The Nation of Joe [Homebrewed Human Subtype]

[Scott_UAT]

Hey guys, Scott from Little Red here. We are doing a month of free homebrewed content leading up to our charity sponsoring one day sale so I figured I'd repost the free homebrewed stuff we put on the blog here for you all to take a look at.

The Nation of Joe
A Racial Option for Humans in the Pathfinder Roleplaying Game

Joe is a clone. So is Joe. In fact, everyone in the Nation of Joe is a clone of Joe. No one knows, or remembers much about, the original Joe. Much has been said but much more has been embellished of his life and most Joes simply assume Joe was an average Joe. It is a commonly accepted notion that the original Joe (who is referred to as “O.J”) had an unfortunate accident that caused him to continue to shed a clone of himself every year. In turn, each of his clones are duplicated every 10 years. After nearly 500 years, no one remembers who O.J really was.

Physical Appearance
Each clone is born at the same state as the O.J was when the accident occurred. Joes are born about 20 years old, slightly out of shape, human, possessing brown hair, pale skin, round features, and overall a rather bland appearance. They stand 5’10 and never grow from there. As they grow older, Joes suffer from male pattern balding and their hair turns white. Joes are a bit stocky and have a hearty disposition. In life it seems like O.J must have been a manual laborer because his clones are generally rather strong and accustomed to physical exertions. While Joes are never noted to be particularly bright, they have a layman's good sense about them. Joes are “born” (split) fully able to speak and with a level of intelligence that seems to indicate that a low level of memory transfer.

Personality
Joes are not adventurous but like to boast and brag every chance they get. They are profoundly mundane in their existence and rarely step outside the boundaries of their assigned role. Joes are very economically minded but fail to grasp abstract concepts. They are never cowardly but have the good sense to not involve themselves in dangerous situations. Joes have a fondness for beer and pork flavored meals. To this end, many Joes are farmers or brewers as they are always in demand. Joes harbor an irrational fear of cats and none are kept as pets in Joe cities. Joes are not particularly aggressive, being rather mild-tempered and thoughtful. While not lordly, Joes have a quiet sense of dignity and self-esteem that comes from honest and hard work.

Racial Traits
As Joes are all clones of each other, they have standardized stating statistics depending on the point buy value of the game. On top of this, Joes gain the standard human racial starting package.

• 10 Point: Str 12 (+1), Dex 12 (+1), Con 12 (+0), Int 12 (+1), Wis 12 (+1), Cha 10 (+0)
  
• 15 Point: Str 13 (+1), Dex 12 (+1), Con 14 (+2), Int 12 (+1), Wis 13 (+2), Cha 10 (+0)
  
• 20 Point: Str 14 (+2), Dex 12 (+1), Con 14 (+2), Int 12 (+1), Wis 14 (+2), Cha 11 (+0)
  
• 25 Point: Str 14 (+2), Dex 12 (+1), Con 16 (+3), Int 12 (+1), Wis 14 (+2), Cha 11 (+0)

In addition to the typical racial traits of a human, a Joe gains the following racial traits:

• Beside Myself: Joes live in close proximity and are use to moving about in excessively crowded spaces. Even when they fight, Joes are practically tripping over their brothers. Up to two Joes can share the same square at the same time. If two Joes in the same square attack the same foe, they are considered to be flanking that foe as if they were in two opposite squares.

Character Classes
Joes cannot become characters classes that are linked to their bloodline, as O.J was born from unremarkable stock. This specifically precludes many sorcerers, though special exception can be made if they are somehow influenced by odd circumstances at the moment of their splitting or other sorts of outside influence that isn’t directly related to their birth.

Joes who end up in the adventuring line of work are often drawn to be fighters, rangers, or other martial characters. As Joes are rather mundane in their temperament, few become barbarians though several deranged Joes have taken up the calling. Clerics tend to follow the community and artifice domains and a cult of Joes worship O.J as a deity. Joes who practice arcane magic are rare, but not unheard of. Many are drawn to it for the financial security it ensures (as it is an in-demand skill) but repulsed by the esoteric nature of the knowledge they must master.

