Round 2: Create a Bestiary entry

Sczarni RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka Arkos

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This disheveled, muttering figure leaps from the shadows with a bloody axe tight in his fist. Beneath the misshapen hood of his filthy cloak, hateful eyes glower at the surrounding cityscape.

Bogle CR 2
XP 600
NE Tiny fey
Init +9; Senses discern dread 90 ft., low-light vision; Perception +10
Aura echoed whispers (90 ft., DC 13)

----- Defense -----
AC 17, touch 17, flat-footed 12 (+5 Dex, +2 size)
hp 14 (3d6+3)
Fort +2, Ref +8, Will +7; +2 vs. illusions
DR 5/cold iron; SR 14

----- Offense -----
Speed 20 ft.
Melee handaxe +8 (1d2–1 plus steal purpose/x3)
Space 2-1/2 ft.; Reach 0 ft.
Special Attacks sneak attack +1d6
Spell-Like Abilities (CL 7th; concentration +9)
At will—bleed (DC 12), ghost sound (DC 12), message
1/day—dimension door (self only), dust of twilight (DC 13), obscuring mist, ventriloquism (DC 13)

----- Statistics -----
Str 8, Dex 20, Con 12, Int 11, Wis 15, Cha 14
Base Atk +1; CMB +4; CMD 13
Feats Improved Initiative, Iron Will, Weapon Finesse
Skills Acrobatics +11, Intimidate +8, Escape Artist +11, Perception +10, Sense Motive +8, Stealth +19 (+23 in urban areas); Racial Modifiers +2 Perception, +4 Stealth in urban areas
Languages Common, Sylvan

----- Ecology -----
Environment urban
Organization solitary, pair, or gang (3–6)
Treasure standard

----- Special Abilities -----
Echoed Whispers (Su) The angry murmurings of a bogle fill the city streets with an ineffable tension. Creatures within 90 feet of a bogle must succeed at a DC 13 Will save or become shaken for 1d4+1 rounds. Whether or not the save is successful, that creature cannot be affected again by the same bogle’s aura for 24 hours. This is a fear effect. The DC is Charisma-based.
Discern Dread (Ex) A bogle is able to hear the frightened whispers and shudders of other creatures with remarkable precision. A bogle gains blindsight within 90 feet, but only against creatures suffering from a fear effect.
Steal Purpose (Su) A bogle seeks to take meaning from the life of its enemies. A creature that is damaged by a bogle must succeed at a DC 13 Fortitude save or take 1 point of Charisma damage. Whenever an opponent takes Charisma damage from this ability, the bogle gains a number of temporary hit points equal to its Hit Dice. The save DC is Charisma-based.

Many frontier communities living on the outskirts of the Verduran Forest or Darkmoon Wood have found themselves tragically cursed by the presence of callous and vengeful bogles. These vile fey come out at night to terrify whole neighborhoods and ambush passersby from the shadows.

Bogles have large, deformed ears that they attempt to keep hidden beneath their hoods. When left to their own devices, bogles mutter fearfully to themselves, seemingly oblivious to the world around them, and they guide themselves through the city streets based on the echoes of their own whispers. Other sources of fear become new echoes that a bogle can easily pinpoint. Once a frightened target has been found, bogles will stalk and attack without mercy, using whatever tricks they can to isolate and kill their target.

Standing less than two feet tall, a bogle is often confused with its close cousin, the brownie. But while brownies retain a connection with nature, bogles have been corrupted by the encroaching towns and cities of humankind. Now little more than wandering, malevolent killers, bogles have long since forgotten their origins in the First World.

Paizo Employee Developer , Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9

Congrats on making it to this round! May you have the luck and talent to push all the way through to the end!

”How I Judged These Monsters”:

When I develop a monster for the Adventure Path bestiaries, I print out the monster entry, and then go through it in a quick pass, marking up the page with notes and highlighting any problems that I need to address later when I really dig into it. Much of the time I’m circling things in the stat block or flavor text and leaving a quick note. Most often, this quick note pass is performed while I’m writing out art orders for the monsters so I can make sure that the description I give to the artist is what the final monster will be. This is where I make note of any changes I plan to make (some of which I’m sure frustrate some of my freelancers from time to time).

