Need feedback for Homebrewed Artifact


Homebrew and House Rules


I'm planning a campaign where an artifact plays a central role in the story. The gist is that the story is set in a nation embroiled in civil war among various lords vying for power. Before the civil war they would all unite their pieces of this artifact to name one of their own as the Ruler of the nation, but now said ruler has been unable to put a stop to the various lord's warmongering.

The goal of this campaign is for the PCs to restore one of the Lords to power after they were defeated, but their shard of the artifact had not been claimed. So my goal is to try and create an artifact that has enticing power even in its shards, but whose main component isn't so overbearingly powerful that the ruler could just end the civil war easily. So some feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Heart of the Nation:
Level 25
[Unique] [Arcane] [Artifact] [Invested]
This brilliant pink gemstone is shaped like a teardrop as large as a human head. Anyone who has invested the Heart of the Nation can create seemingly limitless spheroid Shards of the Nation, with the only apparent effect being that the Heart of the Nation's size is reduced so that it fits in the palm of a person’s hand. The Heart of the Nation can only be invested when all of its shards are reunited with the Heart of the Nation within the Nation's borders. This investiture is permanent until invested by another individual. The Heart of the Nation does not count against the normal limit for invested magical items.

The Heart of the Nation grants a +2 item bonus to all charisma-based skill checks, this bonus increases to +4 for checks used on citizens of the Nation. The Heart of the Nation is inextricably tied to the land of the Nation and any who leave the Nation with it will find themselves drawn back to the Nation, as though the gem itself is attempting to return to the Nation.

Activate-Convene Council 10 minutes (concentrate, mental, sleep) Frequency once per day; Effect You call upon all those who possess a Shard of the Nation to convene for council. You and all those invested in a Shard of the Nation may choose to sleep and gain the effects of Dream Council. The effect lasts for 8 hours or until all subjects wake up.

Activate-Ruler’s Charisma 1 Hour (concentrate, emotion, incapacitation, mental, subtle) Frequency once per day; Effect You affect the hearts of a huge number of targets. This functions as a 10th-rank Charm, but with a range of 1 mile, no critical failure result, and able to affect any number of targets. Targets who see the caster after the spell is complete find the caster to be charming and likable. The Will save to resist this spell is usually DC 48, but the Nation's citizens must instead roll against DC 50. Anyone in possession of a Shard of the Nation is immune to this effect.

Destruction If a foreign invader conquers The Nation and chooses not to claim the Heart of The Nation as the spoils of war, the Heart of the Nation will turn into worthless and powerless stone.


Shard of The Nation:
Level 20
[Rare] [Arcane] [Artifact] [Invested]
Resembling a brilliant pink spheroid that one can clench in their fist, a Shard of the Nation can only be invested within the borders of the Nation, and only if the one who has currently invested the Shard of the Nation is dead, or if they willingly bequeath their Shard of the Nation. This investiture is permanent until invested by another individual. A Shard of the Nation does not count against the normal limit for invested magical items.

The Heart of the Nation grants a +2 item bonus to all charisma-based skill checks. The Shards of the Nation are inextricably tied to the land of the Nation and any who leave the Nation with it will find themselves drawn back to the Nation, as though the shard itself is attempting to return to the Nation.

Activate-Lord’s Charisma 1 Hour (concentrate, emotion, incapacitation, mental, subtle) Frequency once per day; Effect You affect the hearts of a huge number of targets. This functions as an 8th-rank Charm, but with a range of 1 mile, no critical failure result, and able to affect any number of targets. Targets who see the caster after the spell is complete find the caster to be charming and likable. The Will save to resist this spell is usually DC 43, but citizens of the associated Lord's lands must instead roll against DC 45. Anyone in possession of a Shard of the Nation is immune to this effect.

Destruction If the Heart of the nation is destroyed, all extant Shards of the Nation become worthless stones.


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Typically when it comes to "campaign-defining artifacts" I would say that it really only should do what you need it to do. Like, need a Macguffin that will end the world? Boom, an artifact that calls forth earthquakes exists and now it must be destroyed.

But looking at this, I can't exactly wrap my head around what its purpose is. Like, okay, the holder of the Heart of the Nation can essentially use it to influence people easily, moreso for those in the land. I think I like that, but I would use that more for "Make An Impression" specifically than a flat bonus to everything. That or just have people of the nation treat you as one step more friendly. I enjoy the calling of the council as well!

But then we get to the Ruler's Charisma/Lord's Charisma. These feel... huh. These feel very weird. Mechanics aside for a moment, this is a mile-wide, target as many people as I'd like with, essentially, a form of mind control? If the point of the artifact is that it's an evil thing and shouldn't fall into the hands of wicked rulers, then yeah, I'm all for this. This feels like "Lord Rulerman holds the Heart and none can hate him. His uses his power to massage his ego and drive his citizens to death through overwork/whathaveyou." I think that's a pretty decent idea, actually, but not sure if that's what you're going for. I mean, it also just works on everyone regardless of their nationality and within a mile and lasts for a full day. It's pretty darn strong, which makes sense for a level 25 artifact, but morally very dubious and potentially too powerful in an unfun way.

