OK SO FORT SAVE:
Fort Save: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (15) + 5 = 20
OH MAN IT IS SO GOOD TO BE FULL BAB AND HAVE AWESOME SAVES
OK SO WHEN I CAN MOVE AFTER THE SURPRISE ROUND I WILL JUS-
WAIT WHO SAID CLEAVAGE SOMEONE SAID CLEAVAGE
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Fort Save: 1d20 ⇒ 8
Ok, but before I puke I cast Summon Bigger Fish on the otyugh. Have it make a reflex save or be Pinned.
AM H: You are indeed falling into the ceiling, which thankfully has no evil traps that you can see. However, as you vomit, you barf up the water you just drank, leaving you hovering still in midair between the bowl and the ceiling. It seems you are pretty much weightless.
Alissa: You hit the otyugh with your arrow. It stops, and turns its eye tentacle to look at you guys. It keeps flailing its spike tentacles around the room. It screams "RAAAAAAAARGH STOOOPID HUMANS!!!! BAD RATS!!!"
Nessy: Hmmm, it is uncertain whether the fish summoning worked. So far, there is little result from it.
Babby: You see a wallet stuck in Alissa's cleavage. Presumably, it's hers.
Okay, next turn. What are you guys doing?
Look at otyugh. "Hey wait, what's this about rats? We were hired to kill the rats. Help us help you." While I get a hand on my Alchemist's Foul-Smelling Wind.
FELLOW DEVOURER SPEAKS OF RATS. SPEAK TO US WHERE ARE RATS.
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RAAAAAARGH RATS EAT MY GARBAGE!!! STOOOPID RATS!!! RATS THROW BAD THINGY AT ME!!! IT BUUUUUUUUURNS!!! GRAAAAAAARGH!!!
*POOF*
Big Fishy is sorry Big Fishy is late. Summon spell is 1 round casting time...
*flops on the floor*
I look at the otyugh "Fine and dandy, but where are they!?!"
GRURGH BACK CORRIDOR!!!
GUH FISH!!! SMELL... FRESH??? ... HUUUUUUNRGY!!!
The otyugh moves closer to Fishy, licking its (now white) lips.
KICK FISHY TO FELLOW DEVOURER
HEAD TO BACK CORRIDOR
BAB ROGUE GO FIRST LOOK FOR TRAP
HEY GUYS I FOUND A CORRIDOR OVER HERE
SORRY I GOT DISTRACTED FOR AWHILE BY BREAST WALLETS
OKAY PERCEPTION FOR TRAPFINDING
Trapfinding: 1d20 + 24 ⇒ (9) + 24 = 33
ALSO TRAP SPOTTER TALENT LOL SO OLD MAN YOU HAVE TO TELL ME ABOUT THE TRAPS
THAT IS IF YOU CAN REMEMBER THEM BECAUSE YOU ARE SO OLD
AHAHAHAHA
CAN I PUKE AGAIN AS A STANDARD ACTION? WILL IT LET ME FALL TO THE GROUND?
Fishy: We're going to need another save vs Horrendous Devouring here. Or it's the same story again. It's at +0, though, because the otyugh is hurting bad. If you make this, you should think about taking refuge in the bowl of water. Perhaps you could flop there.
Babby: There... hmmm...
*turns map upside down*
Did we do the crap pyramid yet? No? Ah well. We'll get to that later, then.
*scratches his head*
There is only a little pit trap where the corridor begins. The... ummm... the otyugh must have jumped it because it was moving so fast. Yes. That's it. Dex check to do the same.
AM H: It would make you spin in midair, you think. The otyugh may be within arm's reach, though.
*punt*
Ow. Big Fishy would bite 8(=) but, being summoned fishy, is compelled to only attack summoner's opponents. Being summoned fishy sucks.
*flops on the floor, gasping*
Save: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (4) + 3 = 7
Big Fishy doubts that makes it.
*POOF*
I WANT TO RIDE THE OTYUGH'S BACK. CAN I RIDE IT?
The otyugh munches up the fishy. As the fishy dies, it disappears poof! The otyugh looks confused, then you hear a big, slow rumble somewhere in the otyugh.
AM H: What you could grab is its eye tentacle. From there, you could possibly clamber onto its back. You'll need a dexterity check, though.
ROFL
DEX CHECK?!
OKAY ALSO HOW GOOD IS IT TO HAVE ARMOR TRAINING?
SOOOOO GOOD!
