Battle of the Shapeshifters (the Game)

[Ventnor]

I shapeshift into the darkness, which cannot be targeted by magic missile!

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

I shapeshift into the Demon Hunter from Warcraft III - Darkness tends to avoid me since I can never manage to return its calls.

[Ventnor]

I shapeshift into a Pit Fiend. Every demon you hunt is a win for the devils!

[DM_aka_Dudemeister]

I shapeshift into a pit, a pit fiend can never escape a pit, that's why it not called a regular fiend.

[GoatToucher]

I shapeshift into a bulldozer, and fill the pit with gravel.

[Ventnor]

I shapeshift into a construction site gremlin. The keys to the bulldozer were never found again.

[GoatToucher]

I turn into sunlight and gooify the gremlins.

[Goddity]

I turn into a vampire and sparkle at you.

[equinoxmaster]

I turn into a golem made out of stakes and stab you.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

I shapeshift into a giant termite and eat your delicious stake.

[Ventnor]

I shapeshift into a very hungry woodpecker and devour the termite.

[Goddity]

I shape shift into fire and BURN THE WOODPECKER TO DEATH LIKE IT DESERVES.

[equinoxmaster]

I turn into Aquaman and put the fire out by throwing sharks I summoned at it.

[DM_aka_Dudemeister]

I turn into a desert and strand Aquaman inside me so he dies of thirst.

[Ventnor]

I shapeshift into a river, and make the desert habitable.

[GoatToucher]

I shapeshift into a levee and redirect the river into some swampland.

[imimrtl]

I shapeshift into the New Orleans levee boards and neglect maintenance on your levee...those poor people...

[DM_aka_Dudemeister]

I shapeshift into bankruptcy, the board is disbanded due to lack of funds.

[imimrtl]

I transform into a Vulture Fund and buy the distressed debt before liquidating the assets that the board accrued in equipment and making a substantial profit...oh I also fired all of the maintenance workers.

[Ventnor]

I shapeshift Donald Trump, acquire the Vulture Fund, and use it to build the yoogest, most luxurious tower in the middle of New Orleans because why not?

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

I shapeshift into President Obama, and if Trump somehow wins not only the primary but also the general election, I call b@~~%@~~, suspend the Constitution, and declare myself Emperor-Until-Further-Notice-Because-This-Country-Was-Clearly-Beyond-Hope-A lready-And-Republicans-Kept-Saying-I'd-Do-Something-Like-This-Anyway-So-Why -The-Hell-Shouldn't-I.

[imimrtl]

I shapeshift into reality and reassure President Obama there is no way in holy hell trump wins the general election...and if he does I will officially petition to change the name of the country from the United States of America...to just 'MURICA!!!!

[GoatToucher]

I shapeshift into a more pleasant reality, with kittens and hookers!

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

I shapeshift into a furry convention, and make people less sure that "kittens and hookers" is really that pleasant a combination.*

* = No offense to furries, I find the whole phenomenon hilariously and adorably freakish.

[Ventnor]

I shapeshift into a hurricane, and have the convention shut down due to a storm warning.

[Ghufufin]

I shapeshift into the Gulf Stream and throw the hurricane hilariously (or tragically) off target.

[Ventnor]

I shapeshift into a Spanish Galleon, which rides the Gulf Stream to get lots of treasure* from the New World!

* Some human suffering may apply

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

I shapeshift into Sir Francis Drake.

Spanish galleon, you say? I don't see any Spanish galleon - but there sure is a lot of flotsam clogging up the Channel today, my word....

[GoatToucher]

I shapeshift into dysentery, and Drake dies as he lived: s~@&ting himself uncontrollably.

[imimrtl]

I shapeshift into Brawndo the Thirst Mutilator because it's got what people with dysentary crave! It's got electrolytes!

[Ventnor]

I shapeshift into a Dietician, who informs his patients that drinking just sugar water is going to get them killed and convinces them to change their eating and drinking habits.

[GoatToucher]

I shapeshift into the average American's eating habits, and the dietician bursts into flame.

[Rubber Ducky guy]

I shapeshift inta a fitspiration meme and put the American eating habits to shame

[Ventnor]

I shapeshift into an idiot with a computer, who posts memes on social media without actually understanding what they're about and consequently ruining them.

[imimrtl]

I shapeshift into a Facebook employee to tell you your memes have been flagged as inappropriate due to the copious amounts of breastfeeding and you are now banned.

[Ventnor]

I shapeshift into a dinosaur, who needs neither Facebook nor the Internet.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

I shapeshift into an attack dog with a built-in force field, who eats dinosaurs!

[Kobold Catgirl]

I shapeshift into a cat, who sits on top of the forcefield and mocks the impotent dog.

[Ventnor]

I shapeshift into a laser pointer. The cat cannot help himself, and leaps into the force-field.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

I shapeshift into a black hole. Mmmm, light!

[GoatToucher]

I shapeshift into opposite day, and the black hole ejects it's contents into the universe until it dwindles to nothing.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

I shapeshift into SpongeBob SquarePants, and twist and torment logic governing Opposite Day to the point of utter nonfunctional incoherence. D'AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[Ventnor]

I shapeshift into the actual Bikini Atoll, nuclear fallout and all.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

I shapeshift into one of Tim Burton's Martians, and inhale the raw nuclear energy only to have it temporarily give me a funny voice.

[GoatToucher]

I shapeshift into a yodeling cowboy and burst some Martian skulls.

[Ventnor]

I shapeshift into a flat, featureless field, where no yodeling can echo.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

I shapeshift into a meteor the size of Botswana, and fix that sucker up with some geographic features righty-o quick.

[Ventnor]

I shapeshift into an 17th-level wizard. Meteors only fall when I say they do!

[GoatToucher]

I shapeshift into a spellbook and promptly get stolen, crippling the wizard.

[Ventnor]

I shapeshift into a shady antiques dealer, and "legally acquire" the spellbook.