We be Goblins! Table 2 (Inactive)

Game Master Tyranius

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dot in here


Poog set his two toads in front of him. One was flat and dead. The other was "Dogfinder." Both were very lucky. He looked at the other goblins around him, confident of his own superiority.

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we will start once everyone dots in


Chuffy sits down in a chair and leans back. With the pinky of his left hand, he digs in his ear for a few minutes. He removes the pinky and examines it. Then he sniffs and licks whatever was on his pinky.

After a moment, his face scrunches up and he yells, "Bleccchhh!"

"That not taste as good as it smell," with a shrug of his shoulders.

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There we go 2/4


Female Goblin 1st lvl Fighter

Reta plays with something in her pocket. Looks up at Chuffy and says "Probably better on toast." looks back at pocket a small squeak is heard. Reta yells "QUIET YOU!" and slaps the noisy pocket.

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3/4 almost there


Female Goblin 1st lvl Fighter

With nothing better to do Reta sits down and starts to chew on her toenails.


Where be last stupid goblin, Poog thought. When it come, I punish with fire. And insults.


Female Goblin 1st lvl Fighter

"Fire, did someone say fire." Reta immediately loses interest in her to nails and starts digging thru her pockets.


"Me think maybe last goblin not come. Maybe find new one..."

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Yup I will snag first new one to come. If no one by tomorrow we will continue with beginning until we get someone.


Male Goblin Alchemist 1

Mogmurch walks in looking abashed.

"Sorry I is late. Mogmurch working on big projek! Not notice time to meet."

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You are goblins of the Licktoad tribe, who live deep in Brinestump Marsh, south of the hated man-town called Sandpoint. Once, other goblins tried to burn Sandpoint down, and they would have been legends if they had succeeded. But they didn’t bring enough fire, and got themselves killed as a result.

Yesterday, your tribe discovered that one of your own had been using forbidden arts and was engaged in one of the greatest of taboos—writing things down. In fact, rumor holds that what he was writing was a history of your tribe! There’s no swifter way to bring about bad luck than stealing words out of your mind by writing them down, and so your tribe had no choice. You branded the goblin’s face with letters to punish him, which is why everyone calls him Scribbleface now, and then you ran him out of town, took all of his stuff, and burned down his hut.

That’s where things got interesting, because before you all burned down his hut, Chief Gutwad found a weird box within the building. Inside was a map and a lot of fireworks—fireworks that immediately came to use in burning the hut down. Then, this morning, Gutwad announced that tonight there would be a feast in order to drive out any lingering bad luck from
Scribbleface’s poor decisions. But perhaps even more exciting, all of you have been secretly invited to meet at Chief Gutwad’s Moot House. Why would the chief want to speak to you? It can only mean that he’s got an important mission for you all... one that the other goblins of the tribe couldn’t pull off. This could be your chance to go down in
Licktoad history!

His Mighty Girthness Chief Rendwattle Gutwad rules Licktoad Village.
By tradition, Chief Gutwad does not speak directly to his subjects. Instead, he employs an advisor through whom he whispers instructions, for Chief Gutwad has convinced his goblins that the words that come out of his mouth are so mighty that they might frighten away all the words in the heads of lesser goblins. Only his duly appointed advisor,
an overdressed, pompous goblin named Slorb can handle the might of the chief ’s words without fainting from fear.

You find yourselves waiting outside the Moot hut for permission to enter.


Male Goblin Alchemist 1

Mogmurch bounced from foot to foot anxiously, his collection of bottles rattling around in the old boot that he used as a belt pouch. "Mogmurch bet Chief Gutwad hear of big projek and pick Mogmurch because he smart! Other goblins so stoopid." he says to no one in particular.


Poog picked up both of his toads and held one to each ear. He nodded in agreement, though with which it was unclear.

"I will tell after Mogmurch say our mission."

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Afer a few moments a high-pitched, nasal voice calls out from the hut. You may enter!

As the party enters the hut they see Chief Gutwad sitting precariously atop the teeter chair. the chief ’s Moot House is a veritable museum of Licktoad heroics— crammed with trophies such as stolen weapons, shiny bits of treasure, and the brine-pickled bodies of dozens of brutally slaughtered small furry animals (mostly dogs).

The nasally goblin points to the dirt ground before the Chief. Sit! It great honor to sit before Chief!

The small goblin clamors his way to the Chiefs side as he is to relay the chiefs words but instead the Chief himself speaks!