I’m going to judge this round in a similar manner to how I’d treat a monster I ordered from a freelancer if I asked one of my freelancers to just send me something within the same parameters that you’ve been given. My review isn’t anything personal, and since tone is difficult to communicate online sometimes, imagine my comments and critiques read in a friendly and nudging way. To heighten the experience, imagine my comments on your monster written in purple ink. :)

The blue italicized first line in my review was my gut reaction from reading the name with no context whatsoever. It was a fun guessing game I was playing while reviewing the monsters, so I included that note for everyone’s enjoyment. (Spoiler Alert: I was wrong a lot.)

And now to the monster!

Folklore creature!

The descriptive flavor text has a bit too much action. It presumes a tiny bit too much. You could have used the space to mention its size, since it is smaller than PCs.
Ooh, new sense. Interesting. Let’s see if it pans out. (It kinda did. I don’t know if I would put it on that line. This is something I’d have a conversation with the developers and editors about.)
AC is 3 higher than the target, but its hit points are low, so that kinda evens out. Damage is pretty low, but most of their damage routine is ability damage (something that can be difficult for low-level PCs to deal with).
Stats aren’t 3 even, 3 odd.
This guy totally strikes me as something that’d be buddies with redcaps.
I like echoed whispers and discern dread. Both are flavorful and not overpowered. Discern dread is especially cool. When I started reading steal purpose I thought it might be a crazy reach, but it cleverly works for the creature’s CR in a flavorful way.
Good tie to Andoran and Taldor with the Verduran Forest and the Darkmoon Wood.
The monster is urban and has a tie to Golarion. This monster wouldn’t take a lot of time to develop for print.

I do recommend bogle for advancement.

Webstore Gninja Minion , Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8

Hi there! I'll be one of the judges for this round, and I'll be looking at a couple of key points for your creature: flavor, GM usability, and how well it fits into the world of Golarion. For some background, I helped found the Wayfinder fanzine before I started working for Paizo, and these are all points that I took into consideration when selecting articles for the magazine. In addition, I oversee every third-party Pathfinder Roleplaying Game product that makes its way onto

Folklore-based creatures are fun, let's see how you pull this one off... The flavor is good, and doesn't go too far into redcap territory in the "murderin' fey" department. They seem that they would be good buddies though. Probably tryin' to steal the leprechaun's liquor.

GM Usability
There are some very neat abilities that work with each other. I really like how the discern dread ability can only detect creatures under a fear affect, and this helps assuage my concerns about how huge its area is. (A 90 foot radius can affect a lot of bystanders, after all.) The spell-like abilities works with its other abilities to help focus or confuse targets, and I actually like the dimension door ability (since it's limited to a 1/day use).

Very good ties to established lore with regards to the First World. There's a parallel to how gnomes are no longer tied to the First World themselves with your bogle, and that's a good comparison to make.

Final Thoughts
Fallen fey creature that takes advantage of fear to isolate and kill a target. I do recommend this monster for advancement.

Goblinworks Lead Game Designer

Hi, I'm Lee Hammock, the lead game designer on Pathfinder Online. Before that I did lots of d20 freelance work, but I'm probably going to be leaving mechanics to the more up to date judges and concentrating on story, overall balance, and how I could see using them in a game.

I really like the Discern Dread and Steal Purpose abilities. Normally I'd be worried about a chance of ability score damage on every hit at this level range, but the bogle generally does such little damage (even with sneak attack) I think it works out. The bogle has a great set of abilities for a hit and run monster; I especially like it can use Discern Dread to get beat on targets on the other side of walls and then dimension door to them.

All that said, the fiction does not wow me as it feels like something I've seen before. Between redcaps and various other fey I sort of feel like this is ground well covered, though one of these working in concert with some other fey would be very interesting. It does tie in to Golarion and is urban.

