Pix flies back to lulu and sits on her shoulder.
i guessthe contract sounds legit, but can we add a hat? I really like a hat, a purple hat with a point on top, butnot a sharp point.
"We'll see what we can do." The manager says with a grin that would have been right at home on a shark's face. She gathers up the papers and looks them over for a minute before laying them down and looking at the party.
"Great! Everything is in order, so let's get started!" She beams as she hits a big, shiny, red button that wasn't there a second ago.
You find yourself in a luxuriously appointed lobby with a set of double-doors set in the center of the long walls and two single doors set in each of the short walls, and no sign of the others. Shortly after you arrive, a trio of people walk out the double-doors behind you.
F F
M M
M M
M F
F F
A woman as wide as she is tall dwarfs the two smaller girls that follow behind her. The girls wear black suits with black shirts, black shoes, and red ties and have gray eyes and short, feathery white hair. Despite their best efforts, it's obvious that their clothes are too big for them. The woman, however is wearing a skin-tight black leather dress that comes half-way down her enormous thighs, black thigh-high leather boots with actual stiletto heels (seriously, the heel is a six-inch long stiletto blade,) fishnets, and a red-cape. She has short, black hair done up in a bun and chocolate-colored eyes. She holds a black cigarette holder in one hand and puffs on the foul-smelling cigarette before deigning to speak to Lulu.
"Welcome, you are now in the presence of the most beautiful creature in existence. I am Mathilda Chasity, although some that have seen me call me Aphordite. Now, let's get down to business. Before I get to work on you, I need to know if one so small as yourself as any talents. So, show me what you can do."
During her speech, you can see the two girls rolling their eyes behind their boss.
A man that stands little taller than a dwarf, with ruddy skin, gray eyes, and bark brown hair that falls to his waist in a ponytail, is followed by two other men with olive skin, slicked back, black hair, and dark shades over their eyes. The man wears a white leisure suit with a blue shirt that's undone clear to his sternum and shows off the gold chain and curly hair on his muscular chest. His assistants wear black leather jackets, blue jeans, white t-shirts, and black leather boots.
They come to a stop and the man begins doing jumping-jacks.
"Hiya, the name's Theodore Apollocus. These two are Wilson and Spalding. Aaaaand, don't tell me, you're one of those guys that likes to hit stuff really, really, hard!" he says without missing a beat, staying in perfect rhythm the whole time.
"Oh yeah, Boss, he definitely does!" One of the assistants says.
"Say, Boss, do you think that he uses a greataxe or a greatclub?" the other asks.
A tall, dark-skinned man with a shaved head is followed by two deeply tanned men with white hair and green eyes. The man with skin as black as midnight wears black slacks, a pink polo, and cheap, black flip-flops. The man's eyes are covered by a dark pair of silver-framed aviator sunglasses. The other two wear black polos with white slacks and shoes. They come to a stop ten feet away and wait silently.
A short, wiry man with black hair, hazel eyes, and skin the color of brown sugar walks into the lobby with a margarita in hand and two, severely dressed women in tow. The man wears cargo shorts, no shoes, and a Hawaiian floral print shirt that never seems to be the same color, or even the same pattern, whenever you pay attention to it. The women are even shorter than the man, with brown hair done up in a braid that falls to their hips. They have fair skin that looks like it would burn in three seconds flat and misty-blue eyes.They wear gray pencil skirt suits and flats, black tights, and a pastel colored blouse, one mint-green, the other lavender.
"The name's Alder Fullman, and this is Allyson," he says as he gestures to the young woman in the lavender blouse, "and this is Zelda," he points to the one in the mint-green blouse, "now that's out of the way, let's party!"
"Um, sir," Allyson interrupts, "We can't have a party just yet. We need to get ready for the show."
"Right you are, my dear. Well then, what kind of hero do you see yourself as, boy?"
A tall, curvaceous woman with caramel skin, long curly hair, and agate-hard brown eyes is followed by two other women that look like they could be her sisters. All three of them wear a white, flowing blouse, a blue, form-fitting skirt that goes from their waists to their ankles and has a split clear to the hip, and black pumps.
"My, my. How interesting. A drow that actually tries to cover up? Well, we'll have to see what you are hiding and see what we can do to flaunt it," the woman purrs as her assistants chuckle.
