Three Man Regicide team results


Pathfinder First Edition General Discussion


A few weeks ago, I asked what I should do about making a three man regicide team. Just wanted to say thanks for the advice and that I got the job done with one tiefling rouge. Snuck into the palace disguised as a maid, said I needed to empty the queen's chamber pot while she was sleeping and then smashed her head in with a hammer. I got captured before I could get out because the guards heard her head explode, but my cohort picked up my reward and I successfully completed a quest while my party was asleep.

Grand Lodge

Pathfinder PF Special Edition, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Smashed her head in with a hammer?

I see you went for the subtle approach.


Getting captured doesn't sound like a great success.


a rogue couldn't climb out the window?

what sounds do popping heads make?

should have just made a ninja and used assassinate


The room was specifically built in the middle of the palace so that intruders couldn't sneak in or escape through windows. I was actually counting on climbing out the window, but the place had better security than I thought. All the halberds in the world won't save you if you can't see through a bluff though.

A popping head makes whatever sound the DM says it makes, and he kind of hated it that I killed what turned out to be a pretty well built potential combatant in her sleep.

As far as getting captured goes, that doesn't matter. I got the job done, and will almost certainly escape.


ummm how are you going to escape, seeing as I'm certain they plan to execute you. If you couldn't escape the bed chambers with your gear on you, how do you escape the prison cell, and the entire castle without your gear, seeing as the unsuspected security was the issue that got you captured int he first place?


Pendagast wrote:
ummm how are you going to escape, seeing as I'm certain they plan to execute you. If you couldn't escape the bed chambers with your gear on you, how do you escape the prison cell, and the entire castle without your gear, seeing as the unsuspected security was the issue that got you captured int he first place?

Pretty sure they didn't have much of their gear on. Snuck in as a maid and probably was checked by the guards before she went in. (assuming character is female since snuck in as maid)


The Indescribable wrote:
Pendagast wrote:
ummm how are you going to escape, seeing as I'm certain they plan to execute you. If you couldn't escape the bed chambers with your gear on you, how do you escape the prison cell, and the entire castle without your gear, seeing as the unsuspected security was the issue that got you captured int he first place?
Pretty sure they didn't have much of their gear on. Snuck in as a maid and probably was checked by the guards before she went in. (assuming character is female since snuck in as maid)

so maids have hammers, or these or common implements laying around bed chambers?


less suspicious than a dagger.


The Indescribable wrote:
less suspicious than a dagger.

On a maid??

Daggers are every where, they use them as tools, they use them to eat with…in reality a dagger is about as suspicious as a multitool is on a workman today.

a maid carrying a hammer?
that would be odd, and certainly not as concealable as a knife.


Pendagast wrote:
The Indescribable wrote:
less suspicious than a dagger.

On a maid??

Daggers are every where, they use them as tools, they use them to eat with…in reality a dagger is about as suspicious as a multitool is on a workman today.

a maid carrying a hammer?
that would be odd, and certainly not as concealable as a knife.

I don't exactly know what they ask of maids in this kingdom. I could possibly see the excuse that the queen made the unreasonable demand to fix a wobbly table leg RIGHT NOW.

Who would you be to argue based off of job description?

Anyway, going back to unreasonable demands- they could well have the right to make sure you don't have a dagger. Ignoring the obvious security issue, there is the fact that you shouldn't be eating on the job (since it is palace supplies).


she wanted something fixed right now… with a hammer, while she was sleeping, by the maid, who told the guards she went in there to clean the chamber pot…. with a hammer.


Hammers are vital for chiseling the gunk out of the bottom of the chamber pot. Nothing else will match that chiseled clean look for expensive china.


I hope those dumb guards are in the prison with the assassin too!


Pendagast wrote:
she wanted something fixed right now… with a hammer, while she was sleeping, by the maid, who told the guards she went in there to clean the chamber pot…. with a hammer.

Hey, I never said it was a good plan. It wasn't even my plan. And it is not like I knew the plan that was actually used. I am just saying that I could spin enough to justify the successful bluff check.

Plus, how are the guards supposed to know for sure that the queen is asleep? The queen might be lying in bed, unable to sleep because she is worried about the wobbly table that the chamberpot rests on.

Or the maid might have decided that she wanted to grab the chamberpot for disposal while she was going on to do some other task (maybe the queen complained about a raised nail in the floor boards of the ballroom that caught her dress). Honestly, as someone that has done menial labor while being overloaded with tasks, I can imagine a ton of ways to justify having a hammer while going into the royal bedchambers.


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FuelDrop wrote:
Hammers are vital for chiseling the gunk out of the bottom of the chamber pot. Nothing else will match that chiseled clean look for expensive china.

I'd call that "unlikely" and give out a -5 on the Bluff check.

