>>Blame *Cosmo* for ALL your problems here<<

[John Kretzer]

SnowJade wrote:

John Kretzer wrote:

Tels wrote:

John Kretzer wrote:

I Blame Cosmo for the snow we got today.

I Blame Cosmo for after working 5+ hours lifting heavy packages when I got home I had to shovel the sidewalk.

I Blame Cosmo for living on a cornor thus doubling the distance I had too shovel.

Do you live in or near Alaska or something? Every time you blame Cosmo about the weather, it's the same weather I have here.

No I live in NJ....and for that I Blame Cosmo.

Hey, I lived in Joisey before there was a Cosmo to blame.

Where in Jersey?

[Alexander Augunas]

John Kretzer wrote:

Tels wrote:

John Kretzer wrote:

I Blame Cosmo for the snow we got today.

I Blame Cosmo for after working 5+ hours lifting heavy packages when I got home I had to shovel the sidewalk.

I Blame Cosmo for living on a cornor thus doubling the distance I had too shovel.

Do you live in or near Alaska or something? Every time you blame Cosmo about the weather, it's the same weather I have here.

No I live in NJ....and for that I Blame Cosmo.

You live in Jersey? I live in Philadelphia. Philadelphians who know not of Cosmo and his treachery blame New Jersey and its denizens for all of their problems.

Although I have heard Cosmo's siren call, I too am quick to blame a New Jersian before assessing the situation and realizing that whatever my woes are actually Cosmo's fault.

[Sara Marie]

I blame Cosmo that I spent 12 hours working at Paizo and then came home and hopped on paizo.com and read the messageboards.

[Ambrosia Slaad]

I also blame Cosmo for those of us still awake.

[SnowJade]

John Kretzer wrote:

SnowJade wrote:

John Kretzer wrote:

Tels wrote:

John Kretzer wrote:

I Blame Cosmo for the snow we got today.

I Blame Cosmo for after working 5+ hours lifting heavy packages when I got home I had to shovel the sidewalk.

I Blame Cosmo for living on a cornor thus doubling the distance I had too shovel.

Do you live in or near Alaska or something? Every time you blame Cosmo about the weather, it's the same weather I have here.

No I live in NJ....and for that I Blame Cosmo.

Hey, I lived in Joisey before there was a Cosmo to blame.

Where in Jersey?

East Brunswick for about three years, then we managed to scrape up the down payment on a house in Howell. First house, first car, first Real Job. First cat. Come to think of it, I owe Joisey a fair old amount, not least for teaching me how to drive (a little Honda CRX against the big rigs on the Turnpike - it was learn to drive or die). I blame Cosmo because sometimes, I actually miss the place.

So where in Jersey are you?

[Feros]

I blame Cosmo for New Jersey (there is a reason the Statue of Liberty is looking the other way...).

[John Kretzer]

Alexander Augunas wrote:

John Kretzer wrote:

Tels wrote:

John Kretzer wrote:

I Blame Cosmo for the snow we got today.

I Blame Cosmo for after working 5+ hours lifting heavy packages when I got home I had to shovel the sidewalk.

I Blame Cosmo for living on a cornor thus doubling the distance I had too shovel.

Do you live in or near Alaska or something? Every time you blame Cosmo about the weather, it's the same weather I have here.

No I live in NJ....and for that I Blame Cosmo.

You live in Jersey? I live in Philadelphia. Philadelphians who know not of Cosmo and his treachery blame New Jersey and its denizens for all of their problems.

Although I have heard Cosmo's siren call, I too am quick to blame a New Jersian before assessing the situation and realizing that whatever my woes are actually Cosmo's fault.

I Blame Cosmo for Philadelphians blaming New Jersey for all of their problems and not giving Cosmo his due.

[John Kretzer]

SnowJade wrote:

So where in Jersey are you?

In a town called Ho-Ho-Kus...beside brief stints of living in Fair Lawn, Orkland, and Oakridge I have lived all my life in that town. It is by Ridhewood or Paramus.

Now if you look up the town you might see it without the hyphens...somehow during my lifetime we have lost them..

I Blame Cosmo for stealing Ho-Ho-Kus' hyphens.

Also today I blame Cosmo for the box a co-worker dropped on my head.

[John Kretzer]

nd New Jersey blames Cosmo for Feros.

[Bombadil]

why stop at Jersey, I blame Cosmo for the Cosmos

[Chris Lambertz]

If you blame Cosmo for Cosmo, do you create an infinite loop?

[Bombadil]

I blame Cosmo for infinite loops.

