Apparently the messageboard decided to eat my first attempt at posting this, so I'm typing it again. Have decided to try and shorten it since I can't be bothered typing the whole thing again.
Situation is this. We play Pathfinder fortnightly, running alternate sessions of Reign of Winter and Shattered Star (I run Shattered Star, a friend runs Reign of Winter). The Snows of Summer and Shards of Sin both wrapped up around the same time, so I said I'd run a short-run Hollowpoint game (3 to 4 sessions).
Now, here's where my problem starts. I'd like some honest opinions from uninvolved 3rd parties to see if my feelings on this are understandable, or if I'm being unreasonable. Now, please note, I'm not saying I have a problem with players cancelling on a session. I understand, s*$@ happens, and sometimes sessions get delayed. Hell, I had to delay the game by over a month because I had to travel for work, and I host the sessions. My problem here is the fact that they all left telling me til the last minute, when they KNEW I was going to be unavailable for a couple of hours before the session was scheduled to start.
Due to being ridiculously busy this week at work, I didn't have time to do more than write up an introductory letter and print it (I always hand out physical letters from the employers in Hollowpoint games to start them off) during the week, so I spent over 7 hours on Saturday writing the game up (A oneshot takes me an hour or so, but I had to come up with a whole new setting for this as we wanted to try a genre swap to urban fantasy instead of gritty crime fiction, as well as having to come up with a longer story arc). I was working on it from 8:00 AM til 3:45 PM, which was when I had to leave home to take a couple of my young cousins to see A Letter to Momo at the cinema. I had made my players aware that I was doing this, since it necessitated pushing the game back to a 7:00 start as the movie wouldn't get out til 6:30 or so. They knew I'd be out of contact for 2 hours or so. I hadn't heard anything about not being able to make it before hand, so I went into the movie assuming everything would be fine for the session. When I got out at 6:30 and turned my phone on, I received three messages from players saying they couldn't make it. All of them had good reasons, but also could have told me much earlier, as none of it was sudden.
- One player had commission deadlines for Warhammer mini painting he was doing coming up - He knew about this well in advance, but left it til he knew I was unavailable to message me.
- The second player messaged me around 5:00 as well, advising that he was still sick after being off work for 3 days. Again, why the hell not tell me in the morning or at least before I went to the movies?
- The last one to cancel said it was because his dog had been throwing up all day, and he didn't want to leave his girlfriend without a car. This is despite the fact that he lives with the one player who said he could still make it, and could have easily got a lift with him (they normally take turns driving).
It ended up being cancelled because I need a minimum of two players for Hollowpoint. I was pretty ticked off about this, because I'd spent what now felt like a wasted day working on it when I could have been getting my laundry under control, studying for my SharePoint certification exams or even just catching up on some video games. But I cooled off, got some stuff done in the evening, and figured that since it's a long weekend, maybe we could have a catch-up session on Sunday night since no one had work on Monday.
I sent a message out at 10:00 AM Sunday morning checking availability. By 7:00 PM, I'd received ONE response. From the sick guy. Who had apparently already made plans despite being too sick to come out the night before. The others were unable to take the two minutes needed to send me a response during that 9 hour window. They've all been on Steam playing various games throughout the day. Considering that two of these people get extremely irritated when people don't respond to their messages, I've starting to feel pretty angry about this myself.
So, seriously. Are my players being inconsiderate here, or am I just overreacting horrifically?
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
While I of course can ever be fully aware of all the nuances of the situation, this definitely seem inconsiderate to me. I would be irritated if I had my group do this.
Generally I don't invest nearly that much time in prepping for sessions (perhaps I should, but my players are the type to go off the rails with really out-there choices and strategies, so I try to keep myself open in my plans), I would STILL be irritated just by virtue of the fact that no one told me in advance when it clearly was not because of an emergency or something else that came up without warning.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
In short yes, they're being inconsiderate.
And you can't do anything about it.
So instead of sitting and stewing, worrying about the why's and how deeply you should resent them, just let them hang. don't set up another session for you to gm, and play as a player a while. let it go.
