg confirms using his hands to work the sensor array

Computers: 1d20 + 11 + 2 ⇒ (10) + 11 + 2 = 23

Targetting the enemy engines again

ROUND 8:

ENGINEERING PHASE:

Justin balances out the sheilds after that last assault.

While it appears the damage to the Caircarver's power core is contained.

HELM PHASE:
The Cairncarver Flys by, firing its torpedo as it does; DR34-M12 flys by, but is so wrapped up in her conversation with Hi-C, and she forgets to take any evasive action, drawing an attack from the Cairncarvers Light Particle beam as well. Thankfully she positions the Maiden out of danger for a few seconds.

GUNNERY PHASE:

Hi-C and DR34-M12 are a model example for why vid file talk is best left to out of a fight with undead star fighters. He swivels the turret and fires wide, missing the Cairncarver by several ship lengths. While the Cairncarver takes advantage of the flyby and easy attack during the attempted flyby.

AoO Light Particle Beam: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (11) + 12 = 233d6 ⇒ (4, 4, 6) = 14
Light Plasma Torpedo during Flyby: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (16) + 12 = 283d8 ⇒ (5, 7, 2) = 14

during the Flyby the Plasma torpedo hits its mark, Obliterating the recently refreshed forward shields and tearing into the hull striking the Engine with lock-on precision and as the maiden botches its flyby the Light Particle beam takes advantage of the weakened forward section and fires, obliterating the forward hull and dealing critical damage to the sensors.
Crit location: 1d100 ⇒ 30

END OF ROUND 7:

Sunrise maiden:
forward shields:0
port sheilds: 6
starboad sheilds: 13
aft sheilds: 14
hull:-40
Engines are glitching: Piloting actions take -2 until it's fixed
Sensors are glitching

Cairncarver:
forward shields: 8
port sheilds: 6
starboad sheilds: 6
aft sheilds: 10
hull:-25

ROUND 8:

DR34-M12: 1d20 + 12 + 1 + 1 - 2 ⇒ (5) + 12 + 1 + 1 - 2 = 17
Caircarver: 1d20 + 10 + 2 + 1 ⇒ (5) + 10 + 2 + 1 = 18

With the Engine giving her trouble, DR34-M12 is slowed up this round and must act first!

All may act

Part of the ceiling comes down on Hi-C's head as the Maiden shakes from the assault.

"Alright! Lesson learned! Bad luck to talk about bad movies!"

He refocuses on the task at hand, spinning the turret to match the spinning of the ship.

Turret: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (14) + 4 = 18
Damage: 3d6 ⇒ (5, 6, 3) = 14

Handome grab a gun yourself, Egg you want to fix those engines we need the shields up...

engineering: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (13) + 11 = 24 divert power to forward shields

Justin takes that part of the ceiling and drags it back into engineering , hopping up and down on it to slam it over a gas vent.

Egg goes fix the engines.

Engineering: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (20) + 10 = 30

In our of need the dice gods smileth

Oops, miscommunication there. What I meant to do was encourage Egg's firing off a weapon at the enemy, not using the science officer target action. Heh, my bad.

Handsome bonks himself on the head and mutters, "Use gooder words, ya dummy goblin!"

Seeing Egg busy with the engines, Handsome takes over a gun and opens fire!

"Another hit like that and we're done for!" DR34-M12 shouted over warning alarms.

Evade Stunt, DC 14, +2 AC +2 TL. Moving straight forward for distance, keeping our aft at them.

Piloting: 1d20 + 12 + 1 - 2 ⇒ (4) + 12 + 1 - 2 = 15

ROUND 9:

ENGINEERING PHASE:
Justin Continues to scramble around, finding any source of power to reassign to the forward shields while Egg successfully seals the engines thermocoupling back into place.

The Caircarver boosts their shield layering as well.

HELM PHASE:

GUNNERY PHASE:

Hi-C and Handsome Gob both take shots at the incoming vessel, and are both able to score hits despite the evading pilot. Hi-C's trained turret penetrates the forward shields and does some hull damage, but without the shields, Handsome is able to do direct damage to their, 1d100 ⇒ 80 Engines.