Individuality
In a perfect example of nature vs nurture, Joes show a great deal of individuality. While they are a tightly knit community who rely on each other in an almost twin-like fashion, Joes are always trying to differentiate themselves. In their “youth” (the first 5-10 years of their life or so) they will carve shapes into their hair, attempt to wear a unique piece of clothing, tattoo themselves, proudly display scars or disfigurements, and do anything to call attention to their individuality. As they grow older, Joes tend to find themselves more accepting of their role in their community and try to blend in more. By the time a Joe is 30 or 40 (all Joes start to count their age from 20) most Joes have settled into their life as “just another Joe”. Some rebel against this notion and many have traveled far and wide in search of self-exploration.

Relationships
Joes are all male. This is something of a problem as it causes an overabundance of males in a region where Joes inhabit. Joes, often lacking the confidence to speak to a woman, are not particularly successful on the dating scene. Many women from surrounding villages look down on Joes because marrying one is seen as “lowly” due to their excessive numbers. Those that do marry them regard them as kindly husbands with a deep affinity for children in their later years. Marrying a Joe is a safe choice and many women are ok with that. They know exactly what to expect (there are books on the subject) and exactly how to handle any issues that arise. A Joe’s offspring are typical humans, not sharing the odd duplication process that occurs in their main genetic line. The majority of Joes never get married or have non-clone offspring and this is a matter of some frustration for older Joes who feel a strong parental urge.

Offspring
Joes share little parent/child relationship with their clones. Often times the Joe that a new Joe split from will mentor the new, younger, Joe for a few days or weeks and provide them with a little starting money. Joes reproduce once every 10 years, splitting off a new Joe in a painful hour-long process that is tantamount to a fever. Calculating when a splitting will occur is not an exact science. It happens once every 10 years give or take 1d20 months (+ or -). About a month before the splitting a Joe will put on an excessive amount of weight and begin to suffer from a carving to voraciously eat. Once the splitting has occurred the parent Joe is exhausted and requires bed rest for a few days to recover before being able to resume his everyday life. A Joe can not stop a clone from splitting. On rare occasions multiple clones will split off from a single individual or more frequent splittings can occur. Occasional birth defects occur (runty malnourished clones, clones with multiple arms, two-headed clones, etc) but they are rare in the extreme and often treated with extreme disdain.

“Figglewick”
For some unknown reason every Joe has the compulsion to snap their fingers when they heard the nonce word “figglewick”. They can resist it with a Will save (DC 15) and a Joe can only be compelled to snap once every hour. While there are a number of theories to explain this odd compulsion, but none completely satisfy all questions. Many postulate that “Figglewick” is the name of an ancient wizard that cursed O.J with his cloning or is one of many trigger words inlaid in the genetic memory of all Joes. The latter theory, despite not finding any other trigger words, suggest that these trigger words are baked into their minds and one day they will rise up as an army to do the bidding of their true master (there are many theories on who this may be). However, many simply regard it as an odd party trick to cause a whole lot of Joes to snap in unison.

Names
Joes all respond to the name “Joe” or “Joseph” but each has their own individual designation. Most commonly Joes pick other names that sound like Joe or at least begin with the letter “J”.
Common Names: Jeff, Jim, Josiah, Jeremy, Geoffrey, Joy, James, Crow, Monroe, Thoreau, John, Joshua, Jason, Justin, Jack, Julian, Joel, Jake, Jay, Jerome, Joaquin, and Julius

Sidebar: Making Your Own Clone Race
Joe doesn’t do it for you? Well you can brew up your own clone race in place of Joe! Just select a default ability score setup like we did above and lay down the specifics for the individual your character is based on.

Alternate Racial Traits
A Joe is a human, though they have several unique alternate racial traits that you may take to replace your existing human racial traits.

One of Us: Joes are masters of compromise, having to share everything with a massive number of siblings who all want the same exact thing. A Joe gains a bonus equal to half his character level on Diplomacy and Sense Motive checks with all humans. This bonus improves to a value equal to his full character level if he attempts it against another Joe. This bonus does not stack with bonuses from class features or magic. This replaces the Skilled racial trait of the human.

