Groan-inducing Monster Puns


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Silver Crusade

What happens when a Hound of Tindalos eats a copper sword?

Answer:
It becomes a Hound of Bronzalos.


Hrothdane wrote:

What happens when a Hound of Tindalos eats a copper sword?

** spoiler omitted **

That joke is ghast-ly!

Scarab Sages

MagusJanus wrote:

That joke is ghast-ly!

Yeth, hound her, moon, dog her, and elsewhale until the moderators banshee and put a meenlock on the forums to keeper out. I don't blemmyae.


Somebody better Adhukait the Paizo staff to allow these posts


I Axebeakause this is kind of fun.

Silver Crusade

2 people marked this as a favorite.

What monster is so powerful that you have to hit it with you best shot immediately?

Answer:
The Pat Benatarrasque

Dark Archive

*Groans induced*


2 people marked this as a favorite.

"Good morning, Mr Dwarven City Archivist"

"Good morning, Ms Dwarven Civil Engineer. What can I do for you?"

"Well, we're conducting excavations for a new sewage system at the moment and keep digging up the fossilised remains of gargantuan birds and hyena-like beast-men. Why might this be, pray?"

"I think you already know the answer"

Spoiler:

BECAUSE WE BUILT THIS CITY ON ROCS AND GNOLLS

"I was afraid you were going to say that. Now you must die"


When they caught Joe making love to a mind flayer, they arrested him for having illithid sex.


Did it happen in a gazebo sitting on a grassy gnoll?


I might have the Kuo-toa some of these bad puns...


1 person marked this as a favorite.

After Bilbo, Frodo, Merry, Pippin and so on, the next famousest halfling was Septigundus 'Tower of Orthanc' Took, who, thanks to an ingeniously adapted Enlarge Person spell and a great deal of stamina, was the toast of all the ladies of the Shire. Indeed, he kept going until his 150th year, when he expired of a heart attack when squiring Hazel and Hannah Cunningham, two young women with the silkiest toe-fur this side of the Brandywine. Imagine his family's embarrassment when they had to buy a human-sized coffin to contain his carcase, such was the state of his, er, rigor mortis, thus proving that

Spoiler:
Old Hobbits Die Hard.


All these puns are making me hungry, I think I'll goblin up some cheesy poofs.


These are some gug-awful puns. I had to put my two centaurs in tho. It looked like too much Faun not to join Ent.


You all need to get a grippli!


Kender I just say Skumthing here? These puns wight be better if we had some black pudding to eat while we Lichstened to them.

Liberty's Edge

I can't believe I'm reading this Sahuagain.


:sings:

Skum with me

My love.

To the sea,

The Sea of Flumph...


And visit your friendly Locathah game store.


Bulette for you.


You have to loosen the peryton-tal ligament if you want to extract that tooth.

Or a hammer. That works too.


All of these puns are making me want to tarrasque my eyes out before I scry me a river.


Going shopping......Aberzombie and fitz


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Beware the GM who calls a land bird a Rhea.
Sooner or later they will trot out a Dire Rhea!


That was truly a work of xvart, but I'm boggard if I know what sort. Imp-ressionist? Succ-cubist? Scro-mantic? Bar-roc? Archon look it up in my encyclops-pedia if I find the time (pseudo-elemental)


I
am
going
to
to
win


We are all better if we live in a kender world.


"Over there! Lukwata hell is that?"

"Oh, don't fall for those fey begging money by the side of the road. They're not really sick - they're leper-cons."


1 person marked this as a favorite.

I'm Erinyes the 8th, I am!
Erinyes the 8th, I am, I am!
I got eaten by the Balor next door,
Oo'd seized my 7 sisters inbetween 'is jaws,
And every one was an Erinyes!
'E nommed us like we was Infernal Spam!
I'm 'is 8th light snack wot's an Erinyes,
I'm Erinyes the 8th, I am!


Second verse!
Same as the first!
A little bit louder and a little bit worse!

Pulg wrote:

I'm Erinyes the 8th, I am!

Erinyes the 8th, I am, I am!
I got eaten by the Balor next door,
Oo'd seized my 7 sisters inbetween 'is jaws,
And every one was an Erinyes!
'E nommed us like we was Infernal Spam!
I'm 'is 8th light snack wot's an Erinyes,
I'm Erinyes the 8th, I am!


Puts a hot dog in a huge beer mug. "Frank in Stein!"

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