Light Plasma Torpedo: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (13) + 12 = 253d8 ⇒ (4, 3, 5) = 12
Light Particle Beam: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (10) + 12 = 223d6 ⇒ (5, 6, 6) = 17

The Cairncarvers gunners focus both their shots on the Maidens forward overloading the shields and shredding through the hull! The ship jerks violently to a halt and power begins to flicker in and out before finally the consoles go black and the auxiliary lighting begins flashing the path to the escape pods! The Maiden is Disabled!

As the Cairncarver passes by to deliver a final blow to the Cockpit, Laser fire comes raining down upon it as Station security craft and Steward Fighters descend upon the Corpse fleet vessel, causing it to Retreat full speed and disappear into the drift moments later.

After a few ships begin forming a perimeter around you, you are hailed by station security. "That was some pretty good flying, you all are lucky to be alive; Its not everybody who can stand up to a Cairncarver and live, especially in a century old bucket like that. You can thank Chiskisk, they were the ones who tipped us off you might need a pickup from the rock; This is exactly why we told Nor we wouldn't keep our shuttle out here for too long." he cuts off audio for a moment before replying, "Anyways, my officers have just informed me that your life support is still fully operational so it might be a while before a tow boat can come pick you up. Any wounded aboard?"

Justin steps away from a hastily constructed and suspiciously ysoki sized torpedo tube

"Praise Abadar, our tax dollars at work. No wounded but.. sorry Hi C We were dealing with potentially infectious material and should be checked over by someone with an actual medical degree. I've got some ideas for an Akata Egg Extractor, patent pending but I can send you the file if you want to print one off... "

DR34-M12's circuits dimmed to the point of disappearing, a solemn mood overtaking the android as she slumped in her station. "I'm sorry everyone."

"Nah ya did fine. This bucket just needs more fire power."

Hi-C massages the back of his elongated cranium.

"When Ford produces that video, let's cut to the part where we're popping champagne on the station and none of this 'in-between' stuff."

"Nah ya did fine. This bucket just needs more fire power."

Hi-C massages the back of his elongated cranium.

"When Ford produces that video, let's cut to the part where we're popping champagne on the station and none of this 'in-between' stuff."

"You mean like where you get washed with the decontamination power hose in places you didn't know you had places? "

"Got it, I'll order a FULL decontamination for each and every one of you just to be sure. We'll keep a few fighters on perimeter checks in case they come back, but Corpse Fleet vessels showing up in this sector generally put everyone on high alert so getting back in this close will be nigh' impossible. Over and Out." The transmission ends. about an hour after the bulk of the calvary leaves, the ship is hailed by another ship.

"ehhh I heard you guys were looking for a tow? yes yes I can tow you back to the Station for the low price of 200 credits. you want me to hook up the cables or move on?"

"You guys got any specials this time of year?"

"Is there a discount if I hook up the cables? " he looks through the manual "There's always a mount where you're supposed to put it and 4 places where it LOOKs like you're supposed to put it... " he steps out the airlock and starts flying over, waving his flashlight towards the mount.

"The special is getting it done now instead of when station security actually find someone. Comms are going wild talking about your scuffle with that corpse fleet scum. I'm offering a tow now, or you can sit and wait for someone to set one up for you. should only take a cycle or two I'm sure."

"FIIIIIIINE. Do you take Noqual? " over the secure com "I'll give him an unhatched egg. Promise. Maybe I don't tell the decontamination team that though.... "

Not on Comms Egg looks over to Gob."Captian I believe you should maybe Barter or Discuss a better way to get us to the station with this nice people. You seem capable in the realm of diplomacy that some of the rest of us lack" Egg says noting his Uncle was the same, while he had to deceive to get them to buy his Uncle just smooth-talked his way into there pockets.

"Man these tow rig fliers make a killing. That's cuttin' directly inta my pretzel budget."

Yeah I'm fine with 209 credits coming out of the general party fund. That's what it's there for, Lol.

"These Pretzels must be amazing if you keep blowing your creds on them" He said looking at his fellow four armed companions.