Then we get the the shards. So when it comes to these things, I don't assume that they'll be in the hands of level 18th or 19th level characters, but something that's a part of the campaign fairly early. I probably need more information on it, but wouldn't the goal of these to be put into the hands of those loyal to the holder of the Heart? And my assumption is these are the PCs? This feels... way too powerful and, like I said, not really interactive. "We're going to storm this fort? Give me an hour and charm everyone within. At most they'll be Unfriendly and we'll just talk our way through until they give in."

Out of curiosity, what role do these items play in your campaign?


Ruzza wrote:

Typically when it comes to "campaign-defining artifacts" I would say that it really only should do what you need it to do. Like, need a Macguffin that will end the world? Boom, an artifact that calls forth earthquakes exists and now it must be destroyed.

But looking at this, I can't exactly wrap my head around what its purpose is. Like, okay, the holder of the Heart of the Nation can essentially use it to influence people easily, moreso for those in the land. I think I like that, but I would use that more for "Make An Impression" specifically than a flat bonus to everything. That or just have people of the nation treat you as one step more friendly. I enjoy the calling of the council as well!

Thank you for your feedback, I hope I can answer some of your question. The artifact's creator intended to unite the fractious clan heads and unite them into a single nation, to that end they created the Heart and shards, with its various investiture restrictions, with the intention of fostering cooperation among the newly minted Lords; ie, a convenient way to convene council, uniting the shards to declare a new ruler, stealing the shards wouldn't help if the prior investor is still alive. The creator also envisioned the charming power being used to rally support in times of emergency for the nation, but made shard carriers immune to prevent anyone from using the magic of the heart/shards from influencing the election of a new sovereign.

Of course the current civil war shows that the creator was too idealistic still as now the lords have fallen into trying to kill each other for their shards and rallying their civilians for war against each other rather than a hostile power. The ruler's greater power to charm others within a mile has prevented anyone from straight up trying to overthrow the ruler, for now, but it hasn't been enough to truly curb the civil war since that would risk traveling to each domain and suddenly becoming vulnerable.

tl;dr of that explanation, the creator of the Heart had good intentions in creating a tool of rule, but ultimately failed to consider that so many lords would resort to force of arms all over again. I hope that makes sense but if you have suggestions on how the artifact may better reflect that I'm open to suggestions.

Ruzza wrote:
But then we get to the Ruler's Charisma/Lord's Charisma. These feel... huh. These feel very weird. Mechanics aside for a moment, this is a mile-wide, target as many people as I'd like with, essentially, a form of mind control? If the point of the artifact is that it's an evil thing and shouldn't fall into the hands of wicked rulers, then yeah, I'm all for this. This feels like "Lord Rulerman holds the Heart and none can hate him. His uses his power to massage his ego and drive his citizens to death through overwork/whathaveyou." I think that's a pretty decent idea, actually, but not sure if that's what you're going for. I mean, it also just works on everyone regardless of their nationality and within a mile and lasts for a full day. It's pretty darn strong, which makes sense for a level 25 artifact, but morally very dubious and potentially too powerful in an unfun way.

I was aiming for morally dubious so I'm glad for that at least. For the potentially 'unfun' factor I don't intend for the Heart to even be a factor in the campaign until the very tail end of it; if the PCs want to support the currently well-intentioned but ineffectual ruler than it won't be antagonistic. But if they decide to support someone else, they'll have enough shards that the ruler can't just instantly charm them into compliance. Hopefully side-stepping the 'unfun' bit.

All of that said, I am completely open to something over than Charming as a power of the heart/shards. It fit my criteria of morally dubious and a useful power for a ruler to have, especially since it had the mental trait like the "Call Council" power (glad you like that one!). I'm again open to suggestions.

Ruzza wrote:
Then we get the the shards. So when it comes to these things, I don't assume that they'll be in the hands of level 18th or 19th level characters, but something that's a part of the campaign fairly early. I probably need more information on it, but wouldn't the goal of these to be put into the hands of those loyal to the holder of the Heart? And my assumption is these are the PCs? This feels... way too powerful and, like I said, not really not really interactive. "We're going to storm this fort? Give me an hour and charm everyone within. At most they'll be Unfriendly and we'll just talk our way through until they give in."

I'm hoping to work things out so the PCs become immune to the super-charm effect, but looking at this now that would mean getting their own shards which is... less than ideal until pretty late in the game. I think I need to make a different clause on who is and isn't immune, assuming the super-charm stays. Thank you for highlighting this.

EDIT: Maybe a shard-bearer can either charm a lot of people, or choose to make those same people within that same distance immune to charming effects of 8th rank or lower? The Heart could maybe do the same for 10th rank or lower. Heck maybe the Heart bearer can do both in the same day?


