"Yes, onward, milady!" Vivian exclaims, bristling with excitement. "Show us these tunnels! And, er, what is this black butterfly you speak of?"
After walking for fifteen minutes, the party finds the room that Kalisuel had mentioned. Dozens and dozens of tunnels each ten feet wide come off of this twenty foot by twenty foot room.
"Wait, I don't remember it being like this. What happened here?"
Kalisuel asks, obviously confused.
Veegal's extreme dedication to his vow of silence have not only improved his powers of observation, but his memory as well! He remembers every inch and detail of this room with relative ease. Then again, he also seems to remember every other aspect of this adventure so far, such as tentacles and... wind socks...
Veegal proceeds, but shudders at the thought, unable to strike it from his all but perfect hippocampus.
Vivian doubles over, clutching at his head, his tail bristling and ears setting themselves flat. "What's happening?" he groans, feeling as though his head is about to explode.
I remember this part of the tower! We went this way, then tbat way, then over there, then up that wall and... And... Oh dear...
Joseph then starts clutching his head
My cranium seems to be experiencing excessive pressure in the frontal lobe. I hope i can find a remidy to the situation before Thrunk is forced to use a more bludgioning tactic...
Lulu was still messing with the not there illusionary wall, that was really a real wall.
she kept tapping it and looking it over. as the others moved on Pix noticed and grabbed Lulu to drag her to catch up.
running to catch up she makes her way into the room
wow...lokk at all these ways to go. I got an idea
Lulu starts to color code as many hallways as possible making each entryway a different color.
Now, when we check a passage we just have to rememeber the color.
"Huh, how long is that going to last? The colors I mean." Kalisuel looks at Lulu, curiosity glittering in her eyes.
Lulu looks at the dark skinned elf I think they last about an hour. but I never really counted that high.
Thunk stops when he notices something odd about the hallway. As Vivian and Joseph double over in pain, Thunk giggles to himself. "Hehehehe, little ones funny. Ahhhhh!" he exclaims while mockingly grabbing his skull and laughing. "New friends play strange games."
"Thunk, you... you mean you don't feel that?" Vivian asks in amazement. Perhaps the half-orc's idiocy was protecting him.
"Feel what?" the half-Orc asked still smiling. The little man was being silly as far as thunk knew, and given that only 2 of the group felt ill, it only added to his humor.
As Joseph and Vivian reel in pain, a familiar, nasally voice echoes through the strange chamber.
"Where was I? Oh yes! I shall laugh at your-- Hey wait a sec, this isn't the prison block I put you in."
Fumbling, bumping, popping, mumbling, and cursing is all the party hears for a few moments before you hear, "WHO DARES COLOR THE WALLS OF MY DUNGEON! IT TOOK ME LIKE FIVE MINUTES TO GET IT THAT COLOR GRAY!"
Finally getting to grips with what he is seeing infront of him, Joseph comes to a realization
Ahhhh. I see! Its a multi-dimentional space! See where one dimention folds into another? This is quite advanced quantium physics! I feel the best way to test its effects and functions on the biological anatomy is to push someone into one of the rooms...
Hia Missy-Moose! You seem to be back. Good. I have a complaint to file! Where is your HaNHR department? Or better yet, where is your office so that I my take out my indignitation on you, yourself.
then, as an afterthought,
Oh. Thats right! I would like a job working here as one of your head scientists! Ehehehehehe!
Do... do they know each other?! Veegal thinks, as Joseph waxes into his monologue, but then reconsidered as Joseph refers to the disembodied voice as "Missy-Moose" instead of "The Dark Lord-"
Veegal stopped himself before the lightning kicked in.
Anyway, he awaits further reaction from "Maurice" and his compatriots.
"It's Malvenicus," ominous thunder echoes in the chamber, "you dolt."
"It does not matter that you escaped from my prison, because this will be much more entertaining. You have doomed yourselves to a gruesome dea-- Wait a minute, where's that old man? Hmmm, lemme see, rewind, playba-- YE GODS! I'M SCARRED! SCARRED FOR LIFE! Oh good, he gets dressed again and..."
There is several moments of silence before you hear Malvenicus (Kra-Ka-Koom!) again.
"I have peered into the depths of Hell, the Abyss, and 4chan, and that is still the most disturbing thing I have ever seen."
All goes silent for another minute, then you hear a sigh.
"Well, it appears that my tower has given you a taste of its power. I shall enjoy watching you as your pathetic lives are snuffed out. Beg for mercy and bow before me, nay, prostrate yourselves, and I might grant you mercy! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
That maddening nasally laughter echoes off into silence.