I also blame Cosmo for all Cosmos being his offspring, which produced Cosmo, an infinite loop (goto line 1)

[Tels]

Tels wrote:

Shadar Aman wrote:

Tels wrote:

AndIMustMask wrote:

monks would cry for a great many things that let them actually pull off the unarmed combat bit (or really any combat bit, zen archer and tetori notwithstanding), tels. decent crit range is just one of them.

I'm well aware, but I felt someone had to point it out. I don't know if it will factor into the Warpriest design, but it should at least be mentioned.

We just need some kind of archetype that loses armor proficiency and gains wisdom to AC, and we could make some pretty awesome Warpriests of Irori.

-_-

You must be one of Cosmo's minions.

I have successfully discovered a minion of Cosmo!

For the record, I blame Cosmo for wanting more things taken from the Monk.

[Shadar Aman]

Tels wrote:

Tels wrote:

Shadar Aman wrote:

Tels wrote:

AndIMustMask wrote:

monks would cry for a great many things that let them actually pull off the unarmed combat bit (or really any combat bit, zen archer and tetori notwithstanding), tels. decent crit range is just one of them.

I'm well aware, but I felt someone had to point it out. I don't know if it will factor into the Warpriest design, but it should at least be mentioned.

We just need some kind of archetype that loses armor proficiency and gains wisdom to AC, and we could make some pretty awesome Warpriests of Irori.

-_-

You must be one of Cosmo's minions.

I have successfully discovered a minion of Cosmo!

For the record, I blame Cosmo for wanting more things taken from the Monk.

If we blame Cosmo for all problems, does that make us all minions of Cosmo?

[Tels]

Shadar Aman wrote:

Tels wrote:

Tels wrote:

Shadar Aman wrote:

Tels wrote:

AndIMustMask wrote:

monks would cry for a great many things that let them actually pull off the unarmed combat bit (or really any combat bit, zen archer and tetori notwithstanding), tels. decent crit range is just one of them.

I'm well aware, but I felt someone had to point it out. I don't know if it will factor into the Warpriest design, but it should at least be mentioned.

We just need some kind of archetype that loses armor proficiency and gains wisdom to AC, and we could make some pretty awesome Warpriests of Irori.

-_-

You must be one of Cosmo's minions.

I have successfully discovered a minion of Cosmo!

For the record, I blame Cosmo for wanting more things taken from the Monk.

If we blame Cosmo for all problems, does that make us all minions of Cosmo?

Don't try to frighten me with your Cosmo-esque ways, Shadar Aman! Your sad devotion to that ancient fiend has not helped you conjure up a way of defeating Sara Marie!

Only perpetrating Cosmo's will can make one a follower. Recognizing his evils means only that you possess the fortitude to withstand his plots, and with the strength of Sara Marie, defy him.

[Rysky]

Hmm I wonder what Domains Cosmo grants.

[Shadar Aman]

Rysky wrote:

Hmm I wonder what Domains Cosmo grants.

Madness and Trickery, at least.

[Rysky]

Shadar Aman wrote:

Rysky wrote:

Hmm I wonder what Domains Cosmo grants.

Madness and Trickery, at least.

As well as Chaos and maybe Evil.

What about Weather?

[Tels]

Shadar Aman wrote:

Rysky wrote:

Hmm I wonder what Domains Cosmo grants.

Madness and Trickery, at least.

And probably Chaos and Destruction.

[Rysky]

Tels wrote:

Shadar Aman wrote:

Rysky wrote:

Hmm I wonder what Domains Cosmo grants.

Madness and Trickery, at least.

And probably Chaos and Destruction.

Not so sure about Destruction. Would probably put Luck as the last one.

[Alexander Augunas]

Cosmo grants all Cleric Domains, but when you pray to him for spells, he smites you with those spells instead of granting them to you.

Being smitted with the Healing Domain's spells is exceptionally gruesome. (See the Plane of Positive Energy; the Gods dare not tread there because it is Cosmo's Playground.)

[Master Pugwampi]

Rysky wrote:

Tels wrote:

Shadar Aman wrote:

Rysky wrote:

Hmm I wonder what Domains Cosmo grants.

Madness and Trickery, at least.

And probably Chaos and Destruction.

Not so sure about Destruction. Would probably put Luck as the last one.

He grants all the domains: ALL!!! For he is Cosmo, God of Pugwampis and Lord of Chaos! Worship him and be destroyed...little by little.

[Tels]

Cosmo (Deity)
Title Sales Imp
Alignment Chaotic Evil
Portfolio Madness, Misfortune, Choas, Vilainy
Worshipers doomsayers, villains, the Joker
Cleric Alignments CE, CN, NE
Domains (Sub-Domains) Chaos (Entropy), Destruction (Catastrophe), Evil (Fear), Madness (Insanity), Trickery (Deception)
Favored Weapon Calamity

Cosmo, the Sales Imp, is a bringer of darkness and insanity. Wholly Evil, he seeks to bring misfortune and suffering upon the world through evil plots and even seemingly unrelated 'accidents'. Whenever something bad happens in your life, be it a collapsing wall, bad crops or even stubbing your toe, chances are good that Cosmo was behind it.

