I cast Mispell magic on AM H. Now instead of Reverse Gravity, it's Return Gravity. He falls on the otyugh.
Misspell magic? Hmmm... No. You are merely level 1. Direball, Fish and Colon Spray are still a few levels away.
So, you have crossed the bridge beyond the doorway. There is a cylindric item lying on the ground in front of a half-open door to the left, near the glowing coin. Under the item is a large pool of bleach. The corridor goes further into the darkness.
What are you doing?
GRAAAARH BAD RATS TRAP DOOR TO HOME. THEY HURT GURG BAD.
Taking a sample of the bleach and try to identify it.
It seems to be regular bleach from the bucket lying in the pool. Probably not the best idea to muck around with it. Gurg seems unhappy about it.
*Knocks AM out of the way before he can get on his knees to drink it.*
Do you really want to drink something an otyugh has been bathing in?
THIS OTYUGH IS MY B+#&~ NOW.
*flies away looking for more competent adventurers*
Hey, Nesod, you'll get a replacement familiar in 4-6 weeks.
AM H: You can't get at the bleach pool without letting go of the otyugh. However, it is entirely drenched in the stuff, and you have enough of the stuff all over you. But wait! The alkaline bleach neutralizes the acid all over your face, restoring your charisma to normal! You can take off the Christine Daae mask now!
Okay, folks, the room to the left spreads an ungodly stench of rotting snacks and stale alcohol. Gurg seems somewhat protective of the place. Further on is more corridor, and at least another door. Roll Intelligence to spot the little holes the rats made at ground level.
GRAAAAAARGH HOME... TREASURES THERE...
Int: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (19) + 2 = 21
Intelligence Check: 1d20 ⇒ 13
MY INT IS 6 SO I FAIL.
HEY OTYUGH B&$&@, CAN I HAVE YOUR SNACKS?
Int: 1d20 - 2 ⇒ (8) - 2 = 6
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HEY CHICKEN THING LET'S KILL THE RANGER AND SPLIT THE LOOT
EDIT: MT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A PRIVATE INSTANT MESSAGE, DISREGARD
P.S. HOW DO I DELETE THIS
The chicken thing fled already. It knew what you were planning and wanted no part of it. Sic em Bear.
Raaarrh.
Attack: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (19) + 6 = 25
Damage: 1d6 + 5 ⇒ (3) + 5 = 8
A coin falls from a small hole in the ceiling. It may even be a GOLD COIN!!!
GRRRRRGH NO STOOOPID HUMAN NO GET GURG TREASURES!!! GRAAAASK!!!
OLOLOL FULL PLATE WITH ARMOR TRAINING AND MY DEX, AC IS 25
WAIT
DAMMIT
WHY DON'T YOU GO EAT SOME PORRIDGE INSTEAD, BEAR
I use all of my essence to try to materialize, or wail creepily. If there is a ball on the ground I will attempt to move it. Maybe I will slip into the rat holes as a cold mist.
WAIT THERE ARE RAT HOLES?
*Checks out the coin and the hole it fell out of.*
This looks interesting.
Jacky: You need to make an intelligence check to notice the rat holes. You do manage to materialize, though.
AM H: Sorry, you don't see the rat holes. Gurg doesn't seem to want to go into the room to his treasures.
Alissa: The coin seems to be gold. It's shiny and minted with a decapitated hen running. It's lying on the ground. The hole in the ceiling is about ten feet up.
Everyone, you see a human figure appearing from nowhere, plopping down on the corridor floor. It is wailing. It has a headdress that looks sort of Egyptian, sorry Scarabian. Scarabia is the Egypt of my setting.
Appraise: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (18) + 2 = 20
Anything special about the coin.
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Gassy: You need to roll for turning undead.
Alissa: The coin is a gold coin from what appears to be the Dyun'hxwaiin-thufora period of the Gibwolondrian Empire, the decadent period before it was smashed by the might of Muzzai'nubburt, its rival and archenemy, in the Dawn Thunder Shadow wars, from 328 BRT to 287 BRT. Like all such coins, it has odd, probably demonic runes around its edge. You think it would probably be worth about 1 gp.
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How long ago was 328 to 287 BRT?
About 1600 years. The current year is 904 ACR. Or season 1291 of the Argent Conclave. Or the First Winter of Thoggbur the Massacrator's reign.
WHEN DO WE GET TO FIGHT STUFF
I MEAN OTHER THAN THE RANGER'S STUPID BEAR
P.S. OLD MAN I BET YOU KNOW THOSE DATES BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN ALIVE THAT LONG AHAHAHA
Survival Check: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (6) + 7 = 13
Are we under a bank?
If so, I blow a hole upwards and shout "This is a stickup!"
Seems to be a corridor under the tavern room above. The hole in the ceiling seems to be a crack brought on by simple wear and tear. You can even hear bad music from there, if you strain your ears.
Ok, so there's no point in looting the joint. I pull out my eleven foot pole and beat the "Scarabian" with it.
*Pockets the coin.*
Lets continue the search for the rats.
IS THE EGYPTIAN PERSON HOT?
Gassy: The Scarabian person seems to be turned. It is cowering against the wall, anyway. Not that any sane person wouldn't.
Nessy: You need to roll to hit for that.
Babby: You just got something to fight. Willya lookit that. And if that's not enough, maybe we can add in a random encounter.
Alissa: You get 1 XP for the GP value of the coin.
AM H: Right now, it's cowering and trying to get away from the Gazebo. It is a bit hard to judge. Your otyugh seems to think it looks tasty, judging from the extra slobbering and gurgling it's doing.
Attack Roll: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2
Lower is better, right?
1d4 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5
"HEY EGYPTIAN. YOU WANT TO HAVE A THREESOME WITH MY OTYUGH?"
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The otyugh doesn't seem picky either. It seems hungry.
WAIT WHY ARE THERE EGYPT PEOPLE HERE
ARE WE IN EGYPT
I THOUGHT WE WERE IN SOME BURROW TOMB
P.S. WAIT WHAT AM I FIGHTING
No. You need to roll high to hit something. THAC0 and all that. What you do is make a critical fumble!!! You swing your eleven-foot pole, hit the wall, the shock makes you drop the pole, which bounces to hit Alissa in the foot. She takes your damage, and can't run or jump!
AHAHAHAHAHA YOU CAN'T HANDLE YOUR POLE
CON is one of my weakest stats!!!
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