Joseph seems quite put out, crossing his arms and pouting like a little kid
Harumph! So he thinks he can call me a dolt, does he? Well ill show THAT Missy-Moose! Alright minions, new plan! I am going to take over this tower! Make it mine! To do that we need to continue on from here.
Thrunk! We need to test the stability of those multi-dimentional hallways. It is your priviledge to go first and pave the way!
Rolling his eyes, Vivian considers smacking Joseph upside the back of the head. Or throwing him into one of the tunnels. Or something.
"Stop talking about other people that way! We are not your pawns, nor are we experiments to be used at your whim! Besides I came through here just fine, and if a delicate girl could do it, then a man should be more than capable, right?" Kalisuel's glare is withering, but it is yet to be seen if her appeal to Joseph's ego will work.
As Malvenicus starts speaking Lulu, taps the sword she is carrying on the ground. Doltify she says and as he speaks his voice sounds more like a someone after inhaling helium.
Malvenicus sounds like a chipmunk for most of his speech, though he doesn't seem to notice.
Kalisuel, meanwhile, barely manages to contain her laughter.
Thunk stares blankly into space during the majority of the exchange, laughing hysterically at the chipmunk voice. Still giggling to himself, he turns to Joseph after his command. "Me name is Thunk." he says before one handedly picking up this frail excuse for a human. "You not so nice to others. Thunk no like this. Be nice." he says sternly before dropping Joseph to the ground. He then smiles at Kalisuel's remark, standing next to her smiling. "New friend!" Thunk says in beaming delight before hoisting the drow onto his shoulders.
"N-n-nice to meet you Thunk!" Kali says after being hoisted to Thunk's shoulders.
"Well!" Vivian exclaims, rubbing his hands. "I suppose we'd best get moving, hadn't we? And it's only fitting for a Mighty Hero to lead the way!" Puffing his chest and drawing his rapier, he strides forward confidently into the nearest tunnel.
Joseph stammers a bit, clearly more then a little intimidated, then the let down... Joseph pands on his rump with a Oof!
Ok. Ok. Ill be, ugg, nice.
Apparently apealing to Josephs manhood had little effect, buut a show of force had quite the remarkable results.
Joseph gets up and grumbling, follows after Vivian and (presumably) Thrunk, not wanting to be behind him.
The tunnel seems to twist and turn without ever actually twisting and turning. After several minutes of walking, the maddening effects of the hyper dimensional space wear off and those that had the terrible splitting headaches forget all about why they had them. The tunnel becomes less finished and uniform as the party continues, eventually turning into a natural tunnel lit by glowing fungus.
Soon, you approach a cavern filled with platforms, moving stairways, and some cheap, annoying music that's just loud enough to not be ignored. A young lady in a close-fitting mail, and with a pretty, if vapid, smile stands at the entrance to the cavern. A sign with neat, precise letters reads "Bloodbath and Beyond."
"Hello and welcome to Bloodbath and Beyond, your one-stop shop for all of your carnage and mayhem needs. Would you like to try one of new fall lines of armor? Now 25% off!" She says as you approach.
Before setting off, thunk hands the heavy mace to Kalisuel. "Just in case. But be good with it. Thunk promised Krunk he'd take care of it." Thunk says sheepishly before walking with Vivian. "No ask, though." he says again, his obvious embarrassment showing.
When they stumble upon the ridiculously gaudy looking cavern, Thunk smiles at the woman. "Yay! Thunk feels naked still." he says wandering towards the armor selection. Suddenly as he grabs at a set of scale mail, he realizes Kali is still atop his shoulders and sets her down, with a smile. He then compares the armor against himself, checking if it suits his taste....and stature.
Joseph walks into the room and can make out some sort of hazy platforms in the distance.
Apparently not...
But he does see the shop sign as he nearly runs into it...
Ahh! I see! Its a pawn shop! And whos pawn are you?
Remember Thrunk, we dont have any money!
What do we do to get money? Or we could kill this pawn and take his money, then we could pay for the armor!
Clearing his throat, Vivian addresses the young, mail-clad woman with a winning smile that could be considered somewhat threatening with his canine teeth. "Right, well, you see my dear, we... Don't exactly have any money. But, we're Mighty Heroes! Is there any chance you could make a, ah, small concession for Mighty Heroes?"
The change is almost imperceptible, but the greeter's vapid smile turns into one that mingles the worst aspects of a shark's and a wolf's smile.
