I'm curious if other DMs have a standard description you use when describing your gaming style to potential new players. As we all know, there are a ton of different styles of play and a mis-match between players and a particular style can lead to issues. I've forced out a handful of players from my group over the years (and been forced out of one group that I started...but that is a story for another time). For the past decade or so, I've been sending the following text (as part of a much larger intro to the group / house rules / character generation rules document) to potential new players when we've had an opening, and I wondered if others did something similar. Bear in mind that my group is remote...primarily eastern seaboard but I've had/have players in different time zones as well. We play over FantasyGrounds and use Skype for voice, which you need to know for purposes of my standard intro: "We are a laid back group primarily consisting of people in their 40s and 50s (eek!), many with kids. We are not rules lawyers, and individuals may have to pop off the call for a few minutes here and there to deal with family tasks. If you want to ask how long the dragon is so you can calculate her hit dice and points, or if you are going to tell me all the ways you never could have been surprised when I say, “Suddenly…”, then this isn’t the group you are looking for. If you want a fun and casual game with some occasional jokes, movie references, and bad puns thrown in then this IS the campaign you’re looking for." I find that this description helps weed out some potential problems...curious if anyone else uses something similar.
Do you consistently use all the rules of the game? If so, say that. If the person then chooses to be a rules lawyer after they join, then you can chat with them about how that might not be a good fit for your campaign. I try not to tell people how they should or shouldn't behave at my games, merely how I will, or the personality types of the other players.
That is a good point...generally we do try to follow the rules with minimal deviation, however part of my Table / House Rules document I share with potential players states the following: In the interest of moving play along, I will sometimes issue an on the spot ruling rather than pause the action to look something up. I reserve the right to change my decision for future situations once I’ve had the opportunity to review the official rules. In other words, a spot decision does not automatically make a rule.
Show them The RPG Social Contract by Seth Skorkowsky and ask them if they understand and can explain it back to you. If they don't understand it or can't explain what it means then likely they won't be a good fit for your group.
Url: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBymJBOjwEc
Honestly, I am a bit of a fan of Seth's, but when I read your intro and the problem it seemed to be describing the RPG Social Contract did pop into my head. So give it a watch and maybe it'll be helpful.
Show them The RPG Social Contract by Seth Skorkowsky and ask them if they understand and can explain it back to you. If they don't understand it or can't explain what it means then likely they won't be a good fit for your group.
Url: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBymJBOjwEc
Honestly, I am a bit of a fan of Seth's, but when I read your intro and the problem it seemed to be describing the RPG Social Contract did pop into my head. So give it a watch and maybe it'll be helpful.
I had not seen that video...it was good to watch. The players I've had to dump before essentially boil down to one type--stopping me (the DM) and/or the other players from having fun. Being excessively argumentative, wanting to stop the game to debate the minutia of a rule, yelling at other players for their character's decisions, whatever...it all boils down to putting the breaks on other people's fun. I especially liked the players helping with food comment...my DM for 1990-1992 (who is now a player in my group) instituted a "Coke tax" as the group kept expecting him to provide the soda for the games. And as a side note, with the age of most of my group and the fact that almost everyone has kids, we're a lot more tolerant of last-minute game night changes or switching nights on different weeks than we were back in college. ;-)
"We are a laid back group primarily consisting of people in their 40s and 50s (eek!), many with kids. We are not rules lawyers, and individuals may have to pop off the call for a few minutes here and there to deal with family tasks. If you want to ask how long the dragon is so you can calculate her hit dice and points, or if you are going to tell me all the ways you never could have been surprised when I say, “Suddenly…”, then this isn’t the group you are looking for. If you want a fun and casual game with some occasional jokes, movie references, and bad puns thrown in then this IS the campaign you’re looking for."
This is something that I've found that it's difficult for a player to judge -- whether the GM has simply forgotten that the player's character has a supernatural sense which prevents her from ever being surprised or whether the GM is just ignoring the rules to highlight the abilities of a new super-cool sneaky NPC.
The other problems seem to spawn from a misunderstanding whether the group is playing The Adventures of Robin Hood, Robin and Marian, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, or Robin Hood: Men in Tights (and picking a concept for the wrong tone).
This is something that I've found that it's difficult for a player to judge -- whether the GM has simply forgotten that the player's character has a supernatural sense which prevents her from ever being surprised or whether the GM is just ignoring the rules to highlight the abilities of a new super-cool sneaky NPC.
And I don't have a problem with a player saying, "Wait! I had a broach of never being surprised! Does that change things?" And I'll either say, "Ooops! Forgot about that!" and adjust the narrative OR I'll say, "Yeah, it doesn't seem to have worked in this instance." As long as in both cases the player says, "Great! Ok!" and we move on then we're all good. It is when I say the second response and I start to get, "Well, the only thing that could suspend that is a helm of broach suppression and they can't be used underground, or an anti-magic field and if that was the case we'd all notice our continual lights stopping so there is NO POSSIBLE WAY it didn't work and I am clearly NOT surprised!"...that is when we start to have a problem. I'm fine with a potential mistake being pointed out, but once the DM has made a decision we all need to move on. The person is always free to argue with me over e-mail after the game, but I don't want to stop the flow to argue over a decision I've made.
I had not seen that video...it was good to watch. The players I've had to dump before essentially boil down to one type--stopping me (the DM) and/or the other players from having fun. Being excessively argumentative, wanting to stop the game to debate the minutia of a rule, yelling at other players for their character's decisions, whatever...it all boils down to putting the breaks on other people's fun. I especially liked the players helping with food comment...my DM for 1990-1992 (who is now a player in my group) instituted a "Coke tax" as the group kept expecting him to provide the soda for the games. And as a side note, with the age of most of my group and the fact that almost everyone has kids, we're a lot more tolerant of last-minute game night changes or switching nights on different weeks than we were back in college. ;-)
Ya his RPG Philosophy and Running RPGs are all very helpful, but all his videos in general are quite helpful and entertaining. If you really liked the food comment you should check out his Five Awesome Player Traits video as well.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhzrNN1zV54&t