"I am Lavinica Lalatius. These two are Lillian and Lucrecia. They are my assistants. Now, who are you, and what kinds of delightful little tricks do you have? I can't wait to get started."
Finding himself in the lobby, Vivian instinctively shifts forms, into his disguise of a handsome middle-aged man with graying hair. Just as he's combing out his bristly mustache with his fingers, the trio enters behind him, to his surprise. He beams at them, stepping forward with a bow to kiss the hands of the two ladies in turn.
"A pleasure to meet you all," he grins, with a wink at Zelda, "and I am Vivian Vitimus, mighty hero and fierce raven-feeder of the North." He bows again, wishing he had an axe to back up his claim. "Would you mind telling me what kind of show we are preparing for?"
Lulu looks atthe woman before her. her eyes then turn to Pix. and after a few seconds a squirt of a giggle comes out, then another, then another, soon she starts to luagh.
you are really funny, she says as she can almost no longer contain her laughter, she step closer to the trio. approaching the larger woman (Mathilda) she leans against her leg, burying her face into Mathilda's fat. laughing so hard now.
but as she laughs a spurt of magic circles around Mathilda.
"Um," Kalisuel's eyes dart about nervously as she backs away from the trio, only to stumble and land hard on her rump.
"Owowowowow." She rubs where her pride was hurt and looks back up.
"Sorry, I'm a little clumsy, I guess. Weird things keep happening to me."
As if to demonstrate, something yanks on her ponytail and forces her head back.
"Owowow! Okay! Okay! I'm sorry I implied you guys were weird!"
The clueless, yet brilliant scientist is flabergasted... who are these moronic minions of peon-ness? Don't they know who I am? Ah I get it now!
Are you the HaNHR department? I wish to file a complaint against Missy-Moose! And while were at it I intend to become head scientist at this facility. Do you have any countermeasures against PETA?
Mathilda looks about ready to demand to know what Lulu was doing when she snorts, then bursts into a shrieking laugh that only added to the humor filling the room. The girl on the left smiles, but the one on the right snickers and barely manages to keep from breaking out into laughter herself.
Then suddenly, the big woman stops laughing and glares at the small sorceress. before waddling to turn around and glare at the two girls.
"Well, it seems that one of you finds this hilarious," The fat woman sneers as she produces a piece of paper from then air. The two girls gulp as the color drains from their faces. "Brianna," Mathilda says with a saccharine tone, "Be a dear and read what this says, hmm?"
The girl on the right is visibly shaking and hesitates for a moment, which prompts a loud and bellicose "NOW!" from her employer.
"I-i-i have been a very bad girl and have displeased m-m-m-my mistress. This is m-m-my punishment." Brianna says. Nothing happens for a long, breathless moment.
Then a loud boom and a flash of white fills the room.
Once the white smoke fades, Brianna is slumped against the wall, her shoes several feet to either side of her. She's clearly dazed and it takes a minute for her to return to her senses. When she stands, her jacket hangs from one shoulder and her tie has been partially undone, but she doesn't move to fix her appearance or retrieve her shoes.
"You know the rules, I trust," Mathilda asks in that saccharine tone from before. Brianna nods, and the fat woman peels Lulu from her leg.
"Good, because we have work to do." She heads through one of the single doors and into a room filled with all the accouterments of tailoring and armor making while carrying the Faen sorceress by the collar of her jacket.
"A fey trickster, eh? Well, I have ideas, but I need to know what I'm working with. Disrobe so that we can start." she commands with an imperious expression after setting her down on a table that brings the Faen eye-level with the large woman.
"Easy there big guy! We aren't the ones you get to hit. Rather we're the ones that get you ready to hit someone really, really hard!" Theodore says as he goes from jumping jacks to pushups.
"Right, right! This one's sharp boss! he even has an axe already!" Says one of the man's assistants.
"Good! Then we just need to figure out what the rest of him should look like." Theodore goes into a handstand and begins to lower and raise himself in the air. "Lessee here. A northern king? No, a brave knight. That's wrong. Barbarian warlord? Hmm, has promise. A viking? A pirate? An axe wielding ballerina! Yes! that's it!" He shouts before walking on his hands to one of the single doors and leading everyone into a room filled with the tools for making clothing and armor.
"So, How brawny is our friend here?" Theodore asks.
"I am Siggurd," says the man on the right.
"And I am Sigfried," says the man on the left.