"I'll give it a shot..." Handsome replies to Egg.

Handsome talks into comms saying, "You say the station is buzzing about us? Well, for a free tow, how about we record a an advertisement for you? Free of charge! Just think about it! It'll go a little something like this:

"What do you think? Do we have a deal? We'll even wear your logo around for a week. Money can't possibly buy that type of publicity!" (you're all very well aware it can...)

Diplomacy: 1d20 + 9 + 1d6 ⇒ (16) + 9 + (1) = 26

And then after that, we'll pay the man whatever his best offer is out of the party pool.

As the crew negotiates with the space tow truck, DR34-M12 will slink away to start making repairs on the ship.

Mechanics: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (3) + 10 = 13

Hahaha maybe we should get in the space towing business?

"Noqual eh??? how much you got? how bout half a bulk and the commercial and we gotta deal!" he is clearly excited about the commercial but the noqual is his priority.

Hi-C counts on his fingers.

Profession Con Artist: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (19) + 12 = 31

"Oh ho ho! You almost got us there! Half a bulk is worth 250 credits when your towing services without a commercial is 200 creds! Sneaky sneaky but I can respect that! I'd try to pull the same if I were you! One fifth bulk and it's a deal! Whaddaya say?"

Which would be 100 credits. Ultimately, I think we're okay to pay anything equal to or less than their original 200 cr offer. Soon as Friendly Sauce confirms it, I'll deduct it from our group funds. Besides, our group funds currently has a touch over 2100 creds in it, so not gonna break the bank.

Diplomacy: 1d20 + 9 + 1d6 ⇒ (9) + 9 + (1) = 19

"heheheee aight I see you aint a greenhorn captain then. Gimme them hookup points and the noqual once we arrive station side and you got yourself a tow."

assuming you accept the freighter will begin hooking up tow cables and within an hour you are docked. it appears your newfound popularity earns you priority docking from Absalom Traffic Control and temporarily waived docking fees. as you close in on the station and docking zone, you see your images have appeared on countless video screens thanks to Gevalarsk Nor’s broadcast, and you find that you have become minor local celebrities—at least while the buzz lasts.
As soon as you dock a large squad of decontamination workers rush to the landing platform and set up small pods for everyone to enter. the pods do their work, scrubbing with chemical compounds and magically enhanced scrubbers that. get. EVERYWHERE. twice. Once that is over you are able to head into the station proper.

almost immediatly a group of onlookers and reporters waylay the group asking for everything from statements, autographs, and confirmation of conspiracy theories.

"Are you single Hi-C?

"where did you learn to fly like that DR34-M12?"

"Justin is it true the rock is filled with gold and jewels?"

"Egg, did any of the crew survive?"

"Captain... Captain Hansome Gob... How does it feel to be one of the first goblin captains recognized as sane but station security?"

as well as countless offers to buy drinks in exchange for firsthand account. there is a crowd of about 20 right now fawning over you all.

Crud. You mean I've been endorsing Salty Stars this whole time and I ain't been gettin' paid for it??

"Are you single Hi-C?"

"I will be as soon as these worms clear up."

Egg blinks as he looks at the oncomers. As they talk to him he remains aloof, letting the more personable do the talking.

After a bit he says."We could use some new clothes and my friend Hi-C likes pretzels, so bring pretzels"

With the crowd going straight to his head, Handsome says, "Hello! Hello! Well hopefully random folks on this station won't open fire on me unprovoked anymore! That'd be highly appreciated, lemme tell ya! Oh and please... Just call me what all the lovely ladies call me... Handsome!!

"But more importantly, it is critical that you all know something very, very important about me..."

Handsome pauses for dramatic effect and waits till he has the attention of those nearby, then he says...

"I accept all requests for personal appearances starting at 500 credits per appearance. Now that 500 credits guarantees I appear and will shake hands for 30 minutes. Autographs are extra. Birthdays, bar mitzvahs, anniversaries, weddings, dinner parties, office functions, store grand openings, baby showers, bachelorette parties, baptisms, funerals, graduations, starship christenings, parades, court sentencings, first dates, second dates, divorces, war declarations, peace negotiations, sweet 16 parties, holiday barbecues, checking out of rehab, checking in to rehab, support group meetings, mental therapy sessions, and more... I do it all!! All events are better with a goblin attending! Interviews and speaking engagements are also possible...fee to be negotiated. Please send all your request details to handsome@gobbammit.gob. Thank you everyone!!"

