Meanwhile, down at the Boar 'n Oysters....

[Dicky Serpico]

read everything in a thick Chicago accent

A smoke stained wood room with a large bar tended by one man stand along the far wall. Various posters, flags, firearms, and other memorabilia hang on the walls. Several kegs of various ales line the wall behind the bar. An oven with a flat iron top gives off an aroma of spicy sausage. There is a tank of water filled with oysters at one end of the bar.

Curiously, an intricate mosaic of Sarenrae adorns the wall over the kegs.

A medium height man with a thick mustache wipes down the bar top. His apron is immaculate.

Hey! welcome to Dicky Serpico's Boar 'n Oysters bar. This here is the official bar for Pathfinder Society's SWAT members. If you've tried the rest, send in the best.

Anyway, I serve beer, peanuts, popped corn with several seasonings available, and oysters: either fresh or what I like to call "Serpico Style" which involves adding some spicy sausage and a little breadcrumbs with grated hard cheese on top before firing them up. They come out hot and delicious. You oughta try 'em.

As I said, this here is a cop bar. Any member of Absalom's finest is welcome to hang their helmet, kick back, relax, and have a few before going home to the family. So if you got a problem with cops, then I got a problem with you.

Hey! it's the Thunders! Lips and Cock! What can I do for you boys?

[THUNDERLIPS!]

Just the usual Dicky. You know how it is.

[THUNDERCOCK!]

SQUACK!

[Ri'chard Beckett]

Hey Dicky, your oysters taste like s%&* and you water down the beer too much.

[Dicky Serpico]

Uh huh. Uh huh. I sure do. You looking for a liter and some oysters Serpico?

[Dicky Serpico]

Hey! Ri'chard! Judging by the men I see you with you ain't the one to talk about taste!

[Dicky Serpico]

Anyway there- yeah I got yer chicken chair, THUNDERCOCK!, quit yer squawking. You want some corn? Yeah? What seasoning you looking for? Regular Absalom blend or you in the mood for the Hot and Spicy Dralneen mix?

[THUNDERCOCK!]

SQUAAAAAAAAAK!

[Ri'chard Beckett]

I'll take a Boilermaker, and not with any of that crap from Taldor or Cheliax. Make it Dwarven both ways.

[Dicky Serpico]

Hot and spicy it is!

[Dicky Serpico]

Hey Ri'chard, is that what your mom said?

[THUNDERLIPS!]

HAAAARRRRRRR!

[Ri'chard Beckett]

Yo Dicky, you wish you could have the men I'm with. Quit being so jealous.

[Burngar Rockhard]

Did somebody mention a Dwarf both ways? I'm available!

[Dicky Serpico]

Yeah yeah yeah.... You looking for oysters there?

[Dicky Serpico]

Dicky looks under the counter for the Dwarven Fire Water. Locating a sufficiently vile brand, he fills a mug half way with ale before pouring in the Fire Water.

Here you are, Ri'chard. How things going?

[Dicky Serpico]

Burngar! Long time no see! What can I get ya? Ale? Some oysters?

[Ri'chard Beckett]

Well, found a body down in the puddles yesterday all burned and soupy. Swear the bloated mess looked like Torch, he was even swimmin' in the pool like you'd expect him to. When CSI arrived, he almost exploded from the gasses built up inside.

Ri'chard shoves a pickled egg in her mouth.

Turns out, it's a nothing but your typical problem of poor diet, fire sorcery, and a little jealousy thrown in for good measure.

I swear you guys on the beat have it easy.

[Burngar Rockhard]

Appletini, straight up, and a little sugar on the rim. Awwww yeah...

[THUNDERCOCK!]

SQUAWK?

[Dicky Serpico]

It's alright there, THUNDERCOCK!, I keep a little pre-mixed batch for Mr. Rockhard. Another one dere, THUNDERLIPS!?

Oof. Glad I didn't get called in for that one, Ri'chard. That would have done a circus number on my innards.

[THUNDERLIPS!]

Yes, please. sigh

[Dicky Serpico]

Why the long face there, buddy? everything going ok on the home front?

[Burngar Rockhard]

Burngar walks over to the bard, peruses the song list, throws in a couple coppers, and requests YMCA.

[THUNDERLIPS!]

Man, I'm getting a lot of grief from the Blakroses. I tell ya, if it isn't "When you gonna put a ring on this finger?" it's "Have you got that castle clean yet?" And then my long ship was stolen. I swear I locked it up before we went into the mead hall.

[Dicky Serpico]

What! Some dirtbag stole yer long ship? They ever find the guy?

[Ethan Snide]

Ethan takes one step inside, raises his hand like he's going to order a drink, realizes the folly of this course of action, shakes his head, and leaves.