“You all be heroes. Each of you. You are best Licktoads but for me. And maybe but for Slorb. That you aren’t fleeing in terror from mighty sound of my voice is all the proof you should need. Yet soon, all Licktoad goblins will know your might, for I have picked you for a
dangerous mission.

“You know about fireworks and map we found in Scribbleface’s hut. Fireworks were fun. But map is more fun. It shows a route to a place near the coast where Scribbleface found fireworks. And it says there are more fireworks there! “I want them for Licktoads. You all go get them tomorrow. Tonight we have big bonfire to burn bad luck away from you, and we play many games. Much fun. Tomorrow you fetch me fireworks. If you meet men, you make them dead. If you meet dogs, you make them dead. If you meet horses, you make them dead. If you meet Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many, you maybe should run. And if you not find fireworks, you not come back or we feed you to Squealy Nord!”

The chief turns his head towards the goblin at his side. Give them map Slorb and get out of house. Slorb digs through a pile of metal and bones and soon produces a crudely draw "map" and hands it to the party as he shoos them from the house. Prepare for bonfire tonight and we take evil away from you.


Male Goblin Alchemist 1

Mogmurch flees the hut and the Chief's presence. Once outside he begins to examine the map, holding it so that all four of them can see it.


Chuffy follows Mogmurch while gleefully singing to himself, "We gots a map! We gots a map! WE GOTS A MAAAAAAAAP!"

He peers over Mogmurch's shoulder to try and read the map.

Chuffy knows common - is there any writing on the map that he would recognize?


Poog looked at the other goblins. It time to tell them, he thought.

Standing as tall as he could, he pulled his two frogs out. One was obviously dead and shriveled. He licked the other.

"I is leader of mission, like Mighty Gutwad say. I hold map!" Poog said, holding out his hand for the map.


Male Goblin Alchemist 1

"Poog is Leader?", shrieks Mogmurch, pulling the map away. "Why Poog is leader? Mighty Chief not say Poog is leader!"

Mogmurch bounces up and down and screams, "Poog is stoopid! Mogmurch is leader, 'cause Mogmurch smart!" He looks at Chuffy and yells, "Chuffy tell stoopid Poog that Mogmurch is leader. Mogmurch has map!"


Goblin Adept 1 | hp 5/5 | AC 14, T 13, FF 12 | Perc +1

Poog's eyes narrowed to slits.

"Poog leader! Poog leader!!!" His melon-like head looked like it was about to pop.

He seemed to regain some measure of control, then said: "I has magic stick," he said. "Magic stick of Not Be Dead."

He brandished some kind of wand-like piece of wood, which had some small runes etched on one end.

"I use stick of Not Be Dead when goblins hurt, and make them not dead. Any who say I leader get wand used; anyone say not leader, never EVER use wand, no matter what!"

Poog held the dead toad up to his left ear. "Yes," he whispered. "Me remember for sure."


Male Goblin Alchemist 1

LOL! I laughed so hard people were coming to my cubicle to see if I was OK.


Goblin Adept 1 | hp 5/5 | AC 14, T 13, FF 12 | Perc +1

Glad you're having fun! Me too! :)


Chuffy's eyes dart back and forth from Poog to Mogmurch. He considers the possibilities. Hmm, it seems that our little band may have already reached an impasse. While I do not care one whit who is the leader, I do prefer to stay alive. Therefore, I must surmise that it is in my best interest of self-preservation to align myself with the cleric Poog. It is indubitably the correct choice.

"Poog is leader! Magic stick of Not Be Dead will keep Chuffy alive for stabby-stabbies!"


Goblin Adept 1 | hp 5/5 | AC 14, T 13, FF 12 | Perc +1

Poog smiled at Chuffy, an ugly and toothy smile that made his head look like a split watermelon. He held the live toad to his right ear and listened.

"Yes, Dogfinder toad. This one can use Not Be Dead. Yes, we burn many things, kills many dogs, and you Not Be Dead!!!" he said to Chuffy.


Male Goblin Alchemist 1

Mogmurch considers the fact that this is a dangerous mission and mentally counts the number of healing potions/extracts he is carrying before bowing to the inevitable..

"Ok, Poog leader... but Mogmurch keep map. Too many things for leader to do. Poog not need to worry about map as well. Mogmurch keep map safe.


Goblin Adept 1 | hp 5/5 | AC 14, T 13, FF 12 | Perc +1

Poog nodded, apparently easily flattered.

"Yes, Mission Leader say Mogmurch keep map. I appoint Mogmurch 'Map Holder' and 'Holder of Maps.'"