"And before you stands D'mtri HoobaScooba III. Please direct all questions to him," Siggurd says as he points to the tall man with black skin.
"D'mtri would also like you to know that, no, we are not the Human and Non-Human Resources department. For that you would need to talk to the owner of this Demi-plane," Says Sigfried
"Now, we must get started. If you'll follow us."
The three lead Joseph to one of the single doors. Inside are the tools for a clothier and an armor to work with.
"Please, tell us of you capabilities and preferred methods of combat. You will also need to remove your labcoat so we may take measurements," Sigfried explains.
Both women blush in turn as Vivian greets them. Alder smirks at the whole affair, but his expression turns thoughtful when Vivian asks what kind of show they are preparing for.
"Good question. Allyson, do you know what exactly we're doing here?"
The girl in the lavender blouse pulls out a strange flat, rectangular device and consults it for a moment before answering.
"An Adventurer's Fashion Show and Gladiatorial Tournament, sir. We dress adventurers up in armor and send them to flaunt it then test it."
"Right, right, well then Mister Vitimus, We'll have you looking like a proper northern warrior in no time." then in a lower voice adds, "And admire them all you want, just no touching or sweet-talking. It could lead to some, ah awkward situations."
"OH! So Cute!"
"Can we keep her?!"
The two assistants help Kalisuel to her feet as they go into fangirl-mode.
"Ladies, please. We can only keep her if she wants us to. That said, You still haven't given us your name sweetie." Lavinica says as she leads everyone through one of the single doors into a workshop filled with tools for making clothing and armor.
"M-m-my name's Kalisuel. I'm an oracle in the service of the Black Butterfly," The young elf says as she's lead into the room. Distinctly uncomfortable with how close Lavinica's assistants were, or to be more precise, how tightly they were squeezing her between them.
Lulu begrugedly obeys and Pix is rather shocked at her actions. as Lulu disrobes, Pix flies around and tries to put things bak on her.
considering where we started...you really didn't need the spell, we started that way and Lulu didn't get any clothes...did she?
Anyway, I though Lulu would be casting Prestidigitation to make her outfit red this entire time.
thanks I forgot about that outfit. and we shall wait and see what she is dressed like first then worry about changing colors.
I still want my staff and my hat!
"See, was that so hard?" The cloying sweetness in her voice does nothing to hide the delight in her eyes as Lulu obeys her commands.
"Brianna, Lianna, take her measurements while I figure out how to turn this turnip into a creation that has even a glimmer of hope of matching my beauty!"
The Two assistants go to work as Mathilda begins sketching in the air.
"Sorry about this." one of them whispers as she measures her arms. Her face is flushed with embarrassment.
"Don't worry though, she can't do anything too bad to you." the other adds as she measures the Faen's hips.
"Less chit-chat, more progress!" Mathilda's voice booms as she works.
"Yes ma'am!" the twins say in unison and fall silent as they finish measuring Lulu. Although one of them smiles when she spots Pix flitting about.
After several minutes, Mathilda steps back and admires her work before stepping aside and showing Lulu. The outfit is all greens, yellows, browns, and autumnal reds. It'd look good on a dryad or an elf. On Lulu, it'd look ridiculous. "Now girls, I'm exhausted. I'm sure even you can handle the rest."
The large woman leaves, and as soon as the door is closed, the two sisters stick their tongues out and vent a little frustration at their "employer."
"Well, now that she's gone, I guess we'd better see what will actually work." One of them says as she takes off her jacket and loosens her tie.
"Yeah, how long do we have to work for her again?" The other asks as she straightens up her clothes from earlier as best she can.
"Too long. Oh, and... Um? Did you ever tell us your name? Anyway, you can put you clothes back on."
The two begin to gather materials and hashing out ideas, even asking asking Pix to hold still long enough to let them get his measurements as well.
The first thing they make is a red and gold trimmed hat. Soon followed by a white blouse, a red skirt with gold trim and a set of red robes belted with a delicate gold chain. For Pix, they make a shirt, vest, and pants in a similar style to match Lulu's outfit.
"Well, what do you think." They ask after a few hours of work.
"Don't worry about it! You're going to look fabulous!" Theodore reassures the half-orc.
After a few hours, Thunk is dressed in a black leather leotard with a ragged tu-tu and black tights. Dull, iron chains decorated with skulls cross his chest. On his feet are heavy black boots with iron plates in strategic locations to protect his legs and feet. On his head is an iron tiara with little delicate hearts.
