Health Condition Spell Game

[Ryze Kuja]

Take any spell and add a comedic health condition or bodily function.

I'll go first.

Mordenkainen's Bulging Discs

Delayed Blast Flatulence

[DungeonmasterCal]

Bigby's Plague Preventing Hand Cleansing

[Mark Hoover 330]

Ray of Frosted Tips

[DungeonmasterCal]

Mark Hoover 330 wrote:

Ray of Frosted Tips

I choked on my own saliva when I read that, dang it. It was made even funnier to me because I'd just had a discussion with a friend about celebrity chef Guy Fieri and how the 1990s are asking for their frosted tips back.

[Mark Hoover 330]

DungeonmasterCal wrote:

Mark Hoover 330 wrote:

Ray of Frosted Tips

I choked on my own saliva when I read that, dang it. It was made even funnier to me because I'd just had a discussion with a friend about celebrity chef Guy Fieri and how the 1990s are asking for their frosted tips back.

Oddly enough, here's another cantrip I was thinking of:

Haunted Flay Aspect

Instead of DR 1/Cold Iron this spell grants a +2 Competence bonus to any Profession: Cook skill check for 1 minute

I didn't comment it b/c it isn't a bodily function.

[Sysryke]

Stumble Tooth Gap

[Pizza Lord]

Invisibility Bubble-butt
Similar to invisibility bubble, this spell affects the 5 foot space immediately behind the touched creature. It renders living creatures (which must be at least one size smaller than the target) within that space invisible. For larger targets, one 5-foot square is selected.

The target may move at half-speed, along with any creatures in the affected space, to allow them to move along with them and remain concealed. Creatures within the space can see each other.

[Ryze Kuja]

lol good stuff gents :P

Emergency Kidney Stone Sphere

Ray of Receding Hairline

Control Irritable Bowel Syndrome

[Pizza Lord]

Arcane Lazy Eye
As arcane eye, but during any round in which the caster does not concentrate, the magical eye has a 20% chance to sort of drift off to one side, moving 10 feet in a random direction and orienting on nothing in particular, requiring the caster to spend 1 full round reorienting the magical sensor to get a view of the surrounding location once more.

Chaos Hammer-toe
As chaos hammer, but instead of slowing targets, any creature taking damage has reduced speed as though affected by caltrops. Unlike normal caltrop damage, magical healing must equal the damage dealt by this spell to restore the target's movement speed (other cures work as normal; waiting 24 hours, a DC 15 Heal check, etc.)

Chaotic creatures and creatures without feet are unaffected by this spell.

Incendia-rrhea Cloud
This hazy cloud of heated gas must appear in an adjacent square to the caster at first, but otherwise moves (and can be controlled) as an incendiary cloud. It doesn't provide concealment, though the shimmering distortion causes a 20% miss chance on attacks into or through it.
Initially, it's effects are equivalent to a stinking cloud on those in its area, but if it contacts any flame, it ignites and functions identically to an incendiary cloud, though it retains its nauseating properties.