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The goblin's toil all afternoon to build the bonfire out of branches, sticks and unburnt timbers taken from the ruins of scribbleface's hut. As night falls, a group of four struggling goblins carry the Teetering Chair (with Chief Gutwad sitting atop it) out to the bonfire. Soon the Chief produces a foot long wooden tube. The chief is handed a torch from a goblin below which he applies to the tube. The chief turns to Slorb and whispers in his ear.

Chief say that this evening for celebration. This bonfire is to ward away the evil spirits that Scribleface brought on Toadlicker Tribe. Tomorrow heroes... Slorb points to the party. Will go out and get treasure for the Chief. With this the chief lights the tub on fire. Within seconds arc of fire erupt from the tube. For each arc of fire that struck the bonefire just as many struck goblins that were just standing by. The goblin hoard erupted into cheers and laughter as the few goblins run around as the flames spread and the bonfire erupted into the sky above.

The bonfire erupting was the signal for the party to get started as the table featured all kinds of good food (snails, fish ad snakes.)The Chief signals his hand and soon a barrel of fermented apple ciders are brought out. Soon most of the goblins are eating the apples and drinking.


Female Goblin 1st lvl Fighter

Reta finally finishes the small creature in her pocket. "Yes yes, all is good." looking at the fire "Ahh... What we do again?"

Sorry for not posting earier. I know what we are doing just RPing Reta.


Goblin Adept 1 | hp 5/5 | AC 14, T 13, FF 12 | Perc +1

Poog enjoyed the celebration and dinner. Obviously, all of it was for his appointment as Mission Leader. He turned to Reta, eager to add another goblin to the list who acknowledged his importance.

"We be proclaiming leader," he said. "Anyone say I leader, I use stick of Not Be Dead when dead, and they Not Be Dead. You agree I leader? After we agree I leader, we find fireworks and make fires."

Poog chewed on a particularly juicy fish head as he waited for a response.


"Oooh! Snailses!" Chuffy squeals with delight as he grabs a handful of snails and begins sucking them out of their shells. "Mmm, I love snailses!"

Chuffy spends the whole dinner eating only snails. Occasionally letting out a loud belch to voice his appreciation. He spies the cider.

"Who wanna make bet I can drink more ciders than any of you smelly lot?" Chuffy asks the others before he drinks a mugful of the stuff.


Female Goblin 1st lvl Fighter

Reta scratches her head and says "If you leader, you use stick, hmm...OK, as long as I get to cut and smash, poke and burn." after hearing a challenge Reta says to Chuffy "Ok, I take challenge, bet favorite pair false teeth. What you bet?"


Goblin Adept 1 | hp 5/5 | AC 14, T 13, FF 12 | Perc +1

Poog put his feet up on the table and his hands behind his head. Apparently he was easily flattered, but very proud of himself.


Male Goblin Alchemist 1

Mogmurch stuffs himself on snails and snake but stays away from the apples. When he hears Reta taking the bet with Chuffy, he turns to watch with interest. Idly, he eats a few more snails and belches loudly in appreciation.

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As the night continues word spreads like wildfire that the four of you are going on the special quest for the Chief. Soon many goblins are excitedly approaching you with common Goblin dares. A few of the dares rise louder than others. Dance with Squealy Nord; Eat a bag of Bull Slugs Real Quick; Hide of get clubbed; The Rusty Earbiter. At the mention of these dares rising into the air the camp suddenly gets quiet. Soon Slorb yells out among the remaining chatter. The Chief say that if heroes complete dares he will give them personal special treasure. This is almost unheard of in the tribe and causes the goblins to go into a frenzy as they draw horse choppers and dogslicer's into the air. More than one goblin gets overly excited and jumps from the roof of a hut only to break most if his bones while a few others fall into rain barrels and drown as they are unable to get out. Soon the crowd is chanting for the heroes as the dares have been called out.


Goblin Adept 1 | hp 5/5 | AC 14, T 13, FF 12 | Perc +1

Poog stood at attention as the raucous crowd cheered. He knew what he had to do.

"Only one can ride Squealy! I be master of most holy mounted combat! I dance with Squealy Nord!!!"

"Now every goblin see," he whispered to the dead toad. "Now they all see."


Female Goblin 1st lvl Fighter

Reta now slightly inebriated yells "I will Eat a bag of Bull Slugs Real Quick!"


Male Goblin Alchemist 1

Mogmurch, getting into the spirit, screams out, "Hide of get clubbed! Hide of get clubbed!"