Dex Check: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (16) + 6 = 22
OH MAN I JUST DID LIKE SIXTEEN BACKFLIPS OVER THAT TRAP GUYS
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Guys, we're not playing newfangled stuff. Dex checks you need to roll low to succeed. Do you have above 14 Dex, Babby? You do get a -2 bonus for armor training. Gas, on the other hand/plank/whatever, makes a perfect dex check and soars beautifully across the pit trap.
WHAT THE-
THAT SUCKS MORE THAN YOU EATING AN EGG, GRANDPA
FINE I DISARM THE STUPID TRAP AND CLAP FOR GAZEBOS AWESOME FLIP
Okay, roll percentage dice against your disarm traps thief ability.
WHAT THE HELL ARE PERCENTAGE DICE
ALL I HAVE ARE D20'S AND A BUNCH OF D6'S FOR MY WEAPONS AND SNEAK ATTACKS
I cast Create Bridge over the pit, pickpocket the light coin from Babby and chuck it across the edge.
Dex check: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (14) + 1 = 15
AM HEALER HAS DEX OF 7. I DID NOT ROLL UNDER THAT. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I TRY TO RIDE THE OTYUGH LIKE A PONY?
*Full BAB reaches for wallet*
*Full BAB did not check for traps*
*Fake wallet is pulled out and mini Bear-Trap Boobie-Trap goes off*
*Full BAB loses 2 fingers and part of thumb*
It is kind of hard disabling traps with only one hand.
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WAIT IS IT LIKE A TRAP FOR BEARS OR A TRAP THAT IS A BEAR?
WITH YOU RANGERS I DO NOT LIKE TO ASSUME WHAT YOU DO OR DO NOT DO WITH YOUR ANIMAL COMPANIONS
ALSO YOU TOTALLY OWE ME A LIGHT COIN NOW
I walk across the bridge I made.
It is a real grizzly bear. I had it enchanted so all I have to do is say a word to make it shrink to pocket size or grow to full size. It protects my property very well.
I will become an orb and flitter around the otyugh's face in an attempt to fascinate it. Or the party.
*flies down the stairs and lands on Nesod's shoulder*
"Brrraaap! You should punish the innkeeper for watering down the ales here."
Hey , otyugh! Lead us to the rats and help us kill them, then you can have the sewers all to yourself.
"Eat the little torch boy, if you want, Mr. Otyugh."
Or if you wait for me to prepare Spicy Hands, the raven.
"No, not the eleventh secret spice!"
I bet my companion is deadlier than your familiar.
RRRAAAHHHHRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!
GIVE ME BACK MY FINGERS BEAR OR I WILL STAB YOU SO HARD YOUR MOMMA BEAR WILL FEEL IT BACK IN HER BEAR RETIREMENT HOME
P.S. IT IS PROBABLY THE SAME HOME OUR GM IS FROM AHAHAHAHA
Alright, let's see where this goes. Raven, activate PLAN ZETA!!!
*proceeds to cast Sleep on everyone except Nesod*
"Take their wallets now, Master!"
*bear slaps vicious chicken before spell completed*
Did I mention my bear can sense hostile intent toward me?
"Who's being hostile?"
*gestures toward Nesod*
"He's the one who came up with the plans. And, if your bear slaps me again, you'll have to answer to the great and powerful Nesod."
*falls on the floor laughing*
"No, seriously, he deals with the inter-party conflicts too..."
You mean he instigates them.
No, it's the voices in my head. They say "Kill them! Kill them all, and you shall gain the power to be master of the abyss!" And I'm like "Hey, voices! Make yourself useful and get me a SANDWICH!" Ha ha...ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!
Babby, percentile dice are two d10s rolled to get a number from 1 to 100.
*points to a pair of borked dice that might have been recognizable as what he describes some decades ago*
Anyway, with the bridge over the pit trap, disarming is no longer needed. And we don't talk about Mrs Bear from room 43 here.
AM H: You grab the otyugh's eye tentacle, which makes it flail to shake you off, and you don't manage to sit down on its back. When a strange orb flitters around the otyugh, however, it grows a bit confused, fixing its gaze on that. You get another dexterity check to sit down, at a -2 bonus.
Chick: You can't seem to find Dibbley anywhere. It may be that something horrible ate him already. Perhaps the rats?
The otyugh seems a bit calmer now. It has stopped flailing its spike tentacles. The light coin illuminates a long corridor with the occasional door to the side, first one to the left. Something is lying on the ground next to it.
What are you doing?
LET'S TRY AGAIN.
Dex: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (10) - 1 = 9
I RIDE THAT B~!!*.
Congratulations, AM H. You seem to have a (more than a little smelly) ride for the moment. The otyugh doesn't seem too distraught by you hanging there. Then again, you don't weigh anything.
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