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Alrighty - let's see. First, super glad to hear that "morally dubious" was part of the goal! It sounds like the artifacts aren't really things that the PCs will interact with too much, which does mean that a lot of the design of the artifact doesn't matter as much. But, to sum up, let me take a swing at the goal of the Heart and the Shards:

The Heart of the Nation essentially belongs to the ruler of the nation and compels their people to love them. It also acts as a line of communication between their vassals through the dream council. The Shards act as a minor form of the Heart, compeling others to love them.

I think I'm alright with the Heart having a massive, city-wide charm, if only because it's an interesting plot point and the PCs won't really be interacting with it (unless they have a "Would you kindly...?" moment with the holder of the Heart as a grand reveal, which I am all for). The issue to me comes with the Shards - I just feel like charming part is fairly well covered with the bonus to Charisma checks and their own super charm sort of steps on the toes of what the Heart does as both an item and a plot point? Again, I'm not 100% sure of which direction you'd like to go with the campaign, but it seems like you'd like the Shards to be powerful enough to fight over and not just because of the status (and presumably lordship) it would impart.

My proposal might be a little unusual, but we're spitballing here! Here's a few thoughts:

1. Instead lower the charm range its normal 30 ft and make it unlimited casting as well. Drop it to a 4th level charm so it's single target stil. This means that it's not so effective as to neuter entire invading forces (and defending forces) as a time, but morally wrong as you have a ruler who could essentially just ensorcell politcal rivals and members of the court. Probably good to almost make wielders immune to the charm effects of other Shards.

2. Scrap the charm entirely and instead make the Shard incredibly defensive - something like a permanent sanctuary or animus mine in effect. The idea that the holder of a Shard is untouchable unless approached by someone more powerful or the Shardbearer breaks out into violence is an interesting story.

3. Change out the charm into different enchantments: command, suggestion, telepathic demand, or even crusade make for some interesting choices. The idea here is that the Shardbearer abuses their station to truly control the minds of their people.

I mean, these are just ideas - I feel like a mile-wide charm with an essentially impossible DC doesn't provide much for the PCs to work with, especially if they get caught in it. Then there's a weird "you should roleplay not liking this guy, but not enough to kill him," thing that sort of happens.


To me this just cries out for a Set Relic implementation. Only after the campaign ends does the full relic set get assembled and have campaign-ending powers. During the course of the campaign the shards and even the heart have only limited and level-appropriate abilities.


Ruzza wrote:
I think I'm alright with the Heart having a massive, city-wide charm, if only because it's an interesting plot point and the PCs won't really be interacting with it (unless they have a "Would you kindly...?" moment with the holder of the Heart as a grand reveal, which I am all for). The issue to me comes with the Shards

The shards being too powerful and/or too similar to the Heart is a valid point. I will take this into consideration.

Ruzza wrote:

My proposal might be a little unusual, but we're spitballing here! Here's a few thoughts:

1. Instead lower the charm range its normal 30 ft and make it unlimited casting as well. Drop it to a 4th level charm so it's single target stil. This means that it's not so effective as to neuter entire invading forces (and defending forces) as a time, but morally wrong as you have a ruler who could essentially just ensorcell politcal rivals and members of the court. Probably good to almost make wielders immune to the charm effects of other Shards.

...

3. Change out the charm into different enchantments: command, suggestion, telepathic demand, or even crusade make for some interesting choices. The idea here is that the Shardbearer abuses their station to truly control the minds of their people.

Yeah I like these, I think I will drop the shard's ability to do the super-charm. I'll have to think about which of these I use but I do like these suggestions. Thank you.

Ruzza wrote:
2. Scrap the charm entirely and instead make the Shard incredibly defensive - something like a permanent sanctuary or animus mine in effect. The idea that the holder of a Shard is untouchable unless approached by someone more powerful or the Shardbearer breaks out into violence is an interesting story.

Might be an interesting story but I'm not entirely sure about this one. I'll still consider it.

Ruzza wrote:
I mean, these are just ideas - I feel like a mile-wide charm with an essentially impossible DC doesn't provide much for the PCs to work with, especially if they get caught in it. Then there's a weird "you should roleplay not liking this guy, but not enough to kill him," thing that sort of happens.

Thank you for all the suggestions, they've been a huge help.

Finoan wrote:
To me this just cries out for a Set Relic implementation. Only after the campaign ends does the full relic set get assembled and have campaign-ending powers. During the course of the campaign the shards and even the heart have only limited and level-appropriate abilities.

Eh... the incremental power of relics isn't really appealing when the PC's aren't going to be interacting with the shards directly for most of the story. And I'd rather the ruler keep the powerful artifact without NEEDING the shards since that serves as their bulwark against being completely overthrown.


Sounds great! Hope to hear how things go several months down the line or whathaveyou!

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