Private PbP Game Day 2 mod.
You are the heroes of the Licktoad Tribe, living legends after you triumphed against the terrible goblin cannibal Vorka and recovered many fireworks from her lair. Your tribe used the fireworks to great effect, but one day while you were out scrounging for more fireworks, adventurers came into the swamp and wiped out your tribe. You returned to your home
to find it in ruins. Oh well.
Now homeless, you have decided to travel to the closest tribe of goblins you know about-the Birdcrunchers. Maybe they'll have room for you to join! Only, now that you've arrived in Birdcruncher territory, something seems wrong.
The Birdcrunchers appear unusually nervous and frightened, cowering around the entrance to their cave. They aren't even trying to defend their territory. And now, a wrinkled old goblin with bulging eyes is waddling out of the crowd, approaching you. She's obviously some sort of shaman-maybe even the chieftain. If anyone here knows whether or not you can join the tribe, it'd likely be her!
Goblin very wrinkled. Must be from thinking hard. That's why Reta have smooth face.
Wrinkled goblin! Us be strong! Why you 'fraid?
Time for things to go...BOOM!
Why goblins 'friad?
"Like Reta say, wrinkled goblin, we goblins strong. We be good for Birdcrunchers."
So, lady! You with Birdcrunchers, yes? You need help?
The goblins eyes bulge from her wrinkled face, and she walks hunched over, leaning on a gnarled wooden staff decorated with puppy tails and horse ears. She wears a ratty doghide gown cinched with a rope belt from which hang dog's paws, a pair of horseshoes, a fearsomely large dead stirge, and the pickled and shrunken head of a bright blue mite.
"Well, well! What have we here? Licktoads, by the look of you, and from what I hear, orphans as well, hmm? Looking for a new place to live, I suspect? Well, you might be in luck, because we need new blood. Our own chieftains have been ... lacking ... in chieftainish ways. We've been having problems lately with an ogre and his fire-breathing boars, you see, and any goblins capable of killing the boars and driving off the ogre ... or driving off the boars and killing the ogre ... or ... or whatever-well, they'll not only be welcomed into Birdcruncher territory with open arms. They'll be made chieftains, one and all!"
With that, the gathered Birdcruncher goblins suddenly animate into cheers and song. Eager and excited, they surge out of the cave to welcome their saviors, but suddenly freeze as the old woman shrieks out a command for silence. The goblins freeze in place, and she continues in a softer voice.
"But we can't just assume you're the stuff chieftains are made of. You might just be lucky. No, no ... before we accept you as our saviors and before you'll even have a chance to face off against Pa Munch meat and his pig ... I declare we have a Chieftain Moot!"
"Poog hero of Zarongel. Poog use fire of Zarongel to be Birdcruncher chief. Pa Munch not strong as Zarongel and Poog. Vorka thought strong too, but Poog beat nasty witch. Maybe with a little help from Mogmurch, Chuffy, and Reta big-head."
Chieftain Mute? Good! Not want to hear chieftain!
"Chuffy hero and full of chieftain stuff. Chuffy and others killed goblin-eater Vorka. We do same for Pa Munch. But what does wrinkled goblin lady want us heroes to do to prove selfs?"
Chuffy puffs out his chest a little.
Chieftain? That be good for Reta. Her mighty girthness Reta. Reta want to be chief always
Reta dreams off bit, then focuses on more important things!
Mischief and meat!
The gathered goblins erupt into cheers again, and you know why-a chieftain Moot is a day-long festival of games and dares, a tradition among the local tribes when the need to select a new chief arises. Those
goblins who want to be considered for the role must endure a number of trials during the moot, and if they survive and win, they earn the respect and support of the rest of the tribe.
Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh barks a few orders, and the Birdcrunchers scurry off to start organizing the moot. She then introduces herself to you,
"Me Sprattleharsh, me like Birdcrunchers, me no like bad cheefs. Good cheef stay." then invites you into the cave to sit and warm your feet by the fire.
and love for the Birdcrunchers. They whisper that she made one warrior who offended her vomit up a handful of spiny toads, and once set fire to a chief who interrupted her. One story even relates how she made a goblin who tried to curse the tribe write down the word "breathe" after which he promptly forgot how to breathe and died on the spot. The Birdcrunchers
happily confirm how wonderful she is, if asked, and how any new ruler would be wise to listen to her-or else.
At this point, you spend the day and a night resting and preparing for the next day's moot. Most of the Birdcrunchers spend the day preparing for the moot itself (and they're unusually secretive, for goblins, about what types of dares and trials they're readying for you).