I'd say this is a Should Vote For.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9

Congratulations Rich,
I am trying to keep reviews simple to get through them quickly.
Creative: Yes, especially the discern fears
Fun to GM: yes,
Golarion Tie: frontier community and urban are a little at odds in my head, but close enough.
Good luck! :)

I read its description about figure gripping a bloodied axe! And then follow with learning its Tiny...

Creates an interesting image that reminds me of Mac Feegles from the Discworld.

Dark Archive

I think I'd like this better if it was at least small.

I do love Discern Dread and the idea behind Echoed Whispers, although I think I'd like Echoed Whispers more if it had a shorter range (perhaps even as short as 'adjacent squares'), an action type listed, and / or was a continuous effect.

I didn't have a lot of time for item reviewing this weekend, so I'm doing monsters instead. First I'll look at how the monster's basic rundown fits the monster creation table, then general theme and abilities.

= Monster meets the target statistics for its CR
+ Monster exceeds the target stats for its CR
++ Monster greatly exceeds target stats for its CR
- Monster's stats do not meet target stats for its CR
-- Monster's stats are greatly below target stats for its CR

hp: --
AC: ++
High Atk ++
Low Atk n/a
High Dmg --
Low Dmg --
Primary Ability DC: =
Secondary Ability DC: n/a
Good save: ++
Poor save: +

Low hp are offset by the DR, SR, high AC, and its Steal Purpose special ability. All things considered, this little bugger is gonna be a tough kill and probably on the upper border of its CR, especially for 1st or 2nd level characters.

I really like the flavor here, as you've touched on a theme I enjoy: the twisting of fey by civilization encroaching upon nature. I was a bit dismayed that you made the bogle Tiny, as that seemed to take the punch out of it, but the ties to brownies made sense and smoothed that over a bit for me.

The fear-themed special abilities are nicely done mechanically and are really cool flavor-wise. This is something I would definitely like to drop into a campaign based in the Darkmoon Vale area. This one will definitely be getting a vote from me.

RPG Superstar 2010 Top 32, 2011 Top 4 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka DankeSean

1 person marked this as a favorite.

My first instinct was to scream 'no, bogles are little purple rubbery guys that dimension door between your legs!', but that's just old school grognardism rearing its head.
These are pretty fantastic. Nice idea (fear-based fey exist already, sure, but these manage to put a new spin on the idea) that's executed really well. Discern dread is just plain great. Steal purpose is neat too, though I'm not sure how many temporary hps they get; is it based on the bogles hit dice, or the victims? Victim would seem more likely, but the language is a bit confusing there.
Overall, really good entry. Strong chance of my vote, though it's still too early to tell.

Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 9

flavor text that probably wouldn't be read to PCs is a big pet peeve of mine. However, with that exception this is a fun creature. I love how steal purpose works, especially because at this level one point of ability damage is still a decently big deal.

Dark Archive

I love this little terror! There are so many applications that could be conjured up by GMs to bring this critter to life. Nice work!

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka theheadkase

Interesting choice of a name. Not sure what to make of it yet.

Oooo is it a redcap type thingie?

SR 14 is rough when it's already got DR 5/cold iron and it's CR 2.

Shaken in a 90ft aura at CR 2. Whew.

Cool synergies.

Hm...I like it. Fey are awesome to begin with and this...manages to be close but not too close to existing folklore.

Overall, I like it. I like the synergies I see and the ideas. Tighten up your slightly overpowered abilities desire and you could do well. Keep.

Star Voter Season 7

Congratulations on making it past the first round.

This is a dark, creepy critter that is going to drive my players crazy. You've created something that, due to its size, will not seem a threat to most parties until it is too late. The sense of nature driven insane by the bogle is intense. I would love to see an encounter with a bogle or three. You have my vote.

Star Voter Season 7

Starfinder Superscriber

I like this. I have a feeling it'll make an appearance in my CoT games.

Vote for!