Being a ysoki on a starfinder spaceship this is hardly Justins first experience with a decontamination team much less assisted bathing. He even offers to squeegie off the hazmat team in return. He's a little confused by the tent but "ahh right don't want any infected water flying off..."

When asked about the rock he gargles for a second, finds a bucket and spits out a gallon of water.

"Oh, sorry, last rinse cycle got stuck in the cheek pouch. I'm afraid any statements about the geology of the object known as "the drift rock" will have to wait for independent verification and peer review. "

DR34-M12 had an easier time with the decontamination protocols than her organic crew mates. However, she was still in a down mood, feeling that she had let them down. The android's mood instantly brightened as the crowd descended on them.

"I learned to fly from sims and vids mostly, that was actually only my second time flying." She happily poses for photos and video and answers any questions she can. Including more confidential information and the gory details of the crew's fate if anyone lets her.

Hi-C corrects Justin in front of the cameras by saying, "Death Rock. Definitely Death Rock."

Oh ya, Hi-C, the decontamination process allows you make another fort save at +4 to get rid of the worms.

The reporters record everything and it seems certain details seem to gain more interests. Hi-C's eligibility and his love of pretzels seem to get the most amount of "enjoy's" on the major social media platforms.

Over the next 12 hours Handsome's sales pitch becomes simultaneously the most watched and most parodied vid on youscreen.

Several more professional looking reporters approach Justin, "So you can admit it is a geological structure then? care to comment on the rumors that this is all one of Zoe!'s elaborate pranks?"

DR34-M12, despite her own self doubt, seems to be inundated by other pilots and hotshots, all wanting detailed breakdown of every move, "Those flybys were the stuff of legend, and when you kept your ship in their aft so they couldn't fire back? Bloody Genius!"

Once all the questions have been asked the group eventually disperses when station security begins to take interest in the crowd forming. What is your plan of action now? the Ambassador's package is still in your cargo hold.

"Shall we deliver the package, and collect the rest of our payment, fellas?"

"Well you could have your star shaman get out and push or.... "

Justin grumbles at the commercial. " I swear they CG'd that. My face did NOT look that silly during filming... "

"I know right!? Okay I've got to go, I'll let the others know." DR34-M12 closed her comm channel and turned to the others. "Ford says hi and gratz, also he wants to do interviews with all of us. Delivering the package sounds like a good idea. We'll need all the credits we can get to fix the damage to the ship."

"Maybe them miners can pay us with their rust bucket, and we can salvage it for parts instead of spending credits?"

Fortitude: 1d20 + 6 + 4 ⇒ (18) + 6 + 4 = 28

Hi-C is noticeably less itchy after decontamination.

Hi-C's screening results confirm he is now worm free and cured of the void death.

retrieving the package and getting it to the Eoxian embassy is an easy enough task, and upon your arrival Eoxian security quickly takes the large package away and out of site while you are ushered into Embassador Nor's office.

Nor is sitting at his desk as you file into his office, a sort of strange undead smile on his face,"Welcome, welcome, and congratulations of course Starfinders! Of course my vidbot recorded the events but I Would like to get your first hand account of everything that occurred. Of course this will be off the record, the recording is more than enough to make an arbitration." he adds offhandedly.

"No Justin you always look like that" he says getting some of the coffee. he helps get the cargo loaded and to the embassy.he is happy his defiance got him no traction and thus made him just some tagalong instead of a more talkative member.

"Also possibly a retrofit to the robot after we get the memory core downloaded for to the Starfinder servers for others to study. I mean with a well-programmed robot we could have him perform minor tasks such as simple maintenance as well as keeping a ship on a set orbit should we need to get off it. Just a thought"

At the Embassy he sips on another coffee. he wanted this mission to be over with as he wants free time to check out the robot and ship and see what can be done.