What I'd do would involve taking a scroll of Shadow Weapon in with me, using it to manifest a greatsword or similarly large weapon that will do the trick, stab the queen to death in her sleep, and then dismiss the spell (essentially getting rid of a big part of the evidence). If somebody catches me afterward, I just babble something about how an assassin with a shadowy sword murdered the queen and if they hurry, they can still catch him. Or something.


Alleran wrote:
FuelDrop wrote:
Hammers are vital for chiseling the gunk out of the bottom of the chamber pot. Nothing else will match that chiseled clean look for expensive china.

I'd call that "unlikely" and give out a -5 on the Bluff check.

What I'd do would involve taking a scroll of Shadow Weapon in with me, using it to manifest a greatsword or similarly large weapon that will do the trick, stab the queen to death in her sleep, and then dismiss the spell (essentially getting rid of a big part of the evidence). If somebody catches me afterward, I just babble something about how an assassin with a shadowy sword murdered the queen and if they hurry, they can still catch him. Or something.

I rather like this approach, nothing but the truth, though it would seem you'd be covered in blood in a room with only one entrance and exit... not that that's a particular problem for some classes.


Pendagast wrote:
she wanted something fixed right now… with a hammer, while she was sleeping, by the maid, who told the guards she went in there to clean the chamber pot…. with a hammer.

*Rolls a 20 on the bluff check with a +20 Bonus*

"Sounds perfectly reasonable to me."

As for what a head popping sounds like, I imagine something like this: WARNING; may contain material unsuitable for some audiences.


The Indescribable wrote:
Alleran wrote:
FuelDrop wrote:
Hammers are vital for chiseling the gunk out of the bottom of the chamber pot. Nothing else will match that chiseled clean look for expensive china.

I'd call that "unlikely" and give out a -5 on the Bluff check.

What I'd do would involve taking a scroll of Shadow Weapon in with me, using it to manifest a greatsword or similarly large weapon that will do the trick, stab the queen to death in her sleep, and then dismiss the spell (essentially getting rid of a big part of the evidence). If somebody catches me afterward, I just babble something about how an assassin with a shadowy sword murdered the queen and if they hurry, they can still catch him. Or something.

I rather like this approach, nothing but the truth, though it would seem you'd be covered in blood in a room with only one entrance and exit... not that that's a particular problem for some classes.

Prestidigitation- Because Life (and other People's deaths) is all about the little things.

As I mentioned in the assassination thread up right now- prestidigitation solves a lot of the small but vital details important for assassins and serial killers.

-Cleans up blood
-Can soil things...presumably with that same blood from before- perfect for framing people
-Can change the taste of food and drink in order to hide less subtle but highly effective poisons.
-Can heat or cool 1 lb of nonliving matter- leave a 'warm' finger laying about in order to make investigators think that the victim was alive just a while ago. Perfect for alibis.
-Change the color of clothes. This is useful for quick disguises
-And much, much more!

And the part I love is that anyone can get this spell using the trifler trait, which gives it 3/day. And since the spell lasts for an hour, that is actually relevant. Heck, since it is an SLA, it is better than the regular cantrip in some ways since it lacks verbal and somatic components.

Also- I would have used a shadow pick instead of a great sword. Because A.)X4 crit for the coup de grace and B.) Because it retains the same WTF of a hammer assassination.


Yes, i saw this in the assassin thread, that said, it rather sounds like they rushed right in, no chance to clean the blood up.


The hammer was in a supply bag that also contained walnuts. If they had searched me, that would've been my excuse. They didn't search me though, because I have a 22 bonus on bluff and the ability that lets you re-roll once a day. Even if they had taken away my weapons though, I was a tiefling, so I could've just bitten her throat out and gotten the extra strength and power attack bonuses from only having one natural attack.

As far as escaping goes, there's political unrest now that the queen is dead, and anyone who wants to be in charge has a proven assassin at their disposal. The captain of the guard is probably going to break me out so that I can kill the council that stepped up in the queens place.

Also, I'd have used a dagger, but I wanted the extra crit, strength and power attack damage from the hammer for the coup de grace.


Froth Maw wrote:

The hammer was in a supply bag that also contained walnuts. If they had searched me, that would've been my excuse. They didn't search me though, because I have a 22 bonus on bluff and the ability that lets you re-roll once a day. Even if they had taken away my weapons though, I was a tiefling, so I could've just bitten her throat out and gotten the extra strength and power attack bonuses from only having one natural attack.

As far as escaping goes, there's political unrest now that the queen is dead, and anyone who wants to be in charge has a proven assassin at their disposal. The captain of the guard is probably going to break me out so that I can kill the council that stepped up in the queens place.

Also, I'd have used a dagger, but I wanted the extra crit, strength and power attack damage from the hammer for the coup de grace.

Ok now I want a video of you doing ANYThing with walnuts with a hammer THAT size… anything other than obliterating them that is.