Shit like this happens all the time, and you need to lay a good foundation for you and your friends to go forward. for whatever reason they've individually or as a group decided to start bailing out for other things. It being so late, that's usually a sign of the guilt they feel, holding off until the very last minute, until they absolutely had to contact you about it.
Odds are, if you don't make a big deal of it, and in a way blow them off in your own way, they'll start asking why. And you'll tell them. Tell them you got the hint, whatever their specific reasons were, and you didn't want to make a big deal of it. Meanwhile you can take the free time you have now and think up new stuff to run, and recharge your batteries.
|
While it does sound as though they are being inconsiderate, it also sounds like to me they don't want to play Hollowpoint. I've had similar experiences where we stray from D&D or Pathfinder, and suddenly everyone has something come up last minute. This is of course putting my own experience on your situation and could be completely wrong, but I'd recommend to look into that possibility as well.
I agree. Is the one person who didn't blow you off the one who is supposed to run the game for the following week? If that's the case, I wonder how that is going to go.
While it does sound as though they are being inconsiderate, it also sounds like to me they don't want to play Hollowpoint. I've had similar experiences where we stray from D&D or Pathfinder, and suddenly everyone has something come up last minute. This is of course putting my own experience on your situation and could be completely wrong, but I'd recommend to look into that possibility as well.
Knowing my group, I don't think that's it. I know for a fact that the sick player actually was off work for a few days with illness, given that he and another player work together, and the three of us email each other on a very regular basis pretty much every day at work (helps stave off client induced insanity). The vomiting dog I can believe, that sausage dog will eat anything whether it's digestible or not, and the commissions, well, that player does take on a lot of painting jobs. Like I said, it's not the cancelling that annoys me, it's the last minute nature of it, and the lack of response to my text despite the fact that I'm expected to respond within an hour of receiving one from them.
Only two members haven't played Hollowpoint in this group. One of them was the guy who was still going to make it, and the other is the one who had commission deadlines, and out of all of us he was the one pushing the hardest for a Hollowpoint game. The player who was sick, and the one who had a sick dog have both played Hollowpoint with me before, and absolutely loved it. It's not like this is an unusual thing for our group, we often have short breaks for other games in between books.
Next week is meant to be Hollowpoint again. The idea was to play this short-run game for a few weeks so that we have a chance to unwind from playing traditional fantasy after months of that.
Ellis Mirari: Regarding the amount of time I'd put in, I normally wouldn't put anywhere near that amount of time into prep in a single session, but this was a case of "the game is tonight and I haven't had a chance to do anything all weekend", and I was prepping the whole story arc at the same time (completely fleshing out the world, setting up the first session, and getting a skeleton of the continuing story ready for sessions 2, 3 and possible 4).
shadowmage75: I wouldn't say I resent them. I'm just disappointed more than anything now. While I like your idea of just dropping it, the problem is that the format for our group is me running a game on week A, the other guy running the week B game. The exception is the break sessions. If only one of the campaigns is on break, I'll run a oneshot or a couple of nights of board/card games. If, like this time, both campaigns have hit a break point, I run a short campaign in another system. What this means is that I have to actually tell them if the game isn't going to be on, because otherwise they'll all just show up at my house expecting me to be ready to run something.
I'm already starting to feel less angry about it anyway. Unlike when I was in high school, and I'd hold anger for a long time without showing it, these days I tend to get very visibly angry for a short time, then let it go. More than anything I just kind of feel like I've been taken for granted, and it's a bit dispiriting. I'm one of two GMs in the group, and I'm the only one who puts any significant amount of time into prep (and believe me, the lack of prep in the Reign of Winter game shows. It's still fun, but it's obvious that the GM has no idea what's coming up in the next 5 minutes, let alone the rest of the adventure). The players tell me that they love my games, and have a great time, but they don't seem to understand that for me to run a game like that, I have to actually spend my spare time getting ready for it.
Things like this happen. I have people in both of my games dealing with moving issues, and one pair of people in another group dealing with their house being renovated, and that's caused issues because that's where we play. Hell man, I'm the dm and I had bedbugs, which needed to be addressed. Things go wrong. You can't let it get to you.
