SHUT UP!
Perhaps you're just projecting vhat you vant to say to Pat Sajack.
NO HE ISN'T.
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Perhaps you're just projecting vhat you vant to say to Pat Sajack.
Tell me, how does my projection make you feel?
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Like dancing.
{watches back and forth between the Contrarian and the Hamster} Now I'm confused, is this the room for arguments or abuse?
You pays yer money and you takes yer choice.
I'll make NO CHOICE! Ha!
Then stand by, you rotter, and PREPARE FOR WHACKS!
AM SEE BIRTH OF MANY TINY HUMAN CIVILIZATIONS!!
AM NOT IMPRESSED.
Barry, is that how you get ants?
Yes it is, other Barry.
IT probably isn't, if you know what I mean... I don't know, do you know what I mean?
SO!! Update! two... WAIT! No, Three! new aliases!
I HAVE ARRIVED!!
Well, I was already here, I just got a new look is all...
I'm here also!
I'm here to eat pie and help Lord High Inquisitor out!
Mostly just eat pie though.
Inspired by the alias that Cap. had on a thread recently...
also, I just thought it was funny.
So the buck stops with you?
No, but da does do.
♫♪ "If you choose not to decide
You still have made a choice" ♫♪
I reject your reality and substitute my own!
*proceeds to walk out on street and gets run over by a large truck.*
New alias, coming right up...
Some one rang??
Hah! You thought it'd be a zombie hamster alias didn't you?
*looks up... D'oh!!*
I'll take care of this!
Will you?
Will you Captain Ash Yesterday?
I'll stat it tomorrow. Should be something like Cr 8 or so...
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I have birds in my beard!
Did someone make an FAQ about Zombie Goblin Kids?
Pfft...
That'll never happen.I mean why bother? It isn't like there's a Goblinkid zombie or anything.
I like beans.
What kind?
The beany kind.
I like them as long as they don't have beans in them.
WHAT!?
I don't know you.
I like them as long as they don't have beans in them.
Fanatic!
Confine this heathen in the Pit Of Great Beans, and there let him lie until he is suitably repentant!
SIR! Yes SIR!
A large cardboard box?
That'll...
Not work...
Sorry dude...
As promised:
Zombie hamster swarm
NE Medium undead (swarm)
Init +4; Senses darkvision 60 ft.; Perception +1
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Defense
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AC 20, touch 14, flat-footed 16 (+4 Dex, +6 natural)
hp 70 (12d8-12)
Fort +3, Ref +8, Will +9
Defensive Abilities dispersion, evasion, split (hp, 35 hp), swarm traits; DR 5/piercing or slashing; Immune undead traits
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Offense
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Speed 30 ft.
Melee swarm (3d6 plus distraction)
Special Attacks distraction (DC 15)
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Statistics
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Str 16, Dex 18, Con —, Int —, Wis 12, Cha 8
Base Atk +9; CMB —; CMD —
SQ zombie hamster fever
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Special Abilities
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Damage Reduction (5/piercing or slashing) You have Damage Reduction against all except Piercing or Slashing attacks.
Darkvision (60 feet) You can see in the dark (black and white only).
Dispersion (Ex) Disperse form to hide in plain sight.
Distraction (DC 15) (Ex) Nauseate foes for 1 rd on failed save. (Fort neg.)
Evasion (Ex) No damage on successful reflex save.
Immunity to Ability Drain Immunity to ability drain
Immunity to Bleed You are immune to bleed.
Immunity to Critical Hits You are immune to Critical Hits
Immunity to Death Effects You are immune to death effects.
Immunity to Disease You are immune to diseases.
Immunity to Energy Drain Immune to energy drain
Immunity to Exhausted You are immune to the exhausted condition.
Immunity to Fatigue You are immune to the fatigued condition.
Immunity to Flanking You are immune to flanking.
Immunity to Mind-Affecting effects You are immune to Mind-Affecting effects.
Immunity to Nonlethal Damage You are immune to Nonlethal Damage
Immunity to Paralysis You are immune to paralysis.
Immunity to Physical Ability Damage Immune to ability damage to your physical abilities.
Immunity to Poison You are immune to poison.
Immunity to Precision Damage You are immune to Precision Damage
Immunity to Sleep You are immune to sleep effects.
Immunity to Staggered Immune to staggered.
Immunity to Stunning You are immune to being stunned.
Split (hp, 35 hp) (Ex) Certain attacks split you into two identical copies.
Swarm Attack (3d6) Deal listed damage to any creature occupying same space at end of move.
Swarm Traits Imm to effects targeting number of creatures (unless mind affect vs. hive mind).
Undead Traits Undead have many immunities.
Zombie Hamster Fever (DC 19) (Ex) Magical Malady; Fortitude save negates, incubation 1d6 days, wound festers, and oozes, causes 1d6 con damage each day the save is failed, two consecutive saves, after the first one is failed will rid the body of the disease.
Shoot... Those things are nasty...
I might not ever use that...
I'm not quite that cruel.