Pendagast wrote:
Froth Maw wrote:

The hammer was in a supply bag that also contained walnuts. If they had searched me, that would've been my excuse. They didn't search me though, because I have a 22 bonus on bluff and the ability that lets you re-roll once a day. Even if they had taken away my weapons though, I was a tiefling, so I could've just bitten her throat out and gotten the extra strength and power attack bonuses from only having one natural attack.

As far as escaping goes, there's political unrest now that the queen is dead, and anyone who wants to be in charge has a proven assassin at their disposal. The captain of the guard is probably going to break me out so that I can kill the council that stepped up in the queens place.

Also, I'd have used a dagger, but I wanted the extra crit, strength and power attack damage from the hammer for the coup de grace.

Ok now I want a video of you doing ANYThing with walnuts with a hammer THAT size… anything other than obliterating them that is.

If I remember, this was an elf queen in the original thread, right?

I am not saying nothing about elves specifically, but I would imagine that any guard that routinely has to deal with nobles would likely be used to unreasonable demands.

Again, sometimes, the Queen asks for things NOW, and damn the logistical problems. What does she care if it is not the right kind of hammer for her midnight snack. Just deal with it.

...although yes, the fact that this hammer was large enough to 2 hand might be at least a bit troubling. How did you even conceal that thing? Even I am stretched if you try to get me to bull some excuse for something like that. Surprise renovation?

Well, at the very least, you could fake desperation and incompetence to give a non-suspicious reason for 'why do you have a huge hammer?'. Whether they stop you, for your own good with the honest intention of helping you, is another matter.


Well, when all you have is a hammer everything looks like a walnut.


Light hammer is pretty small. Still does 3x crit.

But I'm only guessing. I would have tried to beg, borrow, or steal a heavy pick with Shrink Item on it, (or just used a lot of poison) and the same nonsense excuse, but really even a rock works with coup de grace with sneak attack.

Less convincing is the planned escape. Kings and those who would be king don't *like* assassins, even if they use them. If you could kill one queen you could kill two, and they'd rather not lose their head to you. Even if they decided to use you, first would be the beatings, torture, (and depending on the adult content/realism rating, rape) in the dungeon followed by magical mind-control or similar lock-downs (Mark of Justice is a popular one) and the most logical conclusion the captain would have is still, "prove your power and justice by bringing out and executing the assassin." Even if he does it AFTER using you. And escaping is hard when your gear's been stolen and you've been beaten so badly you have ability damage.

Honestly, I'm surprised you weren't just killed outright by the guards themselves. My first thought as a dumb guard who might get executed for failing in his duty is, "I better prove my worth by killing this mofo, presenting his/her head to the captain, and begging for my life."


can't use a light hammer two handed, to my knowledge.

so were looking at mjolnir here, to crack some walnuts.


The hammer was the one handed war hammer, which can be used with two hands. Since appearances can vary, It looked fairly unassuming and non-warlike even though it still had the necessary dimensions to do warhammer damage. I've always imagined the dimensions to be like a framing hammer, which pushes the weight limit for a one handed implement, but could still be tucked away diagonally in a satchel.

And you don't have to hit everything as hard as you can with a hammer? Choke up on it, give the walnut a tap and there you have it. The weight of it makes it an effort free walnut opener. I could open a walnut with a 16 lb sledge if I felt like it.

The guards kept me alive so they could torture me, and the captain of the guard is really stupid. It's pretty much conformed within the story that I'm getting broken out at this point.


Froth Maw wrote:

The hammer was the one handed war hammer, which can be used with two hands. Since appearances can vary, It looked fairly unassuming and non-warlike even though it still had the necessary dimensions to do warhammer damage. I've always imagined the dimensions to be like a framing hammer, which pushes the weight limit for a one handed implement, but could still be tucked away diagonally in a satchel.

And you don't have to hit everything as hard as you can with a hammer? Choke up on it, give the walnut a tap and there you have it. The weight of it makes it an effort free walnut opener. I could open a walnut with a 16 lb sledge if I felt like it.

The guards kept me alive so they could torture me, and the captain of the guard is really stupid. It's pretty much conformed within the story that I'm getting broken out at this point.

Thors hammer is the quintessential WARHAMMER, however you can have the war hammer be the framing hammer appearance (hammer in front, spike to the rear) although that is more often the form a light hammer takes.


Shrink Item is ideal for this kind of situation.


boring7 wrote:
Honestly, I'm surprised you weren't just killed outright by the guards themselves. My first thought as a dumb guard who might get executed for failing in his duty is, "I better prove my worth by killing this mofo, presenting his/her head to the captain, and begging for my life."

At the very least, I would have personally seen to the fact that their knee caps were not in proper order.

I mean, there is a large warhammer RIGHT THERE. Even if they think it was better to rely upon a superior's discretion, there are basic precautions for these kind of things. Ones that are far more reasonable in a world with healing magic.

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