Ask them why they were so late responding. I would tell them I was frustrated when they all cancelled at the last minute. Tell them it was inconsiderate. They need to hear this, we don't.
Your players are wrong, and the two that hate getting messages late would be questioned if it was me. <---I am not saying you should do this.. :)
| 4 people marked this as a favorite. |
Freehold DM, I don't think anybody's arguing the "stuff happens" point. The problem is that you have to let your GM know "stuff happened" ASAP. That's not a matter of the game being more important than real life, it's a matter of showing courtesy to your friend.
| 6 people marked this as a favorite. |
I rarely factor in the amount of time I put into prepping for a session into any calculus for my reaction to people being able to play or not. It's all the same in the end, and if I put in a bunch of effort for a session that gets canceled, that generally just means I am can relax in advance of the next session.
Having said that, this comes across to me as a fairly typical situation with people dealing with real life and game priorities. In many cases people respond at the last minute because they truly haven't made up their mind until then.
I would probably just politely ask everyone to let me know earlier in the future and just start getting ready for the next session. I would do my best not to let it get to me. Life's too short and gaming is too rare for me to let stuff like this make my gaming less fun.
In general, I have low expectations of people in general and gamers in particular. Still, they manage to disappoint me from time to time. It sounds like they're inconsiderate and a bit hypocritical, but not malicious. It's about par for the course for human beings, a notoriously difficult species.
Apparently the messageboard decided to eat my first attempt at posting this, so I'm typing it again. Have decided to try and shorten it since I can't be bothered typing the whole thing again.
This sounds like a job for Lazarus!
Regarding your scheduling woes, a failure to communicate ticks me off too, so I wouldn't fault you for feeling upset. While it should be common courtesy, you might want to explain to your players that you'd rather get a heads-up on whether they can make it sooner rather than later so you can actually enjoy a nice day, etc.
As for all of them IMing you while you were offline, while it was certainly within the realm of possibility for them to realize you'd be offline, IME such details are often lost on others. I'd be surprised if it was intentional timing rather than just them running on auto-pilot.
Like AD points out though, at least you're already prepped for the next few sessions now. Always helps to be able to find those silver-linings. :)
|
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
It could be they wanted to play and hoped they would be alright, but in the end at the last had to admit they couldn't. I'd just make the point to them that it's best to give warning since a GM's time commitment is greater than a player's, and therefore you would like to know more in advance so you don't end up doing, or not doing, stuff you might otherwise.
When did you inform them that you would be going to the movies and not gaming at your group's regular time?
I won't speak for the mini painting guy, but I know that often when people are sick (or their pets/sig others/children) they put of cancelling things until the last minute, in the hope that the situation will improve and they can go and NOT have to cancel.
I have least sympathy for the mini painting guy - I think he's just being disorganised and inconsiderate.
The player who was sick could well have been leaving it to the last minute to see how he felt. (If he'd been really sick for three days he could also just have lost track of what day it was or let time slip away on Saturday). Personally, I'd let that slide unless its a regular thing - although it sounds like he answered promptly on Sunday, so my guess would be its an aberration.
The sick dog is a pretty weak excuse. It's possible that his girlfriend asked him to stay home, possibly quite late in the proceedings. In that case, I think I'd understand.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Oh man. Been asleept for the last 7 hours or so. Time for a lengthy response.
When did you inform them that you would be going to the movies and not gaming at your group's regular time?
At the previous week's session, then again in the initial email sent out to the group early in the week, and once more in the follow up email on Friday (I setup a distribution list for the group back when we first started playing).
Looks like its time for you to re establish your authority to the group. Next time you run a game, do a TPK.
Hah, I think I'd rather avoid that. In Pathfinder, I don't pull punches, but I don't deliberately try to end them as well. I try to play the enemies in a logical way (wolves acting as a pack, things like that). In Hollowpoint, a TPK is pretty much expected from time to time, and can losing your character is actually the only way to "level" when you bring back your next character. It's kind of like a Paranoia situation.