That evening, a huge feast is held around the cave's central bonfire. The feast consists almost entirely of various bird dishes-seagull soup, charred grackle, raven's-eye pudding, vulture-ups, spicy sparrow poppers, and squeaky beakies are just a portion of the often-challenging dishes presented to the PCs during the night. The feast also gives the you a chance to talk to the Birdcrunchers and learn a bit more about what's going on in the region.
As darkness falls, Wise Mummy brings out the fabled Crunchy Crown of the Birdcruncher Tribe-a crown made out of bird skulls and bones and wings and twigs. She places the Crunchy Crown near the bonfire, then proclaims: "Tamorow, Birdcrunchers have new cheef. New cheef will be kick ugly Munchmeat ogre out Ravenroost!"
Turning to you, "Goblin who prove best at moot get Crunchy Crown and get Chieftain's treasure chest!"
The Birdcrunchers oooh and ahhh appropriately.
Sound like Sprattleharsh dangerous. Once Reta chief, Reta boil Sprattleharsh. To be sure.
Reta will be new chief. Reta win all games, just like last time!
Hmmmm Sprattleharsh kinda scary, why she no try to be cheef?
"Reta didn't win all games. Chuffy won last time too."
I be ready to be new cheef...just wait and see! Ummm...any more of that pudding left?
Only stupid get head stuck game!
Hearing your question about Mogmurch some goblins look furtively at one another and appear uncomfortable in answering you.
"Mogmurch and big pig mean. Need go away. You smart, you do good."
The night progresses with merryment and fights, a typical goblin feast and revelry. The next day the goblins are ready and eager to begin the moot.
Sprattleharsh tells you that the chieftains-in-waiting (as you are now known) must endure three dares-the winner is the goblin who earns the most points across these three dares.
Blind Bird Shoot.
The Birdcrunchers clamber into trees or sit on rocks that ring the valley while Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh explains the rules:
"I let birds go. You shoot.
First birds 2 point, two times birds 4 point, three times birds 6 point."
What? Why I get less points for three birds?
"Quiet Reta. Chuffy want to hear birds, not big head.
After we finish, we can eat birds, yes?
Perception:
Ranged:
Damage:
Perception:
Ranged:
Damage:
Perception:
Ranged:
Damage:
;
;
;
As you are given your bows and arrow, you listen as hard as you can then hear Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh scream
"Shoot" then you hear a thump as she dives out of your way.
The first flock is loosed!
Thunk, splat, Caw!, poof!
The second flock is loosed!
Thunk, splat and...
Rolling from d20 chart for misses...
The shot is a spectacularly bad miss that earns nothing but jeers and insults.
The shot comes dangerously close to hitting a goblin in the crowd, resulting in shrieks.
The third flock is loosed!
Caw!
The shot is a spectacularly bad miss that earns nothing but jeers and insults. Girl no hit barn!"
The shot hits a goblin in the surrounding crowd, resulting in one shriek and a lot of laughter (earns 1 point). "EEEEEEK"
The shot is a spectacularly bad miss that earns nothing but jeers and insults. "Boo! You no good!"
Reta:
Chuffy:
Mogmurch:
Poog:
I is ready to be new cheef!
In this dare, you begin on the southern shore of the bog and are fitted with wide, clumsy, human boots. A single stirge on a 5-foot-long tether is tied to each of the red posts. The goal of this game is to kill as many stirges as possible (preferably by stomping, which qualifies as an unarmed strike, but any method of stirge killing is allowed) without falling into the swamp below!
Mummy scream "All Shutup! Moot two start! Bomb Goblin shoot good, who good at stomping!!??"
Pointing at the bog, she continues
"You climb poles, stomp stirge, no fall.
You kill stirge, 2pts, you last one up, 5pts.
Staring at you she emphasizes,
You fall, no more points. Dare end when only one standing."
She then throws a thunderstone BOOOOM! and screams "NOW RUN!"
Reta:
Mogmurch:
Poog:
Chuffy:
Stirges:
Any goblin who falls into the swamp before the end of the first round is disqualified.
Hooman Boots: The big boots you wear are cumbersome and reduce the speed by 5 feet. In addition, you attempt Acrobatics checks at a -2 penalty while wearing the boots.
Planks and Posts: Each plank and post is 1 foot wide and slightly unsteady. A successful DC 7 Acrobatics check is required to move along a plank; you fall if 5 or less on such a check.