"Y'know, I think we're going to get along just fine." Alder says as he gets to work.
A few hours later, Vivian is dressed as cross between a scholar and a mighty warrior, flowing green robes trimmed in white and silver hang over a suit of mithril mail and study, brown, woolen trousers. Heavy leather boots and belt round out the ensemble. On Vivian's brow rests a silver circlet with five finely cut emeralds.
You find youself in a ten-foot by ten-foot cell with a heavy wooden door and a thin slit of a window that lets in light. You are also completely nude. Thankfully for those with delicate sensibilities, you also lack the features that would make this an issue.
Suddenly, you find yourself blinded by a flash of light. Once your eyes have adjusted you see you are standing in a room with a large, black-skinned man, two deeply tanned men, another shorter, paler, and pot-bellied man, and a fourth man, who must weigh close to 350 pounds, dressed in a polo, jeans, and wearing glasses.
"Sorry, there's been a change of plans." The bespectacled man says.
With that he grabs the pot-bellied man and both disappear in a flash of light.
A few hours later, Pinocchio is dressed in black leather with extraneous straps hanging from his arms and polished black steel accents.
Pinocchio is confused. What on earth just happened? Oh well, these clothes are awesome, and the straps hanging from his arms look great with certain dance moves! If only he could add in flashes of reflected light from the steel accents. Unfortunately they are also black like the rest of the outfit and reflect poorly.
He starts running through every dramatic pose he knows that would take advantage of thin straps hanging off the arms.
as Lulu is being measured she occasionally gigles that tickles..
as Mathilda has her back turned working on the design Lulu wiggles her finger in the air like she is drawing and various funny faces and markings appear on Mathilda's behind.
Lulu stood completely wide eyed and nearly sick when the outfit was first presented. but the changes the assisstants made were much more acceptable.
Lulu became ecstatic when the hat was placed on her head.
Almost immediately Pix flew under the hat looking to make himself at home as it sit on Lulu's head.
I.. don't know what to say...It's sooo, me. All I need now is a staff, and a little glowy stone thingy at the top and I'll be all set.
lulu stomps her foot on the ground as her white shirt changes to purple. she lets out a giggle Thanks, I just wish there was something I could do for you.
"This is magnificent!" Vivian exclaims, twisting around every which way to look at his new clothes and armour. The circlet especially impresses him - while it was a little fancier than the helmets of the Northmen, it was nonetheless comfortable - and incredibly fashionable.
"So, what happens now?" he asks eagerly, moustache quivering. "Do we handle the fashion show or the gladiatorial combat first?" He beams at Alder, Allyson, and Zelda each in turn, the excitement on his face looking more suited to a child than a middle-aged gentleman.
"Don't worry about it." One of the twins says.
"Yeah, we still owe Mathilda another 200 hours of work. She won't accept gold or any other payment."
With that, you are escorted to the next room for "Accessories."
"Now, we get you the biggest Baddest axe we can find!" Theodore exclaims as he leads Thunk to the "Accessories" room.
"I believe it was the show then the combat." Allyson consults the strange rectangular device she has cradled in the crook of her arm.
"Either way, we need to finish getting you ready."
The trio leads you to a room labeled "Accessories" and finds a few more pieces of gear.
Pinocchio is lead into a room with all manner of equipment and the three men finish kitting him out.
Another flash of light and you all find yourselves in a large room. Each of you in decked out in the best designs in the adventurer fashion world.
Then there's poor Kali. The clothes she'd been wearing had done a fair job at hiding the figure beneath, and the outfit she wears now leaves little to the imagination. A simple, slinky dress that hugs her slender curves and has neckline that ends at her navel. Her face is bright red, despite her skin being as dark as night.
Pinocchio looks about and waves a wooden hand at several new faces. Hi! I'm Pinocchio! Do any of you know where I am?
Before he can ask any more questions, Vivian finds himself in a large room with the others. Blinking, he rubs his eyes, his moustache twitching in annoyance. He looks around at the group, unable to help grinning at the splendid outfits... Then his eyes land on Pinocchio. He raises one greying eyebrow at the wooden creature curiously.
"Well, this is fascinating!" he says, more to himself than anyone else. "If you don't mind my asking, what are you?"