This sounds like a job for Lazarus!
Regarding your scheduling woes, a failure to communicate ticks me off too, so I wouldn't fault you for feeling upset. While it should be common courtesy, you might want to explain to your players that you'd rather get a heads-up on whether they can make it sooner rather than later so you can actually enjoy a nice day, etc.
...
Like AD points out though, at least you're already prepped for the next few sessions now. Always helps to be able to find those silver-linings. :)
How have I not heard of Lazarus before? A thousand thanks! And yes, I'm looking at it from a "At least the majority of the prep work for the whole story" is done now. It's helping sifnificantly.
I have least sympathy for the mini painting guy - I think he's just being disorganised and inconsiderate.
The player who was sick could well have been leaving it to the last minute to see how he felt. (If he'd been really sick for three days he could also just have lost track of what day it was or let time slip away on Saturday). Personally, I'd let that slide unless its a regular thing - although it sounds like he answered promptly on Sunday, so my guess would be its an aberration.
The sick dog is a pretty weak excuse. It's possible that his girlfriend asked him to stay home, possibly quite late in the proceedings. In that case, I think I'd understand.
Disorganised is a perfect description of that particular player. Really nice guy, but very disorganised and can be hard to deal with if you don't know him.
Yeah, the sick guy is pretty good normally. And I can understand his losing track of time at least. As for the dog reasoning, if his girlfriend asked him to stay home just in case, then I have no issue with it. I just would have preferred him to say "Hey, my missus wants me at home in case something happens to the dog" rather than "I can't leave her without a car" when he normally carpools with one of the other players anyway.
To all responders: Seriously, thank you for your thoughts and opinions on this. It's great to know that the Paizo community is around when things like this come up so I can get some outside perspective of situations before going back to the players. It really helps to have a sounding board for stuff like this.
After sleeping on it and reading your opinions/advice, I'm feeling much better about the whole situation. Taking some comfort from the fact that it means I need less prep time next session, and I will be talking (calmly) with the players about wanting them to let me know earlier if they can.
Hey TG.....
Where I work (evil financial institution) and the nature of my work can lead me to cancel at the last min. I usually get an inkling of impending work crazy a few days before, so I do my best to let my GM know in advance.
Sometimes after doing 12-14 hours on a Thursday I am so stuffed by Friday I know I will fall asleep at the table, so I will cancel. I always contact the GM beforehand with as much leed time as possible.
Just give them a reminder to let you know as soon as possible.
Hey 8th.
Yeah, I'm planning on just reminding them about it next session. I'll be asking why they didn't respond to my text message as well, but I'll be keeping it all very polite.
For a while, the OP's complaint was a regular occurrence in my old groups. We also had a ton of players, so games still happened, but we were missing at least 1-3 players every session.
Nowadays, since we get to game once or twice regularly, players are a lot more dedicated and considerate.
Adding to what AD said; don't put such an emphasis on the time you spent prepping the game, you'll just make yourself crazy. Don't treat the game like a 9-5 job, or you'll suck the life right out of it, and nobody will want to play. You've already prepped so much, just take it easy until next session.
I've ran games in the past, where we wound up cancelling after I spent a huge amount of time prepping, and all that meant was I was free to take it easy the following week, and just refresh myself the day of the game. Relax, man.
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
The old guard of our gaming groups have a saying, organising a game is like herding cats.
|
Canceling the day of is unacceptable unless the circumstances warrant it. If they were fully aware that they wouldn't be able to attend in advance but decided to tell you the day of they are being extremely inconsiderate. I have dealt with players who did this in the past. My approach is to let them know individually that I found it rude and that if it happens again I will replace them in the group. That usually stops it.
|
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Canceling the day of is unacceptable unless the circumstances warrant it. If they were fully aware that they wouldn't be able to attend in advance but decided to tell you the day of they are being extremely inconsiderate. I have dealt with players who did this in the past. My approach is to let them know individually that I found it rude and that if it happens again I will replace them in the group. That usually stops it.
