DM Terquem's guide to Role Playing your Character, Correctly!

[Terquem]

rule #1

When I ask you, "What does your character do next?"

You should not respond with, "Where are the Cheetos?"

rule #2

When another player is taking time to describe an action, no, no it is not appropriate to throw chocolate covered raisins at the miniatures and yell, "Oh my God there's a flock of dragons passing over us"

[Doomed Hero]

*gets popcorn*

[Terquem]

rule #3

While I may, and certainly have in the past, used funny voices, strange accents, or bizarre speech patterns for various NPC encounters

All monsters go, "rawrrr,"

Orcs pop out of the forest

"rawrrr"

Stirges swoop down from the rafters

"rawrrr"

You blunder into a gelatinous cube

"rawrrr"

Player, "the gelatinous cube goes, rawrrr?"

I respond

"RAWRRR"

[Terquem]

rule #4
For play by post games, specifically

You can post in the first person or the third person, I really do not have a preference, but if you change narrative perspective in the middle of your post, Terquem is likely to be confused.

[Maelodakh Listener]

Mae has never done that, nor will I ever.

[Oceanshieldwolf]

;)

[Kalindlara]

Dot. ^_^

[Terquem]

Rule #5

Keep discussions about how the game is supposed to work to a minimum, to avoid distractions from the immersion

This exchange actually happened, right around 1982, US Naval Training Facility, Waukegan Illinois. I have changed the names of the participants to protect the innocent

The role of the dungeon master will be played by Captain Kirk, while the role of the players will be played by the android, Norman, and Harcourt Fenton Mudd

Captain Kirk: Your character’s alignment is Chaotic Neutral?
Norman: Yes
Captain Kirk: Okay, so at the next session what will your alignment be?
Norman: Wait, what?
Captain Kirk: Next week, what will your alignment be?
Norman: Um, the same, Chaotic Neutral
HFM: Sounds sort of consistent
Captain Kirk: Very consistent
Norman: You can be consistent and still be chaotic, being chaotic doesn’t mean you can’t be, wait, it’s the character, not, wait, hold on, what
HFM: Now he is trying to explain it so we understand, that’s like compassion, isn’t it? Sounds like a good deed
Norman: You guys suck – (storms out of hall)

[Marco Polaris]

This is entirely too educational. I'm retroactively unlearning things from grade school, just to make room for all these nuggets of wisdom. I have no idea how I'm going to get my shoes on tomorrow.

[Terquem]

Rule #6

Romance is difficult to role play, but will not be discouraged, however if your name is Christine, you have brown hair and blue eyes, you play a Cleric, and you save my NPC bard from drowning, it is likely that I will ask you to marry me…

Thanks to my lovely wife of thirty three years, Christine, for always putting up with the thirteen year old in me!

[DrDeth]

Terquem wrote:

rule #1

When I ask you, "What does your character do next?"

You should not respond with, "Where are the Cheetos?"

Unless of course, you are REALLY hungry. ;-)

[KahnyaGnorc]

What if the character wants the Cheetos?

[Wunder the Barkeep]

"Son, we don't have that here. The closest we've got is Dried Tazylworm Chips. Would you like some Gelatinous Jello Shooters or some Manticore Maltz?"

The barkeep wipes his table with a damp rag, an easy grin on his face.

[Orville Redenbacher]

*pop

[Rynjin]

Marco Polaris wrote:

This is entirely too educational. I'm retroactively unlearning things from grade school, just to make room for all these nuggets of wisdom. I have no idea how I'm going to get my shoes on tomorrow.

Just do like I do and wear sandals everywhere.

[The Green Tea Gamer]

Rynjin wrote:

Marco Polaris wrote:

This is entirely too educational. I'm retroactively unlearning things from grade school, just to make room for all these nuggets of wisdom. I have no idea how I'm going to get my shoes on tomorrow.

Just do like I do and wear sandals everywhere.

Same, but flip flops!

[Rynjin]

Sandals, flip flops, same difference.

I guess technically mine are flippy and flippy since they don't have straps.

[Terquem]

Rule #7

Role Playing Animal Companions

You may role play your animal companion's behavior, or you may ask me to do it, however, be warned, if you ask me to do it, I will certainly place straws lodged in my upper lip and pretend your animal companion is a walrus

[DungeonmasterCal]

And it will go "RAWR!"

[DrDeth]

Terquem wrote:

Rule #7

Role Playing Animal Companions

You may role play your animal companion's behavior, or you may ask me to do it, however, be warned, if you ask me to do it, I will certainly place straws lodged in my upper lip and pretend your animal companion is a walrus

"Straws lodged in your upper lip "? Oh, if only my DM placed the pencils only in his upper lip....