His eyes then land on Kali, and he shakes his head in sympathy. "Oh my poor girl, that simply doesn't suit you at all, does it?" He sighs, crossing the room to the drow girl and placing a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry, I'm sure once this is over, we can find you something a little more... Modest."
Why, I'm a puppet! I was carved by Master Japetto and brought to life by the blue fairy! Someday, if I'm brave and good, I'll be a real boy!
Lulu appears, all dressed in her new duds. (now she looks like the picture). waving hi to everyone, she spies someone new.
Pix was peeking out from under Lulu's hat and quickly flies over to see this wooden boy.
Pix flutters all around leaving little rainbow colored sparkle trail behind him.
Lulu skips over to the wooden boy. Hi puppet. I'm Lulu and that's Pix. the Blue Fairy made you alive? that is neat, Pix is like a fairy, but he can't make real boys.
glancing at Kali, lulu starts to giggle a little bit. and she points her new staff at Kali. and soon the rest of her skin color starts to change to match her face. (DC 13 will negates)
Pinocchio stares in wonder at the rainbow flying around him. A massive smile lights up his face. Another fairy! Oh gosh, this is the most exciting day of my life!
If Kali notices that she just had a spell cast on her, she doesn't look it.
"Thanks, Vivian, but first I have to not die of embarrassment."
Pix, leave puppet alone, I know you miss the blue fairy, but you are the one that decided to join with me. lulu shoos pix away from Pinocchio.
So what do we do now?
"I believe there was mention of gladiatorial combat!" Vivian exclaims, preening his moustache and goatee delightedly. "Oh, and some pesky fashion show or other. But mostly, combat! Glorious combat!"
Pinocchio's head cocks to the side with a tiny creak. What's come bat?
Vivian stops mid-daydream to stare at Pinocchio. "Why, fighting!" he explains with a little more fervour than is perhaps required. "Battle! Eagle-feeding! That glorious dance where men shed their battle-sweat and feel the sleep of the sword!" He's so caught up in his wordplay, it doesn't occur to him for an instant that the puppet probably has no idea what he's talking about.
As Vivian talks Lulu is behind him making all sorts of funny pictures over his head, mimicking what he says. (so only Pinocchio can see) (or anyone else watching)
Pinocchio stares at Vivian at first, then his eyes drift up and he stares at something above his head. True to form, everything was going straight over the puppet's head. When Vivian stops speaking (and thus the pictures stop) he claps and cheers, Do it again! Do it again!
A harried looking man with a whiny voice comes into the room as the lights dim. A pulsing music with strange ethereal melodies begins to play from some unseen source.
"Shh! It's starting, and all of you plebeians are up!" The man shuffles you into a rough line with a fussiness that can't all be just a habit (you hope anyway.)
"Walk out there, one at a time. Strut your stuff, then walk back here. Got it? Good!"
And with that, he pushes the first of you towards the walkway.
Pinnochio doesn't know what to do with such a stage. It's so Long! He stumbles out onto the runway and strikes a heroic pose, the same ones he had rehersed before. His practice gives him confidence and he even tries a few simple dance moves in transition.
Grapevine, spin, pose! His leather wings fly behind him as he lets the music inspire him.
Pose, criss cross, jump, Pose! At the very least he was landing his poses on the right beats.
Hand stand, one arm, roundoff, look-behind pose! His magically animated body does not know fatigue as he puts on a display of acrobatics on the way back. It ends in a beautiful layed out backflip that lands just as the music hits high energy.
Say! That was great! He declairs as he walks back to the fuzzy man.
Vivian preens himself as he stands in line, combing his whiskers, stretching his ears, smoothing down his face-fur, and flexing his tail. He applauds politely as Pinocchio finishes his display, coughing just as politely as he steps past him and out onto the runway.
Drawing the magic longsword with the first step, he strides purposefully down the catwalk striking a series of poses with the weapon, as if cutting down imaginary foes in time with the beat. He turns on one heel, strikes a pose to one side, then to the other. He sways his hips and shoulders, turning his movements into more of a dance as he heads back towards the others, turning back at the end with a canine snarl, before heading off the stage with a swish of his tail.
Kali goes next, and almost immediately casts darkness over herself and the runway, shrouding it with a star filled void that mirrors the night sky quite well. She rushes to the end of the runway, and rushes back with unseemly haste.
Which somehow is seen as decisive and confident.
Vivian again applauds politely as Kali dashes back, rather impressed by her bold, decisive confidence.