What he said. Also, it absolutely doesn't matter if they are friends or not.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Canceling the day of is unacceptable unless the circumstances warrant it. If they were fully aware that they wouldn't be able to attend in advance but decided to tell you the day of they are being extremely inconsiderate. I have dealt with players who did this in the past. My approach is to let them know individually that I found it rude and that if it happens again I will replace them in the group. That usually stops it.What he said. Also, it absolutely doesn't matter if they are friends or not.
Given that this is the first time they've done it, I don't think I'll be threatening to replace anyone. Even if I wanted to, which I don't, since overall this has been the best group I've had in ages (despite this one occurrence), there isn't such a huge roleplaying community here that I could just pick and choose players like that.
These are my friends as well, and I think it does matter. I prefer to play with my friends, since I know them and know how to build a game that suits them.
Canceling the day of is unacceptable unless the circumstances warrant it. If they were fully aware that they wouldn't be able to attend in advance but decided to tell you the day of they are being extremely inconsiderate. I have dealt with players who did this in the past. My approach is to let them know individually that I found it rude and that if it happens again I will replace them in the group. That usually stops it.
To each their own, but to me this sounds very harsh. The only amount of notice I need is roughly before I head out the door to the game.
As for "replacing" players, do you have a waiting list of people ready to play? I find that kicking a friend out of a friendly social activity for missing two games to be a good way to wind up losing more friends eventually.
Canceling the day of is unacceptable unless the circumstances warrant it. If they were fully aware that they wouldn't be able to attend in advance but decided to tell you the day of they are being extremely inconsiderate. I have dealt with players who did this in the past. My approach is to let them know individually that I found it rude and that if it happens again I will replace them in the group. That usually stops it.What he said. Also, it absolutely doesn't matter if they are friends or not.
Are your players employees? "Doesn't matter if they are friends or not..." That sounds like a business decision, not a gaming one.
Are your players employees? "Doesn't matter if they are friends or not..." That sounds like a business decision, not a gaming one.Canceling the day of is unacceptable unless the circumstances warrant it. If they were fully aware that they wouldn't be able to attend in advance but decided to tell you the day of they are being extremely inconsiderate. I have dealt with players who did this in the past. My approach is to let them know individually that I found it rude and that if it happens again I will replace them in the group. That usually stops it.What he said. Also, it absolutely doesn't matter if they are friends or not.
We're getting to differences in group structure again.
For some, gaming is run at stores where it may very much be a part of the GM's job there to prep for and run games. The players might also not be friends away from the table, or a few might be friends while others are simple customers. In that context, one should NOT show preferential treatment and give the friend loads of slack while the regular store goes get the shaft after a couple of cancellations.
I think that's what he meant.
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
I think the players were a little inconsiderate and I think you're overreacting a bit. People usually have good intentions about this sort of thing - maybe they thought they could make it and held out as long as they could under the assumption they could make it to the game but, ultimately, decided the conflict was too high. I could see that particularly with the case of the sick player and the one with the sick dog.
It's a bummer when the session is called off at the last minute, but that's about all it is. Any time you invested getting ready for it should still be useful when you actually do sit down for the game, so aside from facing a little extra stress, your time wasn't really wasted.
|
|
Are your players employees? "Doesn't matter if they are friends or not..." That sounds like a business decision, not a gaming one.Canceling the day of is unacceptable unless the circumstances warrant it. If they were fully aware that they wouldn't be able to attend in advance but decided to tell you the day of they are being extremely inconsiderate. I have dealt with players who did this in the past. My approach is to let them know individually that I found it rude and that if it happens again I will replace them in the group. That usually stops it.What he said. Also, it absolutely doesn't matter if they are friends or not.
No, but i prefer my players not messing with me. Also, we can still be friends, we just don't game anymore. I take my gaming seriously, if other people don't, i don't see a reason of keeping them around for that particular activity.
@Tinkergoth
What Asphere meant is, i think, that you should mention replacing them, not replacing them for real.