Chuffy swallows the last handful of snails and looks up. I suppose I'll participate in The Rusty Earbiter I suppose.

"Ha-ha! You others is nuttin' but weaklings! I will take on The Rusty Earbiter!"

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Poog is drug away toa circular pit. What Poog has observed of Squealy Nord is that he is a fearsome boar who lives in a muddy pit in the middle of the village near the goblin baby cages. The goblin hoard believes and is frightened that squealy Nord consumes goblin corpses. Poog climbs onto the tethered piglets back as a goblin suddenly thrusts down a dogslicer on the rope caused Squealy Nord to go absolutely bersek and run into the circular pit.

This dare requires 3 DC 15 Ride checks so you must stay on him for 18 seconds. If you fail you are thrown off in humiliation and take 1d3 damage unless you make a DC 10 reflex save.

A large basket full of slugs are suddenly thrust in front of Rita. Bull slugs are black, wriggling slugs the size of sausages. Even among the goblings they are considered foul-tasting and because of the large amounts of slime they excude, difficult to chew. The slugs, when eaten, wriggle, taste of rotten fish and burst with a squeel when chewed.

You have 1 minute to eat 5 slugs. You choose either a DC 15 Fort save or a DC 10 Fort save (if you decide to not spit out the bladder sac). Let me know if you decide to do a DC 10. So you make 10 total saves and if you get 5 good saves you win the dare. If you choose to do a DC 10 Fort save then at the end you must make 1 final DC 15 Fort save with a -1 modifier for each DC 10 fort save you chose to take or be Nauseated for 24 hours.

Mogmurch watches a goblin suddenly take off into the woods. A few moments pass as a small group of goblins suddenly press him towards the woods as they hand him a club. [b]Go.. Go if you finds him you gets to club him.

GM Roll: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (17) + 2 = 19
GM roll 2: 1d10 ⇒ 2

Perception check to see if you can find him and if you are searching in the right area.

Chuffy is suddenly grasped as multiple goblins come rushing around a corner carrying a large coil of metal containing multiple goblin ears rotting as they are attached to the metal barbs. The large coil looks to be a hollow coil or rusty wires, barrel hoops, bent swords and thorny branches and vines. Quite a few goblins of the tribe seem very fascinated while other seem quite fearful of the contraption. Most if not all of the six goblins that helped unwind this contraption are bleeding from multiple gashes and slashed hands.

You must climb into the beginning of this 20 foot long deathtrap and wriggle your way through it. I need three successful DC 15 escape artist checks. Each failure must be repeated before moving onto the next one. each failure is 1d4-2 damage with a result of less than 1 being zero damage


Female Goblin 1st lvl Fighter

Reta laughs at the future squealing. For the first one I will spit out the bladder sac.

Fort save: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (5) + 4 = 9
Failure. So i try again spiting out the bladder sac.
Fort save: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (19) + 4 = 23
Success. So I try the second one spiting out the bladder sac.
Fort save: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (10) + 4 = 14
Failure. So i try again spiting out the bladder sac.
Fort save: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (9) + 4 = 13
Failure. So i try again spiting out the bladder sac.
Fort save: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (19) + 4 = 23
Success. So I try the third one swallowing the bladder sac.
Fort save: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (5) + 4 = 9
Failure. So i try again swallowing the bladder sac.
Fort save: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (20) + 4 = 24
Success. So I try the fourth one swallowing the bladder sac.
Fort save: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (16) + 4 = 20
Success. So I try the fifth one swallowing the bladder sac.
Fort save: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (20) + 4 = 24
Success. So I try the final save. I swallowed three bladder sacs. For a total of -3
Fort save: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5


Female Goblin 1st lvl Fighter

Reta chokes down the last slug and immediately feels sick. She raises her fist in a halfhearted fist pump. "Blek, I eat all icky nasty slugs. Me win."


Chuffy claps his hands together and stretches, trying to limber up before facing the deathtrap. "You all watch as Chuffy does the not possible!"

He jumps in and starts wiggling his way through the contraption.

Escape Artist: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (4) + 8 = 12
Damage: 1d4 - 2 ⇒ (2) - 2 = 0
Chuffy gets a bit stuck, but avoids slicing himself.

Escape Artist: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (3) + 8 = 11
Damage: 1d4 - 2 ⇒ (2) - 2 = 0
Boy, he really gets stuck, but manages to avoid cutting himself again.

Escape Artist: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (2) + 8 = 10
Damage: 1d4 - 2 ⇒ (1) - 2 = -1
...and again.