Oh, almost forgot. I knocked 100 off the party credit pool for the towing costs.

"Well, you see, Mr. Nor, the crew got eaten by these demon dogs!! They just invaded the ship outta nowhere and ate everyone up! Then these goblins came on board to steal stuff but then they got eaten too!!

"And THAT is the whole story!!"

Handsome turns to look at his teammates, "Right fellas??"

Hi-C gives three thumbs up, while his other hand rubs his thumb and forefingers together in a "Money?" sort of motion.

"Yeah! Dogs are bad!" DR34-M12 excitedly agreed with Handsome. "Also, what is the corpse fleet's interest in your package?

"Since the primary value of the drift rock is historical, archeological and technological rather than mineral, it obviously falls well outside the contract set up by astral extractions and thus is the property of the hardscrabble collective. I would NORMALLY suggest the two work together as the hardscrabble doesn't have the resources to monetize such an important find, but killing your employees tends to sour working relationships beyond any amount of money. "

Egg nods as he sips coffee."Those dogs are horrible and have tentacles" he says before he looks to the Ambassador.

"With your package secure I think giving the rock to Hardscrabble as their contract is a general contract and AE is more for Mineral deposits"

Nor listens to each of you in turn give you piece, nodding along. "Well as for the "demon dogs" they are simply akata. Not uncommon to be found hibernating on astroids to be honest." he then looks over to Hi-C smirking,"Of course the government of Eox is most pleased that you were not permanently harmed, and that you have been cured of whatever it was that was ailing you.", noting Hi-Cs rather forward request for payment, and DR34-M12's rather pointed question, " which brings us to your payment. As promised, 500 credits will be transferred to each of you accounts before you leave the premises, I assure you. As for the embassies interests? Well my dear I believe the credits were for delivery, not questions; To put it lightly, The Embassy of another planet does not have to disclose the contents of any package delivered, provided we declare its contents are of no immediate danger to the station. which they aren't." he says with an air of finality that only comes from several lifetimes of commanding people around. his face quickly changes to a smile however,"Now I also understand that you have recently come into the ownership of a starship? Well just like everyone else I saw the battle, While im glad you didn't surrender the package, it was foolish to go up against a superior vessel. Neverless because the corpse fleet is so oft, and mistakenly, associated with our great planet, The government of Eox has agreed to pay for the damages to you ship in full, as a show of friendship and good faith."

"As for the arbitration, The footage will be more than enough evidence, however the wheels of justice churn slowly and it will likely be several weeks before any decision will be made. I'll ask that you refrain from publicly speculating on its results." he adds to Justin and Egg.

Handsome perks up at the mention of payment. "So ship repairs are covered and another 500 creds to us upon leaving this building? Consider me gone!"

Handsome hops off his chair, runs to the conference room door and in his excitement, fumbles with the doorknob, failing to open the door on his first try. He turns around, flashes an embarrassed, sheepish grin, then opens the door into the hallway and rushes out.

The wrong way.

A second later, through the doorway you see Handsome running by again in the correct direction this time.

Until you hear a crash of glass breaking!

"Sorry! No worries! That vase wasn't really pre-gap like the plaque says! I have a cousin who sells these for thousands of credits each - they're fake!"

You hear some more hurried footsteps. *thump* *thump* *thump* Then it comes to a stop.

"Gobbammit! Anyone remember which way at the end of the hall?!?! All the exit signs are in Eoxian!"

"Surrending the package really wasn't on the menu " mostly because they didn't put it there but hey....

"That's great! Thank you!"DR34-M12 said happily, missing that she had broached a sensitive subject. "If you need anything else delivered, let us know. The android called back as she followed Handsome. "Guys, we really need a name. All the best Starfinder groups have them: The Revenants, Kuhl'Ess, Wanderers of the Galaxy, The Metal Slugs, Solar Wind, Xiouxsie and the Bansh33s, Unexpected Sparkle Boyz, The Golden Hand, Space Ace and the Crew, The Death Screamers, Shii'Ra y Prionnsa Cumhachd..." The android continues to list names until someone stops her.