Are your players employees? "Doesn't matter if they are friends or not..." That sounds like a business decision, not a gaming one.Canceling the day of is unacceptable unless the circumstances warrant it. If they were fully aware that they wouldn't be able to attend in advance but decided to tell you the day of they are being extremely inconsiderate. I have dealt with players who did this in the past. My approach is to let them know individually that I found it rude and that if it happens again I will replace them in the group. That usually stops it.What he said. Also, it absolutely doesn't matter if they are friends or not.No, but i prefer my players not messing with me. Also, we can still be friends, we just don't game anymore. I take my gaming seriously, if other people don't, i don't see a reason of keeping them around for that particular activity.
@Tinkergoth
What Asphere meant is, i think, that you should mention replacing them, not replacing them for real.
Maybe I just don't have your passion. I just think that the players being friends matters dramatically, is all. If someone winds up being a real problem at the table, the problem will be dealt with. Calling off the day of the game? Not that big of a deal. Maybe I'm too tolerant. I just value the time spent with my friends more than I value a board game. YMMV.
If I were in that situation (and I have been) where I was really trying to get things in order to I could game but at the last minute it just fell apart, I would at least give the GM fair warning that I might not be able to come, an explain why. That way he can plan to have one of us absent, or if it looks like only one person is a definite show, just cancel it. For a couple of them it sounds like this might have been the case, but the guys who said they were busy and then spent most of the time playing games on steam? Yeah, that's suspicious.
See, I don't like "fair warnings" and "might not be able to come," because those just throw the game up in the air. I've seen those a lot, and although the person had the truest intentions and was just trying to help, they only successfully confused the crap out of everyone involved; 1 person says they "might not make it, but might, not sure..." and then I've got 5 other people hounding me as to whether we are actually gaming or not.
If you're not sure, just call it off and be safe.
|
|
Canceling the day of is unacceptable unless the circumstances warrant it. If they were fully aware that they wouldn't be able to attend in advance but decided to tell you the day of they are being extremely inconsiderate. I have dealt with players who did this in the past. My approach is to let them know individually that I found it rude and that if it happens again I will replace them in the group. That usually stops it.To each their own, but to me this sounds very harsh. The only amount of notice I need is roughly before I head out the door to the game.
As for "replacing" players, do you have a waiting list of people ready to play? I find that kicking a friend out of a friendly social activity for missing two games to be a good way to wind up losing more friends eventually.
Well I am pretty flexible about which "circumstances warrant it". However, I have allotted my very limited time to planning the session as well as turned down other social activities so that I could be available to GM. If people aren't turning up for petty reasons and potentially ruining games I would look for people who are more reliable and get rid of those who consider the game to be "something to do if nothing better comes along".
Also, I have done this with friends and we are still friends. I just tell them that I am going to replace them with someone who wants to play more frequently and maybe they can play every now and then if someone is unable to make it or I think and extra player works for that session. Typically players who are flaky aren't really devastated by losing their permanent spot.
|
|
Are your players employees? "Doesn't matter if they are friends or not..." That sounds like a business decision, not a gaming one.Canceling the day of is unacceptable unless the circumstances warrant it. If they were fully aware that they wouldn't be able to attend in advance but decided to tell you the day of they are being extremely inconsiderate. I have dealt with players who did this in the past. My approach is to let them know individually that I found it rude and that if it happens again I will replace them in the group. That usually stops it.What he said. Also, it absolutely doesn't matter if they are friends or not.We're getting to differences in group structure again.
For some, gaming is run at stores where it may very much be a part of the GM's job there to prep for and run games. The players might also not be friends away from the table, or a few might be friends while others are simple customers. In that context, one should NOT show preferential treatment and give the friend loads of slack while the regular store goes get the shaft after a couple of cancellations.
I think that's what he meant.