Stirges: A total of 12 stirges are tied to posts. Each stirge can attack anyone within 5 feet of its post. Killing a stirge earns 2 points. Once all 12 stirges are dead, the dare ends.
Falling: It's only a 10-foot fall from a post or plank to the swampy ground. Those who fall are disqualified and can accumulate no more points during this dare.
Last Goblin Standing: The dare ends automatically as soon as only one of you remains on the planks and posts which earns 5 points.
Me go first!
Climb:
Acrobatics:
Aaargh! Stoopid hooman boots!
Reta want to be in middle of attention, so Reta climb middle pole.
Reta stomp stirges
Chuffy laughs maniacally at Mog as he falls into the swamp.
"Mog, you suppose to stay on planks. Not jump into swamp."
Chuffy moves, a little unstable, up to the third pole from the west, moving up to stomp on a stirge.
"Why hooman's wear stupid boots?"
Poog tries to look confident. He mutters, "Must be easier than riding dogs. Do for Zarongel."
Poog heads for second plank from left. Poog only make it onto first plank; no stomping stirges yet.
Reta think stomping stupid, Reta much better with bow! Reta shoot stirges, so they fall down!
Reta bouncing forward quickly dispatches the nearest stirge while Mogmuch slips, trips and dips into the bog below.
Chuffy, stumbling up a pole and tries to stomp a stirge and Poog nimbly clambers onward!
Reta is attacked yet dodges out of the large flying insects pointy beak.
Cuffy is attacked by the closest stirge which then latches on and sticks its proboscis into his flesh!
"Ahh stupid sucking flying..."
Chuffy attempts to escape the little sucking menace. , before trying to stomp on it again.
Poog sucks up courage to jump to next plank to the north.
Poog makes the motions of stomping as best he can while casting a fire bolt at the closest stirge.
;
Ah! Nasty!
Stupid mosquito trying to suck blood from Reta! Reta stomp mosquito! Or better, shoot at it!
Chuffy flings the stirge off yet feels sick which might have caused him to miss the stomp...
-
In retribution for flinging it off the stirge attacks Chuffy again!
- grappled again with its big ole nose stuck into your leg.
Poog nimbly jumps onto the next plank and lands on the stirge squishing it to a bloody pulp!
Reta dodges the stirge attack yet looses her balance and falls into the bog below......stupid hooman boots
Chuffy lets out a shreek as the stirge bites back into his leg. Drawing his dogslicer, he takes a swing at the foul little beast.
Poog gets big smile on big ugly face.
"Zarongel bless Poog for fire on stirge!"
Poog stands still and points at stirge at end of Poog's plank.
;
Chuffy stabs the stirge and it falls from it's perch, dripping Chuffy's blood into the bog below.
Chuffy still feels a bit wobbly...
Poog prays to Zarongel and blasts forth fire only to singe the planks in front of him.
Many laughs erupt from the gathered goblin crowd.
Reta climb back from dirty sludge swamp. Stoopid hooman boots.
Chuffy glances over at Poog and laughs at the fire-scorched planks in front of him before moving toward the next stirge.
"Poog supposed to hit stirges, not planks."
Hooman boots are two clumsy, Chuffy stick with dogslicer.
"Chuffy has weak arm. Can't hurt fly; no surprise Chuffy can't hurt big ugly stirge thing!"
Poog shoots a fire bolt at the stirge in front of Chuffy.
;
As Reta climbs on the plank closest to her the stirges leap in a whir! Thankfully they are tied to the planks...
Yet the audience's arms are not! Hissing and booing the goblin hoard flings rocks, vegetation and poo!
Much to their chagrin, all projectiles miss.
As Chuffy connects with another stirge Poog continues his plank burning strategy which gathers fewer guffaws than before......
The stirge attacks Chuffy yet due to its tether the proboscis swings wide.
"Hahahaha. But maybe Poog have good idea. Burn planks so stirge get away.... nope not good plan."
Chuffy stabs at the stirge again. "Stupid stirge, just die so Chuffy gets point."
Poog draws dogslicer and swings at the nearest stirge.
"Stay still stupid stirge!"
As both goblins swing and miss the stirges whirl and attack!
The stirge nearest Chuffy swings it's large sucking pink nose wide.
Poog now has a stirge stuck to him and a large chortle emits from the goblin audience!
"Poog madder than Squealy Nord on bacon day! Chuffy - Poog make it up to you later. Zarongel kill these nasty, nasty, stirgeges!"
Poog channels negative energy.