[Dicky Serpico]

Get outta here! I told that dirtbag Snide to take his high and mightiness elsewhere. Ain't got time for that, no sir.

[Dicky Serpico]

Everyone shakes their heads in agreement.

[Detective Dixon Hill]

A man in full dress blues and white gloves walks in the door, gives a quick nod to Dicky, and steps behind the bar.

"Dicky - where's the all spice man?" Dix' starts whipping up a couple strange concoctions.

[Dicky Serpico]

Hey! Pipe down, Dix! I got a shipment coming in next week. I met a guy who knows a guy who saw some fall off the back of a wagon, know what I mean.

[Dicky Serpico]

Oh! you mean all spice! Haha, good one dere Dix!

nervous laughter

[Rowlan Chire]

A fit halfling in the full regalia of an Eagle Knight steps in.

HELLO MY FRIENDS! I heard the grand opening was nigh! I cannot tell you how happy I am that there's such an exquisite watering hole in my neck of the woods! I dub thee, my new temple to Cayden Cailean!

He slams a party ball on the counter.

Fill'er up!

[Dicky Serpico]

Hey there, quarter pint. This here is a Sarenrite establishment. I'll let ya stay, but I don't want any of that rowdy stuff that normally happens at yer temples. As long as we have an understanding.

Dicky fills up the party ball.

[Rowlan Chire]

Rowlan shoves the keg in his pack while downing his entire mug of ale in a single long gulp.

Whatever you insist Serpy my main man, hic.

Say, who here wants, hic, to play some darts!

[Harv Burgleton]

A bead of sweat rolls down Harv Burgleton's forehead as he walks into the establishment. He saunters over to the bar, pulls out a stool, and takes out a coin, tapping it on the bar.

"Ey barkeep--gimme one o them thoses!" He shouts, gesturing towards the tapped kegs.

[Rowlan Chire]

Rowlan walks over to Harv and puts his arm around his shoulder.

A fellow fan, hic, of the good schtuff. Well chosen, hic.

[Detective Dixon Hill]

Dicky Serpico wrote:

Hey! Pipe down, Dix! I got a shipment coming in next week. I met a guy who knows a guy who saw some fall off the back of a wagon, know what I mean.

"You uh, may want to watch that sort of thing... if Rico were around - i'd hate to see 'affairs sniffing around."

With a grin, Dix' sits down with his bubbling scotch concoction.

[Dicky Serpico]

Harv, you old goat, you! Been a long time, here. You want some oysters? Maybe a beer?

[Ri'chard Beckett]

Ri'chard finishes her Boilermaker.

I'll have another. And I think your oysters smell a little too fishy. You sure they're fresh?

[Rowlan Chire]

After his sixth mug of ale, Rowlan looks even more happy than he did when he walked in.

So...hic, I was talkin' to the Colonel the other day. Seems he's miffed at some Pathfinders not listenin' to him lately, hic. I tell ya, hic, if you read the things I did, you'd be angry too!

[Dicky Serpico]

Only the finest oysters are served at the Boar 'n Oysters I will have you know. I know a guy who gets me fresh Arcadian Blues off the coast of some rat hole island up by the Linnorms. I get a few barrels of fresh Katapshi Reds and a barrel of Sweet Taldans every couple days. I even brokered a primo deal to get some beautiful Alabasters from Druma. Oh, so good.

Dicky is clearly impressed by Ri'chard putting back the equivalent of horse tranquilizer.

Hey, Dix. Got anything special for Ri'chard?

[Dicky Serpico]

Hey! Eighth Pint! Soothe syrup ain't complimentary around here!

Dicky slides a plate of Oysters Serpico and some extra Dralneen seasoned popped corn towards the halfling.

Sarenrae, please watch over that guy. He's good people. May the Dawnflower protect him and show him the error of his ways so that he may find the path to redemption.

[Detective Dixon Hill]

Dicky Serpico wrote:

Hey, Dix. Got anything special for Ri'chard?

"haha - i tell you Dicky... sometimes it's too easy - i'll pass on that one."

Dix' will however start on another concoction for Ri'chard.

[Dicky Serpico]

I hear ya, Dix, I hear ya. Hey Thundercock! you want something to wash that corn down?

[THUNDERCOCK!]

SQUAK! SQUAWK!

[THUNDERCOCK!]

THUNDERCOCK! looks at Ri'chard. Back to THUNDERLIPS! His eyes narrow a bit.

[Burngar Rockhard]

Burngar takes a seat between THUNDERLIPS and THUNDERCOCK. He eyes the bird up and down.

Hey, mind if I try riding the chicken?

[THUNDERLIPS!]

Hey! Don't get between a barbarian and his cock!

[THUNDERCOCK!]

BATTLE MODE!