"Oh that's okay. Today is your lucky day, we've been looking for heroes such as yourself to participate in a Bloodbath and Beyond exclusive pilot program. We at Bloodbath and Beyond are always looking for ways to bring more value to our customers, and if you participate, we'll give each of you a credit for 500 gold pieces in the store!"
Then turning to Joseph, "And it is strictly against store policy to threaten employees, merchandise, or company property. If you do so again, I will have to kill you and remove your bloody corpse from the store," she says cheerfully.
"I will," the dark elf promises Thunk.
Kalisuel smiles at Thunk's forgetfulness when he goes to look at the armor. She looks at him as he holds the scale to his frame.
"Are you sure that'll fit?" she asks, "You have such a broad build that we may have to order you something."
Thunk grunts in exasperation at Kali's suggestion. "Always the same. Thunk likes living in forest better. Nobody prepared when Thunk around." he then turns to the sales woman.
"What is pilot? Thunk Pilot?"
"Um, you know, I'm not really sure, but we can custom fit something for you if you participate!" The sales lady says with a great big smile.
Thunk stares blankly at the woman for a moment......"Ok!" Thunk says enthusiastically.
Lulu barely notices the salesperson, she just sees lots of things that look interesting.
She starts rushing about the "shop" looking at various dresses but she really is looking for hats. she leaves a little rainbow of color as a trail as she moves about the store.
it does not take look until much of the merchandise now looks Tie died
Pix flies all about looking for a hat that looks like Lulu's old hat. though he leaves a rainbow colored sparkle trail it does not change the color of anything.
"Excellent! Are you a part of this group, or is it just yourself?" The lady asks excitedly, something in her eyes sparkling with real emotion behind that vapid expression.
Another lady in chainmail, one who looks almost like a clone of the one at the entrance steps in front of Lulu and Pix. On her face is that same vapid smile the other one wore.
"Please refrain from changing the colors of our decor or merchandise. Management will be very upset if they catch you. In the meantime, is there anything I can help you with?"
The big man has spoken! It appears you have 6 new recruits for your pilot program! If i recall, Mannet needed new clothes... Now where did he get to??
Joseph seems stuck in a reprieve, then snaps out of it.
Now lets talk insurance! Do you have the latest in Horrific Death and Dismemberment Insurance?
When do we start? What do we do?
Thunk nods at the sales lady to answer her question, doubly acknowledged by Joseph. "No orange though. Orange mean to Thunk." he says with a scowl.
When Joseph mentions Manet, you hear a distant ghostly voice scream, "The Horror!" although it's not much louder than a soft whisper when it reaches your ears.
After Thunk and Joseph both agree, a voice speaks up from behind them.
"Of course, right this way gentlemen and ladies," says a woman clad in shining half-plate that does nothing to hide her feminine charms, her voice is like silken chocolate laced with some smooth venom. More sales staff appears and leads you to the offices hidden away in some unseen corner of the cavern.
"Now, who is the leader of this group? You will need to sign this contract and these waivers. Nothing serious, I assure you," she purrs once everyone's inside. "Once that is done, we can begin with the program."
Pix flies over to the papers and starts to examine them.
lulu on the other hand, is looking a bit upset that she still does not have a hat. and the area around her starts to turn purple. (neon purple to be exact)
-Bloodbath and Beyond takes no responsibility for any deaths that occur as a result of the program.
-You cannot take anything other than the 500 gp you receive for participating.
-Violating the above or backing out results in the person being handed over to the management for three days and nights.
Curiously, it doesn't give a clue as to what you will actually be doing.
As the superior intelect of the group, i will take responsibility for the legal paperwork. Let me see here.
Hmm... Oh my...
Ok.. That checks out....
But what if?..
Yup! Seems to be a standard Non-Liability form with a Three-Day-Imprisionment clause. Would there be comulsions attached to ensure compliance or is it purely mundane trust and good will?
Regardless, joseph signs the forms after a few minutes.
Vivian boldly signs the papers without looking at them. After all, Mighty Heroes didn't need legal flim-flammery. Also, he doubts he can read anything with the violent purple colour radiating from Lulu.
"Now!" he grins, his tail swishing back and forth excitedly, "What will we be doing?"
Thunk hisses slightly when he sees the writing, quickly hiding behind Kalisuel. "What it say? Say things about Thunk? Mean things?" he asks softly nudging Kali towards the paper.
"No, it's just an agreement that you won't take anything, other than the money they give you at the end, or back out. They also say that if you die, they aren't responsible."
Kalisuel looks a little worried at that last part.
Vivian isn't worried. He's too busy humming to himself, his tail wagging with excitement at the idea of proving himself as a Mighty Hero. Whatever it was he'd be doing.