Pretty much. Though I am not GMing in a store the structure is similar. I met my current group by throwing up an advert for players. I live in the DC area so there were lots of responses. We became friends through the regularly scheduled game.
|
|
Are your players employees? "Doesn't matter if they are friends or not..." That sounds like a business decision, not a gaming one.Canceling the day of is unacceptable unless the circumstances warrant it. If they were fully aware that they wouldn't be able to attend in advance but decided to tell you the day of they are being extremely inconsiderate. I have dealt with players who did this in the past. My approach is to let them know individually that I found it rude and that if it happens again I will replace them in the group. That usually stops it.What he said. Also, it absolutely doesn't matter if they are friends or not.No, but i prefer my players not messing with me. Also, we can still be friends, we just don't game anymore. I take my gaming seriously, if other people don't, i don't see a reason of keeping them around for that particular activity.
@Tinkergoth
What Asphere meant is, i think, that you should mention replacing them, not replacing them for real.
Actually I meant replacing them using a hit man. There is a lake near my house that is full of the bodies of inconsiderate tabletop gamers :D
|
|
Maybe I just don't have your passion. I just think that the players being friends matters dramatically, is all. If someone winds up being a real problem at the table, the problem will be dealt with. Calling off the day of the game? Not that big of a deal. Maybe I'm too tolerant. I just value the time spent with my friends more than I value a board game. YMMV.Are your players employees? "Doesn't matter if they are friends or not..." That sounds like a business decision, not a gaming one.Canceling the day of is unacceptable unless the circumstances warrant it. If they were fully aware that they wouldn't be able to attend in advance but decided to tell you the day of they are being extremely inconsiderate. I have dealt with players who did this in the past. My approach is to let them know individually that I found it rude and that if it happens again I will replace them in the group. That usually stops it.What he said. Also, it absolutely doesn't matter if they are friends or not.No, but i prefer my players not messing with me. Also, we can still be friends, we just don't game anymore. I take my gaming seriously, if other people don't, i don't see a reason of keeping them around for that particular activity.
@Tinkergoth
What Asphere meant is, i think, that you should mention replacing them, not replacing them for real.
You must be playing with people who have been your friends externally to the game for some time - your tolerance is more understandable if that is the case. The people I play with I have met through gaming. The ones I have now are my friends because they weren't inconsiderate jerks who repeatedly canceled on our group - we weeded those people out.
Also, the medium for the social activity may simply be a game, however, the preparations to GM it and host it equal time and in some cases money. Additionally, the GM and other players may have had opportunities to do something else the night of the game and are now left sitting at home without plans if the game falls through.
Maybe I just don't have your passion. I just think that the players being friends matters dramatically, is all. If someone winds up being a real problem at the table, the problem will be dealt with. Calling off the day of the game? Not that big of a deal. Maybe I'm too tolerant. I just value the time spent with my friends more than I value a board game. YMMV.Are your players employees? "Doesn't matter if they are friends or not..." That sounds like a business decision, not a gaming one.Canceling the day of is unacceptable unless the circumstances warrant it. If they were fully aware that they wouldn't be able to attend in advance but decided to tell you the day of they are being extremely inconsiderate. I have dealt with players who did this in the past. My approach is to let them know individually that I found it rude and that if it happens again I will replace them in the group. That usually stops it.What he said. Also, it absolutely doesn't matter if they are friends or not.No, but i prefer my players not messing with me. Also, we can still be friends, we just don't game anymore. I take my gaming seriously, if other people don't, i don't see a reason of keeping them around for that particular activity.
@Tinkergoth
What Asphere meant is, i think, that you should mention replacing them, not replacing them for real.
You must be playing with people who have been your friends externally to the game for some time - your tolerance is more understandable if that is the case. The people I play with I have met through gaming. The ones I have now are my friends because they weren't inconsiderate jerks who repeatedly canceled on our group - we weeded those people out.
Also, the medium for the social activity may simply be a game, however, the preparations to GM it and host it equal time and in some cases money. Additionally, the GM and other players may have...
Which is whay I said; "If someone winds up being a real problem at the table, the problem will be dealt with." If someone is repeatedly cancelling, messing up other player's allotted time, etc, then handle the problem. I'm not making excuses for uninterested parties. I've booted plenty of players in the past for that kind of thing.
Actually I meant replacing them using a hit man. There is a lake near my house that is full of the bodies of inconsiderate tabletop gamers :D
I am terrified with images of "Cabin by the Lake" in my head.