>>Limey answers all his own questions here<<


Off-Topic Discussions


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Q: Why do people put makeup on their ears?

A: 1) So their ears are the same colour as their face is, if they've really been to town with the foundation
2) To conceal unsightly ear-warts
3) What could be more attractive than bright scarlet ears, or Sultry Night-Mist Mauve, or Seafoam Siren Sparkle, if you prefer?


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Q: Are testicles prototype icicles?

A: In most cases, no; in your case, yes.


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Q: On average, how long does it take to comb Pulg?

A: That's not hair - it's seaweed. You don't comb seaweed.

Honestly, some people.


Q: My boyfriend wishes me to love him to the full, but I honestly want to be wedded in white. What should I do?

A: Turn off the light, strap a bra onto a liver sausage, then go off and watch TV. He won't notice.


Q: Where's Raul Vanageim?

A: Trapped in a wardrobe with a carrot.


I giggled for 5 minutes after reading these.


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Q: What's the best word to describe any potential e-book collaboration between Dr. Chuck Tingle and Hannah Wilde?

A: APOCALYPTICO!


Q: How do you fancy Athletico Salterhebble's cup chances this season?

A: Odds-on favourites, I'd say, if they can keep Coomaraswamy and McLeod out of the sluicing denes. Fat chance of that happening, though.


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Q: Why haven't you watched the new Nicki Minaj video yet?

A: AT LAST, A PROPER QUESTION

"Wrist icicle, ride a d!ck bicycle"

Well done Nicki. Well done


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Q: Which is more frightening - a Face Snatcher or a Snatch Facer?

A: Depends which way up you are.


was it in his own mind to answer these kinds of questions?


Q: Whose mind?

A: Phil Collins'


Quite right.

Phil Collins is omnipresent

Phil Collins is omniscient.

You do not exist outside the dreams of Phil Collins, and were he to stop imagining you, and all you do, for a mere second, you would blink out entirely, and it would be as if you had never been at all.

So there.


Q: So you do still have all your potentially detachable parts after playing with sharp blades yesterday?

A: Surprisingly, yes


Q: Should we be worried that a man with at least one sword for every appendage is talking to himself on the internet.

A: Not unless you're on infowars.com.


Q: Have you been watching DxD High School?

A: Yes. Seriously, how does she manage to stand up straight?

Q: I ask the questions around here, but since you ask, it's a cartoon. The normal rules of physics do not apply.

A: Yeah, but how...

Q: THERE ARE MASSIVES BOOBS. LOOK AT THE MASSIVES BOOBS. ENJOY THE REDHEAD WITH MASSIVES BOOBS

A: But I still don't see *how*....

Q: FINE! HAVE IT YOUR OWN WAY! TURN IT OFF AND WATCH 'XENA' INSTEAD! MAYBE THAT'LL BE 'REALISTIC' ENOUGH FOR YOU!

A: Good plan!

*klik*


Q: What is your topmost favouritist way to spend a Sunday afternoon?

A: Not doing five hours of spellchecking; I'll tell you that for nowt.

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