Cosmo disdains from using physical weapons; calamity, catastrophes, 'accidents' and the like are his chosen form of combat.

[Master Pugwampi]

Tels wrote:

Cosmo (Deity)

Title Sales Imp
Alignment Chaotic Evil
Portfolio Madness, Misfortune, Choas, Vilainy
Worshipers PUGWAMPIS,doomsayers, villains, the Joker
Cleric Alignments CE, CN, NE
Domains (Sub-Domains) Chaos (Entropy), Destruction (Catastrophe), Evil (Fear), Madness (Insanity), Trickery (Deception)
Favored Weapon Calamity

Cosmo, the Sales Imp, is a bringer of darkness and insanity. Wholly Evil, he seeks to bring misfortune and suffering upon the world through evil plots and even seemingly unrelated 'accidents'. Whenever something bad happens in your life, be it a collapsing wall, bad crops or even stubbing your toe, chances are good that Cosmo was behind it.

Cosmo disdains from using physical weapons; calamity, catastrophes, 'accidents' and the like are his chosen form of combat.

Fixed that for you! :)

[Drock11]

Has anybody ever noticed there was no toilet paper left only after it was much too late? It must be a favorite trick of Cosmo's. Needless to say how that situation was resolved and the measures taken immediately preceding that are too horrible to mention.

What's worse is that for some reason a roll was left and was tucked in a tricky to see spot that was only two feet away from me most of the time.

[Feros]

Drock11 wrote:

Has anybody ever noticed there was no toilet paper left only after it was much too late? It must be a favorite trick of Cosmo's. Needless to say how that situation was resolved and the measures taken immediately preceding that is too horrible to mention.

What's worse is that for some reason a roll was left and was tucked in a tricky to see spot that was only two feet away from me most of the time.

You forgot to actually say, "I blame Cosmo"!

I blame Cosmo.

[Scribbling Rambler]

Chris Lambertz wrote:

If you blame Cosmo for Cosmo, do you create an infinite loop?

Bombadil wrote:

I blame Cosmo for infinite loops.

I also blame Cosmo for all Cosmos being his offspring, which produced Cosmo, an infinite loop (goto line 1)

Are you saying that Cosmo will cause mo' Cosmos in the Cosmos??

[Bombadil]

Yep, infinite parallel cosmos, all populated with Cosmos, and for that I blame Cosmo

[John Kretzer]

Rysky wrote:

Hmm I wonder what Domains Cosmo grants.

Already did this on my thread...though I'll copy it here.

Cosmo, Evil Beyond Evil, Gods of Ruin, Dispair, Thwarting and Moustaches.

Alignment: EVIL!!! (Cosmo is beyond Chaos, law or neatrality)
Domains: Evil, Trickery, Destruction, Charm, and Moustaches(NEW).
Favored Weapon: The internet
Centers of Whorship: Everywhere
Nationality: American(?)

Moustache Domain:
Granted Powers:
Angry Moustache: As a Standard action anyone veiwing you is intimindated by your angry moustache. They must make will save or be cowering for a 1d4 rounds. You can use this ability a number of time per day equalt to 3 + wis mod.

Seductive Mopustache: Once per day + 1 per every 4 levels you gain you may seduce a target by the awesomness of your moustache. The taget geta will save at -4 if that person wopuld normally be attracted to your gender and/or race. This seduction last for 1 hour per level.

Domain Spells: 1st: Fumble Tongue(person grows a moustache entangling his tongue), 2nd: Unnatural Lust, 3rd: Strangling Hair(Moustache only), 4th:Leashed Shacles, 5th: Possess Objects(Moustaches only), 6th: Utter Contempt, 7th: Joyful Rature, 8th: Prediction of Failure, 9th: Animate Moustach.

Oh and I blame Cosmo for people not knowing about this.

[Cosmo]

Rysky wrote:

Hmm I wonder what Domains Cosmo grants.

None.

*:

*Not a guarantee.

[Bombadil]

None?

[Ambrosia Slaad]

I love the TV show Archer, but my brother hates it... I blame Cosmo.

My brother loves the TV show Bob's Burgers, but I do not... I blame Cosmo.

While we both like H. Jon Benjamin, we both agree that we dislike Home Movies... I blame Cosmo.

[Drock11]

So another shopping thing I blame Cosmo on. I was in the store today and I had to listen to the holiday jingles they have going on softly on the in store intercom. They weren't even the kind with lyrics, just instrumentals.