Mutant Joe: Every now and again a Joe is born horrifically disfigured. You take a -4 penalty to your Charisma score but gain one of the following benefits:
-Runty: Your size category changes to Small and gain a +1 size bonus to your AC, a +1 size bonus on attack rolls, a –1 penalty to your CMB and CMD, and a +4 size bonus on Stealth checks. In addition, your base speed is reduced to 20 feet.
-Handy: You have a weak, atrophied, extra arm that can use to carry objects. You cannot wield weapons with this limb, but it allows you to retrieve a small, stowed object carried on your person as a swift action.
-Mental: You head swells into a veiny mess of lumpy flesh but grants you horrific psychic powers. You gain the Wild Talent feat as a bonus feat at 1st level. In addition, if you take a level in a favored class, you can choose to gain an additional power point instead of a hit point or skill point. This ability references material found in Psionics Unleashed (Copyright 2010, Dreamscarred Press).

Average Joe: Everything you do is average and you are entirely unremarkable. Creatures who attempt to recall information about you or identify you have the DC improved by 5. In addition, there is a 25% chance that any attempt to scry or use other divination magic on you that specifies a target will accidentally target another Joe. This replaces the Skilled racial trait of the human.

Thoughts? Feelings? Figglewicks?

[lucky7]

This is interesting. A bit too comedic for my taste, but other than that I really like it.

[LazarX]

It's one of these things that's a lot more fun to read than use.

[Scott_UAT]

lucky7 wrote:

This is interesting. A bit too comedic for my taste, but other than that I really like it.

Thanks :-) I always believe that you gotta write some comedic stuff if you are writing some dark stuff (i.e Necropunk, Tome of Twisted Things, Tome of Wicked Things, etc).

[Aishachan13]

It's amusing, but like LazarX said, something I find more amusing to read than to use. Real world examples have shown that when there's a large gender imbalance really bad things can happen, but it sounds like there's females around, just like not quiet as many. So there's just a slightly larger number of dudes? It's definitely amusing, and I get the feeling it's supposed to be lolzy, and I mean, if you want a player that can go through some mpreg, welllllp here ya go.

The only thing that I might say is switch the word disfigured to mutant in "Every now and again a Joe is born horrifically disfigured". It also says that "Occasional birth defects occur (runty malnourished clones, clones with multiple arms, two-headed clones, etc) but they are rare in the extreme and often treated with extreme disdain" the idea is fine, but it might strike close to home for people. Mutant works better as it seems to be more in line with the idea of multiple arms and giant brain heads and doesn't have quiet the same connotations of people who are born with actual birth defects and shamed or treated poorly for it. I might be being a little touchy about it, but I'm sensitive about stuff like that, so that might just be me. Feel free to disregard me if you want.

Other than that I think that it looks fun, and funny.

[Guang]

Figglewick! Figglewick! Figglewick!

Fun reading.

[boring7]

The Joepocalypse is coming. It is the day when Joes are so numerous that they overtake humanity and become the dominant life-form.

There is a conspiracy trying to destroy Joe-kind, their ways walk the grey morality of a well-intentioned extremist.

[UsagiTaicho]

Heh. This is pretty funny.

[Umbral Reaver]

Meanwhile, on the opposite side of the planet, there is a nation of Janes.

A secret order of wizards has dedicated themselves to ensuring the two populations never discover each other.

[boring7]

Joe-Jane mingling is anticipated to result in the rising of the Psmith.

[Writer]

You always know a working joe : )

[GypsyMischief]

I love it, the land of Joe would be a fun thing to drop into a post-apoc game, more as a curiosity than anything else.

[Little Red Goblin Games]

Yeah, while we provided player stats for them I think this would be a very fun aspect to drop into a world as an NPC group or faction.

[Goth Guru]

Possibly an alternate Glorion where there was a war involving magical nukes. Joe got lucky and further exposure causes faster splitting or additional mutations. It could be the result of devil fruit, so Joes cannot swim. Another idea is OJ was actually a GI Joe and they pretty much wiped out Cobra. Many pursue military training fearing Cobra will rise again.

[Scott_UAT]

Goth Guru wrote:

Possibly an alternate Glorion where there was a war involving magical nukes. Joe got lucky and further exposure causes faster splitting or additional mutations. It could be the result of devil fruit, so Joes cannot swim. Another idea is OJ was actually a GI Joe and they pretty much wiped out Cobra. Many pursue military training fearing Cobra will rise again.

Well, now this is my headcanon for the race.

[Petty Alchemy]

I'm thinking of a certain vault from Falloutverse.

[Goth Guru]

Petty Alchemy wrote:

I'm thinking of a certain vault from Falloutverse.

The computer is your friend. Mutant clones are not. :)

[boring7]

Gaaary. Gary gary!