Escape Artist: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (14) + 8 = 22
He finally moves forward!

Escape Artist: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (10) + 8 = 18
"Ha-ha! This so easy!"

Escape Artist: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (11) + 8 = 19

Chuffy finally wiggles out the far end of the deadly contraption. Despite getting stuck early on, he has managed to crawl his way through completely unscathed.

"Chuffy shows the Earbiter who is the boss! Well, except for the Chief... he the real boss."


Female Goblin 1st lvl Fighter

Reta would applaud but is to busy regurgitating her slugs and cider. I looked up the nauseated condition, and fear Reta will be only able to follow the others.


Male Goblin Alchemist 1

Mogmurch hefts the club confidently and heads to the woods, looking for the other goblin's tracks. substituting tracking for general perception to find the other goblin

Survival(Tracking): 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (18) + 3 = 21 Assumed DC=19 (15 base for firm ground, +1 for small target, +3 for moonlight)

Having found the tracks, Mogmurch trails the goblin to his hiding spot and begins to beat him senseless with the club. Having achieved his end, Mogmurch drags the goblin back to the festivities and proclaims "Mogmurch find and he get clubbed! Mogmurch win!"

I know I made a lot of assumptions. Feel free to change if needed.

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As Reta chocks on and finally swallows all of the slugs she forgets to spit out a couple of the vile bladder slime sacs which causes he stomach to feel horrible.

Chuffy slides into the Rusty Earbiter and starts to squirm his way through as he gets stuck in the very beginning. A few of the onlookers become bored and begin to heave rocks and glass at him to help speed him along. After a moment Chuffy breaks free and easily navigates the rest of the tunnel with little more than torn clothing.

Mogmurch darts into the woods after the squeeling gobbling and finds the gobbling cowering between some rocks. Upon finding the goblin Mogmurch slams the club over the little goblins head to show that he is superior and has won the dare.

When the three goblins return from the dare the Chief is seen smiling and whispering into Slorb's ear. Ah three of the four return so far and all three won their dares. As the chief say earlier winner take big prize. Reta you take the chief's very own Gorge of Gluttons (a +1 dogslicer that functions as a bane weapon when utilized against horses (improving to a +3 dogslicer that inflicts an additional 2d6 points of
damage on a successful hit
.
Slorb says as he hands her the dogslicer.

Chuffy get chief's best item. Chuffy get Chief's Personal Very Useful Robe that is Useful. Robe of Useful items that has only four patches left.- a ladder, a three legged turtle, a horseshoe and a bullhorn The Chief's removes his robe and hands it directly to Chuffy.

Young Mogmurch get special ring. You get mystical ring that lets you climb real good. Ring of Climbing. These are all Chief's prizes. When you return you give Chief back his treasure of heads will roll.

Poog is stil Dancing with Nord.


Goblin Adept 1 | hp 5/5 | AC 14, T 13, FF 12 | Perc +1

Poog knew it was his turn to prove himself. Squealy Nord...now I show who is most holy combat master.

He cast guidance as preparation for his ride, then held "Dogfinder" to his right ear, and said "Let's do this thing!" Approaching the boar, Poog tried to vault onto his back.

ride: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (8) + 5 = 13


Goblin Adept 1 | hp 5/5 | AC 14, T 13, FF 12 | Perc +1

However, the slick pig was too quick, and Poog fell into the mud, unharmed.

reflex save: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (19) + 2 = 21

Determined to try again, he once again vaulted onto the pig's back.

ride: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (14) + 4 = 18

This time, success! Until the running pig once again threw him off.

ride: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (1) + 4 = 5

reflex: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (6) + 2 = 8
dmg: 1d3 ⇒ 3

With a mouthful of mud, Poog stood up again. Not willing to let the pig have the better of him, he jumped onto its back again!

ride: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (15) + 4 = 19

Again, he rode for a short period of time!

ride: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (15) + 4 = 19

And he kept going! It didn't say the 3 ride checks had to be consecutive, so I guess he'll just get off...

He attempted a glorious dismount, suitable for a Mission Leader and master of most holy mounted combat!

ride: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (5) + 4 = 9

But fell into the mud on his dismount! Standing again, a broad smile cracked his face, which was caked with thick mud.

"Me dance with Squealy Nord! Me master of most holy mounted combat!"


Female Goblin 1st lvl Fighter

"Yah, you good rider of Squealy Nord." She turned her head and heaves up another slug. "We all big hero's. But I go to bed now. My tummies all grumbly." She stumbles off holding with pride her prize, and weakly singing her song.

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