| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
I was just doing my daily inspection of another forum segment when I witnessed an unauthorized summoning of a goblinoid, followed by the appearance of ANOTHER goblinoid!
This raises some serious concerns within the Department of Gnomeland Security, for it is clear these malodorous menaces are up to something.
So I ask you, good non-goblin citizens of Paizo, how can we deal with this?
We cannot let this continue! Next things we'll be seeing, what, bugbears tending at cake shops? Gripply masseurs? ABOLETH BALLERINAS?
Madness, I tell you!
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
You just hafta know how to manage your goblin problem. I recommend a colorful horse-shaped pinata filled with glass vials of alchemical fire...
So I ask you, good non-goblin citizens of Paizo, how can we deal with this?
You pinkskins oughta know by now, you can't stop the bumrush.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Madness, I tell you!
It's all... part of the plan. Wanna know how I got these scars?
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
I was just doing my daily inspection of another forum segment when I witnessed an unauthorized summoning of a goblinoid, followed by the appearance of ANOTHER goblinoid!...
{fades slowly into view} If you are seeing unexpected goblin appearances where you look, perhaps you should mediate in a quiet place with a nice cup of tea and ask your subconscious why you leveled into summoner?
| 4 people marked this as a favorite. |
I was just doing my daily inspection of another forum segment when I witnessed an unauthorized summoning of a goblinoid, followed by the appearance of ANOTHER goblinoid!...
Yeah, back then, the visions, yeah most of the time I was convinced... S*+*... I'd lost it. But there were other times... I thought I was mainlining the secret truth of the universe.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Nonsense! Goblinoid propaganda at work! If you leave them to their devices, they can MESS WITH YOUR MIND.
Shoo, you pointy-tooth encroachers, shoo!
{fades into view} You rang? Sumthin need a burninating?
{fades into view} Wait, why am I here? GSE, I think you might be cracking up.
<Announcement blasts from a series of thimble-sized megaphones... miniphones?>
STOP FADING INTO VIEW!
FADING INTO VIEW FROM A STATE OF PREVIOUSLY UN-VIEW IS AN AFFRONT TO GNOMELAND SECURITY!
CITIZENS ARE REQUIRED TO BE FULLY VISIBLE AT ALL TIMES!
TRANSPARENCY OF ALL KINDS MAY ALSO BE SUBJECT TO INTERROGATION!
FAITHFUL CITIZENS SHALL REPORT THEIR NEIGHBOURS IF THEY FEEL THEY MIGHT BE HARBOURING GOBLINOID SYMPATHY OR ENGAGING IN ALTERNATING DEGREES OF DIAPHANOUSNESS!
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
[Fades into view without any pants on]
The Sheriff's Secret Police released a report this morning regarding the sudden appearance of ephemeral demihuman creatures that the local populace has colloquially begun to refer to as "goblins". It is currently unknown where they are coming from, or if they have any connection to the old oak doors that appeared around our fair city earlier this summer.
I tried talking to one, mostly to ask if she'd seen Carlos, but she just blew a raspberry at me and set my tie on fire.
The Sheriff's Secret Police warn that the creatures are possibly armed and most certainly dangerous, and advise citizens remain in their homes until the situation is brought under control. They also noted that this really won't prevent the goblins from reaching people, as they seem to be able to manifest just about anywhere, and frequently simply walk through walls as if they were never there. There are three in the studio right now. I think one of them ate Intern Claudius. Our condolences go to his family.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
1st Comrade Schnauserpie: The first step on the Long March to Freedom has been taken, Comrade! Our plan to dump 3cwt of pesh in Gnome Depot's water supply has been successful! Ha! Ha! Ha!
2nd Comrade Mincepony: Ha! Ha! Ha!, Comrade! What shall we do now?
1st Comrade Schnauserpie: Let's have a Purge! It's ages since we had a good Purge!
2nd Comrade Mincepony: Nah - I'm bored of Purges. Besides, there's only us two left. Let's open an office supplies business instead.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Yeah! Down with goblins!
...although you have to admire their deep and inspired sense of humor...
...and they are natty dressers...
On second thought, down with gnomes! Bring on the goblins...and those absolutely stellar beings, the gnolls!
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
THE GNOMUNIST REGIME OF GNOMREA IS OF AGREEING WITH DANGER OF GOBLIN
GOBLIN IS PIG-DIGUSTING CAPITALIST INVENTION
SEND GOBLINS TO REGIME
REGIME MAKE SAUSAGES
---------------------------
<In a poorly-lit room back in Glorious Gnomrea>
RING-RING, IS COMRADE GOBLIN OF BEING?
GLORIOUS GNOMUNIST LEADER IS OF WANTINGS TO KNOWS PROGRESS OF INVASION OF DIRTY WESTERN ENEMY
GLORIOUS LEADER IS OF SUPPORTIVE, SEND SIX CLOCKS AND BOX OF SOCKS
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Poofs into view on a nearby staircase. "WHO THE HELL SUMMONED ME HERE?! AAAAAGH!" falls down the stairs and poofs out of view as they hit the bottom.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
{fades into view and raises a finger}
...
{puts finger on his lip in thought and fades from view}
I'd suggest putting a bounty of perhaps 56 to 133 gp on goblin heads.
I could help, however I'd take the rest of Gnomeland with it....
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
runs through thread screaming
It's the stoopid pinkskins fault there are so many goblins. If they'd stop casting spells with the [goblin] descriptor, they'd stop gobbing out.
{pushes another paladin down the stairs} Yahtzee!