It's not DopaMINE, it's DopaOURS.
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Allons, lutins de la patrie,
1st Comrade Mincepony: Comrade, I'm worried. The Computer doesn't seem to be growing, and it's not eating the food I give it. 2nd Comrade Schauserpie: You don't give computers food, idiot - they make their own via photosynthesis. Water it, or, if you haven't got a watering can handy, wee through the little holes in the back. Make sure it's turned on while you do it, though, else it won't work.
1st Comrade Mincepony: Madame Sissyl is always putting us down! 2nd Comrade Schnauserpie: Down, down! 1st Comrade Mincepony: Down, down, down, with the blood-gorged atomic leeches of Wall Street! 2nd Comrade Schnauserpie: Down, down, down, down, with the imperialist paper running dogs, gnawers of the People's toil-hardened entrails and thwarters of the democratic will of the Proletarian Masses of the Pomarj! 1st Comrade Mincepony: She says we come from the wrong side of town! 2nd Comrade Schnauserpie: Ultra-bourgeoise pop culture references mean Purgings, Comrade. Just saying. 1st Comrade Mincepony: Whoopee! Together we will build Socialism through regular colonic irrigations!
The gobbo's flag is mighty fine
1st Comrade Mincepony: End pugsploitation now! You can't spell 'capitalist' without 'candy'! 2nd Comrade Schnauserpie: Yes, you can. 1st Comrade Mincepony: I'm First Comrade, and I say you can't! {shouts} Pugs and Mites! 2nd Comrade Schnauserpie:Unite and fight! 1st Comrade Mincepony: Gobs and Succs! 2nd Comrade Schnauserpie:Unite and... er... er... Tee hee! *JPLF hurries off to its filthy burrow hand in hand, dripping with male privilege and leaving a long, shiny trail behind it*
*Steals Grandpa Mincepony's old uniform, pants excepted (of course) and stands still, saluting suspiciously stained flag, singing* DURR DUR DUR DUR DURDUR DUR DUR, DUR DURDUR DUR DURDUR DUR DUR (etc)
1st Comrade Schnauserpie: Luminous! Penetrating! Magnificent! But enough about my 16-inch glow in the dark dildo - how 'bout that Chairman Bob-thought? Sign me up now! 2nd Comrade Mincepony: Bah - ultra-leftist flapdoodle! 1st Comrade Schnauserpie: I'll ultra-leftist flapdoodle you, you revisionist fart-mask! 2nd Comrade Mincepony: You and whose army of flumphs? Adventurist! Imperialist running-dog! Droopy drawers! 1st Comrade Schnauserpie: You smell of goat poo and my General Secretary could beat up your General Secretary! 2nd Comrade Mincepony: Ima gonna get Dzerzhinskyan on yo' a*s!! [Fade to black, as Vivaldi's 'The Four Seasons' plays at deafening volume to cover up the horrifc sound of goblin-on-goblin violence]
1st Comrade Schnauserpie: The first step on the Long March to Freedom has been taken, Comrade! Our plan to dump 3cwt of pesh in Gnome Depot's water supply has been successful! Ha! Ha! Ha! 2nd Comrade Mincepony: Ha! Ha! Ha!, Comrade! What shall we do now? 1st Comrade Schnauserpie: Let's have a Purge! It's ages since we had a good Purge! 2nd Comrade Mincepony: Nah - I'm bored of Purges. Besides, there's only us two left. Let's open an office supplies business instead. |