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka GM_Solspiral

The Good: So many good things going for this critter. Nice aura effect, lots of disabling methods that make it a credible threat.
The Bad: If this guy teamed up with the right thing you're tpking a 3rd level party.
The Ugly: I get the damage of sneak is to make up for the lackadaisical damage it dishes out normally but it is not enough. Its like playing GI Joes with an OCD cousin that loves setting tthem up but then refuses to play out the battles.
Overall: 7.5/10 Damage isn't everything this will likely get my vote.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16 , Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka JoelF847

I was dreading reading this entry as soon as I saw the name, since it immediately reminded me of the 1st edition monster boggle that could attack through dimensional rifts in any openings, including between a creature's legs. That suggested that you didn't do a lot of research on the name, no matter how much you used actual folklore as a source. The name is pretty iconically something different for a lot of gamers.

Trying to keep that apart from the actual entry, this didn't work for me as well as others. It felt a bit generically a fear inducing monster more than anything else, and had some issues as well. First, the description focused on a bloody axe wielding figure jumping out at you - and having it be Tiny doesn't jive with how the description reads. Somehow it being small needs to come through in the description.

Also, the echoed whispers ability has a really big radius, and can't be suppressed by the bogle, which means it can't really ever surprise anyone, since they'll hear it coming a mile away (or at least 90' away). This seems very odd when it's a stealthy little sneak attacking bugger. It seems that most of it's potential victims would run in terror as soon as the fear effect got them, and with a speed of 20, even with 1/day dimension door, I don't see the bogle catching anyone.

Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9

I'm torn on this. I feel the trope is so well worn as to be dripping blood, perhaps on a red cap, but the abilities are really nice!!!

I'm a bit confused as to how many hit points the bogle gets from steal purpose (great name by the way!) - is it equal to the victims Hit dice or the bogles? If the latter, that really isn't that great…

I like the large hidden ears, ties in well to the discern dread and echoed whispers abilities - and it is this tie-in of flavor and mechanics that actually feels like you thought about this enough to make some decisions that are fully realized.

I think this is well different from the boggle that appeared in ADnD's A2: Secret of the Slaver's Stockade...

Liberty's Edge Contributor, RPG Superstar 2012 , Star Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 9

This is the third monster I've reviewed, and the third fey or fey-themed monster I've encountered. Fey are a good fit for an urban environment, though, so I shouldn't be surprised.

The bogle's abilities are really only effective in an urban environment (or perhaps a particularly whispery wood), so I think you did a great job of making this a truly urban monster. Additionally, I like the Golarion ties in the Verduran Forest and Darkmoon Wood, which seem appropriate for the bogle.

The bloody, maddening fey trope is well-covered, but I think you've got a clever enough angle on it (again, the urban ties helped in this regard).

Overall, I'm leaning towards voting for the bogle. Good luck in this round.

Sczarni RPG Superstar 2014 Top 32 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9 aka Arkos

Thanks to everyone who submitted feedback! This has certainly been an educational experience, and I'm very happy to have some critiques I can really work with.

Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 9

The Echoing Whispers ability should be adjusted. If it's the mutterings that cause the tension, then it should be a sonic effect, negated by silence or noting that 'creatures within 90' that can hear them' are affected.

A shaken effect is not so terrible and bonuses and resistances to fear effects are quite common. The effects of fear on those who fail should remain in effect for as long as they remain within 90' and perhaps 1 minute afterwards, requiring a save each time they enter. Once a save is made, than 24 immunity is fine. The reason for this is because of Discern Dread.

The Discern Dread ability seems cool, but almost useless to this creature since at best, it gets 2 to 5 rounds of blindsense, and only against creatures under fear effects (theoretically from any source, but realistically it will only be applying to its Echoing Whispers ability.)

As it stands, assume your creature is stalking a foggy street. A person standing on a corner 90' hears muttering and gets scared. The bogle senses them and then there's a good chance that even if it double moves 80' towards them with it's 20' speed it loses them in the fog, even if they did nothing but stand still or quiver or cower and now they're immune to it.

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