Is an apparatus considered a misc magic item or a monster?

[Eric Morton]

The black raven wrote:

Regrettably, Curaigh, your item apparently uses the proper construction feat. I am sorry to tell you that it cannot enter the Utterly Wrong In All Ways Item contest :-(

Keep at it though. Who knows, maybe next year (or sometimes earlier, who knows these days) you might be the one to check all the wrong boxes ;-)

Also, Curaigh, your item isn't over the word count limit by a factor of 10.

[Jeff Lee]

Eric Morton wrote:

The black raven wrote:

Regrettably, Curaigh, your item apparently uses the proper construction feat. I am sorry to tell you that it cannot enter the Utterly Wrong In All Ways Item contest :-(

Keep at it though. Who knows, maybe next year (or sometimes earlier, who knows these days) you might be the one to check all the wrong boxes ;-)

Also, Curaigh, your item isn't over the word count limit by a factor of 10.

Backstory is important!

[Curaigh]

Yeah I added the figurine part which normally wouldn't have to be included but added a lot of words. (cutting them meant I could include the full item name! :) EDIT: missed the contraction so put those words back in. And included all that wonderful fluff prized by voters and armchair superstars.

Curaigh wrote:

Figurine of Wondrous Power: bovine aspergillum apparatus

Aura strong illusion and transmutation; CL 1Zth
Slot none; Price 560 gp; Weight 1 em-dash
Description

This figurine appears to be a miniature statuette carved of inky blackness and billowing cloaks an inch or so high. When the figurine is tossed down and the correct command word spoken ("MooOOoo"), it becomes a living creature of normal size. The creature obeys and serves its owner. Unless stated otherwise, the creature understands Common but does not speak. It is really bad at spelling too, but does ok with grammar.

Bovine aspergillum apparatus: Favored by followers of Auðumbla and the 8 Maids O'. When animated, a bovine aspergillum apparatus acts in all ways like normal longhorn cattle except its horns are actually earthbreakers. The item can be used twice per week to ring a filigreed bell hanging from the torque on the cow's gear-laden & blind-folded head. Ringing the bell cuts a hole in space from which the rest of its herd appears. All areas the herd moves through become difficult terrain. When 6 hours have passed or when the command word is spoken, the bovine once again becomes a tiny statuette. Once per day holy milk can be called from the figurine. Whether for blessings, to battle undead, or melt wall of ice, it still looks awkward when done.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, animate object, move earth, Cost 2550 sp

And until I see two better this is still gets an upvote ;)

[Wren Brown]

"Curaigh' wrote:

Figurine of Wondrous Power: bovine aspergillium apparatus

The black raven wrote:

Regrettably, Curaigh, your item apparently uses the proper construction feat. I am sorry to tell you that it cannot enter the Utterly Udderly Wrong In All Ways Item contest :-(

Fixed it for you!

[Rabbitball]

Quote:

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, animate object, move earth, Cost 2550 sp

And until I see two better this is still gets an upvote ;)

The creation feat is [mis-]spelled "Craft Wonderous Item" and the second spell should be "mooooove earth". :P

[Kobold Catgirl]

I'll be submitting no fewer than five apparatuses using my dummy accounts, Goblin Cleaver, Ambrosia Slaad, Sharoth, and...s~#~, I forgot the last alias. Maybe I should design an apparatus to manage them all.

[Ambrosia Slaad]

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

I'll be submitting no fewer than five apparatuses using my dummy accounts, Goblin Cleaver, Ambrosia Slaad, Sharoth, and...s*~&, I forgot the last alias. Maybe I should design an apparatus to manage them all.

Now I feel like a Voltron robot lion. ("Kobtron"?)