They drove me nuts. It was like water torture, and I could just imagine with each note a crack slowly forming in my psyche until I snapped. I've come to believe that a good portion of the meltdowns people have in the stores are due to hearing that infernal music pretending to be cheerful, no matter the reality of what's around you. It can constantly burrow into you even when you don't notice them. I realized it must be another scheme by Cosmo just in time. He's not content until his dastardly and scheming self sees everybody else morph into something more like him. It was hard, but I had to keep telling myself to "Resist Cosmo. Must Not Let Him Win." I barely held out, but I don't think others were so lucky proving yet again that no matter what Cosmo really does always win.

I was also there to spend my holiday bonus from my employer this year. I can only assume that Cosmo had something to do with their choice. This year I got a ten dollar gift card for Wal-Mart, seriously. Merry Christmas indeed. I'm sure Cosmo thought of the idea of gift cards in the first place, because lets face it the thought process involved in the creation of something that's akin to giving somebody money that's not really money at all and can only be spent where the giver forces that person to take it is something so maddening and nonsensical that he must have had something to do with it.

Still, Wal-Mart? I mean if my employer was going to throw most of it's workers a bone to feel good and pat themselves on the back couldn't they have just tacked on an extra ten bucks on our paychecks or something?

[Ambrosia Slaad]

I blame Cosmo for Google turning into Skynet.

[Tels]

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

I blame Cosmo for Google turning into Skynet.

Who'd have thought that the company that unleashes the apocalypse, would have started off as a search engine?

[Ambrosia Slaad]

I'd like to blame my stomach full of roiling xenomorph-grade acid on nerves for SupaStah! 2014... but I choose to blame it on Cosmo.

[Google, Demon Queen of Spiders]

Tels wrote:

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

I blame Cosmo for Google turning into Skynet.

Who'd have thought that the company that unleashes the apocalypse, would have started off as a search engine?

I know! All this for lil' ol' me.

[Ambrosia Slaad]

I'd like to blame Cosmo for my colossal f@@#-up, but it's totally my fault. Yay me, good job keeping the nearly unbroken Streak of Suck going for all of 2013.

[Rysky]

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

I'd like to blame Cosmo for my colossal f&@!-up, but it's totally my fault. Yay me, good job keeping the nearly unbroken Streak of Suck going for all of 2013.

This much self-depreciation is obviously Cosmo's doing.

[John Kretzer]

I Blame Cosmo for our snow blower not working.

I Blame Cosmo for the fact that I have to work tomnorrow probably 8 hours than come home and have to shovel the sidewalk and driveway...and have game to be at after.

[Tels]

John Kretzer wrote:

I Blame Cosmo for our snow blower not working.

I Blame Cosmo for the fact that I have to work tomnorrow probably 8 hours than come home and have to shovel the sidewalk and driveway...and have game to be at after.

Seriously!?

I blame Cosmo for Alaska and New Jersey having the same weather patterns.

(Just got over a foot of snow)

[Spanky the Leprechaun]

Cosmo caused this weather. With his beard.

[Alexander Augunas]

Spanky the Leprechaun wrote:

Cosmo caused this weather. With his beard.

Ah ... ew.

[Ambrosia Slaad]

Alexander Augunas wrote:

Spanky the Leprechaun wrote:

Cosmo caused this weather. With his beard.

Ah ... ew.

That's nothing, Alex... imagine what Eeeeevil his mustache and gall bladder are up to.

[Tels]

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

Alexander Augunas wrote:

Spanky the Leprechaun wrote:

Cosmo caused this weather. With his beard.

Ah ... ew.

That's nothing, Alex... imagine what Eeeeevil his mustache and gall bladder are up to.

Let's not try t imagine the evil any of Cosmo's bladders could be up to, gall or not. That way lies horrific madness.

[Amby's Brain]

Tels wrote:

Let's not try to imagine the evil any of Cosmo's bladders could be up to, gall or not. That way lies horrific madness.

That's like telling me to never put salt in my eyes.

To horrific madness and beyond!

[Feros]

I blame Cosmo for the monster storm hitting the Maritime Provinces on a day when I have to do go out and do chores. Blast you! *Shakes Fist*

[Spanky the Leprechaun]

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

Alexander Augunas wrote:

Spanky the Leprechaun wrote:

Cosmo caused this weather. With his beard.

Ah ... ew.

That's nothing, Alex... imagine what Eeeeevil his mustache and gall bladder are up to.

There's nothing cute about acute cholecystitis.

[Rysky]

I blame Cosmo for everyone but me getting snow.

[Tels]

Rysky wrote:

I blame Cosmo for everyone but me getting snow.

I got another 1 1/2 ft. last night...